NOVEL SIMPLE Zero
Beach, sunshine and relaxation. As if. This business trip went entirely different than Eric expected! Where was his holiday, his well-deserved time to bask in all the amazed stares of the passerby as he flaunted his perfect body in a bikini?
Although Eric didn't want to admit it, just like with Howl, he gradually got used to this body. But none of Eric's expectations was met! Instead, work upon work waited for him! And Eric hated it!
What the hell were business trips for? Yes, to secretly enjoy oneself! And not to do actual work! You damn loser, doing 9-5 work, holed up all day in an office finally getting a chance to go out?
So fucking take the opportunity! Screw work! When Eric went on 'business trips', rather flaunting himself, he always took his authors along. These room creatures were harder to get out than gum stuck in butt hair, totally encircling the contracting rosy, ashy, shit-coloured opening of a hole.
Although it was only to pretend in front of the clingy and stalkerish media that he was a good boss, though his authors openly tried to murder him, he still let his authors loose on the beautiful trip he spent millions on.
So in a sense, he was still spoiling them and treated them wonderfully. At least in front of hidden lenses. Eric shuddered thinking back on his time on earth, which felt far away now.
He was a really big scum, luckily he came a long way... or maybe not. Eric still bitterly cursed in his heart as he painfully smiled through every paperwork he was forced to do while outside water splashing, sun shining and children's laughter were heard.
Dammit, Eric also wanted to go outside and play. But honestly, Eric didn't dare to harbour any conflicting thoughts that didn't seem to correspond to the plot. Why? Because frighteningly enough the three choices haven't appeared for a long while and Eric preferred this.
He was afraid that anything OOC he did would trigger it. So he cautiously and obediently did his job.
"Oh, your beautiful assistant is as perfect as always!" Even enduring lecherous eyes and lustful mouths harassing him. Eric only continued to smile as he stood next to the CEO, his ML, who obviously wasn't pleased about the compliments towards 'his girl', and watched how their business partners made themselves comfortable in the meeting room with horniness spread all around them.
Curse these 2D flat characters! Yknow what else is flat? Your ass that can't get your tiny wiener up! Moving uncomfortably, Eric hated the tight skirt he was condemned to wear.
"When's Mr Rial coming?" the CEO changed the topic and his fingers impatiently tapped on the table.
"Oh," the other guys quickly turned nervous, although this was their company, why did it feel the CEO of another company was in control?
Hold up, why was he even sitting on our CEO's desk? Two guys turned to the guy in the middle who seemingly was the CEO of this company and sweated.
Eric only sighed at this obvious plot play! If this wasn't to show off how influential, dominant and overbearing the ML was, then Eric would gladly offer his blood up to feed all the lusting vampires disguised as moths, pardon horny men, pardon things, not worthy to be described.
Ah, Mr Rial, the CEO of one the other biggest companies in this world, your biggest rival and I'm here only as an exposition character with absolute bad writing!
"How about we head to the conference room?" to escape the awkward silence after realising that their guest has become their pseudo boss, all three insignificant minor side characters stood up and quickly beckoned the ML to follow them.
Eric already knew where this was going. How could he not? The damn rival was going to appear! What else could this mean than it being the second ML or typical sleaze character that wants to take the FL away from ML but is not actually being serious about her and is only plot convenience to bring FL and ML together after cold ML realised how jealous he is when his woman is taken away, and all the other cliche points that make one roll their eyes over and over again?
The only thing Eric had going for himself apart from his misfortune, was that he was extraordinarily good at his job, but as he suspected, not even this was an advantage. Because it was exactly that he was too good at his job, he had to be stuck to the CEO every single second during work time, if after the CEO's preference even 24/7.
Now Eric found himself at this point, this maybe-able to-to-avoid- situation where he was going to meet the ML's rival. Would it go well? OOOOOf course not.
Eric blanked over and over again, he could even make a crash with a lagging computer jealous. As all the sadistic cliche deities wanted, the second Eric stepped into the room and the overly handsome, manly, just oozing of pheromones godly alpha rival sat there, his eyes were hungrily glued on Eric.
Not like the rival didn't have all the women in the world raking on his bed begging to be rammed by his extraordinarily big cock, but he had to be enchanted by this FL who was just another fish in this sea full of gorgeous and beautiful bitches, pardon fishes.
And obviously, this was caught by the ML who wasn't pleased at all about this, he instantly blocked the rival's view on 'his woman', "Mr Rial, despite being from such an esteemed company, your manners are lacking, huh?"
Stop with these catfights! This isn't high society for females to prey on each other to survive! Fuck, stop this ridiculous word act!
"If it ain't the CEO of (my biggest rival company whose name I should know but pretend I don't know, who I was supposed to meet and only lingers around someone else's company for fun) what brings you here?"
At this Eric couldn't help but let his face fall, battle of veins were raging across his impeccable face to the point it seemed like worms crawling under a flesh mask. Quite disgusting. Luckily none of these stupid suitors took notice of it or this might have changed into a horror genre.
"Since you pretend not to know why I'm here, we don't need to talk business," ML crossed his arms and coldly glanced at the rival. The rival only mockingly agreed, "Fine by me, but leave your hot assistant with me."
Yet neither made a move to leave or break their meeting off. The three bystanders were just eating watermelon at this childish circus playing in front of them. These two most desired men in the world were literally fighting over a simple assistant!
To be fair she was pretty enough, but if it was them they would get with all the actresses, rich pretty daughters of influential families and all the other women too good for them.
But this was exactly why they were such small people in this world compared to these two big shots fighting over a toy.
And this toy? Only stood there and smiled! Wasn't it obvious she enjoyed it? Maybe they had a change as well? The melon eaters threatened to change into hole diggers, which the ML obviously noticed. With an instant glare and dangerously low voice he said, "Get out now!"
And so, the three pitiful minor side characters were chased out of the room of the building they owned and were in charge of! What was this logic and unfairness? Being a small person really wasn't convenient in this world.
After the melon eaters were shooed away, it became eerily quiet. Eric was perplexed about this until he realised, these two big shots were such childish gorillas it couldn't even be described in words? STOP battling it out with your eyes!
What the fuck does moving your eyebrow once mean? And why the hell do you wink and move your eyebrow twice? Oh my goodness, fucking enlighten me what the hell it means when you smack your lips and wriggle your eyebrows?
Are you sure you two aren't fucking flirting with each other? I told you time and time again, stop changing the genre. Eric couldn't stand it anymore, he had to do something about their ridiculousness that was violating his eyes to an extreme point!
"How about we-" but Eric couldn't go far as both males had the blazing audacity to silence him, "Babe, be quiet for a second. This is important.''
Ok, ok, all imposing ML who the fuck do you call babe huh? Who the fuck are you telling to be quiet? What's more important than me the fucking FL? I dare you to say it again!
This time Eric really couldn't take it. He wanted to explode and set everything straight but he should've known it. His OOC act triggered the cursed experience he wanted to have buried under the anguished cries of all smashed together systems.
Option 1: Perform a strip dance on the table
Option 2: Rub yourself against the table and cum
Option 3: Perform 69 with the rival.
Fuck, are you kidding me? Why are the choices getting more and more sexual? Why? Wasn't there an option to just go and die? Eric rather died than do any of these! In this case, option 1 seemed the most harmless but just as the other choices this only fucking aroused both tigers in slumbering that already had one eye open.
Eric didn't want to be pounced on by two tigers! Why the hell did he have to have two holes? Why do women have this curse? Maybe some loved DP, but Eric didn't! Never! Ever! Screw all these theories and yes, I do see you sneaky countdown.
What are you gonna do, counting down? Are you going to pick the worst options for me if I don't? Do you think I'm so fucking afraid of your zeros? Go and zero yourself! You're the biggest zero. But in the end, Eric was the 0. After all, he was the one with the hole.