I’m really not the Saviour! (我唔係救主囖!)

“Uh? Huh? Me?”

“Do you see any other Gou Dzings around here?”

“Fair point.”

“So?”

“Well, I guess we're pretty comfortable? We're a well-known family...”

“'Comfortable', he says,” Chan Bik scoffed. “One of your uncles is an advisor to the King of Sek'syun, isn't he? I've heard Gaam Go mention him.”

“A few of my family members are officials, yeah...”

“Geez, what are you being so awkward about?” Cheng Baak-hap waved a piece of pickled white radish at him admonishingly.

“I just... don't want the three of you to feel...”

“That we're poor?” Gaam Yuk Ying asked succinctly, causing Gou Dzing to spit out his tea.

“Just buy us lots of good food with all that money, okay?” Chan Bik suggested cheerfully. “I wouldn't mind my own personal weapon, either.... And some nicer clothes...”

“Uh... Sure...”

“What's your family like, Bik Si-mui?”

“Oh, well Gou Si-hing and Gaam Si-hing have already met them, so they can help me explain, but there's Mother, and Father, and Dad Se-”

“Wait, you have two fathers?”

Gou Dzing helped Chan Bik explain the situation, and Cheng Baak-hap tried hard not to laugh.

“Cheng Si-dze, what about your family?”

“Well... I don't really remember my parents. I arrived at Mount Faa when I was about ten years old, I think. My brother was only very young. Perhaps a few months old?”

Chan Bik almost dropped her chopsticks. “You have a brother?”

“Yes, his name's Baak Gat¹百吉 (baak3 gat1) – 'one hundred' and 'lucky'/'auspicious'.. He's in the Still Heart School.”

“Still Heart?” Gou Dzing asked, eyes gleaming. “What are his skills like?”

“Oh, no, I don't think he's at the level to become a direct disciple, Gou Si-hing. Sorry.”

“Why didn't you tell us about him before?” Chan Bik asked quietly.

“We're... not really that close, I guess. I never really see him, and we're ten years apart in age, after all.”

“I still can't believe you didn't say anything,” Chan Bik grumbled. “Anything else you're hiding?”

“I wasn't 'hiding' anything, Chan Bik.”

“Don't get so angry, Si-mui-”

“I'm not angry!”

“I am.”

“Why?” Gaam Yuk Ying asked. He was wolfing down most of the food while everyone argued.

“I can't believe Chan Bik accused me of hiding things,” Cheng Baak-hap snapped. “I thought we were supposed to be... f-friends. As if I would do something so mean-spirited. Do you think I'm some sort of malicious bitch?”

“That's not what I said!”

“That's what you implied!”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Gou Dzing shouted, waving his hands. “I don't think either of you meant for things to get like this. Let's just calm down for a second and talk rationally.”

The two women glared at each other but said nothing more, turning to the food instead. An uncomfortable silence stretched out between them.

“In my family there was Father and Mother and Elder Brother and me and we lived in a house that was half the size of Chan Bik's and it had chrysanthemums planted in the front and a pond with goldfish in it but they kept dying.”

“You also have a brother?” Cheng Baak-hap asked sharply.

“No.”

“... you just said your family had your father, mother and elder brother.”

“Yes.”

“So-”

“So what happened to him?” Gou Dzing asked quietly.

“He died.”

Cheng Baak-hap winced.

“How?”

“Not sure.” Gaam Yuk Ying chewed a glutinous rice dumpling meditatively. “My fault.”

“What do you mean, your fault?”

“That he died.”

His three companions stared at him.

“What... Hang on, so you don't know how he died, but it was your fault?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you say it was your fault?”

Gaam Yuk Ying stopped chewing. His brain seemed to have stopped working; he stared into the blue sky that was as empty as his gaze.

“Did... someone say it was your fault?”

“... Yes?”

“Let it all out, Yuk Ying. We'll work out what you mean.”

Even with this prompting, Gaam Yuk Ying's words were slow and stilted. “It... I don't... I don't remember. I think... I was very... young. My elder brother... I don't remember him. But... it... must have been... my fault. Everyone... was always so angry... at me. So. So. I must have done... something... wrong? I think?”

“Did anyone ever say that to you, directly?”

“... No. Maybe? I don't... remember.”

“How old were you when he died?”

“... maybe... a year old, I think?”

“How the fuck could a one year-old be responsible for someone's death.” Gou Dzing snarled. It was a statement, not a question. “So that's why they came up with that bullshit about you not wanting to learn how to write? How is that right? How-”

Gaam Yuk Ying's eyes met his directly, some kind of indefinable emotion in their silvery shine. “Thanks, Dzing.”

“Why did you think I deliberately hid my brother from you, Bik Si-mui?” Cheng Baak-hap asked softly, seeing Gaam Yuk Ying had closed the book on the discussion about his family.

“You... never said anything about him.”

“But why did you assume that was me deliberately hiding him from you?”

“Because... that's what everyone does.”

Cheng Baak-hap sighed. “I thought so. I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's not what I was doing. In spite of their... idiosyncracies, you seem to have a close family, Chan Si-mui. Not everyone's families are like that.

“Don't misunderstand, I care about my brother, but I was too young to look after him. When we came to Mount Faa, they determined his Water attribute was the strongest, so he was taken there and raised by the tutors and senior disciples. I see him every now and then, but we're little more than acquaintances, really.”

“So you don't remember anything about your family?”

Cheng Baak-hap fiddled with her plait. “Our clothes had the Cheng family crest on them, but when Mount Faa asked around, none of the Cheng families, branches or otherwise, seemed to know who we were. We were allowed to use the Cheng name, but we're not on any family registers. For all I know, I could have been a servant at a Cheng household, or an illegitimate child.”

“Or maybe someone who had to have their identity hidden!” Chan Bik exclaimed, suddenly excited. “Maybe you're the daughter of someone really important and they hid you away to protect you!”

Cheng Baak-hap burst into genuine laughter.

“Come on, everyone, let's eat. The food will go stale or Yuk Ying will devour it all. Ah!” Gou Dzing clicked his fingers. “Did you know, the Dragon and Phoenix Tournament is starting tomorrow?”

“That's right, I did wonder if that was the case – Yuk-hoi has really filled up with people over the past few days.” Cheng Baak-hap nodded.

“Is it happening near Yuk-hoi this year?” Chan Bik asked, grabbing a pork bun before Yuk Ying could claim it. “Will we see it?”

“I asked Master, but she said we didn't have time,” Gou Dzing grumbled. “If we took part, we'd be in the top ranks, easily.”

“Are you going to use your cheat skills as a direct disciple to beat up children, Gou Si-hing? That's not very righteous.”

“They're not all children!”

“So you're going to use your cheat skills to-”

“No...”

“What's a Dragon and Phoenix Tournament? Is it food?”

“Gaam Si-hing, you're the only one who would think it's food...”

“It's an annual martial arts competition,” Gou Dzing explained patiently. “You know, martial artists and cultivators always love to see who's the best, so many of them compete every year in one-on-one matches.”

“Seems dumb.”

Gou Dzing, who had just been about to brag of his three-time champion status, gaped at Gaam Yuk Ying. “What, why?”

“Because in battle there are many factors that determine a person's ability to win including their ability to work with others use terrain to their advantage the weather the type of battle-”

“Gaam Si-hing has a point,” Cheng Baak-hap interrupted, shutting off the ceaseless bombardment of his words. “We get divided into age and sex categories in this tournament, but in real life, a little girl could defeat a big man in the right conditions. A person skilled in assassination could defeat a spear expert on a dark night in a house, but put them together in an empty arena and the assassin would be at a disadvantage. The Dragon and Phoenix Tournament only attracts certain types of competitors for that reason, but I swear some people carry on like it's the most impartial way of judging ability. Isn't that right, Mister Three-Times-Champion?”

“Hey!”

“Hm, wanted to brag, huh?”

“Argh, Yuk Ying, don't look down on me too.”

“Say that when you finally beat me in a spar.”

“I don't think I'll ever beat you...”

“If you're going to get all romantic, go somewhere else.”

They finished up their beach picnic, chattering idly. As they packed up and prepared to leave, Gou Dzing couldn't help noticing the sombre air around the two girls. “Everything okay?”

“I think I'm just tired.” Cheng Baak-hap shrugged. “The past week has been... And some how, I don't feel like I've achieved anything. And then, with the tournament just going on as usual, everything feels so strange, as if I'm somehow standing outside a building looking in at everyone else.”

“Me too,” Chan Bik agreed. “Even though Lady Gong showed me all of these amazing things, and I increased my cultivation, I feel frustrated. Even... bored? Which doesn't make sense!”

“Maybe we need a break?”

“That's what today is supposed to be. We don't have any more time for a break after this.”

Gaam Yuk Ying hopped up onto the sword he had once more borrowed from Gou Dzing. “Fight me.”

“... what?”

“Uh, Yuk Ying, are you...?”

“The grassland above the teahouse. In one hour.”

Gou Dzing laughed. “He's right. Moving your body is good when you feel down. It's been a little while since any of us sparred, right? We've been doing other training.”

“Are you brains made of muscles?” Cheng Baak-hap shook her head. “Count me out.”

“Then I'll give you two hours. Lay whatever traps you want.

Cheng Baak-hap's narrow eyes widened a little.

“Smart Cheng Si-mui. Could you beat me?”

“Cheng Si-dze might be able to do it,” Chan Bik protested. “But what about me? I'm not that smart and I'm only able to use my Second Daan-tin. I'm not taking part.”

“Chan Si-mui, there'll be times when you come up against an opponent that looks impossible to beat,” Cheng Baak-hap admonished. “What will you do? Say 'I give up?' What if there are people whose lives depend on you? What if you can't escape?”

“We stepped into this place with our lives on the line Chan Si-mui,” Gou Dzing said gravely. “There is absolutely every risk that we could die. And that's... not something everyone could accept. We don't leave until tomorrow. If you decide this is not the right path for you, you can say so before we leave.”

They travelled back to the teahouse in silence, Cheng Baak-hap riding with Gaam Yuk Ying, Chan Bik on Gou Dzing's back as he tested out the surfing style of moving with the sand. With only a few words, they all broke off in their separate directions, to plan and prepare.

Two hours later, Gaam Yuk Ying hopped easily up the vertical limestone cliff to reach the field of silvergrass at the top, a faint breeze sending ripples through the waving stems. Three figures stood amongst the vegetation.

A blink, and the Grandmaster was standing behind Gaam Yuk Ying, the smoke from her pipe curling in the breeze. Gong Lau Yan and Maan Dzi King hopped up from the cliff either side of her.

“No complaints if I act as referee?” Wong Tang asked, taking a puff from her pipe.

“None, Master.”

“No, Grandmaster.”

“Thank you, Grandmaster.”

Gaam Yuk Ying nodded.

“Good. Are you all ready?”

Four more nods.

“Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Go!”