Chronicles of the True Wizard

Sitting in a chair next to the aisle, in the very back row, Felix looked forwards respectfully. He did his best to only occasionally glance down at the child next to him who was having trouble sitting still. Given the couple of hours that had already passed, Felix was impressed and had to clench his teeth to refrain from smirking now that the kid's energy had hit a breaking point. Felix glanced upwards at the sky to distract himself and marveled at the beautiful weather.

I almost expected it to be overcast with a light drizzle… given the circumstances. Guess that's jus-

Hearing his name, Felix interrupted his train of thought and nodded. He rose from his chair and walked down the aisle and up to the podium, nodding to the previous speaker with a solemn smile on his face as he passed them. Standing behind the podium, Felix looked outwards at the crowd as he waited respectfully for the previous speaker to reclaim their seat. They took their seat and those sitting next to them gently patted them on the back and whispered into their ear. Just one seat down from them Felix made brief eye contact with a man who was having trouble not glowering at Felix. Luckily, his sunglasses made it unclear whether or not Felix had actually seen him so Felix simply slowly looked away, as if he hadn't.

Yesterday, Felix had thought about writing out what he was going to say so he would have something to recite but ultimately decided against it. He didn't want it to seem too robotic but he also didn't want to get stuck with nothing coming to mind. Instead, he decided upon writing out some general points and structure then just filling in the blanks on the spot. His improvisation was always good enough for his teachers and professors in school, he just hoped the nature of the situation here and now didn't change that. He briefly flitted his eyes over to the man who was glowering at him, his face full of anger, resentment and jealousy. He could guess at why, and just hoped that they weren't right.

He didn't even necessarily want to do this himself, but this wasn't something you could refuse. He was specifically called on, by name, and though he didn't care much what anyone thought, he didn't think it would be right to say no. He didn't even want to attend at all, but that too, seemed wrong. Luckily this would be the extent of his participation, once he was done with this, he could go home. His eyes unintentionally glanced at the child who was now attempting a handstand on his chair, in the back row so that no one else noticed, causing Felix to unintentionally grin. Catching himself almost immediately, he quickly turned his grin into a warm, nostalgic smile, or at least tried to.

"I first met David back in high school, though it was just in passing. I'm a bit of a loner, if you didn't already know, so I didn't really talk to him or anyone else. It was simply by chance that we ended up attending the same post secondary institution, even luckier for me that we ended up in the same class for our first period. I didn't recognize him at first, he wasn't really anyone I would have said I knew at the time. He immediately recognized me though, even though I barely remembered his face, let alone his name. He sat next to me, right at the back next to the aisle, not because he recognized me, but because he wanted to sit in the same place I did. The seats would cause the least disturbance and be the easiest for us to leave."

"That was one of just a couple of classes I attended that entire term and yet, as soon as a group project was ever proposed, David came right to me. To this day, I don't know why. Maybe he came to me first out of pity, maybe he really wanted me in particular for some reason. Whatever it was, for the rest of the year we paired up in every class we shared. At first I didn't mind, but I didn't overly care. As time went on, I came to really appreciate this arrangement. I came to dislike a lot of people I met, most of them even. David… David was different though, I came to really like him."

"The next year, we decided to become roommates, an arrangement that continued throughout the rest of our schooling. Our partnership in group activities continued, though the overlap between the classes we both took shrank as the years passed. He attended parties and made friends, went out often and socialized. I did not. I spent all of my time in my dorm, enjoying the solitude. Contrary to what you might expect, given the dichotomy between our lives, we didn't grow apart but rather became good friends. In fact, he was my best friend, though given how social he was I doubt I held the same title for him."

"After school, I moved across the country and settled down. I didn't really make any effort to keep in touch with anyone, but it didn't matter. David was more than happy to carry the friendship on his back. Over the years he flew out multiple times to see me, popping in for visits, taking me out to dinner and keeping up with me and my life. I knew about his life too. I know he had gotten married, he told me about it when he was thinking of proposing. He didn't bother inviting me to the wedding though because he knew I didn't enjoy those kinds of things. He was considerate like that. He talked to me about his kids but he never pressured me to meet anyone."

"I liked him because he was smart, but that was far from his only trait. He was also considerate, in a way where he knew what other people felt, what they wanted and what they needed and did his best to accommodate. I often felt like the devil on his shoulder, advising him to be more selfish when he only thought about those around him. That's just who he was though. To this day, I don't know why he liked me or spent so much time with me but I am extraordinarily lucky he did so. He kept himself in my life, and in turn kept me in his"

"So when he asked me to speak at his funeral, I was confused and honored but above all, nervous. It's not something I felt often, but I was nervous because I was worried I wouldn't be able to say anything that would truly convey his character. How do you describe a man that meant so much to so many, was selfless to a fault and considerate beyond measure? Well, you do your best and take solace in the fact that everyone else in attendance, already knows what you're trying to say. You've all known him to some extent or another which makes my job easy, all I have to do is talk about him and let your own memories of him rise to the surface."

He thought about calling for a moment of silence but realized how torturous that would be for the child that was already struggling to sit still, so decided against it.

"Those memories, hold on to them. I'd bet they remain some of the happiest you have for some time to come and I know I will cherish mine until the day I die. Thank you."

Bowing his head, Felix left the stage, marking the end of the event as a whole. People slowly rose from their seats, some stretching other's making their way over to offer their condolences. Felix walked towards the aisle but the man who had glowered at him earlier, a man he had never met before, walked up and stopped him. His aggressive expression was completely gone and instead his face was covered in an amalgamation of tears and snot. Before Felix could stop him, the man pulled him into a hug and cried on his shoulder for a few seconds.

The man pulled away from the hug and nodded to Felix, "Good speech."

Felix nodded with a polite smile then walked past him. Instead of heading back to his seat, Felix headed straight for the street so he could pick up a ride and head back to his hotel. Once again he was stopped, this time by a much furrier and more welcome interruption. David's border collie, Ace jumped into Felix's arms, completely uncaring that it's size might be an issue for some people. Felix's foot fell back a step to stop himself from falling as he reached down to hold Ace on his chest while he scratched his head. Ace's tongue lapped at his face for a few moments before Felix sat down against a nearby tree placing Ace in his lap.

He wanted to leave but he also didn't want Ace to try and follow him so instead Felix just sat there and enjoyed the moment. About half of the people in attendance started getting into their cars or calling themselves rides while the other half offered their condolences to David's partner. It took them a few minutes to break away, but once they did, David's partner walked right over to Felix. He expected them to take Ace from him but instead they sat down against the tree next to him and casually laid a hand on their own dog.

Felix looked back at the crowd they had escaped and smirked when he saw them at a loss for what to do now.

"Shouldn't you get back to them? Seems like there are more people that want to talk to you."

"Fuck'em. It's a bunch of people I barely know that just want to offer their condolences. I appreciate it, but I don't really want to hear it right now. Everyone we were actually close to is already heading back to our house now for dinner. You're welcome to join us if you'd like? You can finally meet the kids."

"No thank you, I appreciate the offer. Don't let me keep you, if you need to get home to your kids."

"Nah, those guys are over every weekend. Jacob, you already met and the rest of them, they're closer than aunts and uncles to the kids. They have keys and they can let themselves in, they'll be fine."

"Who's Jacob?"

"I saw you guys hugging after your speech?"

"Oh. Yeah… He kind of just walked up and hugged me. I thought he hated me. When I walked up to the podium he glowered at me, I assume he wanted to be the one up there?"

"Yeah. He was mad when he heard David had specifically requested you because he'd never heard of you. He's a big softie though, started crying almost immediately."

"You didn't want to bring your kids?"

"Too young. You saw the kid trying desperately to sit still next to you? I didn't want that to happen. Before I get back to them, I think I want to just talk with you, reminisce if that's alright."

Felix nodded, "Of course. Is that why you sent Ace over to stop me from leaving?"

"You noticed that?"

Felix just shrugged, "David used to use the same trick."

"That's where I got the idea from… Every time someone tells me their sorry, it just reminds me he's gone. Instead I want to reminisce about his life, maybe even learn something new about him."

"I'm sure you know him better than I do at this point."

"Maybe. You've known him longer though… You know he never told me he was sick."

"Yeah. He stayed with me for a week or so when he found out. He said he had to figure out what he wanted and didn't want to worry and stress you. We talked it through many times, though I was mostly there to listen. In the end he decided not to tell you and to instead make the time he had left the best he could. Then, when he finally succumbed to his illness, he would disappear into the night, like a superhero. With the inevitable looming over your heads, he didn't think it would be as easy to enjoy yourselves."

"Yeah, he used to say you were the most emotionally stable person he had ever met. That no matter what happened, you'd be fine. I wish I could do that. When I found out, I was mad, at first. I think it was just shock. I hadn't noticed anything and I was mad at myself for that. He also didn't tell me so I was mad at him too. Looking back, I think he did the right thing. The last few months were the best of my entire life. At the time, I stupidly thought that he had changed his mind about doing the things I've always wanted to. When he finally… I was mad he wasn't more selfish."

"He said he realized he would get more out of making you happy than completing whatever nonsense was on his own bucket list."

"Of course he did." A couple of tears trailed down their face as they continued, "He timed it well too. Had conversations with the kids, warned them. When it finally happened, they ended up taking it better than I did."

"He also didn't want to waste money on medical expenses and leave you broke in the end, he wanted you to understand that. The doctors said anything they could do would give him a few weeks at most and he decided the price was just too high. He told me it was between stalling the inevitable and his family living comfortably for the rest of their lives. Wasn't exactly a hard choice."

"I don't agree with that decision, but I get it. I hope I would make the same decision, in the same situation. Anyways, thanks for being there for him, when I couldn't."

"Of course."

They wiped the tears from their eyes then returned their hand to the back of Ace's head, scratching behind his ears.

"I heard your own dog passed away recently. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thanks."

"You planning on getting another sometimes soon?"

"Sometime soon, yeah. Not sure when. Haven't thought about it that much but maybe in a month or two."

"It's funny. David used to say Ace liked you the best even though he lived with us and saw you a couple times a year. I didn't think it was possible, didn't totally believe him. What's the secret? Bacon in your pocket?"

"Not quite. I don't think he likes me more… maybe he just doesn't see me as much so it just looks like that."

"Maybe… I heard your parents died when you were in school with David. I'm sorry to hear that."

Felix shrugged, "Is what it is. They set me up financially, with their life insurance policies so it ended up being sort of ok. I wasn't just abandoned."

"He told me… Do you still think about them? Miss them?"

"No, not really. I think about them occasionally and I miss them but not often and not much. More importantly, not the way you're asking. It's not a sad thing anymore, it's been too long and that's just not me. I'm sure you'll get there too one day, it might take you a bit longer but you'll be able to look back with fondness instead of just… heart ache."

"So you were just born as an emotional rock? It's not something I can learn? Sorry if that's-"

"I'm sure you could learn it too, but yeah I was born this way."

"Did you cry…"

"David or my parents?"

They shrugged, "Either?"

Felix hung his head, "No. It helps that I was very prepared for both. I knew what was coming."

"Do you ever cry?"

"Yeah, sometimes. Maybe I'm just used to death at this point."

They nodded then sat in silence for a few minutes while Ace rolled over to provide access to his belly.

"It really didn't bother you that he would just show up randomly? I heard you preferred being left alone and I know he didn't call ahead or even tell you he was coming sometimes."

"Nah, I didn't mind."

"Does anyone else in your life do that? Family, a girlfriend or boyfriend maybe?"

"Just him. There isn't really anyone else anyways."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Felix shrugged, "I prefer it that way. As for dating, I just haven't found the right person."

"Well, now you'll be alone and uninterrupted forever I guess."

"Yeah… You know I'm still gonna miss him, right?"

They nodded, "Me too." After wiping their nose on their sleeve, they continued, "So what did you guys do together? Tell me about him."

The two of them continued to shower Ace in attention while they reminisced about David's life and his part in their lives. By the time they had finished, everyone else at the funeral had long since given up on offering their condolences and had left. The two of them along with Ace were the only ones visible in the cemetery, sitting in the shade of a large tree as the sun started to lower itself towards the horizon.

"So what do you do at home all the time, always alone, if you don't mind?"

"Not at all. Mostly reading, watching tv. Go to the gym every day. I enjoy learning so sometimes I spend a few months teaching myself something."

"David used to say when you got into something, you would be absorbed. Is it true you read a 6 million word book series non stop in a month?"

Felix shrugged, "It wasn't quite a month, just over three weeks if I recall correctly. Otherwise yeah, I spent 14 hours a day reading for over three weeks."

"I guess you didn't get bored or tired of it part way through?"

"Not really. I mean I wouldn't have done it if the series sucked or was boring."

"I guess that makes sense…"

After a few moments of silence while David's partner tried to think of anything else they wanted to ask, the two of them rose to their feet, carefully placing Ace on the ground.

They offered their hand to Felix, "Well, I know we had met before, in passing, back when David and I first started dating but it's nice to actually talk to you. I'd heard so much about you, and I know you meant a lot to him."

Felix smiled and shook their hand then watched as they whistled and Ace followed them towards the street. They stopped and turned just a half dozen meters away, "You said you didn't know why he carried the friendship, put in so much effort. I didn't get it either, I knew what he had told me but I didn't understand it. I still don't totally get it, but I think I'm starting to."

With nothing more to be said, they walked to their car and opened the passenger side so Ace could hop in then walked around and waved to Felix before disappearing into the car themselves. After they drove off, Felix looked back at the cemetery one last time then walked over to the street and called himself a ride back to his hotel. . . . . .