Homestar Saga

Chapter 54: Shoulda Woulda Coulda



"You should have stuffed them in cryo." Lissa took a swig of beer while Mims made use of the pizza cutter. The Random Encounter had jumped into the sector three hours ago, and was headed for Migo's shipyard on autopilot.

Mims shrugged. "They could have us up before a Magistrate if we did that." He finished cutting the Hawaiian pizza (Yvian's favorite) into eighths, and moved on to the pepperoni. "And it's not my job to protect people from their own decisions."

"The Magistrate?" Lissa raised an eyebrow as she took a slice of pepperoni. "After they tried to shoot you?"

"If I shot the mother and the little girl? Absolutely." Mims took a slice of pepperoni, himself. "Aggravated assault for sure, and maybe they could argue kidnapping." He took a bite and washed it down with beer. "We'd probably avoid conviction, but a felony charge would put us out of business for months before it was resolved, and a civil suit could drag on for years." He grimaced. "We don't need that kind of hassle."

Yvian swallowed a mouthful of pineapple deliciousness and asked, "Do people really sue you after saving them?"

"It's pretty common," said Mims. "I do things by the book and have one of the best legal teams in the Confed, and I still average a lawsuit every year or two." He took another bite, then added. "It's one of the reasons most people don't respond to distress calls. Hell, most privateers that do respond either sell the survivors or kill them off."

"That's horrible," Lissa said.

"That's life in the Confed." The Captain shrugged. He turned to Yvian. "Speaking of life in the Confed, what did I tell you about showing weakness?"

Yvian paused with a mouthful of pizza. She swallowed. "What?"

"You told the Tegarns you'd pay their way." Mims gestured with a beer bottle. "You showed weakness."

"I showed kindness," Yvian corrected.

"Exactly," said the human."Now they know you care. They'll take advantage."

"Take advantage how?" Yvian scoffed. "They're helpless civilians."

"What they are is desperate," Mims told her. "And that makes them dangerous."

"You're just saying that cause the kid tried to shoot you," Lissa interjected.

"Damn right," said the Captain. "Barely a day after watching me save his whole family, a ten year old boy tried to murder me in cold blood. If he'd succeeded, he'd have shot Yvian next." He gestured with a half eaten pizza slice as he spoke. "That's the kind of shit desperate people do."

"So, what?" asked Yvian. "I shouldn't try to help people?"

"Not generally, no," said Mims. "We're professional killers, Yvian. We can't afford to look soft."

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't help people when we can." "Yvian shot him a glower. Those flerg are so poor they're on the edge of Default. There's no reason we have to take their money."

"Maybe not," Mims admitted. He finished his beer, annoyingly casual. "But there's no reason to tell them we're helping, either."

Yvian almost fired off a retort before the last sentence sunk in. "Wait. Were you already planning something?"

The human snorted. "Hell no. I kill things. I'm not a charity." He cracked open another beer bottle. "But I don't have a problem with you riding to the rescue as long as they don't know that's what you're doing. Tell them insurance paid for it, or we charged the company or something." He finished his pizza slice and washed it down, then continued, "Be nice if you want. Just be smarter about it."

After dinner they went back to the bridge. Migo's Shipyard was still a couple hours away. Yvian checked the sensors, making sure no other ships were headed in their direction. No one was. In fact, there wasn't a single other ship moving from the system. Probably no one wanted to be out while the Vrrl were in the sector.

"Uh, Mark?" Lissa looked up from her console. "We've got a problem."

"What is it?" The Captain stopped scrolling through his comm logs, giving Lissa his full attention.

"We've lost contact with the Meat Missile." Lissa typed into her console, then continued. "Our link to the other captured ships has been cut, too."

A chill crawled up Yvian's legs. The Captain frowned. "That's not good." He started typing. "I'll send a comm request to the Niroco." He waited, then grunted. "No response."

"I'll try Kolva," said Yvian. She logged into the Nexus on her wrist console pulled up Kolva's contact data.

"I'll try Velga," Lissa said.

"I'm pulling up the logs from the last time we checked in," said the Captain.

Kolva didn't answer. Yvian sent another request. Lissa didn't have any luck either. Mims glared at the sensor reports from the last time they'd checked their link to the captured pirates. He cursed. "This data's two hours old. There are four groups of ships that could have reached the Niroco in that time."

"We should have kept the link open," Lissa remarked. "Then we'd know what happened."

"Meat Missile didn't have the equipment for a secure link," Yvian told her. "If we left it open, we'd have risked some asshole hacking it and stealing our ships remotely.

"Nothing we can do about it, now," said the Captain. "We leave to check on them and the Vrrl will eat everyone on Migo's station." He sent another comm request to the Niroco. "We'll keep trying to comm every half or so and deal with the Warmaster as quick as we can."

They reached Migo's Shipyard two hours later. Neither the flerg nor their ship answered any comm requests. Neither did the Meat Missile or the other pirate vessels. Yvian was worried for the Tegarns, but she told herself to focus. They were about to have more immediate problems.

Warmaster Schathach's ship, the Priderender, was docked at the shipyard. The Priderender was an elongated diamond, crimson, six kilometers in length. One half of the diamond was much longer than the other, giving the ship a dagger like appearance. The Warmaster's destroyer boasted over three hundred fifty weapon emplacements, with shields and acceleration several steps above anything the Confederation could produce.

A pair of battlecruisers served as an escort to the destroyer. Each cruiser took the form of stylized Vrrl, complete with curved fangs and three glowing eyes. Four arms reached for the void, combining with the open jaws to simulate a predator's leap. Yvian knew the arms were functional, capable of gripping a ship for boarding or simply tearing through it with plasma infused claws. Two wings of Vrrl fighters hung in the void near the cruisers, some eighty kilometers away from Migo's Shipyard.

"I still don't get why the Confed just lets the Vrrl invade," Lissa gestured at the Vrrl on the screen. "I mean, they depopulated this sector that last time they came through. You'd think the Military would at least have some patrols come through or something."

"They don't give a shit," said Mims. "The Military protects corporate interests and deals with existential threats like the Klaath. Protecting border sectors like this one is supposed to be a Militia thing, but the Flivvan Militia doesn't have the firepower to deal with the Vrrl even if they wanted to. Which they don't. People on the borders are pretty much on their own."

"It's not right," said Lissa.

"Welcome to life in the Confed." He hailed the station. "Migo's Shipyard, this is Captain Mims of the Random Encounter requesting permission to dock."

"Permission granted, human," a low growl answered. The Vrrl must have taken control of the station. "Proceed to docking bay 14-C. The Warmaster awaits."

Mims set the autopilot to dock. He put on his helmet. "Lissa, is our contingency plan ready?"

"I'm not sure fission bombs qualify as a contingency plan," Lissa pulled up the weapons console. "But yes, we're all set up."

"The torpedos are just step one," Mims reminded her. "Once the Priderender's dust, you'll have to come blast open an exit and get us. Stay close to the hull, or you might get stuck outside the station's shields."

"Are you sure they won't raise shields while they're docked?" Lissa asked. If the Warmaster's destroyer raised shields, they had no hope of taking it out. It would swat the Encounter out of the sky long before Lissa could effect a rescue.

"They haven't so far," said Mims. "But if things go bad, you'll have to be quick. Be ready to fire the second I give the signal."

"You know," Yvian remarked. "This is a pretty big risk we're taking. If Scathach isn't just here to talk..."

"Then we're fucked. I know." Mims scratched the back of his head, a symbolic gesture since he was wearing a helmet. "But we've got no choice."

Yvian smiled at him before putting her own helmet on. "I think it's great. You know. I didn't think you cared about Migo at all, but here you are putting our lives on the line. For free, even." Maybe he wasn't as cold blooded as she thought. Yvian might just be proud of him.

"Fuck Migo," said Mims. "If Scathach blows the station we'll lose the Recompense. That ship's irreplaceable. I can't let it happen."

Lissa rolled her eyes. "And here I thought you'd finally started to grow as a person."

"Just be ready to rescue us," said the Captain. "Yvian, you're with me. Let's go see what the Warmaster has to say."


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.