All His Angels Are Starving

There were no other names for the people encased by the pillars. No other notifications appeared in Jenny's head. It was only when she shone light over them that they became translucent and Jenny could see the whites of their eyes, and the notification filled her head:

Death (level 0)

Some of them looked around her age, teenagers and young adults. Some were older with gray hair and wrinkled skin. She even found children; the worst were the toddlers and the babies. Their pillars were the smallest, barely coming up to Jenny's shins. She could've easily mistaken them for random stones, but when Jenny knelt and held her flames to them, she could see the young ones, standing just like all the others, their chubby arms and legs, their bellies open with their guts attached to the pillar like umbilical cords. She could see their hearts beating, their organs glistening, and their eyes... wide and expressive and so, so afraid and moving. Every single one of them was responsive; she knew they could see her.

She was careful not to make her flames too big or too bright, cupping her burning hand with the other to dim it as much as she could. A few of their lips moved, as though they were talking, but Jenny couldn’t hear them. They couldn’t raise their arms or turn their bodies, but their eyes followed her. Jenny tried to smile, tried to reassure them somehow. But what was the use if they couldn’t hear her? Could they even understand her?

Her stomach quivered from her retching, and she placed a hand over her navel. The children in the pillars reminded her of the angel babies that had followed her through the school; how they'd imprinted on her. What had happened to them? Were they okay? The last thing she remembered was sending them with Susan... they must've tried defending her from Miriam. Had any of them survived?

Jenny sighed and wiped her lips. She tried to relax her shoulders. Where am I? she asked with her mind. System? What is this place? Can you tell me?

After a moment's hesitation, when nothing responded, she added, out loud, "Eve?" It was a faint whisper, a faint hope. But again, there was no response. Eve was gone.

There was no trace of it left in Jenny's head. And why would there be? Eve now had a body, an exact copy of Jenny's; her body, her face, her eyes. And what did Jenny have? She’d escaped the high school and the Survival Challenge, but what did she have? She was alone, her eyes were empty, and she was surrounded by... these things. Swallowing hard to keep from throwing up again, she took a breath, trying to steady herself. But she couldn’t stop the scream, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

Her voice cracked. Her lungs burned, and she dropped to her knees and punched the ground as hard as she could. Tears welled up, and she struck the ground again and again, and as the dust clouded around her and she tasted it on her tongue, she realized it wasn't sand at all. It was salt.

"Is someone there?"

It was a whisper, a soft sigh moving through the air, and Jenny summoned her hatchet back with a flash of light. She was done with hearing strange voices, done trying to solve mysteries, but she was sure that someone had spoken. Out loud. It wasn't something else in her head. This sounded like a man's voice.

"Are you alive?" came the whisper again like a gentle breeze. "Can you help me?"

Shivers ran down Jenny's spine. She didn't recognize the voice at all. It had to be someone from this world. But why did they need help?

"Who are you?" Jenny whispered back. She wasn't sure why she was whispering. There was no wind here. No warmth or coolness, only the salty pillars and the gloomy sky, but somehow, being alive, felt strange and wrong.

"It's been so long.... Find me, please. Follow my voice. I will sing for you."

Sing? Why would anyone want to sing in a place like this? "Why can't you just come to me?" asked Jenny, turning around and around, trying to pinpoint where the whispering was coming from. All she could see were the pillars. "Who are you?"

But as she searched every direction for any sign of anyone, half expecting an angel or a ghost or something worse, she heard humming. It was a tune, something sad and lonely. Long drawn-out notes followed by words. But these weren't words that Jenny understood. It was in a different language, something ancient or alien. She'd never heard anything like it before.

Forcing herself to calm down, Jenny took a deep breath, shut her eyes, and listened intently to pinpoint the direction of the singing.

She would have to venture into the pillar forest. Jenny glanced behind her at the flat expanse of land again. It was so empty, not even a hill or a sand dune in sight, just barren flatness as far as the world went. But more and more pillars spurted out of the ground. More and more kept taking shape, and she knew each one had a person inside.

She listened again for the song. It sounded so pained, and a deep sorrow and anguish shifted inside her even though she couldn't understand the words. Touching her hatchet’s obsidian face to her forehead and squeezing the handle, she wondered what to do. She wished Susan was here; Susan was good at languages. Good at helping people. Susan would help whoever was singing, because if they were singing to get her attention, it might mean they were stuck. They couldn't come to Jenny. And they'd asked for help. There was no way Susan wouldn’t find a way to help them.

"Okay," whispered Jenny. Then, with conviction, "I'll help you."

Her mind made up, she stepped forward, moving carefully and deliberately to sidestep each pillar and not accidentally brush up against one. She didn't generate any flames; she didn't look too closely at the pillars. Her skin crawled as she walked. She could almost feel every single set of eyes on her, so she tried to focus on the voice, the ebb and flow of their song. Their voice went low and high and low again, slowly and purposefully, as though they were singing something religious, something from the Church. She reminded herself to breathe every time the singer paused to take a breath.

The pillars loomed, and she tried not to study their shapes. At the ridges and crannies, how each rock almost looked like arms wrapped around someone from certain angles. She thought some shapes might be elbows. Some could be hips. But without any fire or light, she didn't have to glimpse the person inside, but as much as she tried not to look, her imagination ran wild. She'd already seen too many people, humans and angels, cut open and bleeding and begging for breath - hungry and starving, hell-bent on sinking their teeth into.... she was salivating.

I'm salivating.

Jenny paused and sucked in a breath through her teeth, spittle dribbling down her chin. She rubbed her eyes with her wrists, her arms itching to try ripping her face off again. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! She kept seeing flashes of Susan's face, her smile. Her dust-covered blue hair as she'd held Jenny. As Jenny's teeth sank into Susan's throat and that taste. The burst of sweet madness, more delicious than anything she'd ever known before-

Stop!

Swallowing hard, Jenny straightened her shoulders and lifted her face toward the sky, as though she was trying to hold back tears. The tears came anyway. Susan had healed her so thoroughly, but what had been the point? Susan was dead, and now Jenny had her ability, Valescent Light.

As if in response, the rainbow of colors shimmered around her arm and climbed her hatchet. Reds and purples and oranges, curving and forming circles and rings, loops that faded in and out as her arm took on a golden hue.

Could I open another passage between worlds? Could I leave this place?

But she grimaced. Her multicolored light revealed the bodies in the pillars, more clearly than the fire did, and every single person around her seemed drawn to it. Their eyes wide and staring. Jenny felt a strange itch. A strange itch that seemed to shoot right into her mind and get stuck, and if she could scratch it... if she could... maybe she could... it was like a thought just out of reach, but with all these trapped people staring, with the singing, she couldn’t quite reach the thought. Frustrated, she pressed her glowing hand to the nearest pillar. It was an elderly woman, so ancient her wrinkles hid her eyes, but the light did nothing. The woman stared back, tears streaming down her cheeks, her lips moving silently, her intestines glistening.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong, thought Jenny bitterly as she shook her hand free. An ugly shudder went up her spine, and she felt bad for exposing the old woman to more light. Taking a breath, she listened for the song again.

The sweet humming tune had changed, and there were new lines. These words weren't in English, but somehow, she understood them:

Save me from this despair,

I have been here so long, forsaken.

Take me from this wretched place.

Such sweet, exquisite pain.

Father, make me whole again.

Mother, tuck me into bed.

With a sigh, Jenny continued in that direction. Her heart ached; she wasn't sure why. Somehow the song pulled on something familiar... some horrible, miserable pain, and flashes of her rapid pregnancy flickered through her thoughts. She remembered how her belly expanded so quickly, ballooning as the glowing, monstrous baby that had gushed out of her. The way her ribs cracked and her insides expanded and how she could've sworn her entire soul was trying to escape. She shuddered and switched the hatchet from one hand to the other. Too many thoughts. I'm thinking too much...

Sometimes, the singing stopped. Jenny would stop as well, as once or twice, she'd tried to keep going but only managed to turn herself around. Then the song would pick up again, and Jenny would course correct. Whoever was singing must get tired. It was better to just wait in the gloomy dark.

She kept expecting something to hiss. Something to leap out from some dark patch of salty ground. Unease clung to her so fiercely, and she wasn't sure if it was the world or something from within or both. Salt stung her lips and throat and lungs; she wished she had her tentacles. They would make finding this strange singer so much easier. And if anything else was lurking, her tentacles would've sensed them. Sometimes she reached for them with her mind, trying to flex muscles she no longer had. She swore she could feel them, could feel their thirst. Where had they gone?

She touched her navel, her blue armor peeling away to reveal the pale skin of her navel, flat and muscular. She’d grown so strong, but what was the point? She dug inside her belly button, scraping the inside with a fingernail, searching. Where had the exoskeleton come from? Where was it now? She was a Desecrated Human, so where was it?

Was she supposed to build a chrysalis and.... well, she didn't know what the Desecrated Angels had been doing. What the fuck am I, Guidance System? She shuddered as lingering notifications flicked through her thoughts; she’d felt them at the edge of her consciousness. They must’ve gotten stuck when she’d...

 

Ranking Bonus! Stage ii -> EXISTENTIAL ERROR

Wretched Human -> Desecrated Human

 

Congratulations on GUIDANCE SYSTEM ERROR

+50 Stat Points have been awarded

A second Energy Core has been awarded

 

Natural Order Corruption

Awaiting Metamorphosis

 

You have defeated Wretched Human (level 24)

Experience has been awarded

+1200 Energy

 

You have defeated Human (stage ii) (level 21)

Experience has been awarded

+1600 Energy

 

Dismissing each notification, trying not to linger on how much Energy she’d gotten from Susan, Jenny pulled up her stats, hoping it would give her some answers:

 

Jenny Huang

Desecrated Human (level 30) (existential error)

Age: 6,802 days

 

stats:

Power: 30

Stamina: 25

Durability: 20

Agility: 25

Stat points available: 62

Energy available: 4806

 

Bloodlust Ecstasy

Energy Cores (2)

 

She focused hard on the numbers, all her stat points and Energy. Everything from Existential Error to Bloodlust Ecstasy... she wanted to cry. She wasn’t Severed; she’d been Severed right up until Susan pulled her out and healed her thoroughly. But then? Eve had taken Jenny’s eyes and left her Desecrated anyway. So, what was she?

How did any of this make any sense? She tapped her forehead with the flat of her hatchet; she was thinking too much again.

But I have to think about this, don't I? I have to figure it out.

No. I have to figure out where I am. I have to find the word of... It clicked for her all of a sudden. The notifications for each person inside each pillar was Death. Slowly she lowered the hatchet and stared at the pillars again. Were these people's deaths? Was this the world she was looking for?

Was Susan's death here?

An impatient trembling spread down her spine. She wanted to set her entire body on fire and check every single pillar - but then what? She'd be hurting so many of them, and there could be billions, and what would she even do once she found Susan? She didn't want to see Susan like that: split down the center with her insides hooked up to the pillar. How was she supposed to get Susan out?

What will I even say to her?

She wanted to scream with frustration. The singing had steadily grown louder and louder, and it was once again in a language Jenny didn't know, but whoever they were, they might know what to do. If Jenny helped that person, maybe they could help her too. Maybe they knew what these pillars were. Maybe the person singing had gotten out of these pillars.

Picking up the pace, half wanting to use Instant Acceleration, Jenny ran toward the singing. She dodged and whirled around pillars as though they were enemies trying to attack her, and she focused intently on the song, so intently that she almost didn't notice when the pillars gave away and she stumbled onto flat land. The singing stopped.

"Here," whispered the voice.

The pillar forest was behind her now, and ahead stretched the same empty flatness she'd seen before. To her right and left, more pillars burst out of the ground. She wiped the sweat off her brow and squinted, scanning the view for any sign of anything.

A red burst of lightning drew her attention to a patch of darkness on the horizon. That was when she saw it: an enormous T-shaped shadowy thing jutting out of the ground in the distance. In the dark, it almost blended in with the flat emptiness and the sky, but when her eyes focused, she could see it. It seemed so far away. How did the whispers and the singing reach her then? She took a deep breath. Since the land was flat now, she could make it across quickly, but as soon as she was about to break into a sprint, the world rippled.

Everything shook, a tremor reverberated through the air, and Jenny felt a strange breeze as the flat ground and the storm cloud seemed to fold inward, almost like an accordion. The distance between Jenny and the shadowy shape closed, as though she was being tugged toward it, and that was when she realized what she’d been looking at. It was a cross.

A cross with a naked man nailed to it, his arms spread wide, nails through his palms. Long dark hair fell forward to hide most of his bearded, brown face and cover his bony chest. His body looked sunken, as though someone had sucked out every bit of his insides. His knees were bent slightly, one foot placed over the other, a single nail driven through both. A crown of thorns glistened on his head; there was no mistaking who he was. But he couldn’t be Him, could he? There was no notification in her head, just an unsettling feeling of recognition. Besides, Eve had shown her a vision of Him already, so who was this? What was this cross doing here?

Jenny had seen so many crosses growing up; she'd seen statues and so many depictions of Jesus, and she'd always wondered what that must've been like to witness in person. How it must have felt to have nails hammered through her hands and feet, and then to hang from the cross. She shuddered as she stared at the man, her hands shaking, unsure what to do.

"Greetings," whispered the man, his lips barely moving. He raised his head and smiled softly. Up close, his voice had more texture; he sounded so strained, so hurt. "You're not supposed to be here," he said. Then he laughed, a gleeful, awful laugh that started small and muffled before bubbling into heavy laughter that became a coughing fit.

His shoulders and his chest shook violently, and Jenny winced, thinking about the nails ripping and tearing through his flesh. Red lightning crackled around his hands and feet before fading away.

"A desecrated human..." said the man slowly, still wheezing. "Level 30. Aren't you something spectacular then?"

Jenny bit her lip. Why can't I see what he is? What does he want from me? Why does he feel so powerful even though he's nailed up to a cross? Fire flicked down Jenny's arm as she used Ignite and raised her hand to get a better look.

The man squinted. He was old. Very old. His brown skin was taut and ashy, stretched thinly over his skull, almost like the Tarnished Angel's had been. He was just as fragile, just as delicate looking, like he hadn’t eaten in ages and desperately needed medical attention. Jenny got the sense the man had been here for a long time.

"Let me see your eyes," said Jenny firmly. What are you?

"Do you think I'm like you?" The crown of thorns glistened across his forehead. His genitals were shriveled, like dehydrated fruit clinging to a dying branch. Slowly, he opened his eyes. Brown pupils stared back at Jenny, glistening shiny and bright in the fire's flickering light. "Aren't you just delicious? And you only respond to the language of light. Yet, you question my sanctity?"

Jenny's eye twitched. She inhaled deeply. "What do you want from me? Who are you?"

"My name?" hissed the man, and Jenny realized he'd just been hissing and shushing this whole time. He'd sang in a different language but spoke with the same sounds as the angels. "My name was... I was called Yeshua. And I very much wish to die."

“Yeshua?” said Jenny, blinking. She’d expected something very different.

“I want you to kill me. Please,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks, getting caught in his dark beard. Then he started laughing, a small laugh that grew louder and louder until he was roaring at the sky. Lightning sizzled across his emaciated body. “You finally sent someone! You finally sent someone to deliver me from this!”

---

author note:

last one for now >:) wanted to post 3 since i'd been gone so long. if you'd like to, you can support my writing and read even more chapters right now as advance chapters on patreon!!! it's up to 70: https://www.patreon.com/posts/108085319

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love you. more soon. xoxo