Glimpse of Eternity [A Reincarnation Isekai Fantasy]

A young girl named Kagami Kyouka rushed into her big brother's room.

It was just after a terrifying giant rat had attacked them and Kyouka was worried sick about her elder brother. She didn't care about all the adults fussing over her, telling her to stop, or do this and that; she had to go to where her big brother was.

"Big brother!" Kyouka called out desperately. She scanned the room with her eyes and quickly found the person she was looking for.

"Hey, keep it down will ya?"

The ten-year-old Kagami Ken chuckled as he sat on a comfy armchair while sipping on some chocolate milk. He beckoned Kyouka to sit next to him.

Kyouka, ever the obedient little girl, naturally followed. She collapsed down next to Ken and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

Ken seemed to notice her gaze. He smiled warmly at her and asked, "Why are you staring so much?"

"Because... uhm. The big rat..." Kyouka had trouble putting her thoughts into words. Eventually, she managed to ask, "What happened to it...?"

"Hm, that...?" Ken scratched his cheek with a thoughtful expression. "I told the adults that a bad guy got into the manor and then attacked us. You know, like in one of those shows that we watch sometimes. Nobody would have believed me if I said a big black rat with stinky black smoke coming out of it attacked us. So I made something up."

"Oh..."

Ken's face hardened into a serious expression. "Oh, right. You have to play along too, okay? Don't tell anyone about the truth. They might think you're a crazy person if you say the truth."

"Okay." Kyouka bobbed her little head, causing Ken to smile warmly at her and stroke her head. Kyouka just let it happen, even closing her eyes in bliss. Then she beamed happily at Ken, relieved of his safety and well-being. "But I'm glad you're okay, big brother."

"What are you talking about?" Ken raised an eyebrow, continuing to stroke Kyouka's head with a smile. "Who said I'm okay?"

Kyouka looked at Ken in confusion. "What...?"

"I'm not okay Kyouka," Ken said. "Don't you remember? I got bit by the rat while trying to protect you."

"A-ah..." Kyouka couldn't say anything, she could only stare blankly at Ken, who regarded her with a frosty gaze.

"Then I had to stay in the hospital for thirteen years."

"..."

"And then, after waking up from a six-month coma, I ran around for three more days." Ken brought his face close to Kyouka's ears and whispered. "...And then I died."

Kyouka's mind shook. Her body trembled from the coldness brought by Ken's words.

"Do you remember now, Kyouka?" Ken smiled warmly again, as if he had never said anything.

Her shaky lips barely managed to squeeze out a response. "I-I..."

"Do you remember how it's all your fault?"

Kyouka closed her eyes and looked at the floor as her voice trembled. "I di-didn't mean t—"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT KYOUKA!" Ken bellowed, his loving smile and calm face were gone, twisted into a demonic expression as he roared at Kyouka. "YOU'RE THE REASON I DIED! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"No! I didn't... I didn't mean to...!"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

"Ah... no..."

"I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU KYOUKA!"

"Ghhh." Kyouka couldn't take it anymore, and curled up on the ground while crying. She wanted to cover her ears, but she felt like that wasn't quite right. After all...

"I'm sorry..."

Kyouka blamed herself as well. That's why she didn't want to cover her ears. She thought it was her fault too.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT KYOUKA!"

"I'm sorry...!"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! EVERYTHING! YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN!"

"I'm sorry!"

The two continued just like that for a while — Ken angrily shouting at Kyouka with a face twisted into a demonic expression, with Kyouka curled up on the ground, crying while apologizing.

This seemingly endless cycle came to an end when Ken suddenly stopped shouting, and his expression became calm.

"Kyouka," Ken called out. "Look at me."

"..."

"Are you listening? I said look at me, Kyouka,"

Ken's voice was gentle, just like how it usually was when Kyouka heard it.

"...Okay." Kyouka hesitantly replied. Tears were still running down her face, and snot from her nose, but she still obeyed. She looked up, pleading in her heart that her brother would stop being mad at her, that he would forgive her.

But what greeted Kyouka's eyes was not the big brother she knew.

It certainly had Kagami Ken's features and his black hair. It was even wearing his clothes. However, the childlike figure in front of Kyouka couldn't possibly be her big brother.

"How do I look? Kyouka." Ken asked. His voice was dry and raspy, however, it was definitely his voice. Without a shadow of a doubt.

"H-how..." Kyouka stammered.

"This... is what happens when the big rat bites you. It starts from wherever you get bit. It'll hurt a lot, then your flesh starts rotting and turning black." Ken said matter-of-factly, in his raspy voice. "Then it spreads. Then the pain gets worse. Then it spreads some more. Then the pain gets even worse. Until... you look like how I look right now." Ken gestured to his body casually.

His entire body was colored black, and eerie dark smoke was oozing off of him. His clothes were covering part of his body, but what could be seen looked like it had rotten down to its core. Even Ken's blue eyes had turned completely black with not a single hint of any other color to be seen. Oddly enough, Ken's teeth remained, however, they had changed into pointed ones, not unlike what you would find in a shark's jaws.

"How do I look?" Ken asked again, his voice still dry and raspy. "Why aren't you answering?"

"..." Kyouka was still speechless, unable to peel her gaze away from Ken's body.

"No answer? Well, that's fine. You were always a bit dim, but I found that cute too." Ken smirked, unintentionally baring his sharp teeth. "It's funny what love can do to a person huh? I just thought of all your faults as cute or endearing."

"..."

"I love you Kyouka. More than I did anyone else in this world." Ken said, his black, rotten face turning serious.

"...M-me too. I love you too, big brother." Kyouka stuttered a bit but still managed to say it firmly. It was one of the truths of this world, so she felt like she had to say it clearly.

But who would have known that Ken would just shake his head?

"No, you don't."

Kyouka was a bit stunned by Ken's denial, but she snapped back quickly. "...That's not true... I do love you!"

"Nope."

"I do!"

"No, you don't."

"I do! I do!"

"You do."

"I don— I mean I do!"

"Pfft. Almost fell for it." Ken chuckled with a chilling sneer. An expression that he had never looked at her with. "Anyways, you don't."

"That's not true! I do! I do, I do, I do, I do, I do!" Kyouka exclaimed, looking like a child throwing a tantrum.

And just like that, the two siblings devolved into a childish back-and-forth again. However, this didn't continue as long as the last one.

"If you loved me..." Ken raised an eyebrow as he tilted his head "Why did you leave me alone?"

"...Wh-what do you mean..."

"When that rat showed up, you just fainted. Leaving me all alone to deal with it."

"I-I-I didn't mea—"

"And even after that." Ken interrupted, his rasp trembling with simmering fury. "When I was in the hospital, you left me alone all the time. Having fun outside, going to school, and hanging out with friends."

"..."

Ken stared coldly at Kyouka. "And even when I died. You weren't there, Kyouka."

"N-no..."

"YOU WEREN'T THERE!" Ken bellowed, his eyes full of blame.

"I..." Kyouka couldn't think of anything to say. She just accepted her big brother's accusations with her head down while trembling, tears falling from her eyes.

"Even though I never let you be alone when I wasn't sick. Even when I was always there for you, you left me all alone!"

"..."

"I never left you alone. That's because I love you, Kyouka."

"I-I kno—"

"Then why?" Ken cut Kyouka off again, "Why, after wrecking everything, did you leave me when I needed you? After ruining my life, you just left me to die by myself!"

"I d-didn't m-mea—"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!! YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR ME, KYOUKA!!!" Ken started shrieking hysterically, blaming Kyouka for everything.

Kyouka just took it all; she couldn't fault Ken for blaming her since she also thought everything was the ultimate cause of his misfortunes. She wept, biting her lip while listening to Ken's accusations.

"..." Ken stopped and brought his face close to Kyouka again. Then he said, in a voice that could freeze hell itself, "I hate you."

Kyouka's eyes widened as her fingers clenched "N-no..."

"I HATE YOU, KYOUKA!!"

"NO! Please d-don't say th--"

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND KILLED ME! THEN YOU LEFT ME!! I HATE YOU!!!"

"NO!"

"I HATE YOU THE MOST!!!"

"N—"

 

---

 

"NO!" Kyouka screamed as she sat up from bed, cold sweat covering her entire body. Her chest fell and rose as her rough breaths echoed throughout her room.

'A dream... No, a nightmare I guess...'

Her heart was still beating a mile a minute, and her breathing was as ragged as if she'd just run a marathon. But she started calming down once she realized it was a dream.

'That asshole...' Kyouka inwardly cussed at the bastard she talked to in her nightmare.

She didn't even consider the fucktard in the dream to be an alternate version of Ken; it would be too much of an insult to her brother. Ken would never break down into hysterics like that; he was always calm and composed. As if everything in front of him was irrelevant or expected. The only time he got heated was when they were arguing over which waifus were better or something stupid like that.

Even seven months ago, when Ken suffered a fit on their way back from outside the hospital, he was calm enough to tell Kyouka not to blame herself. Even though he had to endure so much pain, he still had the presence of mind to set Kyouka's mind at ease. In comparison, the bastard in the dream was so emotionally unstable.

They were nothing alike.

Now that Kyouka was fully awake, she began to notice various things that the bastard said, or rather, the things that that bastard said that were illogical. First of all, Ken had already repeatedly told her that he didn't blame her for anything. Second, anytime she spent too long with Ken in his hospital room, he himself would kick her out, saying that she had to live her life.

And lastly, Ken obviously loved her to death.

That was an indisputable fact.

With all that said, discovering the various illogical things in the dream didn't stop her from being shaken up by it. She knew that Ken really didn't blame her for anything, but that didn't stop her from blaming herself. In the depths of her mind, she felt guilty about everything. And the nightmare had repeatedly picked at her emotional scab, causing her heart to feel like it was being pierced by thousands of needles.

"Ugh..." Kyouka curled up under her bed's comforter. Any motivation to do anything after that nightmare disappeared along with her drowsiness. She closed her eyes shut, trying to think of happy thoughts. Cats. The Color Purple. Cute girls with glasses. Christmas. Hot women with glasses. Halloween. Anime. Manga. Web novels. The book she was writing. That time her big broth—

'Big brother...' Kyouka's happy thoughts were interrupted by thoughts of Ken.

Normally, thinking about her big brother would make her happy too, but ever since about a month ago, it only brought her pain and guilt. Kyouka popped her head out from under the blankets and looked at the computer in her room.

It was turned on since she had never turned it off since last night. Or the night before that. Or the night before. She had probably racked up quite an electricity bill but that was the least of her worries.

Her beloved big brother had been found dead on the couch in his room about a month ago. The maids had apparently come in to see if he was awake and whether he would like to have lunch and found his corpse sitting on the sofa instead. The laptop was still recording, and there was a note beside it, telling whoever came into the room first, to end the recording and send it to Kyouka.

The maids had complied, despite their panic. They had naturally told Kyouka that Ken had likely sent her a message before he died, but even after a month, she still hadn't watched it yet.

Knock Knock

Kyouka was interrupted from her thoughts by someone knocking on her door.

"Young miss, it is me." An aged male voice called out from the other side of the door. "May I come in?"

"Hanzo..." Kyouka muttered, immediately recognizing the voice's owner. "Yes, you can come in."

"Then please excuse me," Hanzo called out, then opened the door and came inside. The moment he did, his face twitched into something like a grimace. "Goodness. This room certainly doesn't smell like it belongs to a young lady... Young miss, have you eaten yet?"

"... No. Not yet." Kyouka shook her head. "You don't have to prepare anything. I'll take care of myself."

"The current state of affairs fails to inspire confidence in me. But I'll trust in your words." Hanzo sighed then hesitantly asked, "Have you watched what the young master sent you?"

Kyouka, seemingly expecting the question, kept her face calm while replying, "Not yet."

"... I see." Hanzo nodded understandingly. "You should watch it when you are prepared."

"... You've said that every time these past few days, but what exactly do you mean?" Kyouka asked, with a hint of impatience. "Prepared for what?"

Ever since the funeral for Ken, Hanzo had been coming over to make sure she was okay. He had been the one to handle almost everything regarding that matter, from the people who were invited, to what Ken wanted to do with his things, and how he wanted his body to be taken care of. He had been the one to carry out Ken's will. Afterward, he'd apparently done some other stuff that Kyouka wasn't very clear of, then retired as a butler.

No longer a servant of the Kagami household, Hanzo was just an ordinary old man who used to work for them.

And yet Hanzo had come to Kyouka's hidden apartment — which she stayed in when she wanted to be alone — and cleaned up after her and cooked for her from time to time. Kyouka had just accepted the unwanted kindness, she knew Hanzo was an important person to her big brother, so she didn't want to be on bad terms with him by rudely kicking him out.

Every time Hanzo came, he would ask Kyouka if she had watched Ken's message yet, and every time she would say "Not yet". Then Hanzo would always say the same words after. She had always wondered what they meant, but never really bothered to ask.

Today was different.

Kyouka was incredibly irritable after that horrible dream, so Hanzo's mysterious words irked her more than she cared to admit. She looked at Hanzo, waiting for his answer.

Hanzo's lips twisted into a sad smile as his aged eyes bored Kyouka. "When you are ready to accept that he is gone."

Kyouka softly gasped at Hanzo's answer, but then she scoffed. "When I'm ready to accept it? How could I possibly not accept it? I was at the funeral! I was there the whole time!" Kyouka exclaimed, her breathing becoming erratic. Then she pointed at an ornate black urn, placed on an altar nearby. "And that urn has his ashes right now. His ashes. How could I have not accepted it yet? It's incredibly clear that he is, in fact, quite dead!"

Hanzo calmly beheld the agitated Kyouka, then shook his head. "Then please watch the message."

Kyouka stiffened.

"You don't want to, because it would bring a close to this whole affair. And you don't want this to end. You don't want the closure, young miss. However, it is unhealthy to be this way." Hanzo turned around and headed for the door. But he didn't forget to say something else as he left. "You need to move on with your life, young miss. You've yet to leave your room for weeks."

"..."

"At the very least, the young master wouldn't have wanted to see you like... this," Hanzo spoke heavily, closing the door as he left.

Kyouka's body trembled from the emotional blow.

'T-that was really low, you old geezer. Bringing up big brother...' Kyouka cursed Hanzo as he left. After a few moments of misplaced anger, her shoulders sagged before a long sigh escaped from her lips. 'But... he's right. I wouldn't want him to see me like this.'

Kyouka got out of bed and sat in front of her computer. Truth be told, she didn't exactly know why she put it off for this long. But she was just strangely averse to the idea of watching it.

'Maybe I'm just scared that he'll tell me he'd been lying about not blaming me all this time. That he's hated me all along. That he wished I was never born...'

However, that couldn't possibly happen. She knew that her big brother was strangely good at lying, and he frequently managed to trick her too, but he was really bad at lying about certain things. Like at the time when Ken had thought she was hyperventilating due to asthma, but she was just worked up and crying, instead. You couldn't fake stuff like that.

'That dumbass definitely loves me. Facts.' Kyouka thought smugly.

Her mouse hovered over the video's play button, but she hesitated to click it.

'S-should I really do it...? Maybe I should just wait for tomorrow...'

Kyouka was just about to put it off for another day, but she saw her reflection on the screen.

She looked horrible.

For the past week or so, she had been NEETing it up in her room. She naturally hadn't bothered to fix herself up and hadn't even taken a shower in days. The unkempt look on her face was even accompanied by an expression of anxiety. The beauty she inherited from her mother that her brother always praised was gone.

Kyouka idly thought about what her brother would say if he saw her now.

"You look like shit. And you're being a total pussy right now. loooool," he would likely say.

"I'm not a pussy! You dick!" she reflexively retorted to the imaginary Ken and clicked the play button, as if in defiance.

On the screen, a video of Ken's final moments began to play.

 

---

 

"Ah, there we go. It's on" The Ken on the screen smiled before nodding. "Sup' Bitch."

"Wah... This guy... starting off his video like this is really like him." Kyouka shook her head in exasperation. Her lips curled into a grin at his antics.

"Haha, you're probably shaking your head in exasperation while grinning right now, thinking about how fitting the start of the video is, huh?" Ken smirked smugly.

"Wh-what the..." Kyouka was utterly shell-shocked.

Ken had predicted her actions completely.

'This freak!'

"Hehe. I did this to Hanzo too, but even if I can't see your reactions, this feels really good." The Ken on the screen chuckled. Then he smiled warmly at the camera. "Anyways, unlike Hanzo, you probably held off on watching my message for a while. Like... maybe a week? If you put it off for more than a week, then you really are much more of a pussy than I initially thought. I'm ashamed." Ken shook his head in feigned dismay. "But my sister is definitely not like that, so it's okay right?"

"Ugh..." Kyouka groaned. She couldn't tell whether Ken was being sarcastic or not. But it still stung. It had taken her a month after all.

"Well anyway, I'm sure it took you some amount of time, before watching this. So you should be aware..." Ken said, then his expression turned into one of tranquility. "That I'm dead."

At his words, Kyouka could only bite her lip in silence.

"Well, we all knew it was gonna happen. But still, here it is." Ken shrugged as if it had nothing to do with him. "Hanzo probably told you a bit, but I'm going to act like he didn't tell you anything at all, okay? Anyway, when I woke up, all the pain was gone. That would normally be a really good thing, but somehow, something told me that I was gonna die soon. I could just feel it, y'know? Specifically, I knew that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't be waking up again. You know how good my intuition is from experience, right?"

Kyouka bobbed her head unconsciously, fully aware of Ken's freakish intuition.

When they were small, she always lost at hide-and-seek, Old Maid, and any card games. Even all her lies were seen through easily.

"Yeah, so with that said, I chose to trust my guts and tried to stop myself from sleeping. I haven't slept since I woke up a few days ago. And, you can easily confirm whether my intuition was correct or not. If you're watching this from a few days into the future and I'm dead, that means I'm right." Ken puffed his chest out with pride, but then it quickly deflated and his shoulders slumped down. "This is about my death so I shouldn't be happy that I'm right..."

"Moron..."

Ken cleared his throat. "So that's that. If you're watching this the day I sent it, or if you're watching this and I'm still alive. Please just stop, and treat it as a joke. If I really am dead, then continue watching."

Kyouka bit her lip and clenched her fist in annoyance. She really didn't enjoy these types of jokes.

Ken began chuckling to himself. "Y'know how strange the feeling of making a video while talking as if you're already dead. It's super weird."

Ken continued to chuckle for a while but suddenly froze, seemingly remembering something.

"Oh. If you're wondering about why my eyes are a bit red..." Ken paused, thinking about something. "... Drugs... Yeah. It's because of drugs. I definitely wasn't crying just now. I was doing drugs." Ken said firmly while pointing at his swollen eyes that Kyouka had failed to notice before.

"Pfft." Kyouka couldn't help but giggle at her brother's antics. Only a crazy bastard like him would still act like this despite being minutes away from death.

'I wouldn't have noticed if you didn't point it out, dumbass.'

Ken cleared his throat, then looked into the camera seriously. Kyouka felt like he was looking into her eyes right now. "I'm dead, Kyouka."

Kyouka trembled in surprise. She naturally already knew, but being told clearly by the person himself was a strange experience.

"I'm sorry, for not letting you be by my side. I just didn't want to see your pained face as I died. It felt like I wouldn't be able to pass on peacefully... or something like that. Anyways, Sorry for being a coward." Ken apologized sincerely. He gave a deep bow, then when he sat back up again, he had a grin on his face. "Don't be too mad at me, though. Just treat it as payback for the secret you've been keeping from me for a while now."

"Wha..." Kyouka tilted her head in confusion.

'What is this bastard talking about now...'

"You think you can hide anything from me? You wish." Ken shook his head in disapproval. "I know about the web novel you've been writing."

"Hah!?" Kyouka stood up in shock. Luckily, she didn't have earphones plugged in.

"Yep. Surprised, huh?" Ken smiled smugly. He truly had a shit-eating grin at this moment. "When the hell are you gonna learn? There is a certain weight to being the elder sibling. I fucking own you, alright? You can't hide shit from me, like, ever."

"Th-this bastard..." Kyouka cursed as her face — up to her ears — burned red in embarrassment. "How the hell did he even..."

"You're wondering why or how I knew, yeah?" Ken piped up, shocking Kyouka yet again. "I have to admit, you almost successfully hid it. I wasn't actually sure until yesterday.

"First, a few months ago, I saw you typing at your laptop furiously from time to time. You would type on it for hours. Plus you were on vacation, so it couldn't possibly be homework or something. I knew you were up to something, but I wasn't sure what.

"Second, just before I fell into a coma, we chatted about a certain web novel you recommended to me. You were way too excited when I complimented it. I already thought it was fishy at this point, but I wasn't completely sure. Third, yesterday, I caught up to the latest chapter of that web novel, and lo and behold, Anita, the big titty lady that I shipped with the MC, started getting it on with him. Almost to an abnormal degree. That pretty much confirmed it, since you were obviously doing that because I got sick, and you wanted my ship to win as a way to... I dunno. You're a weirdo, so I couldn't tell that far."

"..." Kyouka just sat there in stunned silence. Her secret was just exposed mercilessly.

Ken sighed while shaking his head at her. THen he started scolding her through the screen. "You shouldn't have done that. Now the story is a mess. You should've just made a side story or something where they get together instead of fucking up the story to force my ship to sail. Have some pride as an author, goddammit."

"Ghhh..." Kyouka groaned once again. She couldn't believe she was being scolded for something she did for Ken by the person himself.

She couldn't help but glare at Ken with a bit of resentment.

"Well... I do appreciate it." Ken smiled warmly. "For what it's worth, thanks."

"...Whatever. Idiot..." Kyouka muttered as she observed Ken. His hair was just as gray as always while his face was sallow and gaunt, but in her eyes, he was still the most handsome man she had ever seen. A pair of bright blue eyes shined beautifully as they gazed into hers. The moon's glow was the only illumination in the room, and it bestowed him with a halo of almost celestial radiance.

Although the scene that could be seen on the screen was beautiful and picturesque, the light felt ominous to Kyouka.

Ken was smiling right now, but it was wholly apparent that he was quite fatigued. Dark and heavy-looking bags lingered under his eyes, and he lacked the vigor he exhibited earlier when playing with the children. He seemed on the verge of collapsing and passing out at any moment.

"Anyways, now that I've asserted my dominance as the elder sibling, let's get down to talking about some serious stuff." Ken's tired face turned serious. "I'm about to die now Kyouka. And although I don't want to see your face as you watch it happen, I want you to watch my final moments."

Kyouka's shoulders twitched as her fist clenched even tighter, her nails digging into her palms.

"Well, that is, If you want to," Ken said hesitantly, but his voice regained its firmness. "I don't want to force you into it... Well, I'm fairly sure you do, but in case you've changed, and don't want to... Then just turn off the video. Anyways, dying isn't a switch that I just flip, so I'll have to ease into it. That means, I have a bit of time to say some things."

He took a deep breath, before looking at the camera for with a hardened expression.

But the words Kyouka was waiting for didn't come.

"Pfft." Ken then chuckled wryly. "Before I started recording, I went into this thinking that I wouldn't have enough time to say everything I wanted to say... but now that I'm actually starting, I just can't seem to find the words."

Kyouka watched Ken ruminate on his thoughts.

Ken was rubbing his chin while staring into space, but then he seemingly gave up and shrugged.

"You know what? Let's just start talking about what I'm feeling right now." Ken decided. Then he looked wistfully at the moon outside his window, not visible on the screen. "The full moon is really pretty right now, Kyouka. Are you watching this while the moon is out? Or maybe, it's not a full moon yet when you're watching this. Or maybe it's not even night!"

Ken chuckled. "Anyway, staring at the moon reminded me of the day you brought me out, six months ago. I remember thinking how comforting it was, that even after I'm gone, the sky that I was looking at, would still be the same as the one you would look at, years and years into the future. Even after I'm gone."

Hearing Ken's words, Kyouka unconsciously turned her head to look at the moon visible through her own window. It was just as full as the one Ken was probably looking at. Since it had been about a month since Ken recorded the video message, the moon was full again.

'It's the same one...' Kyouka couldn't help but longingly stare at the heavenly orb.

"Ahaha... Sorry that I got a bit mushy there. I just didn't know how to start. It's surprisingly hard to come up with things to say... especially since I'm just talking by myself... Streamers must have it tough, huh?" Ken smiled sheepishly, musing on the unexpected difficulty of the task he previously thought would be easy. "Anyways, since I can't really think of anything to say, let's just chat until my time's up, shall we?"

Ken took a deep breath, then smiled wryly while scratching his cheeks. "It's funny, cuz when I envisioned myself on my deathbed, I didn't think my thoughts would be so complicated."

"I thought, I would just be paralyzed by the fear. Or maybe staring blankly in the air while wallowing in overwhelming despair." Ken tilted his head, while seemingly examining his own thoughts. "Surprisingly, I don't feel fear nor despair. I feel a bunch of emotions right now, but not those two."

"..." Kyouka gulped as she listened intently.

"That said, even without fear and despair. I don't particularly feel at peace." Ken's expression darkened and his shoulders slumped down as he joined his fingers together. "I feel an unbearable amount of regret right now."

"..."

"Wait... I guess that's not right. It's not like that regret started recently." Ken chuckled in self-deprecation. "I've been regretting things all my life."

Kyouka stiffened at Ken's words.

'He's not gonna say that he regrets savi—'

"Before you even have that thought..." Ken abruptly interrupted Kyouka's thoughts. "I don't regret saving you. At all. Period. There are no buts either. I just don't. Also, stop making this about you. This is my video message. This is about me, okay?"

Kyouka was speechless at Ken's sharp words that completely hit the mark.

'Am I that easy to read...?'

"Well, if you weren't thinking what I thought you were thinking, then I apologize. Although I highly doubt that that's the case." Ken smiled smugly. "Also, to answer your question. Yes. You are easy to read. To me, at least."

For a moment, Kyouka regretted she couldn't kill Ken now that he was dead.

Ken cleared his throat and his expression turned serious again.

"When we were young, I acted like I wasn't affected by our parents not being around much. But I actually really wanted them to like me. That's why I studied hard, tried to behave properly all the time, and did my best to get the other adults to like me. All of it was for them to pay attention to me. It didn't work but... well, that didn't stop me from trying.

"Then, you came along. And I don't remember a time when I was happier than the second I saw you in your little crib. You just looked really adorable and I loved you instantly. I wanted to get our parents' attention even more so that you wouldn't have to grow up without them. Like I did.

"But nothing really worked, y'know? And I just kept regretting my inability to get them to love us. I even regretted being born with my appearance, since I thought looking like Mother might have displeased Father, somehow.

"But then I got confined, and they didn't even visit once. That... I think that did it for me. I just kinda lost hope for them at that point. Working so hard for nothing, getting disappointed over and over and over again... In hindsight, I really have to wonder how my hopes lasted for so long. I was just a kid back then, after all."

"Big brother..."

"That's why, instead of reaching out to them, I chose to give up," Ken admitted with a pained expression. "I didn't need their attention. I should be satisfied that they give me so much money.

"I regret that too. Giving up, that is." Ken smiled sadly. "In hindsight, I could have done better. Now, I keep thinking that if I had kept trying to connect with them, maybe by this time, we would already be getting along, like a normal family."

Ken looked wistfully into the air. "I keep thinking of what could've been."

Kyouka continued to just silently watch as her beloved big brother poured out all his emotions.

"Well, aside from that, I don't regret anything else. The fact that I couldn't really be the big brother I wanted to be to you..." Ken raised his nose high into the air and tapped his puffed-up chest. He was incredibly smug. "Is a result of the past me being a fucking chad, saving you from that thing and stuff. It's a sad thing, but It is what it is. I regret nothing! Nothing, I tell you!"

"Pfft." Watching him, Kyouka couldn't help but giggle. She resented Ken's usual habit of trying to joke around even in serious situations, but she just couldn't help laughing every time.

"Hmmm... Aside from regret, I feel..." Ken tapped his chin while pondering. "Sad. Not about my death or anything." Ken waved his hands in front of him in denial. "This guy I met earlier, said something that really struck me. He said that freedom requires strength."

Kyouka stopped giggling and listened quietly again, sensing that Ken was being serious.

"It made me realize some things. This is gonna sound super edgy but... here goes." Ken sighed and then said, "I realized that all suffering in this world, is caused by someone's weakness."

A faint silence fell into the room after his words and Kyouka stayed silent. She couldn't stop her toes from curling up. What Ken was saying was super edgy and he couldn't help but cringe a little.

"Wow, that sounded way edgier than I thought..." His forehead creased as he frowned. "Anyway, think about it. People suffer because they didn't have the strength to prevent that. People who are exploited or wronged have those things happen to them because they didn't have the foresight, power, or intelligence to stop those things from happening. They didn't even have the reputation to act as a deterrent or anything. Like, if someone was known for just going apeshit and beating the crap out of anybody they don't like regardless of the consequences, would anyone just casually mess with them? Physical ability, martial technique, intelligence, wit, wealth, money, and even luck... All of these count as strength. And all suffering is caused by a lack of it. Caused by weakness."

Kyouka tilted her head, wondering where he was going with this.

"And my situation was caused by my weakness too. When that thing attacked, I lacked the physical ability and martial technique to deal with it without being bitten. I lacked the knowledge about it necessary to kill it efficiently. I lacked caution. I lacked the foresight to stop you from going off alone into the forest. And even with our family's vast fortune and other resources, I still never got better, partly because my body lacks the ability to counteract that disease.

"Everything. Everything was caused by my lacking. By my weakness. You may think my logic is flawed, but I really think that way."

"Ken..."

"So, I'm not sad about my death. I'm sad that I was weak. That I still am weak." Ken said gloomily, his expression desolate. His already tired face seemed to give off the impression that he had aged a lot since a few seconds ago.

Kyouka had never seen Ken in such a state. In her eyes, Ken was a hero.

When they were just kids, he had saved her from loneliness and even rescued her from that monster. As they got older, Ken was her pillar of support. Despite him being bedridden, Kyouka always felt safe when they were together. She held the unwavering belief that Ken would accept her no matter what she said, no matter what she did, and no matter what type of person she became. His relentless struggle against his disease for such a long time inspired her to never give up no matter the odds.

Throughout all these years, she had never seen such an expression on his face. While she had seen Ken wince in pain before, she had never seen him appear so... weak and vulnerable.

"Ha..ha ha..."

Kyouka was snapped out of her musings when she heard Ken chuckling dejectedly.

"And that isn't even the part that I find the saddest part about it..." Ken said. He didn't notice the tears that had started falling from his face, as he miserably said, "The saddest part is that I'm not the only one suffering because of my weakness."

"That's..."

"The entire time I was here... I had to watch everyone who visited me, look at me with pained looks on their faces."

Ken admitted dispiritedly, the floodgates holding back his tears had given out.

"The servants and maids, who took care of me growing up."

"..."

"The bodyguards, who did their best to ensure my safety."

"..."

"The researchers who came to visit from time to time, worried about me."

"..."

"I had to watch it every time. I had to watch them hide the pain they felt from seeing me like that. That's all I could do. Watch. I mean, what could I do? Get better? If I could, I would've already done that." Ken poured out his emotions. He hadn't even tried to stop the tears and let them fall freely, as his hands clutched his knees tightly in frustration. "So the entire time, I could only do the one thing I knew I could do. You know what I did, Kyouka?"

"Ken..."

"I lied, Kyouka," Ken said quietly.

"..."

"I LIED!" Ken said loudly. His voice, heavy with the weight of his guilt and frustration, reverberated clearly in Kyouka's mind. "I lied, repeatedly. Because that was all I could do... Watch them try to conceal the anguish they felt, and ruthlessly lie to them. Tell them that I was okay. Tell them that I was fine. Tell them that they don't need to worry... That was all I could do..."

"..."

"The chronic pain brought by my illness? I could endure that forever. Bring it on! But the pain that I felt every time I saw them hide theirs... that was unbearable. Every time, I felt a part of me just... fell away, Kyouka.

"..."

"I felt happy whenever they came, but the pain just made me feel like telling them to leave me the fuck alone."

"..."

"And that thought disgusted me. I just hated myself, Kyouka. That was what I thought after every one of their visits. You know what? Maybe the reason I don't feel sad about dying is because I think I kind of deserve it. A piece of human fucking garbage like me, who thinks like that towards the people who care about him, doesn't deserve to live."

"That's not..." Kyouka bit back the words, knowing that it was too late to say them now.

He was gone now. And she could no longer comfort him. She could no longer try to heal the wounds she never knew existed.

Ken wiped his face with his hands. His reddened eyes seemingly stared directly into Kyouka's through the screen. The anguish in his expression grew even more.

"And don't get me started on what I did to you." Ken bit his lip, holding back another flood of tears, while thinking back on how much he wronged Kyouka all this time. "I told Hanzo this whole thing, where he probably wouldn't be happy hearing apologies from me, and I know you're the same. You probably don't particularly like hearing this sort of thing from me. But... You're the person I have to apologize to the most, Kyouka."

"..."

"I'm so... so sorry..."

"..."

"...The pain I caused you must've been unbearable. I'm sorry. You were the one to stay with me the most, so you had it particularly bad, right? I can't even describe how it felt to see you, who was so young, just try to hold back your tears as much as possible. I couldn't even tell you to leave even if I wanted to, since I knew you would just camp outside the door if I did." Ken couldn't help but smile sadly at the thought, his face was still drenched in misery. "And I wanted you to be there too. Having my favorite person close to me helped me out a lot. Sorry for being selfish though."

"I-it isn't selfish at all..." Kyouka muttered to herself, noticing the slight tremor in her voice. "idiot..."

"You being with me was the thing that made me the happiest, but it was also the thing that caused me the most agony." Ken covered his face with his palms as if to stem the tears. "I never felt more self-hatred than when I saw you trying to endure seeing me in pain, Kyouka. Watching the six-year-old crybaby that I loved, try her best to hold back the tears... I never knew the meaning of pain until I saw that."

"..."

"I've even been lying to you the most. I've been telling you that I'm fine and that you shouldn't worry about me. I've been telling you that you should go out and live your life, even though I wanted you to stay with me. I've been pretending, to be this great and cool big brother who feared nothing and knew everything."

"..."

"You see, all my life, even before I got ill, I've just been acting. Acting capable. Acting strong. When really, I'm not." Ken paused before he took a deep breath, seemingly steeling himself for what he was about to say. "I'm not strong at all, Kyouka. I'm a really big coward, who gives up on things without even truly trying. I've been lying all my life, and when I finally decide to be a bit truthful, I can't even do it to your face. The cool and courageous big brother you thought you had? It was all a sham, Kyouka.

"This... This is who I truly am, my dear sister." Ken smiled weakly. "A person who's just slightly good at seeing through people. A person whose only talent is lying, especially to people he cared about. A person who gave up on himself way sooner than you thought. Ever wondered why I never even tried to get involved with the business side of things? Because I knew it wouldn't matter. I would die anyway, so why should I learn about anything? With that stupid mindset,I just indulged in my hobbies. I just thought to try to enjoy what little I could before death claimed me."

"..."

"And if you think that I'm strong for being able to endure everything for thirteen years, you're wrong, Kyouka. I didn't choose to endure. Enduring was the only thing I could do!" Ken clenched his teeth in anguish. Arms trembling, his fingers dug into the flesh of his thighs. "Enduring. It sounds so fucking heroic, doesn't it? Like some hero, fighting against the odds no matter how much he suffers, or something. But that's not what happened to me. Unlike a hero, I never had other choices. I can't run from the things that hurt me, since they're either an incurable disease, or people that I want to be with. There is no magic fucking sword to slay my enemies since there are no enemies. And last but not least, there isn't a 'Happy Ending' that I'm fighting for. Unlike a hero, I'm not enduring so that I can eventually win, I'm enduring so that I don't keel over. There is no end to the enduring, Kyouka. It only ends when I die."

"..."

"After twenty-three years of existence, this is who I am. A liar who kept the truth buried until his last day, a coward too afraid to kill himself, and an indecisive prick who couldn't make up his mind whether doing it was a good idea or not. My existence itself brought so much suffering to the people I cared about, but my parting would too. So, I just decided to endure and see how it went. Because that's all I felt I could do. All while biding away my time doing absolutely fucking nothing but indulging in indolence."

"..."

"And now, I'm finally going to die. Leaving nothing behind. Nothing but the legacy of being a useless son, a worthless brother, and an overall shitty person who lies as easily as he breathes."

"Big brother..." Kyouka gazed at Ken.

After saying all that with apparent self-loathing, all the while gripping his leg like he wanted to break it, Ken visibly deflated onto the sofa, like all his energy had been used up. He let his hands fall in place atop his legs, and his body rested on the back of the sofa. Ken just kept staring at the air in front of him, his mouth slightly agape as tears streamed down his face.

"..."

"..."

The siblings shared a long moment of silence. Ken dispiritedly gazed off into space while Kyouka waited for his next words with a chaotic mix of pity, sadness, and grief. No matter how much she wanted to rebut his self-depracating words — to comfort him and tell him that she would stand by him no matter how horrible he thought he was — it was already too late. The seconds turned into minutes, and half an hour passed just like that. Until Ken's mumbling broke the silence.

"...I'm so tired."

"...Brother?" Kyouka was surprised. She had been staring at Ken in silence for the past thirty minutes, so she was shocked when Ken suddenly muttered something.

"I'm just... so tired, Kyouka," Ken admitted despondently, his smile barely struggling to stay on his face. His expression was the very definition of lifeless. And his eyes looked like they had lost their light.

"Ah..." Kyouka felt her heart shatter at the sight. She had always hoped that her brother would live a long life so they could be together for longer. In fact, she wished he would live longer than her, that way, she wouldn't have to live a second without him. But she had never realized what that truly entailed.

'Big brother...'

Kyouka clutched her chest in pain. Her desire to be with her brother was what caused him the most pain in his life, she subconsciously knew this, but she didn't expect what staying alive for this long did to her big brother. He had suffered endless torment, throughout these thirteen years, and she wanted him to live longer than her? Would that not make him suffer more?

"I've been enduring for so long... the loneliness... the helplessness... the pain... all of it. I'm just..." Ken took a deep breath, and then seemingly sighed out his next words. "So tired."

"..."

Ken became despondent again after saying that, as if admitting to it drained him of his stamina. He stayed like that for a while, before suddenly chuckling to himself.

"It seems it lost its effects..." Ken mused forlornly. "The cocaine lasted for more than I thought it would..."

Kyouka, who had been clutching at her chest in pain while gazing at her brother, wondered what he had suddenly started talking about.

"Oh, that's right. I lied about that too. I should admit it..." Ken seemingly decided on something, He sat up with surprising vigor and then looked at the camera while smiling awkwardly. "Sorry, Kyouka. I lied about something else. It's super recent too."

"Huh?" Kyouka was shocked by the sudden shift in Ken's mood.

"You know how I joked around at the start of the video? About how my eyes were red at the start, and how they were like that cuz I was doing drugs? Well, I lied about the reason. My eyes were red because I cried while recording Hanzo's video message." Ken paused but then grinned mischievously. "But I wasn't joking about the drugs."

"...W-what... What!?" Kyouka exclaimed.

"Ahaha... I lied like that to hide the fact that I was doing them because I knew you'd be mad." Ken smiled while scratching his cheek guiltily. "At first, it was weed. I used it to get through the pain. It lasted a while, but I ended up getting immunity from it eventually. But since there are so many types of that thing, it lasted for really long. Haha, good times..."

"..." As Kyouka watched her big brother stare wistfully into space while probably reminiscing about the times he got high, she couldn't help but want to smack him.

"Haha..." After having enough of going down memory lane, Ken looked back into the camera, and Kyouka felt that strange feeling, as if he was really looking into her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm taking them medicinally or something... I have papers for it too. As for the cocaine, I needed it to stay awake, since I thought I was gonna pass out. Tonight's my first experience with it and boy was it effective. Anyway, our little chat got a bit too heavy, so I wanted to lighten things up a bit. Did it work? Is the pain gone? Are the tears dry?"

"What..." Kyouka was shocked. She only now realized that the pain in her heart had subsided.

'Did he...?'

"Don't get me wrong. I didn't lie about anything in this video, except for the aforementioned thing at the beginning." Ken chuckled, and then he smiled warmly. "I just wanted you to listen clearly to what I'm about to say now... because it's really important."

Sensing the hidden gravitas in Ken's words. Kyouka sat up a bit straighter and focused her attention on Ken.

"You paying attention? Good girl. Alright. The whole chat up to now was unplanned, what I'm about to say was something I decided a long time ago." Ken took a deep breath and then said, "I'm going to lay a curse on you, Kyouka."

"What is he saying now..." Kyouka tilted her head.

'What is this crazy bastard up to when he's already like this...?'

"I'm not fucking around here, okay?" Ken smiled sheepishly, trying his best to assure his sister, who he knew was likely cursing him in her mind due to confusion. "Kyouka, I'm doomed to not leave anything substantial in this world. Just memories of my masked persona in the hearts of all that I've met. Only you are aware of who I truly am as a person."

"Ah..." Kyouka covered her mouth in shock. She had just realized that she was likely the only one who knew the real Ken.

"And well... I don't particularly want to leave anything substantial since I know I've missed my chance. And I'm okay with everyone else other than you remembering me that way." Ken confessed while scratching his nose. Then he cleared his throat and looked straight at the camera, beaming form ear to ear. "What I do want, is for you to be happy, even after I'm gone."

Kyouka stiffened in surprise as her hand clutched at her chest without her notice.

"This is what I wanted for Hanzo, too." Ken chuckled loudly as if he was remembering a happy memory. "I want the people I care about to be happy after I'm gone. I want them to be successful in their endeavors. I want them to chase their dreams and succeed in life."

"..."

"But I want to be extra sure, with you. That's what the curse is about." Ken grinned mischievously. "I know you're a really emotional person. I know you love me a lot even though I'm so unlovable. So if I word it correctly, I'm sure you'd do anything I say. So here goes..."

"..." Kyouka waited with bated breath, she wondered how Ken was going to place a curse on her or something.

"I, Kagami Ken." Ken started saying in a feigned serious voice, accompanied by his signature theatrics.

"..."

"The beloved big brother of Kagami Kyouka..."

"Pffft..." Kyouka couldn't help but giggle.

"...am Dead."

Kyouka abruptly stopped giggling, pursing her lips.

"And my last desire before I leave the mortal plane is that she obtains happiness and success." Ken smiled warmly, love and affection filling his gaze. "I have infinite trust that my sister has the ability to do this. But I fear that she will hold herself back. I fear that she will restrain herself, and prevent herself from obtaining the things that she wants. I want her to live freely, while not hiding the fact that she's a particularly perverted lesbo from our parents and loved ones. I want her to stop skulking around while writing her novel and actually write it with the pride it deserves. I want her to do whatever the fuck she wants to do — as long she won't be too much of an asshole by doing it and isn't against the law, of course. It's okay if it's an asshole though, but not too much. She's the prettiest girl in the world, so she deserves some leeway."

"Pffft... Ahahaha." Kyouka couldn't help but laugh at the last part. She smiled brightly, moved by Ken's words.

"I, who am about to die, can no longer seek my own happiness. So I place my hopes on Kagami Kyouka. That she may seek happiness for both of us."

Kyouka looked at Ken quietly, ruminating on his words.

"Kyouka, this is the curse I want to place on you." Ken smiled tiredly, but brightly. He leaned back into the sofa, and said, "Go out there and take over the world."

"That's way too ambitious." Kyouka rolled her eyes, muttering. She noticed that her voice came out as a rasp, so she cleared her throat and hugged her knees. "But I'll try, I guess."

"I'll be gone now, Kyouka. Nobody is going to coddle you and tell you everything's okay anymore. Nobody is going to unconditionally be on your side now. Well, maybe Hanzo. But he's old and he'll probably follow me into the afterlife soon enough, so maybe don't count on him too much. That said, he's reliable. And I've never doubted his love for both of us. Oh, but I ordered him to go and chase his dream, so don't keep him with you for too long."

"..."

"Hanzo has his own dreams to chase... and you have a sky to soar towards... a world to wreak havoc in."

"..."

"So, fly, Kyouka..." Ken whispered, fatigue weighing down his voice "Be honest, and chase after your dreams..."

"..."

"...Become... whoever the hell... you want to be."

"..."

"Don't be like me..." Ken closed his eyes as he leaned back, a tranquil smile on his face. "Be... happy."

"..."

"That's... all I want..."

"..."

"I'm really... sleepy..."

"..."

"Goodbye... No... Goodnight, Kyouka..."

"..."

Ken didn't say anything after leaving those words behind. He simply stayed seated on the sofa with his head resting on its back, his eyes closed and a smile of tranquility on his face. The moonlight continued to shine on his body, creating the ethereal picture of a handsome young man who had seemingly fallen asleep while sitting upright.

For her part, Kyouka stared quietly at Ken. No matter how many hours passed, even when the moonlight on both the screen and real life was replaced by the rays of the dawn, she didn't let her eyes wander from the image of her beloved elder brother — as if waiting for him to awaken. As if waiting for him to tell her that everything had been a prank.

That even the funeral was a prank.

That even the cremation had been a prank.

That the urn in her room didn't have his ashes inside.

However, Ken did not get up and tell her he was joking no matter how long she waited.

Eventually, around noon, maids appeared in the video. They were surprised that Ken was seemingly sleeping on the sofa instead of the bed. Then they found a note right next to the laptop and a look of horror appeared on their faces after reading it. They checked his pulse and confirmed that he wasn't breathing anymore, all while shouting and screaming, alerting the guards and the hospital staff nearby. Multiple people showed up on the screen, checking her big brother's pulse just to make sure. Even after violently shaking him awake, he still didn't wake up. There was even an old doctor — who Kyouka could vaguely remember was named Dr. Murphy — who had broken down crying in front of Ken's corpse and had to be dragged away by the other male nurses.

'Ah... he was at the funeral too.'

Kyouka could roughly remember the doctor expressing his condolences to her during the funeral. She recalled answering him just like all the others. He had been one of many there, but seeing his genuine reaction on the screen, Kyouka wished she had taken the old doctor seriously and answered him with more sobriety. The old man's goodwill for her brother was obviously genuine, after all.

The two maids on the screen argued for a bit, but they eventually decided to just do as the note said. They cut off the video there and probably proceeded to send it to Kyouka, just like their young master had intended.

The video was over. For what seemed like an eternity, Kyouka sat there glaring at the screen as if daring it to show more footage, preferably of her big brother being alive and well. But all that stared back at her was her own reflection and a dark, dark screen.

Eventually, Kyouka could no longer delude herself. Ken's death finally sunk in. The dam in her eyes burst, letting the tears flow down her face in waves.

He was gone. And there was nothing she could do about it.

She would never hold him again. Never share her happiness with him again.

All she had of him was a lifetime of memories she wished to never forget and a curse that she would forever carry in her heart.

"...Goodnight, big brother," Kyouka murmured to herself as she covered her face with her hands, her palms serving as a canvas for her tears.

She sobbed and wailed until the tears dried up and her throat surrendered, all alone in the darkness.