Diary of a Lost Soldier in Another World

Chapter 9: Fear Not This Night



Chapter 9: Fear Not This Night

 

The next wolf girl approached, she’s holding a strange two handed… sword? Cleaver? I don’t really know what exactly it is but it’s called a Kalisk Warglaive. It had a long handle about half as long as your usual spear but the blade is as long as a two handed sword. Unlike a saber however, the blade has an inverse curve making it look like it would leave some nasty wounds if it catches someone in a slash. The edge also looked to be serrated from the mid point to the hilt. 

The way she held it as well was strange, it was hung downwards at an angle instead of the raised position I have seen so far. The stance combined with the design of the weapon made me think it’s designed for an offense oriented combat style. Probably lot’s of wide swings and over head slashes. 

As if to confirm my suspicions, I see her tense her legs and I ready myself for her attack. It seems these girls were trained to be offensive rather than defensive. Although useful as assaulting forces I don’t want them to get killed if possible. I will need to correct this if she’s as good as her twin.

“[Soaring Swallow]” I hear her say as she flies towards me. A normal person would have been cut in half but there was a problem with this charge. Her attack makes her fly through the air, though this gives a shock and increased speed, it does have its weakness. First off she can’t correct her trajectory, secondly she slows down at the end of the charge and thirdly I’m no ordinary person...

With a few light steps I dodge off to the side and I see her horizontal slash hit air. She lands and immediately charges me. It seems she would be good as flanker, I can probably pair her with Ivan…

[Reave] she said as the blade came in an upward slash. I dodge under the strike and deliver a hard kick into her back. My CQB training involves a martial arts style combined from many styles ranging from Aikido disarms to Muay Thai punches, Judo throws and Taekwondo kicks. The style is designed for one purpose maximum lethality in hand to hand combat. I deliver the kick as hard as I can with my armoured boot. 

The girl falls forward and slams into the ground her sword clattering onto the dirt. I watch as she immediately pounces on her sword and rolls forward bringing the sword back into her hands. She turns and returns herself to a ready position. Not bad, she recovered instantly and it looks like my kick didn’t do much damage. Well that’s to be expected I have high [Dexterity] and low [Strength] which means I hit fast but not very hard. So perhaps I need to hit multiple times in a short span of time, attack speed over single hit damage. Just like an LMG, low caliber rounds fired at a high fire rate.

The girl now takes slow steps towards me, her blade raised above her head. So now she’s going for a cautious approach. Alright then, since she seems to be offensive oriented let’s test her defenses. I have no use for soldiers that can’t adapt to battle when it goes off script. After all, as a wise general once said, “Battle plans rarely survive first contact with the enemy.” or at least something like that…

I draw both my bayonet and the dagger in my boot and I twirl them in my fingers getting used to the weight. In close quarters a short knife is much better than a long one, so the trick here is simple, get close enough so that her long weapon becomes ineffective.

I sprint towards her. I find myself tearing across the gap much faster than I was in my old world. I don’t need any fancy skills for this, my experience from my old world fighting Russians twice as tall as me will be more than enough. I see her raise her sword trying to slash me down but of course I’m not gonna charge her head on. What am I crazy? That blade is huge.

I dart to the side and she tries to follow but with her blade held up like that her stance is wide and she struggles to keep up. I wait for the moment her turn falls behind just enough for me to exploit and it appears moments later. I raise my bayonet high and charge her, I see her eyes shift to the blade held above my head. I know that she knows I’ve caught her in a bad spot, a cornered animal is dangerous... but also predictable…

I’ve been in this position before, I dart around one of those fucking Russians. They see me with a bayonet held high, they see their impending death from above… never bothering to look down…

Sure enough she tries to maneuver to block the downward stabbing bayonet. She knows there is no way she can maneuver her long blade to block in time. She raised her right hand in an attempt to stop my left hand and my dagger finds her belly from below. My bayonet is locked against her right hand and she gasps as I drive my dagger into her gut. I feel her body tremble and I see her left hand swing the sword in my direction. Fighting to the end? Admirable, but not good enough…

As her body turns with the swing free, I rip my dagger free and this sudden shot of pain causes her body to flinch. Buying me a second to position my bayonet to catch her blade and direct it away as I move back slightly so the blade misses my head. Now her sword is in between the two of us and I know all she sees is her own sword. I take advantage of this and begin to swing my dagger as the blade passes. She sees my right hand and her eyes widen just as I open her throat…

I sheath my dagger as I look down at her panting face as she clutches her neck. She looks wide eyes at me for a moment before she seems to remember this fight isn’t real. 

“Good, you pass.” I say curtly as I turn back to the clapping Tavis.

“Magnificently done Dark Hero. Relentless, MERCILESS and undeniably… effective. After you end the Rift’s would you consider working as one of Kennel Masters? The soldiers I could produce with someone of your talents…” Tavis said his eyes alight and pearly white smile plastered across his face.

“One battle at a time Mr Brareil... and speaking of which…” I say as I turn to look at the pink haired girl who isn’t looking so hollowed eyed now. I could see her face is slightly pale and the hints of fear are now showing more clearly in her eyes. I must look quite terrifying after I dismantled her fellow in my unholy mask.

“Of course…” Tavis said with a smile. 

I watch as the pink haired girl walks out and I retake my position at the other end of the arena. I turn around and I see the fear in her eyes leaking through those hollow pink orbs. I see those standing at the edge turn to ghostly blue figures and I know it’s begun. 

Immediately the girl raises both wands, [Seeking Flames] I hear her say as a small fireball erupted from each wand. I move to close the distance, in a real fight I would have just shot her and be done with it. She looks younger, not sure if she really is younger after all in fantasy games elves live for hundreds of years. However, I’m guessing she is slightly younger and I have a feeling their life spans are similar to humans. 

Why do I think this? Simple, if it takes two generations to produce a single piece of livestock then the costs would be too high. So the best livestock are the ones that can breed quickly, if we are talking about creatures like humans then the only ones usable would be those that are close to or lower than our human lifespans. Plus she seems more shaken than the other two, it might be due to her younger age making her scare more easily. 

Well they say the true face of a person is shown when their backs are against the wall and their feet are against the coals. Let’s pile on the pressure shall we?

I see the fire bolts home in on me, let’s see how good their tracking is. As they neared I dodged forward towards them at an angle and danced around the shots as they landed behind me. I feel the heat and I turn to see two explosions behind me. The edge of the blast is a metre behind me, it's close but not a threat. 

I look back at the girl who has changed the position of her wands in her hand. Now she points one at me and the other is held at her side. [Scalding Fusillade] she intones as about twenty small fireballs about the size of a golf ball appeared behind her. 

So a wide range bombardment, I doubt she can precisely control so many projectiles. If my inference of abilities thus far is correct, every ability has its strengths and weaknesses. If you want so many projectiles be prepared to sacrifice power and accuracy.

As I thought as the projectiles flew at me many scattered off target not even flying in my general direction, but enough still flew at me to pose a danger. This is where my [Perception] stat comes in handy. I see an opening amongst the hail of flames but it’s obstructed by a single ball of flame. I draw my bayonet and charge the gap and slice the flame ball out of the air. There is no explosion as I expected although I do feel a decent amount of resistance as I slash the fire. These must still do damage if one of them hits even if the damage is on the lower side.

I see her eyes widen slightly when she sees me break through the hail so easily. She thrusts both wands at the floor, [Blazing Retreat] she shouts, her voice going up a pitch. A torrent of flame shoots out from her wands and she is propelled backwards faster than I can follow. It throws flame out infront of her as she is pushed back halting my advance. The propulsion doesn’t last long however and she lands back on her feet. As soon as she lands the flames dissipate and I continue to press my advance. That seems like a useful kiting ability, if that is used in someone’s face that would hurt. 

[Firebolt] she intones again and the same two firebolts bear down on me. This time I’m much closer so I have less time to react, less time... but still have more than enough. I dodge around them again barely slowing my advance.

[Searing Blade] she shouts as she slashes the air with her right wand. [Searing Blade] she says again as she slashes with her left wand. Again and again she does this and I see fire blade after blade fly at me. She is casting spell after spell and she still is holding up, her race must be amazing magic casters. I dodge them easily, they look dangerous but the projectiles are slow compared to the others, probably useful as medium range ability. I try something with the last one and I slash the blade in half with my bayonet instead of dodging it. My bayonet cuts through with quite some resistance. Although it feels like I’m carving through a block of hard cheese I manage to power through.

 

Ability Acquired

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Interdictor I (Common Ability):

Attacks striking incoming projectiles deal + 20% [Damage Dealt]

 

═╬═══════════════════════════════════════════════════╬═

 

So my first new ability, this seems really useful with my high [Perception]. It appears your ability to destroy attacks is a test of strength of my [Damage] versus theirs. Judging by this I can guess that with my greatly increased [Damage Dealt] from my Skill Classes I should be able to knock projectiles out the air with my own attacks. I wonder if it works with my gun…

I look up and see the girl is now panting and her body is steaming. Her strange robes seem to cover more of her body although it still shows a fair bit of skin is glowing. Strange arcane symbols are now glowing all across her robe in weaving patterns. 

[Searing Blade] she says although now her voice seems weaker and she staggers after that attack. I draw my gun and shoot that flaming blade right out of the sky, the bullet flies right past her ear and eyes widen in fear. 

Then I see her eyes narrow in determination as she slams both wands into the ground. [Blazing Prison] she shouts and I see a ring of fire appear around me. I pause and look around waiting for the incoming attack. Yet nothing happens… huh so she just wants to trap me then? I pull my gun and fire a shot through the flame right where I remember her to be standing. I hear a gasp from the other side of the fire wall but the flames remain. So she’s still holding on? I was aiming at her gut or at least I think that was where I was aiming.  

Well in a do or die situation, the one who wins is usually the one with more… well guts…

I sheathe my bayonet and draw my boot dagger. I switch it so I’m holding it in my left hand by the blade in a grip I always use when I need to throw a knife. This flame wall probably won’t incinerate me, the flames are high and it covers a decent area so I doubt she can put much power into it. I ready my gun in my right hand and the dagger in my left. I tense my feet and I run right at the fire wall. I leap forward at the last second and fly right through the firewall. I see my clothes catch fire but I know it takes a few moments for fire to burn through clothing. 

 

Status Ailment Afflicted [Burning I]

~ First time affliction notification ~

  • Take 10 [Ailment Damage] a second for ten seconds

Huh so with my 30% increased [Damage Taken] and 60% [Status Ailment Resistance] this means I should be only taking only 7 damage? My outer coat has about 200 [Global Resistance] per square centimetre last I checked. So I guess I have a bit of time before it burns through… 

I think to myself with a smile as I emerge from the fire and I see the girl’s eyes widen in fear. She’s on wobbly legs, wands still held out to maintain the spell and blood is dripping from her abdomen onto the dirt below. 

Still standing after that hit?

Good…

While still in the air I throw my knife and nail the girl’s right foot to the ground. She gasps and looks down, I land and roll forward in the dirt extinguishing some of the flame. As I stand back up straight, clothes aflame. I see her eyes widen in panic, she grabs the knife in her foot and tears it free. I raise my gun and aim at her head, she raises her head and I can see the fear in her eyes. Then the fear shifts to determination as she grabs both wands and tenses. 

Good, no courage without fear, no victory without sacrifice

[INFERNUS] the girl screams as her robe glows red and I see a ball of white flame appear over her head. The runes on her dress glow then dissipate as red trails fly from her body into the flames. The flame swells, then it blows outwards in a wave of flame and then… I shoot her. 

She tumbles back into the dirt and the flames are gone. I look down at my arm and see I’m no longer on fire, my armor isn’t damaged as well. It seems what happens in the mirror dimension stays in the mirror dimension…

This girl isn’t bad although she looks to be around twelve years old she actually did better than the other two. Her attacks had more tactical variety, from delaying with the wave of small fireballs, to a fighting retreat with that dash ability and finally a containment strategy with that wall of fire. Adaptive strategy, creative thinking and determination to boot. Best score so far…

The girl struggles as she gets back to her feet. Her robes are now steaming and the glowing runes have dulled to almost nothing. I suspect that the last attack drew on the stored energy in her robes, I didn’t get to see it very clearly but it looked much more powerful than the other ones. Her body is flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat. She’s a little wobbly on her feet but she tries her best to stand back on her feet.

ARE YOU CRAZY!

I hear Charlotte shriek, I turn to see her storming towards me. 

“What?” I ask, surprised at her reaction.

“You just charged through those flames! You are so unbelievably reckless!” Charlotte shouted red faced.

“I’m fine, see? Nothing wrong.” I reply as I raise my hand to show her. She grabs it and examines my arm as if to make sure I’m really fine.

“Charlotte, Jacob got stabbed in the face in the first fight…” I say dryly.

“I suppose… STILL don’t do that! I know it’s just some kind of simulation but knowing you… you wouldn’t be above doing something like this in a real fight.” Charlotte said shakily.

“Knowing me? We met yesterday…” I reply in a bemused tone.

“You could just heal him if he gets injured.” Ivan said calmly as he walked over.

“NOT the point Ivan!” Charlotte snapped.

“He’s right you know, besides I’ve had worse.” I say with a shrug as I look at her.

“It’s not just what you choose to do… why you do it matters just as much…” Charlotte replied with a lowered gaze.

So that’s what this is, she knows or at least suspects that I have a death wish. In all honesty I do, just not in this world, my death lies in a different world. Still… as I look at her furrowed brows and how she is biting her lip I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.

“I’m sorry…” I say gently as take her hand. She looks at me with her kind shimmering sapphire eyes and I give her hand a gentle squeeze.

“I won't do it again.” I promise sincerely.

“You promise?” Charlotte says as she grips my hand a little tighter.

“You have my word my lady.” I say with a smile.

“Ok…” Charlotte replied with a small smile.

“So Dark Hero, shall you get the set?” I hear Tivar say from the side ruining the moment completely.

“Yes, I’ll take them all.” I say as I remove my hand from Charlotte’s warm touch. 

“Excellent! I look forward to see how they develop.” Tivar said with another bow.

Bastard…

 

Later that night as we all finally entered our room after tending all the other mundane business, such as being briefed on the training schedule from this day forward, tells us where we can get our equipment maintained, where to go if we need more materials for changes to our armor…

All that crap took almost two hours of walking around this massive castle, thankfully it was all on the first floor. The upper floors were reserved for the rooms of those of import. Which means all the utility areas like the kitchens, armory, barracks, blacksmithing, tailors, etcetera are all at ground level.

As I enter the room I notice that the sky is getting dark which means dinner should be arriving soon. The food is delivered to our room on several large trays and then laid out on one of the large tables near the door. Basically an all you can eat buffet every night, Jacob seemed to really enjoy it last night, they had wine available as well. The four of us made a toast the night before to our new lives in a new world. I was honestly not as jazzed about this whole deal as the rest but I did so anyway. Unit cohesion was what I called it in my head, but in truth I just didn’t want to spoil the mood…

I began removing the greatcoat and held it on my arm like one would a suit jacket. I turned to see Charlotte take a seat on the sofa with a sigh as she leaned back on the sofa. Jacob threw himself back onto the sofa eliciting a squeak as the sofa ground against the floor. Ivan just sat down and calmly placed his warpick at the side before beginning to remove his armor. 

From a late night conversation yesterday I more or less gathered who my party members were before they came here. Jacob’s 18 years old, an American who’s a university student. Ivan’s a 16 year old peasant coal miner in a Russia where the Bolshevik revolution never happened. Lastly Charlotte is a 16 year old noble from the house of Holstein in a Germany that is ruled by the Kaiser. 

Yes, she is 16 years old even if she does look like she’s a year younger than me. She got quite offended by our surprise actually, it was quite funny. She said something about how women are sensitive about their age, I mean she does look like she’s slow to develop, she’s rather short with a petite body and her face looks quite young.

As for myself? Well I told them the jist of it minus what I plan to do once I manage to go back to my world. I’m a child soldier, in a world torn by war, from the Korean peninsula to the island of Taiwan and all the way down to Malaysia, Asia is getting royally fucked by the Chinese and the Russians… with barely any help from the western powers… 

The only areas still not being contested are the Philippines, Indonesia and Singapore. Thus far the Chinese don’t seem to want to try their luck against the American navy and the US doesn’t want to risk their precious aircraft carriers against the Chinese land based ballistic missiles. Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia and Bangladesh are all gone, fallen a year back. Malaysia is losing ground daily, last I heard. It might actually have fallen by now. I have no idea, the reports about the rest of the world come rarely. What I do know is that Singapore, the Philippines and Australia are being fortified by the Americans. It seems like they don’t want to lose the continent completely. India is holding their own but barely, but they’re doing this by just throwing people at the Chinese, they have a population of two billion, I suspect they plan to just make the war too costly for the Chinese. So I guess the plan is to see if they can make the Chinese run out of bullets before India runs out of bodies. Slight flaw in that plan though, China doesn’t care about their losses either...

It’s just my luck that I’m born during World War III, even if the rest of the world doesn’t officially recognise the term. Instead the UN has chosen to label the conflict as a group of many isolated conflicts rather than an all out annexation attempt by the communists. So now the four Titans of my world square off, the USA and EU on one side, China and Russian on the other. All the while the smaller nations get trampled under their feet as they brawl it out. As for the UN, they are still trying to play referee in a no holds barred cage fight…

Well that’s the situation back home, which does put a new perspective on my mission. I would need to inspire a crazy among of fear for them to leave Japan alone. Which means I will need to make Hitler look like the Virgin Mary to dissuade the communists from attacking again. Probably need to grab the head of state’s family, string them up with their guts outside their parliament or something, fear will be my weapon since I’m only one person and I can’t be everywhere at once. Or maybe massacre a city or two, get my hands on some dirty bombs or bio weapons, set them off in a civilian centre... Most probably need to start with Moscow. After all, sever the head and the body dies, no need to fight the arms… just go straight for the throat…

“What are you doing?” I hear Ivan ask as I’m torn from my thoughts.

I turn to see the three animal girls kneeling on the floor, Amethine is standing next to them with an unsure look in her eyes before she moves to try and kneel.

“Stop…” I say exasperated, as Amethine freezes.

“Get up… sit over there.” I say as I point at an empty sofa.

I watch as the four of them begin to move and I look back at the other three. Jacob has a very conflicted expression on his face, Ivan’s brow is furrowed and Charlotte just looks tired as she lets out a sigh. As I look back at the four of them and I see the four of them have knelt on the floor in front of the sofa…

“Sit on the sofa…” I say my eyebrow twitching. 

“Katsuro let me…” Charlotte said as she stood up and walked over to the four of them. 

“Sit on the sofa if you would.” I hear her say. The four obey as they sit down and look at her. 

“You do not need to kneel to us, we are not your masters, as far as we are concerned you are our equals and we will treat you as such.” Charlotte says slowly and deliberately.

“But…” Amethine begins but Charlotte raises a calm hand and silences her. This is a side of Charlotte I have only seen glimpses of… Lady Charlotte von Holstein, calm, dignified and elegant. Inspiring undivided attention purely by her practiced movements and quiet dignity.

“I know this is a great change for all of you. I will not expect all of you to adapt so quickly, so for now I shall give you some commands, it would please me if you can obey them.” Charlotte said as she raised a finger.

“First off, you are not to offer yourself to anyone. That is to mean you are not partake in any form of close intimacy with anyone solely on the basis of the person's request. You may still do acts of intimacy but only if you wish to do so, if both you and the other person are willing then please do so in private. If anyone… and I mean anyone… tries to convince you to give yourselves to them. You say you need to ask for my permission and you come straight to me. Am I clear?” Charlotte said.

“Yes master.” the three animal girls says

“Yes Light Hero sama.” Amethine says.

“That brings me to another thing, all of you are not to kneel before me or anyone us. You will also not refer to us as Hero or Master. Am I clear?” Charlotte said again.

“But…” Amethine began again this time looking a bit wide eyed. Again Charllotte raised her hand, silencing her.

“Listen first, I do not need someone to grovel and kneel before me so that I may receive respect. I can earn respect without those kinds of demands, thank you very much. To say I need subservience to obtain respect is frankly insulting.” Charlotte said in a clipped tone.

I see Amethine’s eyes widen in admiration and I swear her eyes are sparkling.

“So I would prefer all of you to refer to us by our names, I am Charlotte, this is Katsuro he’s the most experienced so his words carry much weight, listen to him.” Charlotte said as she gestured to me. The four on the sofa all nod in unison as if confirming that statement. Great more kids to protect…

“This is Jacob.” Charlotte said as she gestured to him.

“Yo.” Jacob said with a friendly wave.

“And this is Ivan.” Charlotte finished as she looked at Ivan.

“Hello.” Ivan said with a nod.

“Now that you know us by our names, I would like you to refer to us as such. No Life Hero, no master, our names only. Am I clear?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes Charlotte sama” the four said in unison with a bow. I see Charlotte seemingly deflate at those words and the bow.

“We’ll work on it.” I say as I place a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder.

“Right…” Charlotte replied with a sigh.

At that moment I hear a knock on the door, I see the door open and two attendants appear pushing a tray of food. We told them to just come in with the food, I didn’t want to have to open the door every time…

“Ah my apologies, if you require private time to examine your purchases we will come back later.” the attendant says as she starts to close the door when she spots the four of them on the sofa. 

“No, there is no private time.” I sat testily as I looked at the two idiots at the door. They freeze at my tone and their eyes shift to the four stiff girls on the sofa.

“We did not mean to interrupt your…” the attendant began.

“Just... put the food on the table…” I say cutting her off, exasperated beyond words.

I watch the attendants as they prepare the food and as soon as they finish I gesture at the door before any of them can ask if we need any “Service”. They bow quietly and leave the room without another word.

Seriously what is wrong with these people, breeding these girls like livestock, treating them like objects to be used and worse she seriously expected that one of us would have our way with these girls. The pink haired girl looks to be 11 or 12! 

I may be a war criminal with plans to commit a crime against humanity but I don’t touch kids. I mean seriously kids? No matter what I am, I’m still a professional soldier and a professional… has standards… and no. I’m not a psychopathic killer, I'm a soldier with a bloody vendetta, what’s the difference? Well one’s a job and the other is a mental illness.

Ok need to stop talking to myself again… 

“Let’s eat...” I say as I glance over at the four of them and realise I don’t know the three animal girl’s names.

“Hang on we never go your names…” I say as I look at the trio.

“We don’t have names.” one of the wolf girls said calmly.

“Oh… erm…” I say, ok they got me there…

“We’ll think of something for you later. For now just eat up, it’s been a long day. Eat with us, take as much as you want and sit on any of the sofas.” Charlotte said clearly and also slightly wearily.

The meal went by well enough, if a bit quieter than yesterday. The three animal girls although eating were as silent as the grave. Charlotte mostly chatted with Amethine to try and make her feel more at home. Ivan and Jacob talked while trying their best not to look at the three girls who were stiffly eating their food. I didn’t feel like inserting myself into their conversations so I just wolfed down my food until I felt full and I helped myself to a glass of wine. The strongest one they had, they had a few varieties there was fruit wine that tasted closer to grape juice than alcohol and then there was the one in my hand. 

I downed the glass in one swig and felt the scalding burn go down my throat. This is fortified wine, the alcohol percentage should be closer to liquor rather than wine back in my world. Well I like the stronger stuff anyway, afterall the only way I got any drinks back in Sapporo was when I managed to… “relieve” the Russians of their vodka rations.

I poured myself another glass and took the whole damn bottle as I walked over to the balcony. I took another large gulp and I felt the latent anxiety in my belly start to ebb slightly. 

Fuck this is some good stuff…

I think to myself as I finish my second glass and pour another. I look over the lights in the city, it’s quite large and the streets stretch out almost to the horizon. It looks quite beautiful in all honesty, a pity the hordes of hell are coming to destroy it. These people sleeping in their houses, they think themselves safe and happy. Sooner or later some event by the spiteful gods will arrive and their happiness will turn to ashes in their mouth…

These “good people” as I’m sure they think of themselves. I know more than enough after today. Amethine’s life, the slaves of this kingdom, this seething pool of cruelty this kingdom is resting on. An ivory tower probably built on centuries of murder…

They say if you want to know the true face of a man do not look at how they treat their equals, see how they treat their inferiors. As for nations? You want to know how this nation truly is? Why you visit the downtrodden and see for yourself how they live. The worst off in this kingdom are treated as no different from inanimate objects… and I’m supposed to help save this?

“Katsuro?” I hear Charlotte ask from behind me.

I turn to see her standing there with a worried look on her face.

“What are you doing out here alone?” Charlotte asks as I see her approach.

“Enjoying the view…” I reply hoarsely, my throat a bit raw from the wine.

“You drink a lot?” I hear her ask as she looks at my empty third glass clutched in my hand.

“When I get the opportunity.” I say looking away.

“Here, give me that..” I feel Charlotte soft hands gently take the bottle and glass from my hands. I let her do so even if in my old world the last time a replacement tried to do that I knocked two of his teeth out.

I see Charlotte put them on the ground and she moves to stand next to me. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? You rarely see the stars so clearly in Berlin, the city lights are so bright they drown out these small twinkling stars…” Charlotte said as she looked up at the starry sky.

“But I don’t think you’re really enjoying the view…” Charlotte said as she turned back to me her sapphire eyes reflecting the dancing candle flames.

“No, not particularly.” I reply with a laugh as I feel my shoulders slump.

“Hey, come here….” Charlotte said as she walked up to me and took my hands with her own.

“I know you're hurt, deep down… I see it in your eyes… sometimes you look like you're not all there…” Charlotte said as her hand reached up and touched my face.

“Like you left a piece of yourself back in your old world…” Charlotte said as she ran her thumb over my cheek.

“Well you’re right about that… too many ghosts back home for me to leave completely.” I said with a light laugh.

“They wouldn’t want you to suffer like this.” Charlotte said. 

This beautiful and kind girl, I know what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to save me, she knows I don’t care much about if I live or die. I may need to survive to save everyone back home, but honestly even on my second day it’s a struggle… a struggle I’m losing. In a fight I feel nothing... I fear nothing, not pain, not wounds and not death. I find some weird pleasure as I charge into a fight. This is the worst thing for a soldier to have, this means they are breaking and it won’t be long before they end up killing themselves…

If I’m like this how am I going to lead? These seven kids are looking to me to lead them? How am I going to do this?

“I don’t know if I can do this…” I say shakily.

“How am I going to keep all of you alive, when I barely care if I live or die?” I ask.

“I don’t know what happened back in your world, but I know you think you're broken. Broken beyond repair but I don’t believe that.” Charlotte said gently.

“How do you know?” I say quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

With those words Charlotte smiled slightly as she looked down for a moment as her hand left my cheek and landed gently on my hand.

“My mother once said, those who are perceptive are rarely as perceptive about themselves…” Charlotte said as she ran her thumb over the scared back of my hand.

 

If you were truly lost... 

Why do you even care about taking care of us?

 

Charlotte said as she looked up and locked me in her gaze.

“You have your own objective, you want to go home to die. So why do you even care? We’re all dead weight compared to you, you probably can take on all of us at once and win with strength to spare. So why?” I hear her ask. 

 

Because all of you can be useful…

 

That’s what I would like to say but I can’t say it, because deep down I know it’s not true. I can’t lie to Charlotte, not like this. So I remain silent, lost for words.

“I assume you want to say something like, all of us can still be useful in keeping you alive, or something along those lines. It’s the only logical answer left to you but you can’t… or can you?” Charlotte said transfixing me with her gaze.

“No… I can’t…” I say, my voice empty and hollow.

“Because you are not what you think you are.” Charlotte said gently.

“Thanks Charlotte.” I say with a smile feeling just a little better as I grip her hands with my own.

“Can I sing you a song?” Charlotte asked with a smile.

“What? That came out of nowhere.” I ask with a bemused laugh.

“I’m quite good you know, I sang in the Berlin Opera for the Kaiser.” Charlotte replied with a smile.

“Really? You sang for a king?” I ask with a laugh.

“It’s not that funny…” Charlotte said with a pout.

“No, no it’s just unexpected that's all.” I say as I run my thumbs over the back of her soft hands.

“So what say you Onaga Katsuro? Would you like to hear it?” Charlotte asked with a shy smile.

“Of course, it’s not everyday I get to hear a performance worthy of a king.” I say with a warm smile.

“Ok but promise you won’t laugh.” Charlotte said blushing slightly.

“I wouldn’t dare...” I say.

“Alright here goes…” Charlotte said as she shut her eyes and took in a deep breath.

 

Fear not this night

You will not go astray

 

Her beautiful voice carries over me, she’s an excellent singer, better than anyone else I have ever heard… far better. Her voice is gentle and melodic. Her gold hair glinting in the moonlight…

 

Though shadows fall

Still the stars find their way

And you can always be strong…

 

Charlotte sings as she looks up at the stars above, I follow her gaze and I see the stars glinting in the pitch black sky. Little flames shining in a sea of darkness...

 

Lift your voice with the first light of dawn...

 

Maybe if someone as bright like Charlotte can find it in their hearts to have hope for someone like me… maybe there’s a chance… maybe...

 

Dawn's just a heartbeat away

Hope's just a sunrise away...


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