Helluva Psionic

Loona turned the page of her magazine while Red found a place to sit down and check up on a few things. Red glanced at Millie, and Moxxie threw darts at a board while he checked up on his current energy levels.

“Good shot, hun,” Millie said.

“Thanks, dear,” Moxxie said.

Blitzo paced while Red’s various thought partitions finished their scans. His cells, saturated with psionic energy, were dragging more in. After an unknown amount of time, he finally rested, and his body was settling. His energy levels were ticking up slowly but stable.

His vision shifted into the dream layers, making note of the numerous cracks from repeated openings of a dimensional gate. They appeared like little black hairline cracks on a glassy surface. Red let his energy alter to an undetectable frequency and pushed it through the cracks.

On the other hand, he used remote viewing, a divination technique among many in the psionic arsenal, to see Earth. It was different from how he remembered it.

Red had only 25 partitions free of his 27. Two were used to monitor his body and adjust the intensity of his energy as needed. He devoted 5 to viewing the earth through the eyes lining his skull. With 20 partitions free, he felt that he was underutilizing his resources. With 20 actions on the roaster, he needed to decide what to do next.

He needed a weapon.

A jack shaped like the Imp’s tails reached and plugged into Moxxie’s head.

“Moxxie, where do demons purchase weapons.”

“What,”

“I didn’t say anything. Are you hearing voices? Do they tell you to kill?” Milly grinned, showing off the gap in her teeth. “Don’t worry; it's normal. I hear them too; mine are telling me to,” Millie whispered something in Moxxie’s ear, making him blush.

Fine, he didn’t need Moxxie to be willing to find the necessary memories. He sent over the scent of gunpowder and didn’t close up off Millie’s asshole. He might have killed them all if that had happened. No, there were gunners all over hell. He could go down any dark alley and get what he wanted. Unfortunately, none of the weapons on display were exactly right for him.

Blitzo finally lost it. “Loonie, did we have any clients come in today? Please tell me we have something. We can’t leave our studs in the stall. He’ll go stir-crazy. Come on give me something.” Blitzo said.

“Yeah, she’s waiting in the lobby,” Loona said.

Blitzo opened his mouth and closed it. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“You didn’t ask,” Loona said.

“That’s a bad girl, Loonie. You tell us when we have clients,” Blitzo said.

Loona flipped him off, and he opened the door.

A girl with bat ears and nose dressed in a Victorian-style dress with big wings on her back growled. “Finally, aren’t you the immediate murder professionals? This is horrible service.”

 Red raised his hand, and she started choking. “No bad psyker, we don’t torture customers. Put her down.” He rolled his eyes and released the sinner. But not before plugging a jack into her skull.

He blinked and then blinked again. What he found wasn’t what he expected.

She stuck her tongue out and glared at him. A smile stretched across her face. “That’s the kind of service  I’m talking about. I want you to kill my husband's entire family. They are the cause of my death. Make it humiliating.”

“Well, lucky for you, Ms. Salad Toss, we, the Immediate Murder Professionals, have a family plan. If we can’t get the job done, the next hit is free. Just give us their names and location, and we’ll get to work.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.”

…

During a minor snowstorm, they were approaching a castle in Alaska that wasn’t on any map. He could naturally feel the minds of the bats around them, somehow flying unbothered by the ice and snow. Red made a game of tricking their senses and having them dive bomb head first. It was fun to give them the sensation of falling and the need to flap quickly in the opposite direction to trick them into a doomed flight toward the ground. Telepathy was deadly. It's too bad he turned off security cameras after they were captured on film. He had already used his remote viewing on the castle, and the vampires were scrambling to put up their defenses and falling off the ramparts at super speed.

None of the vampires he executed were their targets. They were only thralls, the lowest level of vampires around.

“Blitzo, what was our client’s name?”

“Shit, I don’t know. She already gave us the downpayment. If you want to bang her, wait until we get the rest in case you’re a lousy lay. How long has it been since you got your dick wet?”

“Too long,” Red said.

“Awe, that’s a shame I could call up one of my gal pals.” Milly tapped her chin. “Well, I killed Sheril, Wendy too, Mary was such a bitch I cleaved her head off, and Becky with the big hooters, she still pisses me off. Hun, do you know anyone you could set Red up with? I think I killed all of my girlfriends?”

“You killed them all for talking to me, dear,” Moxxie said.

“Did I? Well, how about a threesome? Would you mind, hun?” Milly asked.

“You guys are a riot, but I couldn’t impose. It will happen when it happens.”

“Sir, about killing this family.” One of the thrall bodies rolled downhill and stopped in front of them. “Where did he come from?”

“We were walking into a Killzone, so while we approached, I’ve been sending illusions at the guards and tricking them into throwing themselves off the ramparts.” They stared at Red, who just shrugged. He didn’t think it was too big of a deal.

“Are any of them our targets?”

“No,”

“Shit, ok, so how many have you killed.”

“Around 80 so far,” A boom echoed through the falling ice as explosions lit up the battlements. “98,” The lower end of one of the castle’s towers collapsed, and the structure broke off, tearing from the structure. Red raised his hand, halting the fall before turning it to fall on the greater structure of the castle. “209, by my count,” Red said.

“Are any of the targets among the numbers?” Moxxie asked.

“None,” Red said.

“Shit, Stolas won’t be happy if he hears that we left a bunch of bodies behind.”

“I’m a living human,” Red said.

“Oh yeah, so it doesn’t count,” Milly laughed. “Do you get it, Mox, like Dracula?”

Moxxie laughed like it was the funniest thing he ever heard. Blitzo just looked on in disgust.

“Well, they are vampires, I think. Should I drop a satellite on them and call it a day? There was an old Soviet one in a decaying orbit, and he was sure he could drop it on the structure.”

 

“Nah, it wouldn’t do enough damage.”

“Hey, if they are all vampires, where do they get their blood.”

Red pieced together the memories he took from the thralls until he completed the picture of the situation. “A piece of some Other God in the basement produces infinite blood that they use to keep the castle fed. Its blood also keeps them fed longer and increases their vampire powers when it isn’t diluted by blood from the nobles to increase their control over their thralls. This is one of the strongholds of the vampire race and their greatest independent food supplier outside the labs growing cancerous bone marrow to produce endless blood: the human plantations in Africa, South America, and parts of Canada. I think the vampire virus is also the product of one of these other gods or maybe a great old one.”

“Thanks for the backstory nobody wanted. Where are our targets, and how do we get to them?”

“I think it's good to know more about our enemy's motivations. Do you think they will fight to the last man to hold the place or try and run?” Moxxie asked.

“You see, Mox, you’re only proving my point by asking the fucking questions we needed to know. I would give you a raise if I weren’t using it to buy Loonie the new dildo she’s had her eye on. Vibrating knot, it's what all the rich bitches have in their drawers.” Blitzo said.

“Honestly, they are conducting some ritual with the heart in the basement. I think they plan to devour each other to make one of them incredibly strong. The brother in the family, the guy who killed our unnamed client, drained her for her bloodline powers and plans to do the same to the rest of his family. Then, he will consume the fragment of the Other God and become unstoppable. I’ve been altering his thoughts to keep him from getting caught before it’s the right time. We can’t have him waste this opportunity because he’s too impatient. He’s about as strong as I was when you found me.”

 

“He’s what, we got kill him now. But you aren’t planning on it, are you?”

 

“Nah, this will be fun. I need to add a little pressure.”

 

Red held out his hand and closed it slowly. His fingerprints appeared on the castle walls and towers, first imprinted on the bricks before he squeezed down. The ground shook as Red stretched his telekinesis muscles. While it wasn’t the most efficient use of his power, it was good enough to scare a few vampires hiding in the basement.

The father let his only daughter devour him for only a chance she would have the strength to escape. She wept, red tears falling down her face along with a stream of snot as she bit him.

Her brother looked on before turning to their weeping mother and older sister. He grabbed his older sister by the throat and bit savagely into his mother’s neck, brutally draining them. His father was too weak to stop him anymore.

“Well, it looks like we won’t have to worry about the family much longer. They're eating each other,” Red said.

“Hah, that’s rich, so you said the brother was as strong as you were. Should we be worried?”

He bent his hand to the side, and the hill the castle was built upon rumbled. Red raked the castle off the hill, sending it tumbling down its side, leaving the basement with its metal roof scraped off. Bricks tumbled through the air, falling like rain for miles away.

Red sucked in a breath and released it. That took only a single partition. He needed all 27 and his leading thoughts to unleash his full power. In the dream, he had been experimented on, and his psionic energy broke his body down and regenerated, taking the lion’s share of his energy to compensate for his mind’s entrapment. The elves helped by hooking him up to a healing machine.

With his mind and body combined once again, he didn’t have to worry about breaking his body. “That depends. Do you think the son has more combat experience than me?”

 

“How old are you again,” Millie asked.

“Mid-eighties and still young,” Red said.

“How much combat were you able to experience?” Millie asked.

“About 50 years mostly fighting enemies that were stronger and better at fighting than me. I built genius god-like beings just to spar with and get good. Then, the Dragon of Nightmares made them even stronger, and I barely held up against them.

Red shrugged, “I’m not much stronger than I was.”

The moon peaked from the clouds, lighting the world, and with it came a mighty presence.

The ice stopped falling, rose, and formed into a bat dragon with glowing red eyes. A shape appeared atop its head with long red blood wings, with two great eyes staring from the joints connecting the thin membrane. The creature’s face was smeared with blood he was still licking, and his hair, a long flowing waterfall standing up on end, sparking with red bolts of lightning.

Blood leaked from his hand, covered in glowing black eyes, before solidifying into a scythe was a woman’s body in the throws of agony making up the handle. From her mouth, the blade of the weapon jutted, her face was a silent scream, and her ass was on full display, lily white and almost made of flesh if not for the metallic sheen from the moonlight.  

“Huh, her soul is mixed with his blood and pieces of the creature’s flesh to make that weapon. Why make a weapon with the weight of a woman to unbalance it?”

“I should thank you for giving me this opportunity.”

“What’s he saying?” Moxxie fired his sniper rifle and blasted the guy’s brains from his skull. The blood froze in the air before reforming. “Good shot, Mox, that’s how you kill a bastard,” Blitzo said.

 

“What kind of bullets were those?” Red asked.

“Hellfire forged demon steel jacket around a lead, why?”

“He’s regenerating,”

“Shit,” Moxxie fired again but a trendil of blood deflected the round.

 

“Keep firing. This guy is an idiot. I have a plan.” Moxxie nodded and fired a few more rounds.

“It's useless. No weapon can kill a god.” The man growled.

“He does know we can’t hear him from up there.”

“He has a god complex and is bragging about his ability to handle getting shot.” Red supplied.

“Ok, what’s your plan.”

“I’m tricking him,” Red said.

“Ok, but what’s your plan.”

“Vampires love tight, cramped spaces and being buried underground, right?” It had been a few years, but he did remember vampires had a fetish for coffins.

“That doesn’t sound right,” Moxxie said.

“They were in a hole in the ground. It might have been tight as fuck.” Blitzo said.

“I’m going to put him in a box he can’t get out of by using his vampiric weaknesses against him, like counting money; if you drop change on the ground, vampires must count it all before giving it back to you.”  He gathered the change from the castle and tossed it in the bunker.

“Hah, now you must leave your dragon and count the change.”

The vampire blinked owlishly and turned to the change Red had tossed. “That vampire had autism.”

Red only raised an eyebrow at the creature standing on an ice dragon in Alaska, holding a farm implement with his sister’s naked body decorating it.

“I don’t have autism. Stop making fun of me.” Red raised his eyebrow even higher, going so far as to create an illusion where it literally rose off his face into the air with photokinesis.

A satellite slammed into the dragon before exploding violently close to the vampire. It landed in the castle’s remains down the hill and exploded. The vampire lost his hold on his weapon, and Red yanked it.

“Yoink,” Red said and held the weapon in his hand. He hefted it over his shoulder and smirked as he fed energy into it. “You were so focused on me that you never saw the real threat coming. All I had to do was stall, and you were finished.

The vampire's body had already healed as he rose from the destruction of his pet. “Clever, but as you can see, I’m already recovered from your pitiful trump card. What’s with the scythe? Why, my good mortal, are you autistic?”

“Yes, I am,” Red said, slashing with the weapon. It handled like he was swinging a woman on a stripper pole. He used a little divination to get a feel for what the weapon needed. The answer was blood, vast untold oceans of it.

Bricks floated up at incredible speeds as he devoted several partitions to it. They encased the vampire as it summoned red bolts of lightning around itself. They crumbled into dust as Red used the scythe-only ability. The woman’s body turned into a swarm of hungry tentacles before returning to her beautiful appearance.

Tears fell from her cheeks endlessly. The vampire punched forward with a blow that could render the land. Red slammed his fist out to meet it.

Snow scattered around him from the blow as he lost ground from it. The vampire’s eyes widened in sudden realization as it turned to defend itself with a barrier of red lightning. Bricks fazed through his body, and blows of force impacted him. The bricks had been an illusion. When he released his barrier, the telekinetic blows hit him.

Red slashed, taking an arm and releasing the feeding tendrils. The arm vanished into the weapon, strengthening it. He poured more psionic energy into the weapon, feeling it become far more receptive.

The vampire clutched at his stump before smirking and growing a new pale arm. The black cloak he wore grew, and Red realized he was wearing a cloak of bats. His wings flared, and lines of red lightning blasted out at incredible speeds.

He turned his head and unleashed an eruption of electrical energy when he heard the footsteps. Red floated in the air as a bullet cracked his head to the side.

“Is this the best you can do?” Red asked.

He flashed forward and slashed another arm off, quickly absorbing it with the scythe. Red threw a kick, knocking the vampire into the air. Four remote viewing points appeared, and telekinetic hands reached out, grabbing his limbs before ripping them off. He thrust his hand out and grabbed the vampire’s torso before crushing it.

His new scythe absorbed the limbs, and he could push more psionic energy into it.

“I’m a God,” The vampire screamed.

Red’s shoulder slumped. He had given the vampire every opportunity to kick this into high gear. “No, man, you’re just inexperienced with your power. It happens you're so much stronger than me, but that power is wasted on you. Well, it's not your fault. I could hardly expect some guy from a hot topic to know how to drive a spaceship.

The feeding tendrils of his new scythe unfurled and stabbed into the vampire and drained him. His torso broke off, and he developed crab legs made of blood. The vampire turned and ran while the majority of his body scuttled through the snow. Another bullet pierced his skull, and this time, he fell and rolled from his momentum.

“I thought you said he was stronger than you.” Bltizo squinted at the vampire with his brains covering the snow. “I don’t see it.”

“He is much stronger, but he had no practice with it at my level, much less wherever his new power placed him.” Red raised his scythe and let the feeding tendrils slurp up the rest. “I think I need a weapon that is a little more family-friendly. The scythe shifted and folded quickly, going from a massive scythe to a long-barrel black pistol. Sparks of violet lightning rand up and down its cold black surface. On the handle was the barrel was the body of the woman using her perky breasts as the iron sights.”

“Well, the jobs are done with minimal damage. Let's go home and celebrate a job well done,” Blitzo said.

 

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