But for a Slime

Soon, Joe and the sword and shield fighter settled into an exchange of blows, and now that Joe had become aware of it with the dual-blades-man, he quickly saw that the sword and board was following the exact same patterns, also repeated and perfectly executed but poorly implemented, as if both men never expected a counterstrike of some kind. Joe’s recognition of the patterns came much faster simultaneous with his analysis and this time Joe committed himself a bit more strongly with a counter. Its efficacy truly shocked Joe as he found his spear embedded into the throat of the shocked swordsman, his mouth gaping in utter surprise before sliding to the floor and collapsing. He was dead almost before he hit the floor.

By this time, the dual-blades-man had been able to climb to his feet and turned towards Joe. Although his right arm lay draped limply at his side, the man still stubbornly clung to the blade, his right fist refusing to let go of the blade. He’s desperate now… dangerous! Joe squared himself and prepared himself for the man’s attack. By this time, the next spark had arrived and was getting close enough to hassle Joe. The man had seen it coming so edged away to the side. The two stood frozen for some time, Joe edging back more and more so that the spark couldn’t get him, and he worried what he could do. When the spark had him fully pinned in the hallway, the last man turned quickly and began sprinting raggedly away from Joe.

Joe leapt backwards away from the spark and reared, his arm whipping back to front even as he swept the spear after the retreating figure. His spear flashed through the air, passing through the spark in the hallway and hammering into the rear of the running dual-swordsman. The spear did not hit true, slightly off to the side and was not a killing blow. But it had hit hard enough that the man stumbled forward too far and came into the clutches of another spark. The man spasmed and fell face first into the dirt, spear thrust directly into the air and passing into the body of the spark that had killed him. The spark began its screeching death cries as the spear, buried in the body of the last enemy, pierced directly upwards into the spark’s body and left it grounded. The electrical flow slithered down the shaft and skittered across the shaking body of the dying man, sizzling and burning the man. The man did not last long, but the spark took another ten or fifteen minutes to die.

Joe now had another spark to deal with, but no way to kill it. He had only one spoon spear left, and the ‘handle’ he usually used was buried in the back of the man in the room. Garnedell had the other contraption consisting of the two spoon spears tied together. There was nothing he could hold the current spoon spear with, and he struggled with his options, uncertain. He had the rope, but no other spear to tie it to. I can’t hold on to it. That would be stupid, but if I could… Joe looked at the ground, hoping for seams in the floor where he could bury the spoon spear vertically, then just walk the spark into the spear, but the floor proved remarkably smooth and any seams were too small to offer adequate purchase for his spear, especially with its strangely shaped spearhead. Huh… Gotta use the wall… maybe I’ll…

Joe began edging towards the wall, carefully looking over the wall and ground, studying the surfaces for any seams or grooves that might offer the slight grip his spear would need to stay upright without too much difficulty. Thankfully, the spark moved slowly enough that Joe was able to get his spear lined up and pick the perfect spot for his ambush. He kept himself pressed hard against the wall and soon the spark was riding the wall towards him, but cautious enough to keep it’s tendrils from striking the wall. Huh… rudimentary knowledge … or just survival, I guess? Stay away from grounded objects… Kind of important for a living lightning ball.

The spark reached where Joe was hoping and held the spoon spear almost vertically with its butt on the floor before releasing it and letting it slowly fall to the wall. It passed through the body of the spark and bounced on the wall before finally resting. Don’t fall. Don’t fall! Don’t FALL! The spear bounced once or twice but stayed in place, although it began to slip a bit. Cursing under his breath, Joe glanced for options. Something wood… something wood! Ah! My wood spears! Joe grabbed one of his wooden spears and stopped the slipping spoon spear and was able to get it propped against the wall stably, the haft of the spear passing directly through the sparks body, grounding and killing it slowly. Ha! Did it! Really need to make sure I have back up spears or things… should be… Joe’s thought processes came to a stuttering halt! Seriously? Am I an idiot! My wooden spears! Joe stared at the bundle of wooden spears laid against the wall where they’d dropped it to prepare for the fight, as well as the spear in his hand he’d used to keep his spoon spear propped against the wall. That was just… dumb! Really!

Joe sighed, shaking his head but looked towards dying sparks. Still got work to do! Both the sparks he’d caught were still unable to escape their traps, the spears just statically held there. Huh… So we don’t have to hold them! Joe watched for another several minutes before slipping around the corner to see Garnedell holding his own well enough, his spark shuddering under Garnedell’s frenzied wooden spear thrusts and his grounding spoon spear. Joe smiled and offered his thumbs up with a great smile.

“OK! Bad men dead!”

Garnedell smiled, his relief palpable and pride visible, “Ha! Good Zhoe!”

Joe smiled and turned back to clear out the room. Gonna have to take care of the bodies. But we can finish the sparks first. Huh… maybe? Joe pulled out to wooden spears and held them in hand, measuring them against the spoon spear’s length. While the measurement wasn’t exact, Joe felt it was close enough and considered his plan even as he began stabbing and slashing the shivering spark grounded on his propped up spoon spear. Two wooden spears and a grounding spear had the spark dead very quickly and Joe quickly went to work, although he did take a second to ground a spark gem to dust as this one seemed to still be able to drop one despite Joe’s wild attacking of the wooden spears cum clubs.

Taking the spoon spear and the two wooden spears, he tied them into a poor version of a tripod. He practiced a bit, settling the spoon spear on the ground carefully before propping it up with his wooden spears. Gotta be able to drop the metal spear in place in the spark’s body while maneuvering it only with the wooden spears! Joe practiced a few times and found himself able to do it pretty easily before he turned to look out at twenty or so sparks still infesting the room. Joe sighed a bit, not really wanting to clear out the whole room one by one, since it often took close to an hour or so, but prepared to do just that when a though hit him. They’re balls of lightning! They’re energy. They don’t really have … bodies, right? I could just… stack them all up on top of each other and then ground them all at the same time! Joe smiled and quickly ran through the room, swinging his spear through each of the sparks before circling around carefully to drag all the sparks into tight quarters. He soon had them clustered together quite well and then setup his grounding tripod, holding the wooden spears almost like dowsing rods while he dragged the metal spoon spear through a spark at a time, grounding it and beginning the long slow process of killing them. As they were grounded, they sucked onto the shaft of the spear, held in place by electricity’s natural desire for ground, and he was able to slowly drag his spear from spark to spark, grounding them all on the same spear shaft. He soon had twenty or so madly sparking… sparks… sparking sparks… really? That’s just.. genius… seriously He wrapped up the sparks into a single area, then carefully set his wooden spears down as legs of a tripod, keeping the metal spear carefully centered on the quivering dying sparks. He took a step back and smiled at his handiwork before nodding and heading on to a much more gruesome task. Gotta clean up the bodies, now… Really really don’t wanna have to drag them back to the entrance… but I can’t leave them here… the stink would be horrible.

Joe then turned to look at the three he’d killed at the other end of the hallway: some kind of distance or range fighters, one of them a bowman. But when Joe arrived, he was shocked to find the bodies gone. Their property was still there, but it seemed to be shimmering out of existence, almost like it was fading away to transparency. He looked through some of the stuff, a bit confused but didn’t really find anything that he thought would be particularly useful especially considering his excellent weaponry. He did pick up the packs of two of the attackers and his arrows though before returning to check out the other three fighters. The one melee fighter he’d shot was also gone, only weapons and armor left behind. Joe considered taking the armor, but figured he had more than enough money to buy a tailored set anyway. And I don’t feel like answering the questions from selling it!

The sword and shield fighter was still in the hallway where he’d made his last stand, but even as he walked towards it, he watched with some shock as the body faded away. Any soft armors collapsed with the body gone. Only armor and weaponry left behind, although a couple rings the man had been wearing were already shimmering away, transparency seeming to grow even as they seemed to be close to beginning their fade out of existence. Huh… wonder what’s happening? And why are some things fading faster than others… Is it size? The rings first… wait, but the bodies seemed to all go first? Maybe Garnedell could… Joe shook his head in frustration as he realized the question would be almost impossible with his current linguistic skills. I’ll just have to keep studying, but I can’t stay a linguist this whole time! It does help me learn… but still…

Right about that time, Joe turned back to retrieve his good spear, thrusting quickly into the dying spark over the burning corpse of the last fighter. The spark seemed to die much quicker than he was expecting, and he was able to pull his good spear out. While he inspected it carefully for damage, he heard Garnedell come out of the hallway before a panicked shout came to his ears.

“Zhoe! Zhoe… Kulu run now! Run! Run!”

Joe turned to Garnedell with some surprise and guarded tension as he sought out the danger but found Garnedell pointing behind him. He whipped around then stopped in shock. Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Joe stared in fearful awe as he saw the twenty sparks all vibrating in their death throes on the spear, but they weren’t what they’d been before. There were two absolutely enormous sparks that seemed to be in agitated struggle as they writhed against their prison. Well… of course they don’t have bodies… but then, if they have gems like the slimes, and you merge them together. What do you think will happen, you moron! There were twenty there! SHIT! Shit shit shit shit!

Joe turned to Garnedell and beckoned him forward, “Garnedell, come fast!”