I Am A Carnivorous Plant

AN: Happy new year everybody!

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So of course, before any more persuading could be done, I had to fix up Til’s broken ribs. I can’t believe he was even willing to have such a long conversation with me after I messed him up like that! Honestly, it just goes to show how kind and patient Til is, even if part of his patience is totally fueled by how scary I must be, heehee.

 

But you know what?

I’m okay with him being so nice just because I’m scary!

It means I’m partway to my goal of being a big terrifying plant!

Getting to keep the hot elf with me is just a perk!

 

So yeah, after I fixed his ribs, he wouldn’t let the conversation about me being his pet go on any further, so that naturally ended. But you know, I don’t think it really matters anymore. He’s right, I’m a big scary plant, aren’t I? Well maybe not quite big just yet, but definitely scary. And pretty, too! And if I’m so spooky, who’s going to stop me if I just tag along with Til? It’s possible that if he gets enough time around me, he’d come to realize just how kind and pretty and amazingly useful I can be! And if that’s the case, then I’m sure he’ll eventually agree to keeping me around as a pet or lover or whatever, right? Right!

 

Besides, I’m bored.

I can only wander around aimlessly looking for cool stuff for so long before I get tired of it, you know?

If following Til means I get to see some new sights, then I’m all for it!

Plus, it means I won’t have to just go around guessing all the time!

Although maybe figuring some things out for myself was kind of fun…

 

~~~

 

Following after Til wasn’t going to be so easy if he was shackled all the time by one of my tentacles, so I performed a trust test. I let him go! And you know what he did? He immediately put a huge amount of distance between us!

 

Yeah, maybe my iron wall of pride was a little bit scratched by that one.

 

Til eyed me up for a while, and his hand rested on the sword at his hip the whole time he did it, too. Honestly, if he decided to fight me then things might just get scary... Or, well, no, actually since I was so crazy fast, I don’t think I’d have much to be afraid of. I haven’t really gotten to see him move at his maximum speed, but considering how easily I captured him the first time, I wasn’t too worried.

 

Swords and fire magic are only spooky if they can actually touch you, you know?

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Til is very powerful around these parts. I mean, wasn’t he the only one who survived amongst all the other elves who came to fight that monster? I’d be amazed if they didn’t send some of their tougher soldiers against that thing… Oh, unless my perspective is totally skewed, and that monster wasn’t really all that tough. But I think I remember Til saying that the treant I killed was the one keeping this monster in check? And that’s why they had to come kill him, right?

 

I’m pretty sure that treant was very very tough, or at least he seemed like he had some really good battle tactics. Maybe not enough to beat me, but for sure, he was really very strong I think! So yeah, if the treant was strong, and yet he didn’t kill the monster, but Til (with a bunch of other elves) killed the monster, then doesn’t that make Til about as strong as him? Or maybe moreso?

 

It makes me really proud of him the more I think about it!

Still, since I can easily wrap him up as snug as a bug in a rug, I’m clearly the apex predator around here.

And everyone better not freaking forget it!

 

Anyways yeah, so after Til thought about it and acted all silly for a while, he realized that trying to defeat me wasn’t going to work, and he sighed and gave up! Or well, I’m guessing that’s what happened. Who knows, maybe he developed enough feelings for me over the little while we were together that he just couldn’t bear to try and attack me again! Eh, but the way he was mussing his hair with his hand made it look like maybe it was the first one... Ah, oh well, it’ll be the second option one day, I’m sure of it!

 

“Haah… You mightn’t happen to be letting me go right now, would you?”

 

=Huh? Of course not, silly! Jeez!=

 

I made a little shooing motion with my tentacles at him. If I could have smiled at the annoyed look on his face, you can bet that I would have right now.

 

=Go on, start walking. It’s getting a little dark, but I promise I can protect us from anything that might wander our way.=

 

Til’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Clearly he hadn’t understood me properly yet.

 

“...Start walking where?”

 

=You know, 'home'! Don’t you elves have a home? I’m sure you’re tired from being out all this time. Don’t you wanna go home and get some rest already?=

 

Of course, getting him to take me home is an obvious step in my ‘pet plant’ plan, whether he took me there willingly or not. And either he figured out this intention of mine, or he was just apprehensive about taking me to where he (and supposedly all the other elves) lived, because he was certainly giving me an incredulous look right about now!

 

“...What game are you playing with me now, L’Lan’e’frea?”

 

=Uh… The go home game? The game where we go home?=

 

“You’re fully aware that that’s not what my words meant!”

 

=Yeah? But it’s not a game, I just really want to escort the big beefy elf in front of me home, you know?=

 

For about the thousandth time today, Til sighed and covered his face with his hands. Mmhmm~ yup! It’s still hilarious to me!

 

“Mother forest, I’m getting so tired of this...”

 

=Then we should really be getting you home, right? Oh, if you’re too tired right now then I could always just take you there after you point the way. I could carry you like a lil’ baby and everything if you’d like!=

 

I moved closer, with my tentacles threateningly wiggling towards him like they might grab him at any moment, and Til quickly turned and marched his way through the trees without even a single word more.

 

Yup yup, he’s never gonna beat me with such a delicate little mind like that, I assure you!

 

~~~

 

After a while of wandering after him, Til actually did just give up and climb up a tree to sleep. He was looking a little bit tired in the face at the time, so I was glad that he was finally getting some rest… But it’s a shame he wouldn’t let me carry him. Can’t really blame him for that though, considering how I totally cracked his ribs earlier. Really, that one’s completely my bad.

 

Oh well.

When the elf is asleep, the plant will play~!

Not anything bad for the record, you perverts; Shame on you.

Get your minds out of the gutter!

Til would totally hate me if I did anything indecent while he was asleep!

No, the elf wasn’t the only delicious thing up in the trees, you know…

I just went hunting for some nearby nests!

The eggs were calling to me!

 

I made sure to not stray too far from Til the entire time, mind you. My vision is pretty darn good when I want it to be, and what’s more, my roots are very effective at tracking vibrations, so I had multiple ways to check if he was still there. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t constantly checking just in case, though. Wouldn’t put it past my clever elf to try and escape me while I was busy like this, for sure!

 

You wanna know the interesting thing, though?

Til actually stayed up in that tree for 10 hours!

 

I wasn’t surprised that Til needed his sleep after all the stuff he went through over the past few days, what with his big fight with the monster, and almost dying, and meeting me, and meee, and… well, me. …He should feel lucky I found him, and he should feel lucky for how entertaining I am! Very few people get such entertaining plants in their life, I’m sure!

 

Plus, I’m super cute and pretty!

So there!

 

Funnily enough, when Til finally woke up and saw me hovering over him, his first reaction was to try and use magic on me. It’s really pretty to see him do it, but the water magic he pulled on me was just really refreshing if anything, you know? It felt special in a way that regular water just doesn’t. Although maybe if I ask him to water his pet plant again, I’ll also ask him to lower the pressure. Think one of my little petals might just be bruised…

 

Oh yeah, and explaining away to him why I was so close to him when he woke up wasn’t a very easy task…

…Am I really that untrustworthy?

But I haven’t even done anything to him yet!

It’s not fair!