I Am A Carnivorous Plant

I excitedly waggled around my renewed tendrils, waving them all over and attempting to do all manner of complex movements with them. Wow, they’re really really back! That’s incredible, they’re completely fixed back to how they were! How did I even do this?! It felt like magic. Was that really what it was? Am I some kind of magical plant? Am I *gasp* a rare magical plant? Am I the type of mythical item people go searching through dangerous dungeons for? But what would a mythical plant item even be? I guess mandrakes are the only mythical plants I’ve heard of people going looking for before, am I maybe one of those? Ah, but those are supposed to be root vegetable type of things, and I grew up above ground. I also have no way of making any kind of a loud cry like they’re supposed to once they’ve been picked…

 

Well, even if I’m not a mandrake, I’m sure there’s plenty of other kinds of magical plants out there.

Sadly, though, I don’t think I look like any of the other few fantasy plants I can think of.

Oh well, I’ll properly grow up and find out one day, I’m sure.

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey!

 

Anyways there’s something much more important I’ve got to figure out at the moment. How in the heck did I even manage to heal myself like that?! Yeah I’m sure it’s magic or whatever, but like, how!? It wasn’t just a fluke and I can totally do it again, right? If so then I’d really like to get my beloved petals and leaves on my right side back too. Ok, so what happened when I fixed my tentacles? I was frustrated, I wished really hard, I felt weird, my digestive sac tingled, and then the magic happened. That doesn’t sound super hard, but if it was easy it probably wouldn’t have taken me so many hours to finally pull off, now would it?

 

Alright then! Let’s do it!

Ok, think about my petals! Think about my leaves!

Oh man, I sure do hate that they’re gone!

They were precious padding, and they also made me look super cute!

Now my beautiful foliage is in tatters and my stems are exposed!

Ooooh I really really wish my leaves and my petals were perfect again!

Please please pretty please fix up my leaves and petals, magic!

 

…Yeah. It didn’t work and now I feel like such a dork.

 

I’m starting to rethink the whole ‘not being a fluke’ thing. Did I do something wrong? Because absolutely nothing happened. It can’t be that I have to wish for it for hours like I did earlier… right? If that’s the case, then magic becomes way less awesome and way more annoying. Let’s hope that’s not the case and it’s just because I did it wrong somehow just now. Did I do anything obviously wrong? I guess I pleaded more instead of actually shouting out a demand like I did the first time. Could it be that instead of wishing I had to tell my body to do it?

 

Fine then, test number two!

I want my leaves and petals fixed now!

Pronto!

Chop chop!

Now!

Do it!

 

Mmm nope, yelling out my demands at my body doesn’t seem to be the answer either. What am I missing? Is it some specific word or gesture or phrase, like how they always show magic working in movies? Please please please don’t let it be that I just have to spend hours thinking about what I want like I worried about earlier. Hmmm… Well if we’re trying to get really specific, I was waving the part I wanted healed and I specifically said that I wanted it to grow back already, I think? I don’t think the waving is the key, considering it would be impossible to wave something that was completely removed, right? I suppose it doesn’t hurt to still do it though. So then maybe is it because I said I wanted it to grow?

 

I lightly shook the remnants of my tattered petals and leaves just in case, and thought as hard as I could that I wanted them to grow.

Almost immediately I felt the same tingling sensation from my seed to my digestive sac as before.

It was working again!

I found the magic word!

It wasn’t a fluke after all!

 

My broken stems, leaves, and petals all looked like I was watching a plant growing time lapse video.

 

I did a tentative little shake, and my petals and leaves rustled just like how they used to. It’s back! I’m complete once again! Woohoo magic! Yayyy~ magic! Oh my gosh it’s just so nice! Congrats to me for figuring out the magic word! I am the uber-plant! All the other plants will be green with envy! (Teehee)

 

Ah wait, no no no, I seem to have missed a patch lower down on my body. But the rest of it looks so pretty and renewed, so what happened??? Was it just too large of an area to do all at once or something? I guess let’s try again then! I tried commanding the specific area to grow, but there was no glowing or restoration to be had. I know I did it right 'cuz I could feel the tingle come up from my seed, but when it made it to my digestive sac… it just hurt. Is this… Is this hunger? Is this what hunger feels like in this plant body of mine? But I’ve never been hungry before in this life. It almost feels like I’ve committed some kind of great sin upon myself.

 

Have I been foolish enough to not connect the dots?

The reason the magic went to my digestive sac first is so obvious now!

It’s been using up my precious nutrients!

Agh, it’s just like coffee! If I use too much magic it’s gonna stunt my growth!

Nooooo!

How am I going to be a beautiful awe-inspiring plant when I’m growing up like this?!

 

Ah ah quickly! Let’s go hunting and save my poor starving body!

 

~~~

 

And so, once I was more rational after a small massacre of birds and admittedly even a few random snakes I’d found (seems they’re not so immune to poisonous gas heh heh), I was back in tip top shape! In the middle of snacking on a few eggs I even begrudgingly healed that last little patch of foliage I’d been missing, too. I’m happy that I have access to magic, but if it means using it will suck away all my hard earned nutrients, then… maybe I don’t really want to be using it.

 

Except…

Well…

Maybe I can use it to cheat just a little?

If I can use it to make my cute little plant body grow up even faster, then wouldn’t it be the same as if all my nutrients went towards my growth anyways?

I’ve always been impatient, so this method seems just perfect for me!

Alright, when the sun comes up in a moment I’ll give it a shot!

 

~~~

 

Ok so it seems like it definitely doesn’t work like that.

Absolutely nothing happened.

 

If my guess is correct, then the magic just lets me restore what I already have. I’ll just have to leave any further growth up to good old natural nature and time then. And here I’d thought I had found some sort of secret! How sad! I suppose I’ll just bask in the sun and try to mentally recover from this as I rest. Please do your best to grow, plant body of mine. If it’s time you need, I’ll give it to you.

 

Goodnight.

 

~~~

 

Once again, I am a fool. I have made a foolish, foolish mistake. I foolishly let my mind get distracted by ideas of growth, and foolishly forgot how vulnerable I am. I foolishly found a small clearing with a nice view of the sun and set up there, where I’m completely open for attack. And what’s more, in my disappointed mindset, I foolishly forgot to release my poisonous gas as I slept. It seems I’ve already forgotten the promise I made to myself after I learned of its power. How absolutely foolish of me.

 

And now, a new foe has appeared.

…I’m completely screwed.

 

In front of me, a large lumbering beast has appeared. Me, who is now only slightly smaller than the knee height bushes people plant on the side of their homes, is no match for such a big opponent. Despite its slow movement, I had no illusions that my tiny root-feet could ever possibly allow me to outrun it when it was already this close. As I was stricken with panic it turned around a tree, and I finally caught a glimpse of its form.

 

It was the size of a cow, but it looked… like a capybara?

 

How freakish. I’d never seen a capybara in real life in my past one, but I know for a fact that there was no way they could ever reach this big of a size! And they were rodents, weren’t they?! That means they can eat veggies too, right?! Aaaah it’s unsafe it’s unsafe why was I not paying attention noooo~! If this thing decides to take a bite out of me it’ll end up 20 times worse than that time with the deer! I can see its eyes locking on to me already! I must be so delicious looking! What do I do?! It’ll take me a moment to pull my roots out, and there’s no way I can run away from it. I can only use my poison while my roots are down, so that’s convenient since they already are, but this thing is so big… I’ve only ever tested my poison gas on small things, who’s to say how effective it is on something so large? If I aggravate it and it stomps on me… Something that massive will surely break my seed! Oh no…

 

In a last ditch effort I decided to act before it could get too close! If I could scare it for only a second (while it was outside of stomping distance) then maybe I could take that opportunity to uproot, make a break for it, and hide up in a tree or something! I used the same (failed) trick as before, waving my tentacles menacingly, trying to send out the signal that I’m clearly super dangerous! For a moment I thought it worked, as the capybara seemed to have paused. But then, as I began to remove my roots from the ground as quickly as I could, the capybara once again continued its leisurely stroll. Thankfully… its course had changed, and instead it went slightly to my right to nibble on some fallen berries from a bush a small distance away. I finally managed to get free and tried my hardest to scramble away, but when I made it close to a tree, a loud thumping sound resounded in the clearing. I looked back at the noise, and crazily enough… the capybara was laying down on its side, and it was even snoring! It looked like it was just enjoying basking in the sun, like me.

 

Are they… Are they peaceful here too? I always saw a billion pictures of capybaras getting along with all different kinds of creatures. Perhaps they’re everyone’s friend no matter what world you’re in. I suppose them being especially large wouldn’t mean that their temperament would change… I watched the big sleeping rodent from the base of the tree for a while, but nothing changed. It certainly didn’t seem like it wanted to go after me.

 

Let’s… do some science.

Let’s get closer… closer…

 

I got an arms length away from its head and waited. Still nothing happened.

I came up behind the top of its head where it couldn’t easily bite me. Still nothing.

I reached out one long tentacle to poke its back. Nothing.

I tentatively pet its side. That one got a small wiggle from the capybara, but it seemed to look like a good wiggle, so it should be ok.

Cautiously I climbed up and landed on top of it. No reaction.

 

Eventually as I continued my experiments, three more capybaras showed up. They sniffed at me at first, but when they realized I could move, they instantly gave up on me and laid down near the first capybara. They quickly began snoring peacefully, and didn’t ever spare me another glance.

 

Huh, I guess these things are super docile. That’s actually really amazing, I was pretty sure that every herbivore would be going absolutely bonkers trying to eat me; I totally must be delicious. These capybaras are really really nice! I think they might just be my favorite animal now.

 

Pat pat.

Nice capybaras.

When I’m big and strong you’ll all be spared.

I’ll keep you all niiice and safe.