NOVEL SIMPLE Everything is a joke.
M-Maybe they shouldn't have even tried? What just happened? Why did it happen? They only followed their archmages' order to kidnap the ancient pet dragon when they were suddenly blown away by a single fist of fury justice Murim way punch and landed literally on another planet.
The last thing they heard was, "Don't disturb us. My lover's turning soon and two hours are too short to even waste a second," and the last thing they saw was this archvillain, they were supposed to enslave, coaxingly holding the dragon in his arms and running into the mansion. Did they see right?
The archvillain's eyes definitely didn't look normal! Why did it seem like they wanted to jump out and make love to the dragon immediately?
What the fuck was that? And why did their eyes, after seeing the lusting glint of the archvillain, instantly moved to his huge bulge that obviously fucking got hard for a dragon! What in the fucking world was that? Too terrifying, way too terrifying! This dragon! This ancient, rare species was a horny succubus!
It was a good thing they didn't actually manage to kidnap it! Just thinking about what could have happened to them, made their entire bodies shiver and their dicks shrink and shrivel.
What dick? What man? They were neither nor had a dick! A vagina! Should they turn into a woman? Wait, no, what if that tiny dragon pulled out a master cock, threaten to butt plunge them, rip open both of their holes and deepthroat them?
No, no, no, they didn't even want to stay human anymore! Staying as any living organism was too dangerous! Rocks! They are going to become rocks! Yes, that's it! No need to stay alive when such a ferocious fate would await them! Hallelujah, they finally overcame their fear of death, because there was something much scarier than death!
Meanwhile, the ferocious monster cock trembled in sight of the true apex predator that was able to inflate its size by at least 10x the norm. What the magicians should fear wasn't the dragon but the damn archvillain that paraded himself as a human!
And the small dragon who didn't have the luck of being turned into a stone but human again had to truly witness what kind of fate doomed over it.
Luckily that insane weapon, shattering dignities, remained sealed behind the greatest inventions of mankind: clothes!
Del very gently held Eric, now human again, in his arms.
"Don't worry, they won't be able to hurt you, it's safe with me,'' Del whispered to Eric and his breath tickled Eric in all the wrong places.
Because the most undignifying thing was, yes, Eric was fucking naked again after each transformation. Luckily, Del covered Eric with a blanket. Still, Eric was very ashamed and wanted to bury himself in the depths of an actual dragon ass. He'd much rather prefer that, than the ambiguous sexual tension in the air here.
But the naughty gods or whatever they proclaimed themselves to be, wanted to see a much more exciting turn of events and so the plot, the system, the universe, it all had to follow it, turn submissive to put the cog of all wheels back into the mechanism to resume on the rightful track.
So, when Del carried little, naked, squishy Eric in his arms, wandering through the maze of the big mansion towards the final destination of all destinations where even death had to make way and stop his persistent, clingy nature- the master bedroom, it happened.
And oh, how it happened. Another blissful misunderstanding, the smallest of the smallest events, yet it soothed the itch of the rotten souls and was winter for the burning flames drowning the rotten read-cough, wannabe gods, with healing effects of coolness.
"Just a bit further," Del said as the inevitable was set into motion by just one wrong step of Del's.
The true final destination that awaited Eric was neither the rejected pursuer- death, although it really wanted to suck Eric dry as well, nor the master bedroom that was really a master... in disguising itself as something it wasn't. No, it was absolutely, without doubt, the damn fucking fate that played Eric like the puppet he was.
The fate that said Eric was meant to be, fated, prophesied or even cursed to be chased, pushed down, hunted, preyed upon, widened, thrust, pumped inside by the magnificent handsome demons too skilled for a normal human to take, too armoured for a normal human to take on and too unfairly balanced for a human to endure.
But, Eric of course wasn't a normal human, he was the pinnacle of mankind. The angel scum is loved by everyone!
And such an angel needed to be violently plunged down by a good, ferocious and horny demon. Oh, how religion was smudged here and the wrath of the real god stroke down a poor author, just how Eric loved it.
"Oh," with a single sound Del realised the fatal mistake. But it was too late.
Too late to escape. Oh no! What to do? There was only one logical choice. Of course, to save the yummy human! As the magic circle under Del's foot was activated, Eric's new doom loomed over him like always.
But was he scared? No. His scum heart blackened from all the hate and he cursed incessantly. How in the fucking world, no, fucking universe, did the great Demon Lord not notice a simple trap set up by these cheeky mages who obviously were courting for bestiality?
But Eric already knew how and why!
Excuse that Demon Lord having nothing but a dick as his brain, his mood was 24/7 horny and he only thought about devouring Eric!
So how could a demon enduring to save his prey of sexual desire for later, notice anything else than that fucking armageddon raising in his damn tight pants!
Eric's face turned red from anger but the next second he found himself flying through the air and heard Del's dramatic final words, "Save yourself. I lo-"
HOOOOLD up! What was this play? What in all of hell was this damn dramatic nonsense here? Even the parody of a trash love story deserved less rotten fruits than this! Eric as an editor didn't take this lying down!
If he was a film critic, all the rotten tomatoes in the world, bring it to me! See how I personally smear this with orangey blood and write the most offensive review ever!
What Eric hated the most in any good or bad stories, were passive characters. To hell with Eric casually thrown in the air and obediently falling to the side pretending to be a damsel in distress, just watching how her wannabe saviour was acting a one-man play by himself, stealing all spotlight.
Listen here passive character and damsel, stop complaining about little to none screen time if you ain't gonna do shit in the first place!
Eric was not having this. So, Eric turned from a victim of plot to an active hunter.
Ahhh... it was truly a phoenix rebirth! Except only poop and dirt clung onto this scummy newborn phoenix. Well, it was the thought that counted, right?
So, doing a 180 no scope turn somersaulting in the middle of the air, Eric, previously a dragon, landed safely on the ground and with an explosive speed-
SWOOOSH jumped at the last second to do this rescue mission of Del and BAM!
Kicked Del, with both of his naked feet and legs, out of the circle.
Of course, in that process that tight cloth that covered Eric's majestic self-defence weapon waiting to be abused, long has given up on life and flew away.
Its final thoughts: How can I, something so small, frail and pitiful withstand the Demon Lord's glare and cursing thoughts? Adios, my scummy editor friend but for my own life, I have to sacrifice your virginity. Go and submit to your fate!
And so voila- butt-naked with a nice ding dong dangling right between his legs, catching the stunned Demon Lord's attention who was on the floor, Eric stood in the bright circle and stared down at Del.
"Eric... you... I"
[Skill activated]
'Not at this time!'
Del: I didn't know you wanted to be **** by me so badly that you saved me! I will take good care of your corpse!
NOOO! FUUCK! Why are you thinking like this? What is such disturbing kink doing here?
Worry about my safety, I-
But of course, the Demon Lord wanted his lover alive but before Del could save Eric, the magic circle finally enveloped Eric and BRRRR-
The biggest fart in the history of the world was let out.