I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

Last year, it was all about the villains.

As soon as I made my appearance, they assumed they were as good as dead, so letting them chatter away posed no issue.

Some attempted to stall by engaging in conversation, but I was more than capable of handling those delays.

However, things changed after Duoexini.

Unlike the minions from the Seven Sins Gang we dealt with before, these new adversaries also took time to study and devise escape plans upon my arrival.

So, I first induced a concussion and then crushed their legs.

[Are you coming back to your senses?]

“Uh, uh….”

Laplace grimaced, lying sprawled on the floor.

Still, as he was one of the nation’s top ability users, a severe blow to the head didn’t kill him, and he swiftly came back to consciousness.

“…Heugh?! Aaaah!!”

[You can’t escape. You are already within my domain.]

Laplace screamed in agony, thrashing about in a desperate attempt to flee, and tried to muster magic power for a counterattack.

[It’s futile. While you were unconscious, I blocked all the abilities you could use.]

“What, what did you say…?”

[I physically shattered your joints. And your mana too. No matter how hard you try to generate mana, it will simply surge and burn.]

This was a hallmark of fire-type abilities.

Employing stronger magic power to incinerate the opponent’s magic power, the ‘Mana Burn’ ability.

Any pyromancer worth their salt was familiar with this ability, and Gunggi stood at the zenith of this domain.

Naturally, I did as well.

[Before I proceed to execute you, allow me to ask you something.]

I drew out a photo I had prepared beforehand.

It wasn’t a tablet but a rigid photo, and in that photo were the white-haired children I had targeted as ‘The Dark Charisma.’

[Did you orchestrate this?]

“Ha. That entity you refer to as ‘The Dark Charisma,’ was it all a plot…?”

[I’m not certain about that. I only review the materials that are submitted to our association.]

Nonetheless, as the leader of an organization, Laplace quickly grasped the situation merely by glancing at the photo.

Of course, there was no connection to the Sephiroth Knights.

[Those justice otakus don’t know, but they had quite interesting materials.]

It wouldn’t have been known unless the Sephiroth Knights had reported it to the association.

[The children who were meant to be swapped with the Zenros. When I traced those children back, I ended up in Phuket, and wondering where in Phuket the children were transported from, it turned out to be a place you were managing, Laplace. Your slave island.]

“…Keuk.”

Laplace chuckled and reached into his pocket.

I thought he might pull out a gun to commit suicide, but instead, he tried to light a cigarette.

[Where do you think you’re going?]

“Aaagh! Damn it!! Even if I’m going, let me have just one cigarette!!”

[Pretending it’s a cigarette while you suck on mana powder to recover your power is an old trick I’m tired of.]

I kicked the cigarette Laplace had taken out and sent it flying far away.

Though it was rolled up like white paper, it wasn’t filled with tobacco leaves but bone powder.

[And I don’t have any honor to let someone like you have a cigarette before you die.]

“Ke, hehe…! You seem to have something to ask, but do you think I’ll cooperate when you come at me like this…?!”

Laplace flicked his middle finger at me and sneered.

“Me, after enduring such humiliation, damn, do you think I’d give you the answer you want?!”

[Everyone said that. And always, in the end, they inevitably spit out the answer. It’s alright. There are many ways to extract answers from ones like you.]

Overabundant.

However, getting an answer from Laplace can wait for now.

[Did you want to destroy the island with missile strikes using the General Jeokrang? What was on that island?]

“…Shit, you know everything already…!”

[Yes. I know everything. I know it all, but those things are too repulsive to utter. If I say them out loud, it would dirty my mouth. But if you insist on keeping quiet… I wouldn’t mind sacrificing myself.]

I pulled out the Goblin Bat and tapped Laplace’s cheek with it.

Laplace kept his mouth shut, and I pressed his cheek with the bat, turning his head so he could hear me better.

[Shall I tell you what you all did on that island?]

“There’s no need. Hehe. Considering your style, you probably already spread it all over the internet.”

[Oh.]

He knew well about the methods of the association.

“You guys don’t extract information from enemies. You already know everything when you come. And making me spit it out like this is just to solidify the information already spread among the people. Hehe. You think I’d be exploited?!”

[Then, as it has spread among the people, the data we found will inevitably become truth.]

It was already the truth.

[You kidnap humans, force them into slavery, and if any born children have abilities, you raise them on the island. Well-behaved children become obedient slaves for you and General Jeokrang, and the unruly ones… end up like this.]

I used my abilities to pull a cigarette pack from afar, took out a cigarette, and tore it from side to side.

[Turned them into mana powder, didn’t you?]

“…….”

[Why? Is it less burdensome to use ordinary humans as slaves, but burdensome to admit you turned ability users into mana powder on the spot? Afraid of turning the world’s ability users against you?]

Laplace didn’t open his mouth until the end.

[Is it more frightening than making Koreans of both genders breed forcibly to increase the likelihood of ability-bearing children, or burying everyone trying to expose your deeds, than making humans work in underground farms without proper sleep for even two hours? The outrage of the ability users?]

“…….”

[Well, you don’t have to answer till the end. Silence is affirmation.]

I stood next to Laplace and put my foot on his sternum.

[You seem curious about something.]

“What…?”

[I see doubt in your eyes. Why do I talk so much unnecessarily?]

“…….”

As I casually put away the bat, Laplace turned his head toward me.

[Do you think I’m merely a typical villain rambling on? Or do you believe I’m continuing the conversation to extract information from you? Or perhaps to insult you?]

“…Dirty bastard. To the very end….”

[All wrong. Of course, I’m the one who should be talking right now.]

I lightly tugged at my suit sleeve.

As soon as he saw the inside of the sleeve, Laplace’s eyes widened, his pupils filling with shock and fear.

“You…!”

[In the 21st century, a new era, even villains must adapt to the times.]

Whirring.

The ThaiWatch kept flashing.

Like a 2025 model, in a world where mana has developed, the mana watch, resembling a wristwatch but fulfilling all the roles of a flagship smartphone, is diligently performing one particular function.

[Greet them, Laplace. To the viewers of GoblinTV.]

---

“This is it.”

On a streaming site, a live broadcast video suddenly appeared.

Laichai sipped his coffee while watching the freshly started live broadcast.

“The world sure has changed. In my time, this wasn’t a thing.”

The movements were frantic, and the broadcast followed the cameraman’s perspective, whether it’s mounted on the head or the eyes, it’s unclear.

What’s notable was that he was in a place where a villain airstrike happened just 10 minutes ago, and he was the only person who could be filming there.

“The Goblin broadcasting live, huh. Heh, more effective than spreading news articles for days.”

One by one, the viewership starts to increase.

Aside from himself, who was already aware and waiting, those numbers growing from dozens to hundreds in the chat expressed all kinds of questions.

What was this?

What’s happening?

Such questions were soon resolved by the appearance on the screen.

The Goblin reflected in a mirror.

And the sight of him swinging a crimson bat, sprinkling crimson flames on the heads of prisoners in a worse state than humans, like anointing them.

[We survived! Ahhh! The Goblin saved us! No more exploding heads!!]

Amidst the broadcast, the quick-witted among the slaves began voicing their thoughts in the chat.

“……Wasn’t it General Jeokrang who enslaved these people?”

And Laichai, mingling among them, shared the truth disguised as his opinion.

“Talking about bombs on their heads, it seems like they’re wearing something similar to bomb necklaces.”

“Human trafficking would be better. From what I’m hearing, it sounds like they were killing kids and such.”

“……Heh.”

Even if it was the military, they couldn’t block a streaming site hosted on foreign servers in real time.

And if that site happened to be one where ‘the secret society’ held the majority stake.

“If the internet isn’t completely blocked, how will the General stop it? Missiles on the island won’t be enough.”

Hlorok.

Laichai took a sip of his coffee and pressed a nuclear missile button.

[Would you like to share the broadcast?]

“Yes.”

To his acquaintances, and to everyone in his contacts.

“…Sharing something good with you. Heh.”

He spread the streaming site’s address.

And those who connected to the broadcast saw the scene of Laplace getting hit on the head by a bat through a shattered window.

---

[Your current state will spread across the world in 10 minutes.]

“…….”

[The concurrent viewership is already 380,000? In 10 minutes, it might surpass a million, right?]

He wouldn’t know.

And rightly so, because I started the broadcast the moment I entered the sanctuary of the gods.

I began broadcasting without others noticing and even applied a delay, so it was bound to be unknown.

[It’s natural for a streamer to talk a lot. The main content is to expose the villain’s sins and beat the villain to death.]

I aimed the ThaiWatch at him and raised my bat high.

[Ah. From now on, this will be for mature audiences, so the rest will be available through a recorded video later. That’s all.]

I stopped the recording and then slammed the bat down.

Ka––ang!

Instinctively protecting his head with mana and absorbing the impact of my bat with his own mana, Laplace spat out red blood, and his eyes rolled back.

“Ke, heuk, keuheuk….”

[Now, it’s just you and me talking, so let me ask you one last thing.]

A question that others shouldn’t hear, one not to be shared recklessly.

[Who is Laplace’s ‘demon’?]

“……!!”

Even amidst a concussion, his eyes flickered, suddenly alert.

[Where is the demon who taught you all these methods?]

“That is….”

Just as Laplace was about to speak,

Pwhoaaaaak!!

Laplace’s head exploded.

Then, footsteps sounded behind me,

As if someone was walking in cloth shoes.

[……To grace us with your presence.]

“Nice to meet you, Goblin.”

The woman with black hair, wearing a mourning-like black dress, greeted me with a smile.

“The demon you seek from Laplace.”

Elegantly.

“She is called ‘Hyangdan’.”