Be Gay Do Crime

“Damn it Keiko, sit still,” Crystal hissed, her hands working to stitch the graze that their friend had taken during the raid.

Ashe was struggling not to laugh, even as the older woman glared daggers at her for it.  There wasn’t much actual heat in that glare, so Ashe just stuck her tongue out at the grumpy girl.  She was just happy it wasn’t her that was needing to be patched up yet again.  Then again, it might just be the painkillers messing with her mood at present.  She’d popped an extra one after the mission to stave off the worst of the lingering pain from over exerting herself. 

The mission had gone off with barely a hitch, especially with Brie’s help drawing away the bulk of defenders.  That plan hadn’t been pleasant to implement, but it was the safest option available to them.  The girls weren’t fighters, even Brie failed to hold her own against Ashe’s instructors. 

“This is bullshit,” Keiko whined, then hissed as Crystal added another stitch.  “You are taking way too much pleasure in this, sadist.” 

“Maybe I am,” Crystal said, her lips twitching as she suppressed a smirk.  “Maybe you should relax a bit, it might hurt less if you take the stick out of your ass.” 

“Stick’s been gone since we broke up,” Keiko said through her teeth. 

Sure, Ashe had given her some of the meds she was on after her own injuries, but they weren’t perfect.  The pain was muted, but new stabs still smarted like hell in her experience.  More importantly, there was a joke there that she couldn’t pass up.

“Pretty sure I have the only stick between us,” she said, flicking through the channels on TV.  She was hoping to find something that might distract Keiko from the worst of the process, but the news was only covering the blaze they left in their wake.  “And I sure as hell don’t want it lodged anywhere.” 

“I thought that’s what they did with that whole operation,” Keiko asked, her eyes glinting with mischief.  “You know, snip, tuck, and bam.  New hole.” 

Ashe blushed, looking away.  She wasn’t really wrong about it, but to just phrase it like that…  She would of course get Keiko back for it, but she could acknowledge a well riposted quip when she saw one. 

“A new hole would be nice,” Ashe said quietly.  “You know, one that isn’t a bullet wound at least.” 

Keiko snorted while Crystal shook her head, though Ashe didn’t miss the smirk.  At least her jokes had distracted her friend while the stitching was finished up.  Crystal cut off the surgical string and started to pack up her supplies.  Keiko turned back when she heard the click, blinking that everything was done.

“Huh,” she said, poking at the tied off section.  “Anyway, we should probably call Yessina and see what she can give us.” 

“It better be something actionable,” Ashe said.  “If she manipulated us just to bloody her enemy without the offered payment…” 

Ashe trailed off, but Keiko was grinning. 

“Now you’re talking like someone who can lead.” 

Crystal scoffed, dropping her medical kit back on the table.  “That’s why you distanced yourself?  Because she wasn’t leadership material?” 

“She wasn’t someone worth following,” Keiko corrected.  “She needed to grow up, and Ashie clearly has.” 

Ashe bristled, but didn’t argue.  Looking back, had she changed all that much since Robbie left the group?  It hadn’t even been a full month, but it felt like a lifetime ago.  Was that why soldiers not even twenty often looked so much older than some people in their thirties?  Ashe huffed, hoping she didn’t end up looking like she was creeping up on forty before she even hit twenty. 

Just because Ashe wanted to grow old as a woman didn’t mean that she wanted to speed run it.

“I’m glad that I meet your approval,” Ashe said with a soft glare.  “I should probably call Yessina and get that over with.  Hopefully she knows something good.” 

“Or what she’s going to pretend to know,” Keiko said. 

“Or that,” Ashe acknowledged softly, dialing the number she had been given and flipped it to speaker so everyone could hear the coming conversation.  When the line picked up she could hear the din of the Tangled Web in the background.  “It’s done.” 

“I can see that,” Yessina said.  “Quite the riveting news cycle tonight thanks to you, Inferno.  You are truly shaping up to be a valuable asset.” 

“I’d be more valuable if I had my missing man back,” Ashe said, forcing her voice to be even. 

A tittering laugh followed as Ashe glared at the phone in her hand.  “Patience dear, pleasantries before business.  I’ll forgive you for the faux pas this time, you are still young and inexperienced, though that is swiftly changing.” 

“I’m sure you’d be just as insistent if one of your friends was missing,” Ashe seethed. 

A weary sigh followed.  “One doesn’t have friends in this line of work.  Those tend to die by the time you reach the position that I have.  A lesson I fear you are soon to learn.” 

Goosebumps ran down Ashe’s arms, the fear that had been in the back of her mind jumped to the fore.  She didn’t even need to ask, she already knew that Robbie was dead.  Whether he was already dead, or soon to be, barely mattered. 

“We’re too late,” Crystal said softly, picking up on the same thing she had. 

“Most likely,” Yessina said, her tone resigned.  “Headhunter was investigating something, and ran afoul of the Iron Patriots.  I do not know what became of him after, but that attack was intended as retribution for him, so I thank you for following through.” 

It was like she’d swallowed a stone, the words delivered with such sympathy that Ashe wasn’t sure if she truly bought it or not.  It sounded genuine, but coming from someone who had been in the game so much longer than she had, it could easily be anything but. 

“Where was he last known to be?” Keiko asked, her eyes narrowed as she glared at the phone.  “I’d like to at least find the body, if he is dead.” 

“A nice sentiment,” Yessina said.  “You assume there is a body to find.” 

“Don’t kid yourself,” Crystal interjected sharply.  “He was fucking Headhunter, there isn’t a chance in hell that whoever has him isn’t bragging across the rooftops about it.  Spill.” 

Ashe placed a hand on Crystal’s arm, giving her girlfriend a sharp look.  ‘Do not antagonize the most powerful woman in the city’ went without saying.  They couldn’t afford to piss her off, not yet.  Not until they had their answers.

Silence filled the air, and it was obvious that Yessina was moving to somewhere she wouldn’t be overheard.  There was the clicking of a door, then she audibly sank into a chair as if the weight of the world was squarely upon their shoulders.

“His boyfriend was the one to run afoul of the Patriots, killed while venturing to the corner store,” Yessina said, her voice soft, with none of her put upon airs.  “Naturally, Robert wanted to go after the culprits, and told me to leave the rest of you out of it.  I didn’t expect him to die like he did, but I had a feeling he didn’t intend to survive his revenge.” 

“Greg proposed two days before the pawn shop job,” Keiko said softly, the news coming as a surprise.  “Robbie was playing that close to the chest, he wanted to retire after the next big payday, which that turned out to be.  Ashe taking those girls in was his excuse to get out, before he let his bleeding heart rope him into helping.”  She trailed off, a small smile coming to her lips.  “They were planning to move to Hawaii and be rich beach bums.” 

Crystal snorted, but her eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she choked back a laugh.  “That’s a mental image.  Robbie in swim trunks, lounging on the beach.” 

Ashe could picture it as well, Robbie with a glass of something fruity, a little umbrella set in the glass as he sips it through a straw while his boy— fiance doted on him.  He’d never get to live out that dream if Yessina was correct, but something in the back of my mind doubted her.  

No…

He hadn’t already left, he told Keiko enough that he would have tipped her off first.  Robbie would have told Keiko if something like that happened.  Something about the entire situation stank, and Ashe was determined to get to the bottom of it all.  

She couldn’t let on to that, not yet.  She needed Yessina to think she was playing along, that she was supplicating to the official story that was being fed to them.  She would have her own girls start snooping now that she had a better idea of the excuse given. 

Caralina wouldn’t be happy about that, but answers were needed before the trail grew too cold.  She would go through Brie instead.  There were ways to get rid of bodies that were all but untraceable, but someone with Headhunter’s reputation wouldn’t be liquidized in lye and dumped down a drain.  Head on pike was more likely, they would take the win and shout it from the rooftops. 

Which meant the man was alive. 

For how much longer, well, that was the real question.  She knew that he had sold his share of the drugs, along with Keiko’s, to Alejandro.  Had Keiko gotten her money from that?  That was as good of a starting point for an investigation as any. 

“It is good that you have pleasant memories of the man,” Yessina said.  “I know that is a cold comfort, but we take what we can, pick up the pieces, and move on.  I hope you all will be able to do the same.  Take your time and reach out when you wish to find more work.  Again, thank you for avenging him.” 

“Just doing what we could for a friend,” Ashe said, one finger raised before either of the others could say more.  “We’ll let you get back to business, have a pleasant evening.” 

“I am sorry for your loss,” Yessina said, then the line went dead. 

There were no words said for a few moments, everyone lost in their own thoughts as they were, as if they each had reached the same conclusion, but were afraid to voice it.  Ashe didn’t want to be the one to break the ice, but she knew that someone had to, and in some twisted sense of irony, she had become the leader of their little band. 

“Keiko,” she said, still looking at the blank screen on her phone.  “Did you get paid for the drugs that Robbie sold to Alejandro?” 

Her friend looked up sharply, with a crack of her neck that led to a wince.  Keiko reached up to rub at it and work the rest of it loose as she shook her head.  That was never pleasant, but Ashe had a feeling what was to come would be decidedly less so.

“No, he said he wasn’t planning to cut Alejandro in,” Keiko said.  “He was going to wait and see how well you moved it all before he had me sell you the rest.  He figured it would be a good sendoff.” 

Ashe swallowed with a suddenly dry mouth as she and Crystal shared a look of mounting dread.  The timeline lined up with Ashe’s meeting with Alejandro, Robbie went missing right around then.  All the color drained from her face as the full weight of the situation slammed into her head on. 

“They’re in on it together,” Ashe said softly.  “Yessina and Alejandro.”

Keiko’s eyes widened, her mind clearly racing to finish connecting many of the same dots that she just had.  Crystal was looking away, her fists clenched as the weight of the betrayal settled into the room.  It was beyond their ability to counter head on, and a sharp reminder of just how in over their heads they truly were.

“Well pissbuckets,” Keiko said, dropping back into her chair.  “What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” 

Ashe reached out, taking Crystal’s hand in her own, looking her girlfriend in the eye as she did.  There was a measure of defeat to her gaze, as if it had all been for nothing, and in a way she wasn’t wrong.  They’d done nothing to avenge Robbie, but that didn’t mean that they had to take being used lying down. 

No, there were options, even if they would take time to put into motion.  The gears were turning in Ashe’s mind, a plan forming that would either allow some measure of retribution, or doom the lot of them. 

It was crazy, and a bit stupid, but the idea wouldn’t leave her. 

Hesitantly, Ashe picked her phone back up and dialed a recent number. 

“Miss me already?” Brie asked, her voice chipper as ever. 

“You could say that,” Ashe said.  “This doesn’t have to start tonight, but the sooner the better.” 

“What did you have in mind, little Ember?” 

Ashe’s eye twitched at the now familiar nickname, it was an insult, but one meant in jest.  Almost endearing in a way. 

“I need you and your girls to start passing rumors along for me,” Ashe said with growing confidence and concerning looks from Keiko and Crystal.  “Think you can do that?” 

There was a beat of silence, and she wasn’t sure if Brie was grinning or grimacing.  Sure, Caralina was the oldest, and the one nominally in charge of the girls, but she saw Brie as more of a peer than any of the others.  Maybe it was that conversation where she let her mask down, and unlike when Alejandro had pulled a similar stunt, Ashe knew she had seen her friend’s true face then. 

“Give me some credit,” Brie said after a moment.  “Give the word and I’ll have half the city convinced Senator Ellington was sucking a twelve inch black cock by noon.” 

A smile pulled at her lips even as Crystal choked back a bark of laughter, and Ashe couldn’t help but add more fuel to the fire. 

“How about if that dick was attached to a woman?” 

Now Crystal actually was laughing, or rather, coughing with a smile.  Even Keiko had a bit of levity to her expression following that.

“Even I can’t work miracles,” Brie said.  “Gonna need till sunset for that one.” 

Ashe grinned, then explained exactly what she needed Brie to begin spreading and why.  The ramifications of such rumors lost on none of them, but in the end everyone was in agreement.  Jericho itself may very well end up the funeral pyre for their friend, but he wouldn’t be forgotten.

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