A Fathers Wrath

Chapter 16: Plot Armor



---D-Day+169, Goridine 12th, 2nd Wednesday Morning---

---Chenghai—

*CHOMP*

“Aiyee!” “Run!” “Monster!”

Fantasy wuxia china guards, bureaucrats and disciples scatter.  Running and stumbling away from the first carriage.  Terrified by what they’ve just seen.

The other waiting wagons twist left and right as their horses whiny and panic.  Trying to get away but tightly harnessed to their heavy coaches.  Whose bailing out drivers have left the parking brakes on.

A nostalgic odor trifecta of blood, piss and shit mixes with the smells of the busy ocean port.  Hanging heavily in the light breeze under a bright late morning sky.  Corpses of guardsmen clutter the wharf behind me.

Richly robed and bedazzled in red and gold.  City magistrate fat fuck, looks stunned.  Staring at the coach he was about to board with his hostage, my yanese princess, Tiang Li.  The back half of the carriage is fine.  Luxurious even with its fancy oriental design and decorations.  Though, now, some blood and feces has been sprayed on it.

Bit of club soda probably clean that right up.

It's the front half that’s, uh, not there anymore.  Well, mostly not there.

The shaft that this wagon’s two horses were harnessed to, now ends just past the front wheels.  Looking like a splintered shattered fence post.  What’s left of the hinged tongue now rests on the ground.  Dipping into a puddle of gore.

On each side of it are lumps of flesh that once were the rear ends of ponies.  The sunny day makes the torn reds and browns of flesh and bone stand out against the grimy tan, grey and white paving stones.

If you look closely, you can see the parts of the back legs, butt and tail which remain.  The rest of them?  Gone.  Now digesting in the belly of the beast.

Said beast being Frazur.  An adult imperial dragon I turned into a living shadow after a night long battle at a charred smoking village on the granyan frontier.

As a tribute to the classic flick, Jaws, he manifested up from underneath the two steeds.  And then despawned back the same way.  Making it appear there's a landshark lurking underground.

‘Knock, knock, knock.  Who is it?  Telegram.’

With my astral and hybrid (part astral part material) undead.  I can summon them from anywhere within a couple dozen feet.  Giving me an almost guaranteed sneak attack.  Unless my necromancy is being fucked with by wards, holy magic, etc…

This cuts off the uncle’s escape route.  And takes a big bite, hehe, out of his plan to abduct Little Li.  While scaring the shit out of his cronies and causing the four experts, high level cultivators, disguised as maids to warily eye the rock under their feet.

Of course my haremites aren’t scared.  If you wanna be my lover, ya gotta get with- no.  Nope.  Not saying it.  That would be a pop culture reference too far!

Even if that’s what you really really want.

For ladies who wannabe my girl.  Being comfortable with the “living impaired” is a requirement.  Often have ghosts and shadows loitering around me.  Especially when there is any sort of privacy.

Yes, I’m using that word loosely.

Since I’m their anchor to the material and astral world.  My undead are somewhat… protective.  So like overeager bodyguards they prefer to linger.

Now getting close enough to pull off Frazur’s scene?  Has put me within a couple paces of fat fuck’s four “zhuancai,” experts.  Who look ready to kung fu me into an early grave.  So the atmosphere?  Still tense.

Li’s wannabe kidnapper is a head taller and a lot fatter than her.  But he’s deflated a bit now.  His shoulders sagging.  Through a few still screaming pencil pushers, christ, man up, [Super Senses] hears him sigh and mutter.

“Oh to not see Mount Tai.”

Little Li replies just as quietly.  Still held in front of the magistrate.  Back is towards him now.  With a fatty hand on one shoulder and a sword at her throat.  Some equine blood now dots that cute milky skinned face.

“Uncle Zhan, please, it is not too late to preserve your life.”

A low chuckle before fat fuck answers.

“Forgive this old fool, Xiao Li, but cooked rice cannot be uncooked.”  Shudders.  “The Lady of Bright Deportment will not ignore this disaster.”  Another sigh.  “Your mother spent a great deal to ensure clan Zhan would be the only great family here.”  Shivers.  “Will even my children be spared?”

“Uncl-”

Princess Li’s reply is interrupted by him squeezing her shoulder.  The Magistrate of Chenghai first glances back at the next carriage in line.  A dozen paces away but at least its distraught steeds are still intact.  Then he turns to the four karate maids showing off martial arts poses in between us.

“Esteemed zhuancai.  This servant has found himself inadequate.  Discovered I have no face left to show.  The Magistrate of Chenghai humbly asks for your aid.”  Eyes lock on me.  “Kill the evil barbarian.”

‘Shit.’

Still can’t see through these four handmaiden's auras.  They are hiding their cultivation.  Probably means they are on the higher side.  And with how wary they’re acting?  Bet my guaranteed surprise attack isn’t so guaranteed right now.

‘Shit. Shit.’

But no way in hell am I letting these fucks waltz off with one of my women.

*pinch*

‘Wha?’

Hitomi slides up beside me and nips my hip.  In fact, all nineteen have stepped forward.  Giving the combat maids the evil eye while looking fierce and swinging their weapons.

‘Whoa.’

Through my eyes I can see their courage.  Through my ring I can feel their devotion.  Determination to stand by my side.  The rush of their emotions overwhelms me.  Making me dizzy for a moment.

And grateful.

Smirk as I look left and right.

“I love you guys.”

Hearts pop in the eyes of nineteen women staring at me.  And I feel the temperature spike.  Is this what smoldering feels like?

*ahem*

"Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

Shinobi girl nudges me with an elbow before reciting another classic line.

“Here’s to the army and navy, and the battles they have won.  Here’s to America's colors, the colors that never run.”

Snicker and smile as I reply.

“May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.”

*zh-zhing*

Sanctity and Tormentor spring into my hands.  Lightning and flames spark down their blades.

Living shadows gather.  Forming a dense encirclement with bodies and blades made of ink and smoke around fat fuck and the sneaky servants.  Blocking any escape.  Fearful bureaucrats and guardsmen retreat further.  Joining the sect elders and disciples in an ad hoc peanut gallery.

My undead hybrid minions are mostly human and orc souls with some wolves and horses mixed in.  They suffered heavy casualties from holy curse magic back in Tourin but hundreds remain.

And I summon them all.  Even Frazur, shrunken to just “holy shit” size, rises behind me.

I’m done fucking around.

The rising of so many unliving now plunges the local air temp a couple dozen degrees.  Chilly enough that I can see my breath.  Their combined aura also dims the surroundings.  Like a cloud has covered the sun.

Fat fuck starts to shake.  Outrage mixing with despair.  Through pale lips I hear him whisper.

“Xiao Li, you forced me to do this.”  Then screams at the four martial arts maids.  “He is a demon!  Kill him!”

*ting* *slich* *spush*

The two maids on the flanks move first.  But… not in my direction.  The one on the right leaps back and lands in front of Little Li.  Sliding her saber up under uncle’s sword and knocking it away from the princess’s throat.

At the same time high kicking, flexible girl, fat fuck in the shoulder.  Causing him to topple backwards.  Towards the one on the left.  Who slashes once with her own saber.  Beheading the magistrate.

The overweight bureaucrat's body shoots a jet of blood out its new neckhole when it splats, to the ground.  Head rolls a couple times before coming to a rest.  Black beaded flat top cap still on, tied around his flabby chin.

The expression on his face is bewildered.  Confused.  Like he doesn’t know how he died.  Those eyes meet mine.  Have sort of a pleading look to them, I think.  As their inner light fades.

In between the headless body and shocked princess.  Four experts in disguise now kowtow to Little Li.  Blades disappearing back into their robes.

Li has turned around.  Witnessing an elder she once admired and cared deeply for.  Become a corpse.  Her eyes are red and swollen as tears fall.  A trembling hand reaches out as the wind tugs at her robes.

“Un-uncle?”


*clipclop* *clakclak* *clipclop* *clakclak*

♫D, Dm, D, G1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeE7NVYMIZU

“Play for me.”  Was all she said.

After watching her dear uncle die, Little Li ignored the kowtowing maids.  Ignored the blood on her face and clothes.  Even ignored the panicking welcoming committee.  Simply turned to the carriage and climbed in.

Not caring that the wheeled pumpkin was a bit lacking on the front end.  Wouldn’t look at the frantically apologizing officials and soldiers either.  Not even her older sister’s attempts to coax her out got any response.

Wasn’t hard to tell the poor girl was in shock.  What she needed was compassion.  Not complaints or commands.  So I climbed in to do just that while the embarrassed city officials and sect elders tried to clean up the clusterfuck they let happen.

As soon as I stepped in.  My xianxia princess said three words.  So I swung Cheri, the magic Yamaha electric six string, around front and began healing her soul.

No words required.

♫How about some tunes to drink whiskey too.2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COY0GoC4neU

And there we sat, with her head on my shoulder, sharing the blues.  Sometimes tears would fall on the guitar.  Other times fingers would trace the neck or arm.  I just kept on playing.

Outside, chaos reigned.  Didn’t take long for a lot more officials to show up.  The port’s head honcho just died after all.  Whole lot of finger pointing, cursing and aap.  Accountability avoidance procedures.  More soldiers showed up.  Then even more bureaucrats.

Within a couple hours a buttload more wagons rolled in.

Red made things crystal fucking clear to the locals and was soon running the whole show.  Quite the change from the reserved naive knight I first met just a few months ago.  She displayed impressive leadership skills.  Even the vice magistrate only had to be stabbed once before “getting the point.”

Hey, I was watching and it wasn’t even a through and through.  Didn’t bleed for long either… *cough* after Frankie used healing magic.

Honestly the locals were so humiliated and terrified to discover that one of the emperor’s consorts had used them in a plot to kidnap one of the emperor’s daughters.  That they desperately wanted us gone.  Anything to get us out of their hair.

So instead of trying to get us out?  The yanese brought craftsmen to replace the missing parts of the carriage on the spot.  And while the sect elders and disciples were soon being hauled off to their local branch?  We got the royal, no, imperial, treatment.

The fanciest coaches in town were lined up so my girls would ride in style.  While a full cavalry escort was deployed.  With two of the emperor’s daughters present and a very pissed off harem, the local clans pulled out all the stops.  Spared no expense.

Hell, before we even left the harem was treated to a catered meal.  Smelled like duck, I think.  Little Li and I didn’t have anything.  She wasn't in the mood to eat.  And I was still treating her wounded soul.

Only sour patch was the final boarding.  As in who got to sit where.

The other girls surrendered our coach to my wives pretty quick.  There was just one holdout.

Jingi Baiyu.  Or Baiyu Jingi with the last name first way the yanese say it.  The Beyulongong sect elder I’ve been dicking for weeks, begged to be in the front wagon.  Not a request Red was in the mood to grant after she and the sword twins left us hanging.  Standing back so we had fight fat fuck’s thugs alone.

As a Nascent Soul, 7th realm, daoist.  Jin could have made this fight a hell of a lot easier since the toughest they had was a Core Formation, 4th level.  Yeah cultivation isn't everything.  But it's still important and if she had stood by me?

Li's uncle might not have had the guts to start this fight in the first place.

The twins didn't even try to explain.  As soon as it was over they couldn't bear to face me.  Staring at the ground for a while before hopping on their swords and sadly flying away.

You wouldn’t think someone could actually “fly sadly,” but they did.

Eventually Red gave up and the convoy finally got on its way.

Turned out fat fuck hadn’t even gotten us a place to stay.  Maybe he planned to kill us from the start?  Red and the vice magistrate fixed that right quick.  Commandeering a vacation estate in the most picturesque part of town.

So with our destination set we began winding through the city.

‘Looks like San Francisco.’

And it does.  Like the entire city was turned into a more fantastical version of Chinatown.  Roads winding up and down and around the hills lining the bay.  Pagodas and feng shui everywhere.

Expected to see lots of horse or monster drawn carriages but, it's mostly manpower.  Endless numbers of way too skinny and or way too young yanese pulling or pushing ridiculously overloaded one or two wheel wagons back and forth.

Now there are regular wagons.  Even see a couple monster pulled ones that are two or three stories high.

‘Holy shit, they’re rich.’

As we get further from the docks, the freight traffic dwindles.  But the other kinds pick up.  And the buildings change from warehouses and workshops to temples and stores.  Tons of stores.  And not just the one floor master-apprentice setups I saw in Tourin.  Nope.  Actual two or three story tall stores!

And these shops are selling all kinds of shit.  Clothing, furniture, cookware, plants, food, everything you might need for your xianxia home and garden.  Plus, while I was in Tourin.  Society was mostly just the top and bottom.  But there seems to be a much bigger “middle” in Yangxu.

A higher percentage of folks are dressed better.  Like they’ve got some money to spend.  There’s also a lot more glass than I’m used to seeing.

The roads are all paved, with street lamps everywhere.  Buildings are crowded as fuck but orderly.  Wait, is that a traffic cop?  What the fuck is going on-

“Well?”  My mind blown meme is interrupted by an angry Red on my right.  “You pleaded with me to be here.  Then speak!  Or I will throw you out!”

Across from me, a much humbler core elder flinches at Red’s yelling.  Hear an exaggerated sigh before she finally lifts her head to look me in the eyes.

“Junfei-”  Stops when I hold up my hand and interrupt her.

“We are not that familiar anymore, Elder Baiyu.”  She shudders a little as I continue.  “I thought we were but today made it clear we are not.”  Suck on that, bitch.

For an instant I see remorse in her eyes before she composes herself again.  Her next words are less soft.  Tone is more formal.

“Badun Yuehan,”  My name is weird in yanese.  “You are Qianzai Dizi.  Not yet members of the North Jade Dragon Palace.”  A flash of regret again.  “As an elder of the sect and leader of the New Lady Dragons Group.  I could not become involved in a dispute between the imperial bureaucracy and a potential disciple.”

A scoff from my right.

“Goblin shit!”  Geesh, Red, language.  “Viscount Barton was invited by your emperor.  Who is also your sect’s leader.”  Crosses her arms.  “Do not sit there pretending your cow tits were tied!”

Crap, think she’s prego raging again.  But she does have a point.

Kung fu queen’s split second look of shame, before hiding it again, shows my first wife is on target.

“Please, Badun.  The Xinulongzu is the only women’s group in the sect.  A quarter of Beyulongong’s disciples are girls.”  She doesn’t hide a pleading expression now.  “Every year, sister daoists get heart demons, lose cultivation or even abandon the immortal way, due to lecherous elders and the Shaoyeshe(young masters club).  I could not risk turning a powerful woman into an enemy of the New Lady Dragons Group.”

I let out a long sigh before answering.

“How does it go?  Oh, right.”  Lock eyes with her.  “You can’t uncook cooked rice.”  She flinches again.  “Choices have consequences.  If I can’t count on you to be there when I need you?  Then I can’t need you.”

Yeah, Lurch didn’t back us up either.  But he’s some creepy elf eunuch alchemist.  The less said about him the better.

The woman I’ve been banging for weeks looks like she just swallowed a bug.  Or a very bitter pill.  But again showing how experienced she is, Jingi quickly brings her emotions under control.

“I… I, yes, I understand.”  Resolves herself and bows.  “Badun Yuehan, this irresponsible elder hopes her actions have not cut the karma we share.  Nor soured the sect’s reputation for you.  Please take care of potential disciple Yamabe Sayuri.  She will be bet-”

Our ride jolting to a stop, with whinnying horses and shouting drivers, interrupts kung fu queen’s “let’s still be friends” speech.  Ha!  Now?  You?  Just somebody that I used to know.

'Did she leave any records at my place?'

Investigating, the shadows show me something that pisses me off.

Our coach's driver shouts back.

"Deepest apologies Young Master Badun!  There is an incident between daoists ahead!"

I already know what the incident is so lean over and holler out the window.

"Pull up beside them!  I want to chat!"

[Super Senses] hears the driver exclaim to his copilot.

"He wants to chat?"

Copilot hisses back.

"No stalling.  You will get us lashed.  Move it!"

Another jolt and the carriage pulls forward again.  Navigating around crashed and damaged wagons.  See people helping each other up.  Tending to the wounded.  Reloading spilled coaches and stalls.

'How fast was that asshole going?'

Pass by the ruins of a carriage, and four badly wounded horses, before stopping.

'Damn, ponies really get fucked up a lot in xianxia land.'

Squeeze Li's hand as I hear through [Super Senses].

"Tch.  That's Tiang livery.  Damn.  May their ancestors be cursed to the eighth generation."

Tiang?  Oh, right.  Fat fuck was planning to kidnap my princess in this.  Makes sense he would put her family’s coat of arms on it.

As I reach for the door, Little Li grips my arm and proclaims.

"I will always stand with you!"

Hand her Cheri, lean back, and give her a peck.

"I know."

You go, Solo.

Copilot scrambles down and opens the door.  I step out and start walking towards the "scene of the crime," as another voice is carried to my ears.

“Thrice damned, it's a foreigner.  Probably a guest of their clan.”  Snickering.  “Bet he can't even speak yanese.”  Says you, douchebag.

Before me is a scene right out of a webnovel.  With crowds fearfully lingering along the edges, and watching from buildings, two girls are in the middle of the street.  An older one who's clearly injured her foot.  And a younger crying one, trying to drag the older one out of the street.  But not having any success.

Their clothes are a bit threadbare.  Compared to others I would guess middle to lower class.  They aren’t wearing anything new but they don’t look like they’ve been skipping meals either.  The, I guess, mother looks bone tired though.  Probably working multiple jobs to put enough food on the table.

Classic overworked single mom.

So sad- wait, where the fuck did that come from?

Nothing?

Okay…

In front of them is a teenager.  I think.  At least his face looks young.  Big, tall, tanned, with freckles, brown eyes, and black hair in a top knot.  A simple grey tunic covers a lot of muscle.  Totally swole.  Looking as innocent and justice loving as can be.  Kid Superman.  And of course he ain't looking too good right now.  Kind of woozy.  Bet he got sucker punched.

Oddly, superboy’s holding a spear that’s giving me bad vibes.  Like it doesn't like me.  Well, fuck you.  I don't like you either.

Circling justice boy is the obvious villain, stepping stone, etc…  He’s got a nasty looking whip and several cronies.  One of them pulls a disappearing act as I approach.  Some sort of invisibility technique?  Would be concerned but these guys are obviously cannon fodder.

Whatever, let's get the show started.

"What's all this then?"  Thank you Monty Python. 

They say something I completely ignore.  Instead, run down the checklist.

"Uh-huh.  Let's see…  Immobilized damsel?  Check.  Speeding wagon?  Check.  Hero steps in to save the day?  Check.  Douchebag driver?  Check."

Stepping stone says something else I also ignore.

"The test results are conclusive.  Houston?  We have trope."

Finally, stock villain says a word that is worth listening too.

"...Huang…"

?

Fuck.

'This is supposed to be where justice boy face slaps the young master.  But, I already killed the young master.'

Then I remember the coachman calling me "young master."

'Does that mean I'm the face slappie now?  Fuck that!  Better give kid superman a kryptonite enema.  Bet he breaks through during the fight too.  Ugh.  What a pain.'

Stepping stone says something something piss off.

"Oh, I would.  Wasn't even going to stop.  There's a problem though."

Start unleashing aura and have my minions sneak around.

"Ye-yes?"

Stock villain is now sweating and trying to stay as still as possible.  Gotta give this generic bad guy some props.  He's very sensitive to his surroundings.

“See that crying girl?”  He nods.  “How old would you say she is?  Eight?  Ten?”  I chuckle.  “Unfortunately, for you, kids are kind of my reverse scale.  And, hehe, you touched it.”  Let's, get, dangerous.  “Tell me something.  You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

There's the "oh shit" look.

"Wha-"

“[Umbrarmatus]”

Mana surges into a dark school spell that covers my skin with sharp inky armor as my hand springs forward and wraps around stepping stone's throat.  He's light for an evil henchman so I lift him up.

*gahk* *gahk*

The last leash on my aura slips free and it fills the street.

"Demon?"

Justice boy finally recovers and that's the first word out of his mouth.

Sigh…

Seriously?  I save your ass and that's what you say?  Yes, I use dark magic.  Yes, I kill a lot.  Yes, I am a lord of death.  Yes, I have undead minions.  Yes, I wear armor that makes Sauron say "nice, did you get that at Macy's?"  Yes, I'm about to kill this guy!  Yes, I'm about to kill… you… too?

Huh.

Damn.

Well, fuck it, just gotta remember the words of the wise sage.  "Zangeef," they could have saved so much ink if every sentence in that pamphlet didn't start with 'Zangeef,' "you are bad guy.  But this does not mean you are bad, guy."

'When is the next Bad-anon meeting?'

What the hell, let's mess with the protagonist a little.

"No.  But some say I'm worse-"

And just as I’m about to start my maniacal laugh?  Mister choking stepping stone chooses to throw off my groove.

"Spare… me…"

Hmm…

"No."

*crack*

Oh… baby… that hits the spot.  Nothing like snapping a douchebag’s neck to calgon your tension away.

At the same time my shadows stealthily skewer his cronies.  Including invisibility technique guy.  Guess he wasn’t so invisible after all.

"You… you killed him."

Ugh, what a surprise.  Justice boy gotta be a debbie downer.  And what were you gonna do?  Scold him?

“Well hello… Protag.  You know, if I were a gambling man?  Would say you’re here for a certain young master stepping stone.  Sadly, for your story arc, I already killed him.  So, guess that makes me his replacement.”

A voice comes from behind me.

“Master?”

Frankie has stepped out of the carriage with Red.  So I hold up my hand to stop them.  Knight-wife is in a delicate state being knocked up and all.  Shouldn't get her mad again.

“No, it's okay Frankie.  Should have expected shit like this.”  Sigh.  “Probably that bitch, Metia.  Oh well, fuck it.”

Someone's gotta be fucking with me and I've killed lots of her chumps.  So she's probably got a grudge. 

“Jon?”

Red's ready to let her sword do the talking again.

“Stand down Red.  Superswords got some beef with that kid’s spear.  Meaning this is some fate bullshit.”  Sigh again.  “Hey, kid, before we start.  How about I get your name.  Mine’s Barton, Jon Barton.  Though around here they pronounce it Badun.  What’s yours?”

The kid's got a weird look.  Would almost call it reverent.  But that can't be right.  Fate wants me to be your stepping stone.

“Uh, thank you for your help, big brother.”  Justice boy stands up and bows with cupped hands.  “But this little brother has never heard of the, uh, Protag clan.  My humble clan is Ding and honorable father named me Dong.  I am Ding Dong.”

*tires screeching to a stop*

“What the fuck?”

Ding Dong tilts his head.

"Big brother?"

Why is this idiot calling me big brother?  Is he brain damaged?  I better set him straight.  No!  Don't get distracted.  You've become the antagonist.  Gotta put the protag down.  Don't let him trick you into monologuing.

*zhing*

Sanctity springs into my right hand.  Lightning sparks.

"Sorry protag.  It's you or me and it's not gonna be me!"

*whoosh* *clang*

A nice protagonist ending chop is, of course, blocked at the last second by protag’s plot armor.

In between justice boy and Sanctity is now a short yanese woman in white robes.  Holding a big two handed sword that looks taller than her.  And using it to block my supersword.  She reminds me a bit of kung fu queen.  Not in a familial way.  But in a follows the immortal way, way.

'Goddammit.  Good odds she's some sect elder that I should not offend.  Ha!'

Start putting more strength into my divine sword.  The sparks intensify and white robe lady's sword starts trembling.

"So… strong…"  She shakily says.  Waking up justice boy.

"Do not fear auntie!  I will save you!"

*swish* *ching*

Ding Dong, god that's hard to even think with a straight face, swings his spear at me.  Only to be intercepted by Tormentor leaping into my left hand.  Flames rippling along its blade.

Justice boy quickly starts shaking too.

"Auntie, this big brother is, ugh, really strong."

“True, Ding.”  Grunts.  “But remember my teachings.  In danger there is reward.  In challenge, opportunity.”

The glowing bronze spear and frosty great sword grind and scrape against my sparking divine rapier and burning infernal sword.  I tower over the yanese lady but the protagonist is just as tall as me.  But I have no idea why they are trying to push my swords back.  Can’t they just dodge?

Feeling a bit insulted, I decide to ask.

“Do you always do this?  Banter while the villain is trying his best?”

“I am sorry big brother.”  He really gets into his act.  “But you must be defeated.”

“Now!”

[[Ice Cuts Strongest Stone]]

*cling* *krang*

‘Ah, that’s why.’

When auntie yells they both shift aside and flank.  I watch the qi twist and turn through them.  Feels like a fourth level technique.

‘Impressive.’

Their teamwork is fantastic.  Techniques perfectly in sync.  Moving in opposite directions and changing angles.  So even a dual wielder like me won’t be able to keep up.  Gotta admit, I’m dead.

'Most impressive.'

If all I had were two arms.

*whoosh* *pang* *bam* *crunch*

“Ar!”

“Dong’er!”

But I’ve got minions.  Hundreds of undead that can pass through the smallest cracks.  And appear anywhere within dozens of feet of me.  Like right next to two overconfident daoists.

The elder lady is fast enough to react in time.  Blocking both Rowl’s and Yodo’s attack while leaping back.  Protag isn’t so lucky.  Managing to deflect Mitsu but not Alex.  Receiving a long slash down his side from the ex-inquisitor’s rapier.

Maybe I should have put Yodo and Mitsu on the same target?  They are husband and wife after all.  The two demonkin were the leaders of those Metian church ninjas that attacked me on the way to Stormgarde.  And while the former templar lord Alex is almost as sneaky?  Ex-Champion of Calador Rowl is certainly not.

Should have summoned Juri instead of Rowl.  Oh well, lesson learned.

Auntie’s scream after justice boy gets poked pretty much confirms my other suspicions.

“Brother!”

A scream from my left draws the eye as more and more shadows come out to play.  Slowly isolating and cornering the struggling pair as the peanut gallery scatters in panic.  Four are not running away though.  All girls, naturally, with two holding back the other two.

‘Damn, if looks could kill.  That quartet is not happy with me.’

Still, everything’s coming up aces.  Superboy and auntie are suppressed by my living shadows.  Just need to wait for their trump card before I pull out mine.  Stomp and chomp then off for a tap and nap.

Been a long day.

Oh how silly of me to underestimate the protag's plot armor!  As, from the wagon behind me, I hear Little Li’s pained voice.

“Qiao?  Elder Qiao Zhi?”

Sigh…

Goddammit.


Alex (living shadow (male, human, tourinese))

  • Shadow Inquisitor
    • Former High Inquisitor
      • Richall, Alexo
      • Grand Inquisition
      • Universal Church of Metia
  • Guild Threat Rating
    • Silver (B)
      • Formerly Steel (C)

Ding, Dong (male, human, yanese)

  • 6'1", 16 years
  • Daoist
    • Juqi (Qi Gathering)
    • Houqi (Late-stage)
  • Protag, Little Brother, Superboy, Justice Boy, Kid Superman

Frazur (living shadow (male, dragon, iagreth))

  • Shadow Dragon
    • Former Adult Dragon
      • Frazurrarth
      • Black Imperial
  • Guild Threat Rating
    • Mithral (S)

Juri (living shadow (female, rat-human, tourinese))

  • Shadow Assassin
    • Former Assassin
      • Maissis Chapel
      • Universal Church of Metia
  • Demon-cursed mother
  • Adopted daughter of Mitsu and Yodo
  • Guild Threat Rating
    • Steel (C)
      • Formerly Iron (E)

Mitsu (living shadow (female, bat-human, tourinese))

  • Shadow Assassin
    • Former Assassin
      • Maissis Chapel
      • Universal Church of Metia
  • Demon-cursed mother
  • Mother of Juri, Wife of Yodo
  • Guild Threat Rating
    • Silver (B)
      • Formerly Bronze (D)

Qiao, Zhi (female, human, yanese)

  • 5'4", 300 years
    • blue eyes, snowy white skin, straight long black hair, d-cups
  • Lanxuejiao (Blue Snow Cult) sect
    • Neimen Lao (Inner Elder)
  • Daoist
    • Huaqi (Qi Realization)
    • Banbu (Half-step)
  • Auntie

Rowl (living shadow (male, human, tourinese))

  • Shadow Champion
    • Former Royal Knight Captain
      • Kingdom of Calador
  • Summons
    • Shadow Hounds
      • Alfek and Orsa
  • Guild Threat Rating
    • Silver (B)
      • Formerly Steel (C)

Yodo (living shadow (male, wolf-human, tourinese))

  • Shadow Assassin
    • Former Assassin
      • Maissis Chapel
      • Universal Church of Metia
  • Demon-cursed mother
  • Father of Juri, Husband of Yodo
  • Guild Threat Rating
    • Silver (B)
      • Formerly Steel (C)

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