But for a Slime

Chapter Thirty Eight

Joe woke a bit early in the morning, the long hours of sleep finally getting to him as he seemed to have recovered from all the sleep deprivation from surfing the net late at night. He woke just before false dawn and lay in bed. He rest had been, again, incredibly restful. He lounged for a good ten minutes or so but then soon grew bored and the darkness left him with few options so he flipped open his status to while away the time. He looked through his status with some boredom, not really looking for anything but to waste time. The new internet, check your status window!

Finally, he sighed and decided to get some work done, and spent some time playing with job guidance while he still had it. He tried to think of as many useful questions as he could but ultimately found most of the useful questions revealing almost nothing. So Joe explored the foolish, asking questions that were trivial to utterly ridiculous.

Is there a job to make cheese? No.

Is there a job for sex? Yes. Joe actually guffawed at that response, shocked but actually not surprised.

Is there a painting job? Yes.

Can I play sports well? Yes.

Is there a job for leadership? Uncertain. Why uncer… wait!

Uh… is there a job for leading groups? Yes.

Hmm… is there a job for leading politically? Yes. OK! Small group leadership vs national level leadership… got it.

Is there a job for sleeping? No.

Is there a job for dancing? Yes.

How many jobs can I… wait… yes no questions! Um… Is there a limit to how many jobs I can have? Yes.

Well, crap…ooh… wait! Of course. I can only have one job at a time, uh…let’s see… Oh! Can I have more than one job active at a time? No.

Suck! OK… no multi-classing I guess? Maybe… Ooh… Is there a job to let me have more jobs? No response came and Joe became a little excited. He spent the next several minutes trying to reword the question but could get nothing from the system except a ‘no’ or no response at all. He soon became bored and moved on to another question.

Is there a limit to how many times I can change my job? No.

Can a job help me see well? Yes.

Can a job help me think well? Yes. Huh… ok, that’s interesting? Might be a good think to look for, but my IQ is already quite good.

Can a job help me create better? Yes. Oooh! Wait… crafter jobs.. duh… never mind.

Can I increase my life expectancy with this system? Uncertain. Joe stopped then sat up with jerky swiftness, surprise overwhelming him as shock settled in. Joe actually trembled a bit as he started his next questions.

Can a job help me live longer? Uncertain.

Can a job skill help me live longer? Uncertain.

Can a stat help me live longer? Outside skill parameters.

Of course! This is job guidance. Stats must be somewhere else? Somehow else? Joe felt a bit of frustration but the responses seemed to indicate that there was some way to help him live longer. Unless it’s just talking about a healing skill?

Can the system increase a healthy person’s life longer than average for his species? Uncertain.

Joe actually felt a bit of jittery excitement as he considered this, surprise coming to him. Even if the answer was uncertain, that meant that there was a variation or possibility where the answer was yes. Only responses that were known would give a no or a yes. Somehow, he wasn’t asking correctly to find out the answer, but there was something that could affect his lifespan. He spent the next bit of time fiddling with the question trying to find an answer, but was never able to find anything definitive by the time Garnedell had awakened.

When Garnedell sat up in bed, Joe rose with him and despite the low glow coming from the horizon, the small window let in almost no light and the two set up some candles for light. Garnedell settled into practicing his forms and Joe helped him as well, offering tips and adjustments to his form. The early morning passed quickly this way and Joe soon grew too hungry and bored to continue sitting. He asked Garnedell if they could head down for their meal, and the kid relented, running out to check to see if the two siblings were willing to join them for breakfast.

The four settled in around a table in the common room and called for their meal. It was only a few moments later that Joe was surprised to find the priest of knowledge, Kukurnal, had joined them as well. The five settled into an enjoyable conversation dominated mostly by the priest’s questions or pseudo debates with Joe which Joe didn’t spend too much effort on because he didn’t want to offend the sensibilities of other cultures. His understanding of basic human rights, morality, social responsibility, and civics really didn’t match anything here. The way Garnedell reacted to his attempts at equality, the sibling’s general distrust and fear of him, and Kukurnal’s disbelief and shock at many of Joe’s claims left Joe flummoxed. There were too many social differences, too much missing knowledge, or expectations that didn’t match.

There meal ended amicably enough with the priest even more excited and animated by the discussion. They left to go to the temple square. Time to deal with the lizard kids’ problems. Their trip through the city was quick enough and was soon bordering on boredom as it became routine. When they arrived at the temple square, Joe found the usurer already there with body guards and a new stranger that seemed distinctly different. A hired flunky? A lawyer of some kind… no… he’s too… aware… he’s got some kind of combat awareness… experience. The man’s eyes seemed to bore in on Joe; a piercing examination of Joe which Joe actually started to find uncomfortable.

Kukurnal actually walked at Joe’s side, still engaging him in conversation that Joe was now basically ignoring although Kukurnal stuttered to a stop when he noticed the group they were approaching. Garnedell and the lizard kin stayed behind them as they approached. The usurer quickly stepped forward with an outstretched hand and friendly smile. Joe had long decided that there was no point to geniality, as the usurer would no longer be friendly at the end of the day.

“It’s wonderful to see you again. As I said yesterday, My name’s…”

“Asshole. Nice to meet you asshole. Now please shut up and wait for me. I’ll be right back,” Joe simply walked past the man without stopping as he headed on towards the temples, “Hey, Garnedell. Where’s the temple of justice? I’ll need to bring a priest of Baldur… or a priestess.”

Garnedell quickly jogged up after him while Kukurnal and the lizard siblings stuttered a bit before also jogging past the usurer’s group to catch up to Joe. Joe continued on following Garnedell’s direction as he shouted back towards the usurer, “Hey, asshole, just wait there. I’ll be right back.”

As Joe walked away, he heard the usurer turn to his group, confused anger threading through his voice, “Asshole? What does that even mean?”

Joe guffawed at the man’s response as they headed into the temple of Baldur. It turned out to be one of the first ones he had gone to when he arrived at the city so he took the chance to change his job to commoner while also asking for a priest or priestess to witness for him. He figured his request for a witness would trump the oddity of his changing a class once again. At least, I hope so!

They returned a few moments later to complete the charade. Joe walked up to the group once again and this time the usurer was quite a bit less friendly. The man still tried to put on a façade of geniality but Joe could easily see his patience was running out.

When Joe finally felt ready to begin their confrontation, he headed towards the ursurer, Garnedell and the siblings following behind him. But when the two groups came together, Joe heard several grunts of pain behind him. Whirling to look behind him, Joe found the three younger kids crushed to the ground while the priests were looking on with a bit of astonishment. Kukurnal himself showed a bit of disgruntled anger but did nothing to resolve the conflict. Joe looked back to the usurer’s group, anger tightening his face as he noticed that all, save for the new mercenary, were looking at him with a bit of fear. The mercenary himself had quickly settled into a readied stance, without fear but definitely a sense of preparation for violence.

Joe looked to the ursurer and spat out in anger, “Stop this now!”

The usurer ignored Joe and looked to the mercenary, “I thought you said he was Blind!”

Being ignored didn’t help Joe’s emotional calm and he pulled out his spear, “When I say stop, I mean stop! Now!”

The mercenary said nothing, ignoring the usurer but seemed to increase his focus on Joe. Joe noted both the mercenary’s increased focus on him and the quick interchange, marking it as something to ask Garnedell later. Blind… obviously doesn’t mean my eyes. They gotta be able to notice my eyes are fine… must be something else… Add another question to the list. Joe looked back and forth between the two and decided he had to bluff a bit. He couldn’t reveal weakness here, it really didn’t seem like a good idea. Finally settling his eye on the usurer, he went with pitying mockery especially given how fearful the whole group seemed to be.

“Really? Really… this is what you had in mind? Maybe it would be effective against a couple of weaklings…”

The usurer grew even more disturbed, glancing to the mercenary. Joe turned his eyes to follow, hardening his eyes as he looked at the mercenary the usurer had hired, “As for you… right now, you’re just a hired hand of idiot over here. But if my apprentice and my friends are still on the ground when I look back, you turn from a hired hand to a personal enemy. Make your choice!”

Joe finished his short speech with a simple but flashy spear flourish that spun around his body and flared in front of him as a spin before slapping back into his hands ready once again to thrust at the mercenary. The mercenary flinched a bit at Joe’s comments but his eye’s widened significantly when he saw Joe’s easy way with the spear, his breath coming rapidly for a few moments before he finally stood up and backed away, “Of course, sir.”

Joe nodded, giving those behind a chance to rise and he stepped to one side while also turning sideways. This allowed him to keep most of his attention on the antagonistic group while he caught sight of Garnedell, Zilnek, and Kilniara out of the corner of his eyes. Garnedell had already stood back up, comfortably back on his feet. The two lizard kin were still breathing heavily, however, and had their hands on their knees.

“You OK, Garnedell?”

“I’m fine, Joe. His Presence was strong, but I recovered easily enough.” OK… something new… presence… blind… got it!

“Zilnek? Kilniara?”

“We are good, master Joe.”

Joe hid his grimace at being called master and looked back to the usurer, “Is this charade done?”

The usurer looked to Joe and quickly shook his head in agitation. Joe stared at him for several moments. He then looked away, turning to the mercenary, “Are we done here? Or do you still want to stand against us?”

The mercenary quickly back away with subtle bow of the head, “Apologies, master. I had no intention of offending. I’ll be…”

“If you had no intention of offending, you would have never used your Presence.”

The mercenary froze, uncertain of how to respond, his apology cut off. Joe let the uncomfortable silence continue for a few moments before he renewed his chastisement, “You attacked simply because you thought yourself stronger. You had every intention of offending, especially the weak. Cowards only attack the weak… Strange…”

The mercenary reddened, anger simmering but fear trapping him in uncertainty. Joe simply allowed his observations to come to an end before he feigned seeing the man still there, “You’re still here? I thought you were going to leave?”

The man grimaced and turned away, angry. Joe watched him go and sighed. Well, another enemy. I have stop pissing people off… but it’s so hard when they piss me off so easily! Joe grimaced himself and turned back to the usurer then stopped, calling out to the mercenary.

“Hey, mercenary dude.”

The mercenary stopped and looked back at Joe, anger quickly wiped from his face as he stared back with a decidedly neutral look.

“Look, man. That was harsh, although you have to admit that you pretty much just attacked without any provocation.”

The man blinked a bit, anger coming back to his face a bit before a jerked his head with some anger. Joe nodded before he continued, “But I was a pretty big jerk with what I said. I apologize. I’m just pissed at the usurer back there, not you. Willing to accept my apology?” Joe held out a hand as he offered his apology.

The mercenary actually blinked with some surprise before nodding cautiously and shaking Joe’s hand with the odd sliding caressing manner of the people here. Joe withheld his unpleasant reaction and smiled instead, taking the handshake for what it was. Joe smiled and turned back to confront the usurer. He came upon them and then looked to Kilniara and Zilnek.

“Hey, kids. Mind telling the priest of justice what happened here? Explain everything from beginning to end. Oh, and priests, if you hear a lie, please make sure to stop them and confront them.”