I Am A Carnivorous Plant

As it turns out, this forest is quite big, and I am quite small.

I wasn’t just in some backyard outcropping.

I was in a full on, untamed forest.

There wasn’t even a single trail, or a hint of regular passage!

The only signs of civilization I ever found were the occasional piece of a human corpse.

…Could it be I’m in one of those rural forests people like to dump bodies into?

I guess… that would be a really good thing for me?

I’m a plant that eats what once was living, so I suppose finding free food like that would be perfect, wouldn’t it?

It’d almost be like ordering delivery!

 

Every time I passed by a bit of a discarded corpse, I tried to find a way to fit whatever was small enough into my mouth. A discarded torn up hand? It’s mine now! Might that be an eye? Do eyes have nitrogen in them, even? Well, it still looks like it might be delicious, so... Doesn’t hurt to eat it anyways!

 

Either something big and dangerous must live around these parts, or I really did find the dumping ground of some nefarious person or organization. If it was the second one then I’m sure they wouldn’t mind letting me be the one to dispose of these free meals for them, and if it was the first… Well, hopefully they didn’t like the taste of plants. I’m certainly not a fast little thing, maybe I could get away with camouflage instead. All I can hope is that whatever planted my seed here did it because this area is perfectly safe and abundant for me!

 

I meandered around the place slowly and steadily. I’d been eating a steady supply of nutrients throughout the night, and the sun was starting to rise once more, caressing the canopy with a pink glow. The sun’s rays would occasionally peek through a parting in the trees, creating a tantalizing glowing spot amongst the darkness. I searched until I found a safe looking spot beside a small fallen log, deciding this would be the best place to rest my weary body. My roots dug in, and my foliage unfurled, rising up slightly to bask in the life giving rays. Without realizing what I was doing at first, the lid of my mouth opened slightly, and a bitter smell began to spread in a small area around me. I could only guess that either the gas I was gently leaking from my stomach was actually poisonous, and this was an instinctive defense mechanism now that I had made it to this mobile phase, or… maybe it was all a big bluff, and it really was only just a smell. I hope it’s the first! I don’t want to wake up eaten.

 

Well anyways.

It’s time for good little plants to close their (nonexistent) eyes, rest, and photosynthesize.

 

Goodnight~

 

~~~

 

Although I might have been busy photosynthesizing in the sun, I actually wasn’t really as asleep as I expected to be. My roots that had been busy trying their best to suck in whatever nutrients it could find in this seemingly starved forest soil would sometimes pick up vibrations from the ground. And my leaves and petals that had been raised skyward as if praising the sun would sometimes pick up changes in the air currents. I could easily tell when something was coming my direction.

 

My reaction choices varied depending on what I felt:

Did it feel like hooves?

Get up and hide!

Was it small?

Depending on how small, I might be able to scare it away! Or maybe even eat it!

Was it big?

If it has paws I’ll most likely be fine, however if not then hide!

Was it a little bit bigger than me with paws?

50/50 chance that it might try to eat me, so hide until I know what it is!

 

In the end, my sleep was disturbed with moving and hiding quite a few times. Besides, I also needed to maximize my time in the sun, so shifts in position roughly every hour or so were needed. Uprooting myself, turning the roots back into tiny feet, moving, and then replanting myself just so I could be back in the sunlight was such a huge pain! I couldn’t help but think that everything would be so much easier if I lived a life like a sunflower in a large flat plain. How easy it would be to always catch the sun then! However, considering I’m carnivorous and must seek out my food, perhaps such a place wouldn’t be suitable for me.

 

After I had readjusted my position and had returned to resting after what felt like a million times, I could feel a small rodent running through some nearby underbrush in my direction. It must have realized that dusk would be approaching soon, and had planned to move under the shroud of the oncoming darkness. It was so small, maybe only a quarter of my size. I was sure it could just barely fit inside of my mouth if it didn’t thrash too much… Meaning that the quicker I was, the more successful it would be! I hadn’t yet spewed any gas out since moving, so hopefully the smell had dispersed enough.

 

I stayed very still and kept my mouth sealed shut just in case. I felt the rodent slowly crawling closer and closer. I waited patiently, like a diligent hunter, and when my prey finally came close enough for me to attack, I snapped into action! My tendrils reached out at a speed faster than the rodent could turn away, wrapped it up so that it could barely struggle, and then tossed it into my now wide open mouth! I heard a long shrill squeak trill out as it fell directly into my digestive juices. The splash of it falling into my tiny lake was quite loud inside of me. The sizzling was louder this time than the others, as this was the first time I was consuming something with fur. The rodent desperately splashed around and thrashed, but unless it was very good at climbing or could learn how to fly, it had no way to escape. As my enzymes did quick work, the rodent’s screams swiftly died down, and the splashing stopped. It took less than a minute for my effective juices to digest the rodent afterwards.

 

I already knew that I liked eating things, and that the splash from things falling into my digestive juices gave me quite a kick. However, I didn’t realize that the feeling of something continuously splashing for a little bit could feel as fun as this! I really liked it! And then the way that same thing that had just been splashing a second ago simply vanishes amongst my juices only moments later? It was just like magic! Eating in this carnivorous plant body was really really fun! Was this what it felt like to be a predator? Was this my predatory instincts responding? How amazing! I want to eat more! I already feel like I’m getting great nutrients just from the random scraps I picked up so far, but what if I actually try to hunt down my own prey? I could get so many nutrients and grow so big and strong! I’ll be a gigantic scary plant! Even the wolves, bears, and tigers will fear me! There’ll be legends about what a ferocious plant I am! The top of the food chain will be me!

 

Of course, standing here rooted to the ground, waving my adorable little tendrils and rustling my pretty little petals and leaves, I’m sure I don’t paint such an intimidating picture yet. I should settle down. Future plans are indeed for the future, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself just yet. I’m still a small, weak little plant. ...For now.

 

~~~

 

Night finally arrived, and with it I had hatched a plan!

Tonight was the night I began operation night terror!

 

During the day I’d heard glorious birdsong above me in the canopy. They flitted about amongst the branches of the trees, only occasionally coming down to the forest floor, only to return back to their cozy nests. They sounded like small, fragile little things, the kind that would break a leg if you held them too tightly in your hands.

 

…They sounded delicious!

 

As the forest grew darker, and all the good little birds had gone to bed for the night, I slowly made my way to a nearby tree. I had paid attention to where the birds had gone home to, and I knew at least one of them had a nest in this very tree. I extended my tendrils to the limit, climbing the tree as if I were some kind of invasive vine. I slithered my cute leafy body all the way up to the branches (which I’m sure had to have looked very strange, I admit), and once I felt the current of the bird’s little sleeping breaths, I headed in that direction. 

 

There was the nest.

Not only was the bird I followed here, he even had a pretty little wife sleeping with him.

And what’s more, they even had eggs!

Ah, I’m such a lucky plant!

If I didn’t think I would have fallen from the branch, I would have waggled my tentacles in joy!

 

I used my little root feet to inch closer and closer, doing my best to telepathically tell the sleeping birds that I was just a pile of leaves on their tree, and that they had nothing to fear from me. Once I deemed that I was in range, I firmly wrapped two of my tendrils around the branch for safety, and then sent the rest flying to capture both of the birds at once! The idiots were sleeping at night like absolute fools! And so I easily took hold of them and shoved the only slightly larger than hummingbird-sized birds into my mouth one after the other.

 

They barely reacted until their feathers hit my digestive juices. Maybe it was because it was so dark? I’d heard that birds automatically stop moving once it’s dark, so could that have been why? Or maybe they were just in shock. Either way, even though they tried to fly and escape my stomach, it was too late. Their feathers had already touched my juices, and my digestive enzymes were very efficient. While I was enjoying their desperate flailing attempts to escape, one of them managed to scratch me a little too well. I suppose these birds had very sharp talons, despite their small size. My digestive sac was actually quite thick and strong, as it had to be to withstand such a high level digestive acid. However, this weak little bird had actually managed to scratch it! It hurt a bit like an ulcer. I didn’t like it at all.

 

I swear that the next bird I eat is getting its legs broken if this is how it’s going to be.

 

As I pouted over the scratch, the birds finished digesting. I was eager to eat more and maybe get a little bit of revenge against all of bird-kind, but suddenly I remembered something. There were a bunch of little eggs inside of the nest! I came closer and plucked the tiny eggs one after the other, popping them into my mouth like candies. They may not have moved around like I liked inside of my stomach, but they were irrefutably great! I could feel the amazing amount of nutrients I was getting from even these absolutely teensy little eggs. After eating all of them I felt like I could sprout up as big as a bush right away! Those eggs were absolutely ungodly amounts of delicious, even if I don't have a sense of taste! If I could, I would eat all the eggs in the area as fast as humanly (plantly?) possible!

 

And so my one-sided night-time bird-based feast began.