Intelligent Design: A Monster Evolution LitRPG

David stood before the ancient pinball machine, his wings twitching with excitement. The faded artwork on the backglass promised a world of flashing lights and clanging bells, a relic of a simpler time when humanity's greatest concern was getting the high score.

"Alright, you beautiful hunk of retro junk," he muttered, cracking his neck. "Let's see what you've got."

With exaggerated care, David reached out to pull back the plunger. His talons scraped against the smooth plastic, sliding off uselessly. Frowning, he tried again, this time pressing his pad against the knob. The plunger moved a fraction of an inch before slipping from his grip.

"Oh, come on!" David growled, his frustration mounting. "It can't be that hard?"

He glanced around furtively, making sure Claire wasn't nearby to witness his embarrassing struggle with pre-apocalyptic entertainment. Satisfied he was alone, David redoubled his efforts, contorting his wing in ways that would make a yoga instructor wince.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of fumbling, he managed to pull the plunger back. With a triumphant "Ha!", David released it, sending the silver ball careening up the playfield.

His victory was short-lived. As the ball bounced between bumpers and ramps, David realized he had a new problem: the flipper buttons were just as uncooperative as the plunger.

"No, no, no!" he yelped, his claws scrabbling ineffectively against the smooth red buttons. The ball rolled serenely between his useless flippers and down the drain. "Game over" flashed mockingly on the display.

David glared at the machine, his ears flattening against his head. "Okay, fine. You want to play hardball? I can do hardball."

With grim determination, he pulled back the plunger again, this time using his teeth to grip the knob. It worked, but left him in an awkward position, his face pressed against the glass as he tried to see the playfield.

"Mphmm gmm thm," he mumbled around a mouthful of plunger, which roughly translated to "I've got this."

The ball launched, and David quickly released the plunger, his head snapping up just in time to see the silver sphere ricocheting wildly around the table. He positioned his wings over the flipper buttons, ready to show this mechanical menace who was boss.

As the ball approached, David slammed his wings down with all his might. The left flipper twitched pathetically. The right one didn't move at all. The ball, undeterred by his valiant effort, once again found its way to the drain.

"That's it!" David snarled, his patience finally snapping. "You think you're so clever, huh? Well, let's see how you handle this!"

In a move that would have made pinball purists weep, David grabbed the sides of the machine and began shaking it vigorously. The "TILT" warning flashed, accompanied by an indignant beeping.

"Oh, I'll show you tilt," David growled, his shaking intensifying. The machine rocked precariously, lights flashing in distress.

Just as he was considering whether he could claim the pinball machine was actually a dangerous monster that needed to be neutralized with extreme prejudice, a familiar voice cut through his rage.

"Having fun there, bat boy?"

David froze, the machine giving one last plaintive beep as it settled. He turned slowly to find Claire watching him through the lobby windows, her expression a mixture of amusement and concern.

"I, uh... I was just..." David stammered, desperately searching for a way to salvage his dignity. "...testing the structural integrity of the pinball machine. You know, for science."

Claire's snort told him exactly how convincing that excuse was. "Right. And I suppose the machine was winning?"

David slumped, his wings drooping in defeat. "In my defense," he muttered, "this game was clearly not designed with evolved bat-people in mind."

"Clearly," Claire agreed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Come on, Edison. I think it's time we found you a less frustrating hobby. How about we go smash some rocks instead?"

As they walked away, David couldn't resist throwing one last glare at the pinball machine. "This isn't over," he hissed. "I'll be back, and next time, I'm bringing opposable thumbs!"

The machine's lights blinked once, as if accepting his challenge.