Cursed Explorer of the Arcana

19691 The 1st Summer

In the upcoming year, my parents spared no effort in helping me choose a profession. They took me around the market, the docks, the barracks, and the craftsmen's district, we even visited other cities in search of something that suited my taste. We watched street performers, asked sailors, made futile attempts at getting anything worthwhile out of an alchemist, and just generally checked out any crafting profession from A to Z.

Turns out not all of them enjoy making the things they do because the results they like and what people would buy are not necessarily the same.

Just for my Mom and Dad’s sake, I tried myself at combat using just a stick to see how all that danger and stuff stick with me and… The problem is that I sparred against Dad and no matter how much he held back my ass got whooped over and over again. Add my distaste for getting hurt to the disappointment of continuously losing without showing any improvement and you get the recipe of… something that drains motivation.

Mom also brought home some books about magic every time she came back from another adventure, knowing well how much it fascinated me. A crucial step just for the books to have any value to me was learning the words and letters which was weird because I could already speak the language no problem, yet I had no clue what some list of doodles on a paper meant.

Books are fun, learning how to read… not so much.

Of course reading material wasn’t the only thing she returned with from her trips, usually showing off a weapon, some shimmering fur, scales, or other trinkets she secured along with her pay. Wounds and bloody clothes were oftentimes among the things she had on herself wherever she stepped back into the house. She always tried to play it cool, acting tough in front of me, and telling me redacted tales of her adventures where everything was fun and interesting with a few accidents resulting in her getting hurt.

I’m young, not stupid and I can recognize my mother lying.

Elyssia Age: 8

Anyway, I’m eight already, I don't want to sound vain or anything, but still, I’m growing up to look mighty fine. Every girl in town knows that Mom’s one of the prettiest here and I’m her spitting image as Dad always says. Slender, quite tall, radiant smile… Uhh, I must sound full of myself, huh? Well, it is what it is.

I’m currently sitting in our backyard beneath our large oak giving us some pleasant shade in the summer heat. The book in my hand is called The Mystery of Magic, it's an interesting read, it's just…it feels incomplete for the lack of better words.

It says:

Every element is present in nature or its creatures in one way or another. Mana in its natural form sticks to the things it represents. Life mana is in every living being and you’ll find plenty of water mana in the sea. Now, does the mana make the river or the river the mana, we might never know. The only thing certain is that the world is only complete when the two exist together. You can create some water with magic, however, it will never be as stable as water found in a pond for example, it lacks the physical stability, just mana forced into material form.

We can use mana in three different ways. We can mimic a certain element’s nature by simply warming our body using the fire element, the least mana-expensive option. Influence the environment by forcing our own mana into it and then shaping it to our will. Lastly, force mana into physical form, the method requiring the most mana and concentration.

Then again what exactly is mana?

Let's take fire for example, fire is heat, fire is passion, and fire is life burning bright even if burning short. Fire is also destruction and fear, respect the fire, embrace it, and move it naturally like you draw breath. It's the heat in the air, or to look at purely on the basis of mana, it's the red strands of the weave.

…

Now that’s nice and all, but why? Why do they turn red? What do they do once they turn red? And why would the color red make something hot, an apple can be red and it has nothing to do with fire.

“I sat down to find some answers in this piece of crap and all I get is more questions…” I throw my book to the side, carefully because books are anything but cheap, and lie back on the cool grass. “I mean, he might be right and I’m just too dense to understand, maybe red is fire and blue is water… I still don’t like it though.” I keep up the solo debate, talking to myself like always when I’m deep in thought.

I could fall asleep in the shade with the light breeze any day if only it wasn’t lunchtime. It’s also pretty boring. The gang sadly can’t meet today because Nia and her family are out of town while Jappo is busy helping out with the family business. Merchant stuff… typical gnomes. That leaves only the twins and I don’t feel up to the task of keeping them from stealing something for fun again.

My stomach urges me once more to see if Dad is done dilly-dallying and maybe set the table to speed things up and earn cookie points. Taking a nap out in the backyard with a full belly rather than a noisy one sounds a lot better after all. Besides I have nothing else to do today, staying home can be pretty boring.

Arriving in the kitchen I do my part, placing three plates and the cutlery since Mom should be home any minute now before taking a seat. This should be the cue for the man of the house to place food on the table, which looks to be pasta with some blue-ish sauce, yet he just stands at the heating stone and stares into nothing.

Instead of steering the wooden spoon is held tightly in his shaking grip so I speak up to break him out of his stupor. “Uhm, Dad? Are you angry at the spoon? Or did something bad happen?”

“She should be home by now.” Is all he whispers so I just tilt my head signaling him to elaborate. “Your mother Eli, she should have been home hours ago, in the worst case. She’s never been late in the past 6 years and she’s experienced enough to know how long a job will take. She knows how to avoid complications. She even promised…"

The last part is what hits me in the chest the hardest. She promised… she doesn’t make empty promises.

“Maybe she just got held up, or is squeezing more money out of her employer as we speak, or… something simple.” Hopeful words… even I don't take them seriously.

Mom is strong, I believe in her and still, even if she were the strongest being on the face of Aelion I’d keep worrying for her. Accidents can and will always happen just like when Nia bumped into that big man, only a little more dangerous.

Dad looks into my eyes after some further hesitation and places his hands on my shoulders. “Eli, you’re a big girl now, only a year from becoming a Wielder with your own System.” He chews on his lips fighting hard for the words to come out. “Would you- can I leave you home to look for your mother? I’m sorry to ask this and I feel terrible for even suggesting leaving you alone but the thought of your mother…”

He stops himself before speaking his concerns but it’s too late. I know what’s on his mind, I’m not that young.

“Then hurry up!” I speak my mind in his moment of hesitation. “You’re not the only one worried about her and this won't be my first time staying home alone for a few hours.” I flash a reassuring smile before getting up and bringing him his pair of daggers from where he usually leaves them. “Please Dad, bring her back home safely.”

My last comment manages to brighten his expressions if only a little, so he nods and gets ready to… leave me. He’s wearing his hunter’s armor, both his swords and his longbow. Now donning his full battle gear, he leans down and gives me a gentle hug and a kiss on my cheek.

“Take care of the house, okay? Try not to burn it down while I go and fetch Luna, sounds good?” The grin on his face looks a bit strained.

As his daughter, noticing such things is child's play.

I stick out my tongue in reaction and wave him goodbye. “Go already, I’m starving and wanna go back to my lunch.” I turn away and start making my way back to the kitchen, to make it easier for Dad to leave.

I’m just as worried for Mom as he is and the chances of me being fine seem a lot higher.

“Stay safe Eli.”

“Bring mom back safe Dad.”

Dad is gone and so is my appetite along with him. Mom has never been late before, ever. She’d rather reduce her pay and bail on a job rather than get caught up in something dangerous. I asked a few years back why her days of pursuing fame and power came to an end. It was me. The moment she realized she’d be a mother every adventure became… scarier. She looked forward to spending her time with Dad and me, her family, more than any job the adventuring life could offer. Of course, the pay is good so she didn’t entirely retire but seeking danger is not something she’d do.

Now that it’s just me in the house I return to the garden to… to… I can’t think of anything but Mom and what might’ve happened to her. Not magic, not the gang, not the afternoon nap I planned, and not the warm food in the kitchen. And now even Dad is gone, in the worst case running into danger… I want them back, both of them.

With frustration tearing me apart from the inside I turn to an old trick mom taught me for cases like this. Exercise. So when crying gets boring without me feeling any better I start running around in the garden. Laps after laps after laps. As my breath runs short and my legs start to feel weak I channel my frustration and turn it into… a sort of drive. I switch up things a little, doing any kind of exercise that comes to mind, and feel my slowing body drag my thrashing mind down along with it.

I exhaust myself over and over again, which surprisingly helps a lot with my frustration. Dead tired I sit down again to eat my, by now cold, lunch. Then I try to read some books, which are totally unenjoyable with my mind spinning on what might’ve happened to Mom.

Just as Solaire approaches the horizon and there’s nothing left of me but an empty husk of Elyssia without any strength both physical or mental I decide to call it a day. What better way to bleed time than sleep?

***

I can’t tell how deep into the night but I wake up to noises coming from the front door with a lot of grunting and stumbling.

They’re home!

I quickly vanquish tiredness from my eyes, hop out of my warm bed where I found just the right spot for a perfect sleep, and bolt out of my room to greet my parents.

“Mom Dad, are you okay?” I skip toward the figure at the front door yet just looking at their silhouette in the moonlight I get a feeling in the back of my mind. Something’s not right.

“HAH? What is this?” A voice I don’t recognize snorts.

As they enter I get a better look at the intruders, young men as pale as the fresh snow with light purple veins running under their skin.

“You told us everyone left!” Hisses one of the men while aggressively scratching his neck.

“Sh-shut up, it’s j-j-j-just a kid. The p-p-parents are out somewhere and I haven’t seen them come back.” Another much higher-pitched voice answers.

“Whatever, just grab what you can and…” He sniffs the air. “Food, ahh I had fuck all to eat all day. Finally.” He marches over to the now cold lunch Dad made and grabs a fistful with his dirty hands.

The others also get to work, walking past me as if I were just a fart in the air.

“Hey, stop!” I raise my voice. “Get the fuck out of our house or-”

“Look, the little bird throwing threats.” They take me for a joke without even glancing my way.

They methodically go through every nook and cranny taking whatever their eyes land on and leaving destruction in their wake. Kitchen drawers, bookshelf, cabinet, the cupboards until they arrive in my parents' bedroom.

“You’ll regret this!” I keep yelling without any effect. “You better leave-”

“C’mon, where is the fucking money, huh? I can’t endure another day without it… I need it.” The loudest and biggest of the three tears through everything while breathing like someone who’s never seen water in his life.

“That purple prickle got you good huh?” Another snickers, his words barely coherent.

Shortly he finds Mom’s chest of treasure. A box at the foot of their bed where she keeps all the most important trinkets she found during her travels and valuable stuff even I never got to see. It’s her life, her memories, and this Abyss damned fucker has no right to touch them.

Seeing him rummage through all the pieces of her life and bagging them with greedy eyes makes something snap inside me. After all the worry and angst and grief… now this?

I run at the man like a rabid dog, biting his arm with all my might and clawing at his skin, techniques forbidden for normal brawls. He only yelps and mostly in surprise before swatting me away and returning to robing the contents of the chest.

Seeing that biting doesn’t work, I strike at the weak spot of every man Mom told me about.

“Dad left the house in my care!” I roar, the kick connects and the man falls to his knees crying out in pain.

He groans and writhes on the ground for a good few seconds in otherwise complete silence. Just as the other two approach he finally gets himself together and crawls to his knees with his rage-filled eyes never leaving me. Only now, looking into those wide yellowish eyes do I realize something is wrong with these people, something is broken in them.

As I try to back away with all the bravery and confidence leaving me the man grabs my ankle and swings me like a bag of potatoes, throwing me at the wall on the other side of the room.

“You shitty brat, why can’t you just stay put, huh?” He slaps me. “If you'd shut up” slap ”Everything would be fine.” slap “What do you think you can do, huh?” slap “Know” slap “Your” slap “Damned” slap “Place” slap. He takes a few deep breaths. “Now, which leg was it?”

He finally stands up, leaving my face alone, I can’t even see through the tears and my swollen cheeks anymore. I’m just a sprawled-out mess on the floor, sobbing and quivering.

“This’ll teach you a lesson.” He says, anger flaring in his eyes, and stomps my right shin.

CRACK

Pain shoots through my body and the world turns black a second later, with helplessness gripping my chest even as darkness claims me.

***

The next time my eyes open I find myself in an unfamiliar room, an unfamiliar bed with a very much familiar head at my feet. My mind feels groggy and even at the slightest movement, my leg starts to sting which makes me hiss ever so slightly.

The head of my previously sleeping father snaps up faster than I can follow, his eyes locking onto me with the lack of proper sleep visible in them. They start to water while I rub my eyes and… I must look terrible for him to cry simply at my sight.

He gets up and hugs me slowly and with care yet the approach is so meaningful, so heavy with emotions that not even a mountain would be able to stop his arms from cradling me to his chest. “I will never leave you again my dear.” He whispers with a quivering voice. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have left you here, I should have been more patient, I should have-”

“Eli!” Mom bursts into the room, somehow, I don’t know how, sensing the time right. Maybe one of those mother’s instincts stuff. “It's all my fault. I made you both worry, I…, I…, your father came to get me and you ended up in such a horrible state because of it.” Her voice is weak, her usually strong and radiant appearance nowhere to be seen. She seems small, almost vulnerable, guilt probably eating her up from the inside. “I feel like such a failure of a parent right now. I-”

“Just come here already!” I shout at her. ”Do you know how worried I was? I thought I’d never see you again.” I don't have to tell her twice, she crushes us in a big family hug and we just stay like that. Teardrops fall endlessly as we stay huddled together, fearing that if we let go something terrible might happen again. “I’m sorry I couldn't protect our home.” They just hold me tighter after this comment.

After the tears dry up I take a look at my leg encased in some weird brown… something. It’s not good.

As it turns out after sharing stories and pouring our hearts out; I’m at the local healer’s house. The neighbours gathered after the commotion and found the house in shambles with me lying unconscious in the same room I passed out. They carried me here and when Mom and Dad returned in the morning they learned what happened. Quite a harrowing experience for all of us.

Since my Endurance is too low, to the point I don’t even have any, healing could do only so much. Endurance is what supplies the energy and material for the reconstruction of the body, that’s why my leg couldn’t be fully repaired with magic.

I also learned the reason for Mom’s delay which turned out to be a Trapping Oak getting a good hit in on her leg as she was returning. A minor unlucky hit, nothing serious so Dad had to help her walk back home.

I’m relieved to have my family back, to no longer be alone yet not all the grief has left my heart. I am weak, helpless, and unable to protect myself or anything that’s important.

“Mom, Dad I don't want to feel this helpless ever again, I don't wanna lose anything or worse, anyone because I can't fight back… I don't want to be abused or beaten one-sidedly… so I’ll fight.” I clench my blanket harder.

I don’t like getting hurt and the pain that comes with it but this gnawing sense of helplessness is thirty times worse… I made up my mind. I will fight, for myself, for what I hold dear, and I won't let people walk over me because I’m weak.