Empty Nest

Our glasses come down and we turn our attentions to the wonderful meal that Heather had prepared. I stare down at my plate. A pile of mashed potatoes. A chicken breast and thigh. A mound of deep green green beans glossy with real butter. A slice of French bread. It was nothing spectacular. Nothing you would put up on Instagram for the envy your friends. And yet…it was beautiful. Beautiful because someone had made it with their own hands and shared it with me when I needed it most.

“Are you okay, Elliot?”

“Yeah.” I whisper. “I just…haven’t had a meal like this since Mom…um…” I sigh. “Sorry. There’s that pity again.”

There is a long moment of silence as I feel her eyes watching me. There is a shuffle and the scrape of her chair against the floor. The next thing I knew Heather wasn’t sitting across from me but to my left. Clearing some space on the table in front of her she moves her meal then reaches out to stroke a gentle hand down my back.

“Do you need a hug, Elliot?”

What an odd question. Nobody had ever asked me that before, not since I was little anyway. Despite the strangeness of the request I nod. Leaning over and pulling me toward her Heather gives me the kind of warm, supportive hug that I didn’t even realize had been missing in my life. I lay my head on her shoulder and savor this moment. She smelled like a floral glade after a Spring rain. Her full bosom was so squishy and pillowy compared to Blair’s or my mother’s. Her larger, softer body and longer arms engulfed me like those women never could. It was different and…surprisingly nice. In fact it was one of the nicest hugs I’d had since, well, ever.

“I understand.” She says softly. “Really I do. When someone you love is taken from you suddenly, unexpectedly, there’s no time to process it. They’re just gone one day and your world is different.”

“Yeah.”

“Since Alexander passed I have those moments. A sound, a color, a smell, it can be the most innocuous things. And for just a second…they’re still alive. Always at the most unexpected times.”

“Yes. Yes!” It was like she reading the words buried in my heart. Sentiments I’d struggled to express since my parent’s crash. I stay very still, wishing this friendly hug might last a little longer. “You…forget that they’re gone. You just…forget.”

“And you think of something that you are going to tell them the next time you see them. A joke or news story they’d be interested in hearing or something important that you needed to talk about with them.”

“And then you remember.”

“It’s almost like losing them all over again. Isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I whisper. “It’s just like that.”

“Just between you and I, I had one of those times just a moment ago.”

“You did?”

“Yes.” She says. “It’s been a long time since I cooked a meal for an attractive man that I wasn’t related to. Or shared it with him. A very long time.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” She rubs my back, harder this time, as she breaks our hug. “And it’s good for me.” With a warm smile she pats my arm. “Eat. You’ll feel better with a full tummy.”

“Yes Ma’am.” I nod, already feeling a hell of a lot better than I did a minute ago. “Thank you.” Taking her knife and fork she starts in on her chicken as I take a mouthful of delicious beans. So good! I’d forgotten how much better fresh was compared to frozen. Why hadn’t Blair and I made food like this? The bit of effort was more than made up for in how good it tasted. I make a note to myself to cook for her if she ever took me back. “So, um, how are your kids? You said Lily was in a residency?”

“Yes she is.” She says with pride. “Just started her residency into urology this year. One of the youngest to ever get there that fast. She’s so smart.”

“Urology?”

“Bladder, kidneys, male bits and bobs.”

I chuckle. “Bits and bobs? That’s cool.”

“And Liam, well, he’s still figuring things out.”

“Oh?” I say, genuinely curious as to the fate of my former bully.

“He got his degree in business management then took off to Europe for a ‘gap year’.” Her tone of voice and the way she finger quoted ‘gap year’ made it clear that she was not a fan of that decision. “He hasn’t been back since. He met a girl in Germany. I think they’re in Portugal now. I don’t have a clue how they’re making it. As far as I know he just picks up odd jobs here and there and she doesn’t work at all.”

“Well…that certainly sounds like an adventure.”

“Mmm. Must be nice.” She sips her wine. “So, Blair. That’s your girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend.” I clear my throat and take a sip myself. “She kicked me out today. I, um, wasn’t pulling my weight.”

“Sounds like a common theme. Slacking off at work. Slacking off at home. Slacking off on your looks and hygiene.”

I bow my head. “Yes Ma’am.”

She chews down a piece of chicken as she continues to look at me. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Uh…I don’t know.” I shrug. “Try harder I guess.”

“Nope.”

“No?”

“You’re not going to try. You are going to do. And ‘harder’? Harder at what?”

“Um…”

“I’ll tell you what you are going to do.” She says. “You are going to get a good meal and a good night’s sleep. You are going to wake up in the morning and shower and shave and brush your teeth and put on a clean set of clothes. And then you are going to look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Even if you don’t feel like it. You are going to smile and say something kind. From now on you will do that every morning.”

“Erm.” I bristle. “Respectfully, I appreciate everything you are doing for me. But…”

“Is this where you tell me to fuck off again?”

“Um…no, Ma’am.”

“You aren’t going to do those things for me, Elliot. You’ll do them for yourself.”

“Erm…”

“So you are up and looking good. You’ll have a good breakfast before you leave. Then what are you doing?”

“Uh…look for a job I guess?”

“You guess? No, no, no.” She waves her fork. “You need a plan. Concrete steps. Where will you look for a job?”

“Errr…” Her blunt questioning had me reeling. Unlike Blair or my friends she swatted away my usual vague evasions like a pesky fly. “…online?”

“Where? What site?”

“Um…”

“Do you have a resume?”

“Somewhere, but…”

“Is it up to date?”

“No, but…”

“It’s old news anyway. You need a fresh start.” Setting down her fork she turns to me, giving me her entire attention. “I will tell you what you going to do tomorrow. You are going to write yourself a new resume. On it you are going to list your strengths.”

“What strengths?”

Without a pause she launches into it. “You are polite, when you want to be. That’s people skills. You are a quick learner, I saw it with carving the chicken. You’ve got initiative, volunteering to fix my microwave. And speaking of that, you are technically savvy. Mechanically inclined you’ll put, that’s a big one. You take direction well, team player. You clean up nice, professional appearance. And you acknowledge your past failures, accepts responsibility. And that’s just the stuff I can see after an hour.”

“I…don’t have a computer or…”

“Do you have a library card?”

“Library card? Yeah. Never use it though.”

“You’ll use it tomorrow.” She states. “There is a branch only five blocks from here. They’ve got computers and printers and internet access and everything you’ll need. They’ve even got some resources there for job searches. You’ll ask a librarian for help. There is one there named Myles. He’s balding and usually has his reading glasses hanging around his neck. He’ll get you going properly.”

“Myles.”

“I’ll call him on my lunch break.” She says. “Just to make sure you did it.”

Damn she was nosy! Overbearing and bossy too! Some might even say she was a bitch. But right now, as lost and alone as I was, I felt like I could use a little bossing around. In fact…I kinda liked it. I kinda NEEDED it.

“Do you have references?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you checked in on them recently?”

“Well…not really. No.”

“You’ll call them. Reconnect and make sure they’re still solid. Who knows, they might know of an opening.”

“I doubt it.”

“Do it!” She insists. “If you need another one you can use me.”

“Oh!”

“Do you know what kind of job you are after?”

“Uh…whatever I can get?”

“That’s right.” She says. “You’re flat broke and out of options. Right now getting an income is your top priority. This is no time to be proud or picky. If it pays and you can start right away, it’s good. Once you’ve got your feet under you you can reassess things but right now time is of the essence.”

“Uhm…”

“Just say ‘Yes, Ma’am’.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good man.” She says. “Once you are done doing all the online stuff you are going to print out some physical copies of your resume, as many as you can afford. You’ll have a good breakfast in your tummy so you can skip lunch. Start canvasing an area on foot. You’ll hit every place you can, help wanted signs or not, but be realistic about it. And you’ll keep going until you’ve distributed them all.”

“Okay.”

“And if you run out and you’ve still got some energy in your legs, you just start going into places and shaking hands. Talk to the managers. Head up. Confident smile. Let them know that you can start immediately.”

“Head up. Confident smile.”

“Then, when you are done all of that, you will call your old job and try to get it back.”

“I can’t…!”

“You can and you will.” She snaps. “Set a time for it. Let’s say 3pm.”

“Morning would be better.” I mumble.

“Then do it in the morning. 10 am. Sharp. Be humble but not a doormat. Be contrite but confident. Stay on point. And DON’T play the the victim. Acknowledge what you’ve done wrong and tell them that you’ll do better. Say it and mean it.”

“Say it and mean it.”

“As you always should. If they won’t take you back, nothing is lost. That’ll be your whole day.” She says. “Until you get a job your full-time job is getting a job. Understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Her confidence was infectious! Her call to action inspiring! I knew damn well that all her well-meaning plans would fall apart the moment I stepped outside the door tomorrow but for the moment she had me almost believing I could do it.

“And when you’ve done all you can…” Taking up her fork and knife she returns to her meal. “…you will come back here.”

“Here?” I say, my hopes rising.

“Somewhere in your travels you will pick up that door thingy you were talking about.” She gobbles down a scoop of mashed potatoes. No little nibbles for her, not like Blair, this was a lady with a healthy appetite. “I’ll give you ten dollars before you leave. IF…you can fix my microwave tomorrow you’ll have earned yourself another night here.”

“Oh! Oh! Thank you, Mrs. Hutton!”

“One night.” She says pointedly. “That’s it. For the repair it will be worth it. But I’m not running a charity here. I’ve got all I can handle just looking after myself here. The last thing I need around here is a charity case. Okay? For your own sake you need to fix up quick, Elliot.”

“Yeah. I understand.” I nod, overjoyed at having another night’s reprieve from homelessness. I take her hand and give it a squeeze. “Thank you, Mrs. Hutton!”

She grins, and was that a blush I see? “Don’t thank me. Just do what I said.” She says. “I’m going to want to hear all about your day tomorrow evening. And I intend on checking up on your story. I’ll want to see that call at 10 am on your phone.” Her talk was tough but her palm was soft as she gives my hand an encouraging squeeze. “If I discover that you are lying to me, well…I am afraid that we won’t be able to be friends anymore. If there is one thing I cannot stand more than pity it’s dishonesty.”

“I understand, Mrs. Hutton.” I say as her hand slips from mine. “I will do what you say. I promise.”

“You better.” She smiles. “I am not a woman to be trifled with.”

“I believe you!” We share a laugh and clink our glasses for another drink. With all these good feelings swirling I am feeling a bit brave so I risk a question that had been on my mind since she’d brought it up. “Hey, um, Mrs. Hutton?”

“Yes, Elliot?”

I glance into her rich brown eyes then right back down to my glass. “Do you really think that I am attractive?”