Another Me

I suppressed my anger, put on a smile, and went to join the other girls. During practice, I had to work harder than normal because there was a new routine given to us yesterday and we had an away game this Saturday. And while I had been in practice and watched them demonstrating it, I didn’t remember it. So, I had to bite the bullet and ask Ann, Janet, and Victoria to show it to me one more time. I also learned that our away game was just one town over. So, unlike the last time, we would not be staying at a hotel. All we had to do was show up with our uniforms on Saturday morning, and we would be bused over.

With their coaching and spending the two hours just practicing, I managed to catch up with what I missed yesterday. Still, both Ms. Mirth and Luna seemed dissatisfied whenever I saw them looking over at me. I did my best to ignore them. It's not like I could time travel to fix my mistakes. Unable to make them happy, I didn't stress it and just worked hard until practice ended.

After a quick shower, I changed, and Victoria's dad took us home. Because he hadn't been home in the last couple of days, her dad seemed to be "clingy". He kept asking her “what she did?”, “What she ate?”, and so on. I saw her rolling her eyes as she answered and decided to not be a third wheel before going home. My mom had sent me texts during the day, but she wasn't coming home until tomorrow. The house just seemed empty without another person in it.

Because of "In-School" I managed to get ahead with my homework. So, after practicing my dance routine, I checked the three new spells I received. The first thing I noticed was that Cloud Dagger, Boil, and Vertigo were all poorly made. Because of that, their chants took two to three times longer than they should. I began to think about how to fix them. The main thing was that they absolutely needed better terminology. It was no wonder that I managed to win a two on one fight if these were their spells standards.

I shook my head and started with 'Cloud Dagger'. As a level one spell, it wasn't that complex and should have only taken ten to fifteen seconds to cast. Instead, it took closer to forty-five. It was because that while it was an "Air" spell, it pulled the water into the water vapor from the air to form a basic dagger and the person that made the spell didn’t understand the science behind it. Still, he somehow managed to make it light and sharp without any other advantages. That was before I started. After three hours of me writing and rewriting the spell, I managed to tweak it a little to add a slight chance of an electrical discharge and reduce the cast time back to normal.

I rubbed my eyes as I mentally compressed the spell screen back into a floating orb. It was all psychological. To me, looking at spells was like looking at a computer screen that nobody else could see. To others, it might be glowing text or strange symbols. There were thousands of ways spells manifested, but they were all the same things. It was just how our minds processed the information differently and picked the imagery that worked best for us. Still, my eyes were watering from being open for too long.

I had planned on doing the others, but 'Boil' only made liquids hot, so it wasn't very useful. And while 'Vertigo' was extremely useful, it was a level two spell and would take time to fix. Instead of continuing, I just read through the wording and the theories the made them work before putting them away. It was getting late, and I hadn't done my "skin care" routine over the last couple of days. So, after grabbing some yogurt, I went to get ready for bed.

I used 'Dynamic Neogenesis' to remove some pimples that had popped up, even though I knew it’d repair my broken hymen. The thought of putting the dildo inside to block the repair, did cross my mind. But after what happened today, I just couldn’t bring myself to, at least for today. I still had seven days to decide if I wanted to keep it broken.

After I was done, I simply laid in bed staring at the spells I got today. I wasn’t sure how I felt about them. It wasn’t like I could get rid of them but having them made me feel uncomfortable. The best I could do was to make them my own. I wanted to sleep, but I kept thinking about how to rewrite the spells. It was as if simply having them was somehow dirty and only when I “changed” them would it be okay. It was stupid, but I couldn’t seem to relax. It wasn’t until three in the morning that I finally closed the last two spells. I spent the night reducing the time it took to cast ‘Boil’ and increasing how hot the liquids would get. I was probably too tired because for ‘Vertigo’ I ended up writing the words into a simple twenty second song. It would now cast faster, at the expense of my dignity. Done, I reset my alarm and finally fell asleep.

***

I ended up running to the bus stop with my hair in a mess. I had hit the snooze button one too many times and had overslept. Those extra minutes did nothing to reduce the dark circles under my eyes or my tiredness. I did my best to focus through the classes. I soon realized that if I was reading a schoolbook, they tended to ignore me. So, I spent most of my time reading and in harmonic Spell Casting I just sang backup.

Ann didn't meet us for lunch, and I found out she was in the nurse's office with stomach cramps, but because I was so tired, I didn't think about why. It wasn't until I got home that I put two and two together and knew her period had arrived. But for now, I just happily ate and listened to Janet gossip about what was going on in school.

I finally got together with Hanna and Beth. Dancing together took timing, something I hadn't focused on so during the class we worked on that. There were still a few issues, but our progress wasn't bad. It was just that feeling I got when I danced seemed to have amplified, as did the power of the backlash “punch” I received for any mistake. I almost cried out the first time I made a mistake. It felt like I was hit by a brick. And while I didn’t shout-out in pain, it left me breathless.

Pain was the ultimate motivator and I thought that might be why the others were so good at dancing. But nobody in the room seemed to experience what I did when they messed up. I chalked it up to another mystery of this world. As I danced and got better at syncing my moves with theirs, the power grew but so did the penalties for any mistake. The ones I made weren’t so bad. I was used to being hit, but I got punished even if a group member made one. It was like being sucker punched, just wham, fist to the gut. So, I was glad when we finally completed our dance for the first time. When we landed the last step, I felt something opening inside me. It had happened when I danced before but this time the feeling lasted longer prior to going away. But other than a feeling, nothing happened.

I walked to English a little confused and buried my head into a book to distract myself from the questions I couldn’t answer. I almost missed Miss Vellum explaining why person spells were usually more powerful than spells others wrote for you. It wasn’t until a boy gave her a defiant look and said, “I don’t agree. There is no reason for me to know this. I can simply have my father pay somebody to write spells for me” that I noticed they were arguing. Before that, I had been in my own little world, reading today’s chapter.

I raised my head and saw Miss Vellum pressing her lips together. It was as if she was thinking about how to answer, before she finally said, “You are right for level one spells, because they do not do much. As the spell levels go up, so does the complexity. If you don’t understand what you’re casting, how can you expect to ever drawl out the full power of the spell?” The boy didn’t look convinced, so she added, “Let me guess, you got a spell and after using it a few times it got more powerful.” Seeing something, her voice held reproach, “If you listened in class, you’d know that increase is just a fraction of the power contained inside the spell. You got better with the timing and invocation, but that’s it. Did you fully understand the terminology? What about the math and physics behind the words? You’d need to understand everything about the spell to draw out the full power. You must remember that there are three parts of a spell. Taking shortcuts is no substitute for real knowledge.”

The boy didn't look convinced by her words but with the whole class staring at him, he didn't continue to argue and just sat down. Miss Vellum cleared her throat to get the class’s attention and continued her lecture, "As I was saying, sentence structure is as important as choosing the right words. Whether you are writing a story or a spell using the proper phrases will enhance what you're trying to do. For example, if you were to describe my hair you might think it's strait or pink but..." She moved her head so her hair danced along her body, "You could also describe it as silky or ..." She kept talking. Interested, I listened to her lecture. She kept adding things into it like "Spells can almost reach the next level, if the user knows it like the back of his hand" and "Even the best crafted spells are useless in the hands of a fool". It was obvious, at least to me, that she was still angry about the boy's obstinance.

But not as unhappy as Mr. Montgomery, who didn't seem to care if we learned anything. He just sat at his desk like the world did him wrong until school ended. As the bell rang, I rushed out and ran to the front of the school. I had to go to practice but first, I wanted to see if I could see where those punks went after school. It didn't take long before I saw their colored hair in the exiting crowd. My eyes tracked them as they went to the student parking lot, got into a cheap, rusted car and drove away. The car sounded in protest as it turned right at the light. I didn't stop watching until it disappeared down the road.

I wasn't in a hurry. If they went the same way every day. I would position myself further along that road every day until I knew where they went. Sooner or later, they'd fall into my hands, and I would finally know what was going on. Satisfied, I hurried to the gym and changed.

I walked into our apartment and saw my mom humming away in the kitchen. She stopped what she was doing and rushed over before I could even close the door. With a woosh, my mom had me in her tight embrace. I heard her voice right next to my ear, "Sweetie you're finally home. I missed you. Let me see." She let me go and held me at arm’s length, looking me over. As she did, I could see that like me she had dark circles under her eyes and looked exhausted. I wasn't sure if it was work or Roy, since she had stayed the night over at his place. But it looked like she wasn't lying and had had a rough couple of days trying to catch up at work.

She looked concerned as she asked, "You look tired, didn't you sleep?"

"No, I was restless last night and tossed and turned all night. I planned on sleeping early tonight to catch up. What about you? You look just as tired. Did you catch up on your work?" I was still looking at her and noticed that while there were dark circles under her eyes, her skin looked more vibrant, like mine after I had started using 'Dynamic Neogenesis'.

“Almost, I will have to go in early but shouldn’t have to stay late.” There was a sizzling sound coming from the kitchen and my mom gave a “Ah, the porkchops!” before leaving me to salvage dinner. I set the table as she worked. Once I was done, I sat there keeping her company.

My mom was a good cook and dinner was delicious. But eating had just amplified how tired I was. So, after completing my nightly beauty ritual, I fell asleep. I didn’t stir until my alarm went off but because I forgot to reset it, I had to take the bus once again. Bored, I began looking over the ‘Black Chains', ‘Puppeteer’, and ‘Shadow Walk’ spells. What Miss Vellum had said yesterday made sense and I thought about learning more about them. Unlike everybody else, I couldn’t make my own and had to rely on what I gathered from men. Therefore, I had to increase my knowledge in an all-around way, because I couldn’t just pick the spells I wanted. So, during the ride, I looked over every shadow spell I had, trying to see what they all had in common.

It didn’t take long to see that the spells relied on physical objects interacting with electromagnetic radiation that had wavelengths between 400–700 nanometers. When that happened, the objects that interacted with those wavelengths made things called umbra, penumbra, and antumbras and the spells used those focal points to create the magical effects. Most of my time was spent learning what those terms meant and didn’t get into the math. Like the electromagnetic radiation wavelengths between 400–700 nanometers were referring to visible light and the three terms like umbra, penumbra, and antumbras were just parts of a shadow. It was simple knowledge, but how often do people use those terms verse just saying that light hits something and makes a shadow?

Seeing my gap in knowledge, I resolved to study more because one thing was for sure, in this world knowledge really was power. I smiled. To be an all-rounder, my social life would suffer, but for a person that likes reading it was simply a heavenly excuse. So, I ran to the school library and checked out a few books on basic shadow magic before homeroom and for the rest of the day, I read.

The only exceptions were the same ones from yesterday, choir and gym. With our dance test tomorrow, Hanna wanted to practice again. But I had cheerleading practice and couldn't go. Instead, we agreed to meet up before school started. I reset my morning alarm as I left the class, so I didn't forget again.

My next class was physics, which had turned into a self-study hall since Mr. Montgomery’s wife left him. He had stopped shaving and with his wrinkled clothes, he looked like he had spent the night at the bar. He just sat at his desk looking soulless. Because of that, the class was loud. Most students were talking and playing on their phones. Very few people had books out, like me; and even fewer were reading them. It wasn't that they didn't want to, but that their friends kept talking with them. As the bell rang, I ran out and watched my multi-colored targets until they drove away. After they turned right and followed the same path as yesterday, I ran back to the gym for cheer practice.

I got a ride with Victoria, and we chatted happily in the back seat as her dad drove us home. She wanted to come over but I couldn’t and said, “Sorry, my mom’s boyfriend came over today and she wants me at home.”

“Well, tomorrow then.”

I didn’t have much hope but still said, “I might not be able, but I’ll come over to study together.” Our relationship was progressing but because both our parents were back, we didn’t have a chance to be alone. Instead, we could only spend time in the halls. It’s just that other than holding hands and talking, we couldn’t do much else without getting into trouble.

“Okay, then tomorrow.” She looked disappointed as she said it, but what could we do?

We finally separated and I walked in to see Roy sitting at the table while my mom made dinner. He was typing on his phone, so I didn’t bother him. Instead, I went to see my mom. She was stirring a pot absentmindedly with one hand, while holding the counter with her other one.

“Need any help,” I asked. She was still getting up early and was tired from overwork, plus my cooking skills weren’t horrible, so why not. It’s just that she didn’t even notice I was talking to her. Her hand gripped the counter, and she closed her eyes as her lips parted a little. She didn’t look well. Even her skin glistened with sweat. I touched her forehead to see if she had a fever and she gave a startled yelp. I had to use my other hand to stop her from burning herself on the pan in front of her.

Her skin was a little clammy. She opened her eyes and when she saw it was me, she said, “Ohhh, you’re back. Dinner will be ready in a while. Why don’t you go stud…eee.” She stopped talking as she dragged out the “e” that ended with a moan of pain. Her knees became weak, and I had to hold her up so she wouldn’t collapse. My eyes opened wide in panic as I held her. She gave a grunt before shooting a look at Roy. When she looked, I saw her skin was redder than before, and her breathing had become ragged.

She gave a sigh and said, “Sorry sweetie, I ummm…” She seemed to think and then continued, “It’s nothing. My stomach is just cramping.”

“Are you sure?” My mind was going through all her symptoms, trying to figure out how sick she was and cursing myself for not having a better healing spell. When she nodded, I added, “Go relax. I will finish dinner.” I only said that because I saw Roy heading over. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have left her side. But he was a doctor and I wanted him to heal her as soon as possible.

She started to protest but Roy arrived and took her hand. His voice, as he said, “Come on, let’s go sit on the couch and I will make sure you’re okay” was a mixture of loving and sexiness. It was so erotic that I felt my body reacting as he leaned in and took her into his arms.

I watched them, mostly Roy’s backside, walk away. Was I lusting after my mom’s boyfriend? I shook my head and turned to finish dinner. My mind was a mixture of worry, lust, and disgust as I turned up the heat. It didn’t take long for me to stop worrying about my mom’s health. I kept looking over as Roy checked on my mom. The couch blocked most of my view, but I could see enough to know he was being thorough.

But… My pussy had become wet, and I couldn't deny that my lust-a-meter kept revving every time I glanced over. It went from zero to eighty whenever I caught sight of him. The thought of getting off kept repeating as a movie of Roy fucking a woman played in my head except that random woman slowly morphed, until I was the one, he was doing those things to me.

I snapped out of my daydream as a loud 'Sizzle... Sizzle...' noise became more persistent. My dress, that I had subconsciously raised, fell back into place as I grabbed the spatula and flipped the chicken trying to keep dinner from burning. The sauce in the pot gurgled and I gave it a stir. ‘I'm such a pervert,’ I thought as I forced myself to not look at Roy.

***

Dinner was awkward and I, for one, was just glad it was over. We sat around the table in silence. My mom wouldn't meet my eyes and would smile and frown intermittently as if unsure if she should be happy or embarrassed. It was weird. But that wasn't what was awkward. No, it was me sneaking glances at Roy. How did I ever think he looked average? It was like he went from a six to an eight and I couldn’t stop myself from trying to figure it out. I wasn't even doing it consciously but would find myself looking in that direction. I was pretty sure my mom didn't notice but Roy certainly did. He was nice enough not to say anything but... Very, very awkward.

I realized being around him was turning me into a fool, so I hid in my room for the rest of the night. But the excuse of studying I gave wasn't a lie. I seriously read through the shadow magic books; I got today. Part of it was because I wanted to be stronger. Another was that my body had become rebellious, and reading was a way of distracting myself from grabbing that dildo and fucking myself silly. Normally I wouldn't be against the idea, but Roy was haunting my mind and I didn't want to be thinking of him while getting off, too creepy. So instead, I focused on gaining knowledge.