I Became the Final Subjugation Target of That Era’s Light Novel

It reminds me of the first time I ran away with Koto Ne.

Back then, I didn’t know how to do anything. What could a teenage girl holding a one-month-old baby do?

Just the fact that I hadn’t been caught by someone was a miracle.

Once I got outside, I realized I didn’t know anything.

How could I go back inside and live?

What does a baby eat? How do you change a diaper? Where and how do you throw away the trash?

In my childhood, I had attended school, but once I became capable of having a child, I just stayed at home. I learned about education at home and what needed to be done at home.

So, I had no idea how to survive outside that house.

With my hazy memories, I breastfed Koto Ne, took a break when I was able, and drank when I saw running water. I don’t remember eating anything. If I hadn’t met someone willing to help me, I probably would have starved to death.

I met a good person. That kind soul spoke to me while I was walking, covered in scratches from branches and bleeding from my feet, and offered to rent out a spare room in their building.

They taught me how to live and how to survive. I was able to endure for several years there with Koto Ne.

I ran away without having properly repaid that kindness. Even now, I feel only sorry and grateful to that person, wondering if they are still there.

…After that? Well, I just kept surviving.

Koto Ne grew up strong. Even under such a mother, she didn’t turn out warped. She was calm, unlike other kids, and learned things quickly.

Yes, if Koto Ne hadn’t been that kind of child, I might not have been able to hold on. I might have had to go back without being able to protect her.

“…”

And now, Koto Ne brought a child that looks just like her.

“Uu?”

That child tilts their head while looking at me from a little distance away.

What a lovely sight. Of course! They look just like Koto Ne.

I heard that yesterday they even wore their clothes as part of their body, but Koto Ne cleverly showed her body to the child. The clothes they’re wearing now were those Koto Ne usually wears.

Sitting side by side with Koto Ne at breakfast felt warm. Although I call her ‘sister,’ Koko, who hasn’t learned anything, didn’t know the proper etiquette at the table.

Koto Ne tried to teach Koko how to use chopsticks despite her eating with her hands. Koko, after following the motion a few times, seemingly found it uncomfortable and began using her hair like chopsticks.

Koto Ne wiped her face watching Koko. It was a lovely scene, but… Koko’s actions remind me once again that her body isn’t like Koto Ne’s, like a human.

No, since she was born in the same way as a divine child, is Koto Ne’s body the same?

I hadn’t dared to imagine this out of fear—

…Well, can’t I not think about such things? Koto Ne is Koto Ne. No matter what happens, she is my beloved daughter. That fact will never change.

Then what about Koko?

The child I abandoned and ran away from—perhaps a child who needed my care even more than Koto Ne. Abandoned by her mother simply because her appearance wasn’t human.

I cannot know exactly what Koko’s true form was like.

However, due to her mother’s shortcomings, this existence was torn apart from the moment she was born, left there unable to die—is an undeniable fact.

I tried my best to control my trembling hands to finish my meal and sent Koto Ne off to school. She asked me several times with a worried expression if I was okay, but I mumbled my words by hugging her tightly.

And then, it was just Koko and me.

“Your hair is long.”

Once it was just Koko and I, I stared silently for a while before finally managing to say something so trivial.

Koko’s hair is indeed long. Koto Ne’s is also long, but is Koto Ne’s weight maintained with all that remaining?

I slowly rose from my seat.

Koko looked at me blankly, gazing up. I wonder if she wasn’t afraid. My appearance isn’t too different from Kosuzu’s.

“Is it okay if I tidy up your hair a little?”

“Hair?”

Koko responded with a clearer pronunciation than yesterday. It seems her intelligence isn’t significantly lacking, though she hasn’t learned much yet.

…And honestly, it’s probably my fault she hasn’t learned.

Even so, I still don’t know how to treat Koko. Should I just hug her? Right now, she looks like Koto Ne, but I remember how Koko looked right after she came from my body. No, I can’t remember all the details clearly. Each look was different, and it was too confusing to understand intuitively.

All I remember is that image was terrifying.

Koto Ne accepted even that image. But can I do the same? I’m not sure.

However, since Koto Ne did, I can only try.

I slowly sat back down, brushing Koko’s hair. The sensation isn’t vastly different from Koto Ne’s hair.

I have no intention to cut it. I know this part of her is also part of her body.

“…”

Ah, that’s right.

This is where Koto Ne and I differ. I’ve cut Koto Ne’s hair for a long time. At least, her hair hasn’t bled.

Slowly gathering her hair, I lovingly braided it. A little thick, one strand. So it wouldn’t drag on the ground.

“Uu?”

“Just a moment, please.”

Koko seems bothered by the touch on her hair and keeps trying to turn around… Is her vision working as it should? Since she had the appearance of a human at birth, I think it might be possible.

So, can we say her current appearance is the same as Koto Ne’s, resembling a human?

While lost in those thoughts, I finished braiding Koko’s hair. Beautiful hair, just like Koto Ne’s, looks pretty even when braided.

“There, all done.”

“Ah?”

Did she understand from my tone? Or did she learn to some extent from our conversations from yesterday to this morning? Koko seems to have grasped my words and stands up.

The braided hair swings gaily. The ends of her long hair barely avoided touching the ground.

Koko, like a puppy chasing its tail, keeps looking back to see the ends of her hair. Twirling around, bouncing in place, as if she’s having fun by herself.

Her face is graced with a smile. It’s a purely joyful expression I rarely see on Koto Ne’s face.

Even though they look the same, their personalities seem a little different.

And watching that sight makes my heart thump again. My stomach feels queasy, and my fingertips tremble a bit.

Yes.

This is who she was. Just like Koto Ne, she was a small child who simply needed help.

Still, I don’t quite understand. I don’t know how to judge Koko.

The me from the past, still present, refuses to accept this fact. I thought I was fine, that it was something unavoidable, that it was only natural to think that way.

But, how could I think such things about this child right in front of me?

I, who ran away with Koto Ne considering her my daughter, how could I think of the child I gave birth to as merely a lump of flesh?

This child, looking just like Koto Ne, is—

“Uwah?”

Koko, spinning around, stumbles. Even if I don’t catch her, she wouldn’t fall too terribly.

But without realizing it, I reach out.

Even if she doesn’t get hurt, I couldn’t just stand there watching her fall. Why is that?

I’m not that good of a person, clearly.

Fortunately, Koko tumbles towards me, falling into my embrace.

In that moment, I found myself holding Koko, who resembles Koto Ne with her long braided hair. The first child who isn’t Koto Ne.

“…”

As I silently look down, Koko smiles at me.

Is this a good thing?

Is it okay that she doesn’t have to hide and live in fear of scary people?

…Ah, yes, that’s right.

We too, were like that. So were Koto Ne and I. Hiding away from scary people.

This child, who survived in a far worse situation, has finally met us.

“Kagami?”

As if she remembers my name, Koko looks up at me and calls it out.

That might have been the decisive moment.

“…I’m sorry.”

I embrace Koko.

It’s the same.

Just like when I hugged Koto Ne, it feels warm. Even if she doesn’t resemble Koto Ne, I’m sure it would feel warm just like this.

…Because she’s alive.

Yes, I think that’s how it is.

I really was a hopeless mother.

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