I Am A Carnivorous Plant

You know, ever since I came and saw the wolves were busy eating something, I’ve been wondering what it was. Sure, it was white and bloody, but like, that’s pretty much everything I’ve seen up here. Pretty sure there’s some tiny wildlife shuffling around the place, like maybe stoats or something, but the thing the wolves were eating looked way too big to be any of those, so I was curious what it was, considering that I actually found the wolves quite weak. And when the yetis joined into the fray, that second, weaker yeti had gone over to whatever it was that the wolves had been eating, and had spent most of the fight there, crouched down without moving very much. So yeah, I totally wanted to see what the thing was!

And then I got really sad.

I guess those two yetis I just fought were this poor thing’s parents or something.

No wonder those weak wolves were able to take down a yeti...

Eh, I’ve long since gotten over the guilt of eating something’s babies. I mean hey, I eat eggs, and those are the bird's  babies, aren't they? I wouldn’t do it if there were any other options, of course, because I still have mom’s morals in me to some extent, but nature is nature, and you can’t help how cruel nature can be to the weak. The wolves have to eat just like everything else, and with how small the other prey I’ve seen around here are, it’s to be expected that they’d try and hunt down something bigger.

But yeah, I do feel bad for it, and I feel bad for its parents whose revenge I got in the way of.

In the end, I decided to bury the poor thing and not eat it. I struggled against the parent yetis too hard to give them up, but for sure I had to leave the little one alone, or else mom’s ghost would probably have killed me. I’m sorry, yetis, but I promise, I’m eating you for a good cause~.

So then, after having a little burial service, I turned my sights back to the two yetis and got to work. I’d already spent too many resources against them to summon back Shui and use it to break off pieces for me, so I decided to be frugal and do the work myself, like some kind of peasant who didn’t have the ability to summon minions to do my bidding. It’s my luck that the yetis were much weaker muscle-wise now that they were dead, and I was able to rip off their limbs to eat, or else I would have had an awful time trying to make it through their hides. Honestly, I’m starting to think that I should replace this (now cut up and ratty looking after the fight) wolf pelt that I was wearing with theirs, considering how tough it is. Would probably do a much better job for me, if I’m being realistic. This wolf one’s much cuter, though…

But yeah, after eating the limbs, I totally gave up and just resummoned Shui. I don’t have all day! What do you think I even have this bush-dog around for, if not to cut through things for me?!

For the record, the yetis were freaking delicious. It was like eating humans for the first time, I was so amazed by how rich and nutritious the things were. And of course, they were overflowing with the Water Spirit’s magic, being the thing’s creations and all, so I was really happy with how much I was getting out of ‘em. Combine that with the passive magic gain that was seeping in through my roots, and I felt the urge to continue photosynthesizing all over again!

You know what was absolutely nowhere to be found, though, no matter how much cutting Shui did?

The freaking Aqua Cores I came here for!!!

I checked both of the yeti’s bodies, but there wasn’t a single damn stone to be found! I even got so anxious and crazy that I eyed up the grave I dug, wondering if maybe that one would have had a core in it, before I smacked myself a few times and snapped out of it. For a while I wondered what had gone wrong, and I even began to doubt the words of the giant snake, thinking that maybe it had misled me on purpose so that I wouldn’t be able to kill its precious Aqua Cores or something, but after eating for a while more and relaxing, I finally came to the conclusion that I just really didn’t want to accept: These weren’t the Ice Guardians that I was looking for.

So, if these aren’t the Ice Guardians, then how freaking screwed am I? That fight with the yetis was already tough, and now I’m being told that these things weren’t even the toughest monsters around! And I’m betting, if the giant snake’s warnings are anything to go off of, that the Ice Guardians are gonna be significantly harder than these yetis, since I didn’t get a single warning about these things before coming here. Heck, even if they’re only slightly harder, I’m still probably not going to be very effective against them. So then what in the hell am I supposed to do, here? I guess… Maybe I do some training? The snake did say that I shouldn’t rush, so maybe I take it up on its words and use this place to get stronger before I take those guys on. That doesn’t sound too bad, does it? I know I like to rush, but getting strong first is totally more important.

Still, nothing says I can’t be speedy about how I get stronger, right?

I think I might have just thought up the perfect plan, evil laughter and all!

~~~

So really this isn’t a very different plan than the one I’ve used before. I set up my web like a spider, I wait for my prey to come, and I trap them until they suffocate from my gasses, blah blah blah. Great, cool, ya love to see it. But this time, I have a few helpers that can make the process better for me! Well, I say helpers, but really I only plan to have one do my dirty work this time.

Everybody, say hello to Lily!

I decided that the best one to help me on this would be, well, me, and so I grew the mini version of myself, and even settled on a little nickname for her. Really, it’s just a shortening of my name, but hey, if the shoe fits, right? I’m not here to be creative and good at naming, I’m here to eat and grow stronger! Stop trying to ask more from me! Hmph!

Anyways, the reason it’s just Lily helping me right now is because she’s not in her baby form, and it’s already really straining my resources. In fact, I summoned her in the form I had when I had just gotten my cherubic little petal-body! Ah, those were the days. I looked so small, so sweet, like a little (wrinkly skinned) angel, and this stupid seed still hadn’t tried to make me a bombshell like mom yet. My only flower was the one, beautiful camellia on my head, and I was so darn proud of it. Ah, memories. But it is odd seeing me looking up at myself though. And even if I don’t have eyes (me, or the little Lily version of me), I can still clearly tell that it’s looking directly at me. In fact, it won’t stop looking at me. It’s kind of really creepy. Don’t know if I’m gonna get used to that.

But yeah, having Lily in this form, even though it’s not even my adult one, is already doing a number on my resources, so she’s gonna have to be enough. I’m sure you can already guess what I plan to do with her, but let me tell you anyways! See, I’m gonna stay here, all nice and safe and primed for action, and she’s gonna go out fishing for me, and bring back whatever tasty things she can find. If it’s something small and easy to kill, she’ll kill and eat it on the spot, but if it’s big and dangerous, like the wolf packs or the yetis, then she’ll run ‘em to me, and snare them all right into my trap! It’s like killing a dozen different birds with one stone! I get to photosynthesize, and because she’s roaming around, my pool of prey will widen exponentially!

Ah, I feel like a queen~!

Alrighty then, cue the montage!

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AN: Ayyy we're back and we made it to the funny number!

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