Intimancer

“Well now, aren’t you all a diverse group.”

The old orc sat behind a well worn desk, his arms folded across his chest as he watched the five hunters file into his office.  His tone implied that his words were more a statement of surprise than accusation.

Rick looked between himself and his companions.  “Is this really that odd?”  He asked.

Lilie gave one of her musical chuckles and plopped her large, armored rear into one of the chairs in front of the chief’s desk.  “It’s not entirely unheard of, but most tribes tend to stick to their own.  More often than not I would usually be the only member who wasn’t a human or beastkin since they are the majority of Shatak’s population.”

“Aye.  That’s a better way to put it.  I didn’t mean to cause any offense to the people who’ve come to help us.”  The village chief said with a slight bow of his head.

“No offense taken.”  Sade said before taking her own seat.  “We are indeed an odd group, in more ways than one.  The only thing that would be even more surprising is if we had a high elf with us as well.”

That caused the wizened old orc to erupt into a fit of wheezing laughter.  “Indeed!  Indeed.  That would certainly be something to see.”  He gasped out while trying to catch his breath.  He eventually recovered from his laughing fit and adopted a more professional demeanor, albeit with a small smirk still curling the corners of his mouth.  “Right, on to business.  I take it you were given the details of our problem?”

“From what we were told, your local mines have been overrun by monsters after an incident occurred.”  Came Rick’s reply.

The chief nodded his head.  “Aye.  One of our teams was digging a new tunnel that seemed promising and somehow hit a natural cave system.  Shortly after exploring the caves, the boys were nearly swarmed by the monsters that live in there.”

“And ya want us ta kill them all?”  Tyr asked.

“Well yes, but actually no.”  He replied while stroking his beard.  “We primarily need that tunnel closed to stem the tide of beasties.  This is why I specifically asked the hunter garrison for a mage skilled in earth magic.  One of you fits that description, I hope?”

“I do.”  Sade said, raising her hand.

“Good good.  Once that hole is sealed up tight, then we can focus on clearing out the mines of anything dangerous.”

“Easy enough.”  Daniela commented.  “Do you have a map of the tunnels we could use?  Won’t help anyone if we end up getting lost down there.”

“Oh, certainly.  I’ll have one of the boys bring one up.  Anything else you need from us before you head out?”

Rick nodded his head in thanks.  “Once we have a map with the location of the breach, we can start formulating a plan.  If we need anything else, we’ll let you know.  Thank you sir.”

“Such a polite lad.  A rare trait in a hunter I’ve found.”  The old man said with a chuckle.  He got out of his chair and said a few words to one of the people waiting outside the door to his office.

Much like their time in the beachside town of Gaviota, the party spent several hours asking questions about what kind of monsters they would face, where the hole to the underground caves was located, and which areas were the most crucial to clear out first once they were done plugging up the hole.  Eventually they all retired to rest for the evening before planning to set out first thing in the morning.

“Ugh… man, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to those planning sessions of ours.”  Lilie groaned while raising one arm over her head in a big stretch.  The action caused the chainmail links wrapped around her bust to creak in protest.  Rick wasn’t exactly complaining about the view the tighter clothing provided though.

“I for one am just glad we aren’t waking up to more training.”  Daniela sighed before dropping onto one of the beds.  “I never thought I would ever meet people who would make mi familia actually seem tame.”

“But it was still worth the effort, right?”  Rick teased.

“You bet your cute little ass it was!”  She said with glee.

 

 

She started cackling like a supervillain after reading aloud her stats and skills for everyone’s benefit.  “Seriously!  I’ve only been with you for a couple weeks and nearly everything has gone up by one!  I thought I was the baddest puta on the streets before, but fuck!”

Rick had to admit that Daniela’s attributes were quite impressive, even before the hellish training.  Her Strength had the most improvement, jumping up by two after repeatedly tearing her muscles and then being healed by Lilie so she could go back and do it all over again.  What surprised everyone was that their enterprising thief had jumped wholeheartedly into Sade’s magic lessons despite her self professed hatred of studying.

“Your improvement is entirely your own doing.  We merely provided an opportunity for you to succeed.”

Everyone gave Sade a sideways glance.  She was being far too humble in regards to her role in ensuring everyone's success in raising their wisdom, intelligence, and attunement.  She looked around at everyone’s accusatory stares.  “What?  That is the truth.”

Rick shook his head in exasperation.  “Regardless of who may or may not have contributed the most in our successful training, it’s true, we all have worked hard these past few weeks.  So now it’s time to put it to the test.  Everyone confident in the plan?”

There was a chorus of affirmations at his question.  “I fer one can’t wait ta smash some monster heads in!”  Tyr exclaimed with her usual savage grin.

“Oh no.  You are not going to go rushing off naked into a hoard of monsters again while you are carrying Rick’s child.”  Sade admonished.

“Wait, did she really do that?!”  Daniela asked.

Rick palmed his face at the memory.  “Essentially, yes, yes she did.  We got ambushed by a group of bug monsters while we were out collecting Rayna and the rest of the gang.  While she still had clothes on before the fight, she did charge in without any weapons on her at all.  She’s just lucky that her clothes were the only casualty of that fight.”

“And that is why you need to stay in the back with your bow this time.”  Sade said, pointing her finger threateningly at the massive elf’s chest.  “I refuse to let your bloodthirst threaten the life of the little one inside you.”

Lilie snickered.  “She’s right, Tyr.  Healing is hard enough, and I’m not confident in my skills to save the child if you take a shot to the gut.  Let Rick be the one to rip a monster’s dick off with his bare hands and present it to you as a trophy this time.”

The elf grumbled slightly, but untimely relented.  She turned to Rick.  “I’ll be holding ya to that promise.  There better be a monster cock fer me ta hang on the wall by the time we’re done, ya got it?!”

Everyone chuckled heartily at the odd demand.  The fact that Tyr’s face conveyed that she was completely serious in her desire to hang up some poor monsters dangly bits on the wall only made them laugh harder.

“Okay, okay.”  Rick chuckled, holding up one hand and doing his best to adopt a solemn tone.  “By my honor, I swear to present to you only the finest monster genitals I can forcefully remove in glorious combat.”

That caused everyone else to erupt into furious laughter once more.  Even Tyr was doing her best to fight a smirk from showing on her face.  “Good.”  She sniffed.  “I still think yer all getting too worked up over me babe, but I’ll let it pass fer now.”

“We appreciate your sacrifice, Tyr.”  Rick said with a slight pat on her meaty shoulder.

Daniela looked around the room somewhat nervously.  “So, uh… are we all spending the night together in this room?”

Sade waved her hand nonchalantly.  “We are.  But we have multiple beds and I promise you there will not be any intimate activity this evening.  The last thing we wish is for you to be uncomfortable around us.”

Lilie booed at the announcement but the dwarf gave Sade a grateful smile.  “Thanks.  I know how much you all enjoy your nightly activities.”

“Think nothing of it.”  Rick said.  “We can survive without sex.”

“Hey!”  Lilie cried.

“We can survive without sex for a little while.”  Rick corrected.  He turned to the horny healer.  “I’ll personally top you off in the morning once everyone else is ready to leave.”

“Whoo!”  She cried out in joy.  “A good dicking and some coital energy, you really know how to treat a girl nicely.”

“Coital energy?”  Daniela asked.

Lilie winced at the slipup and gave Rick an apologetic look.  He merely sighed and shook his head.  Due to her still being on her ‘trial period’, they had all elected to not divulge the details of his vocation to their newest member for the time being.  They of course told her about Lilie’s aspect and the rough details on how it worked, something that amusedly caused Daniela to blush furiously when she spied the mender jiggling about for the first few days, but it seemed the cat was finally out of the bag about the other sexual aspect of their group dynamic.  Rick didn’t really mind, the thief had proven herself trustworthy in his eyes already.

“It’s part of my particular vocation.  I’m an intimancer, so my skills primarily focus on being… intimate with people.”

“Hold up, hold up.  Your magic is all about having some quality coito with these beautiful chicas?!”

Rick nodded his head.  “Yep, pretty much.”

“How the fuck does that work?”  Daniela cried.

“Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much…”  Lilie started to tease before Rick waved her off.

“It means that when I have sex, a certain energy is cultivated.  We can spend that energy for a variety of uses.”

“Yeah, like giving us both cocks that’re as big as yer forearm.”  Tyr snickered.

The dwarven woman looked flabbergasted at the elf’s announcement.  Her mouth kept opening and closing, as if she had suddenly lost the ability to talk.  She kept looking from Rick, to Tyr, down to the elf’s crotch, then back to Rick.  Every time her face would get just a shade or two more red than before.

Lilie was clutching her belly in laughter at the whole scene, Tyr had the biggest shit-eating grin Rick had ever seen, but thankfully Sade had her arms crossed and was glaring at the other two troublemakers.  At least someone in the group had a modicum of tact.

Rick could only sigh.

“Please disregard anything lewd those two might say.  Yes, we used the energy to make ourselves larger.  Yes, there’s a lot more options than that.  No, I won’t go over all the various things we changed.”  He stood up and gently tapped the blond woman lightly on the shoulder.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know.  But, the most important thing right now is for all of us to get some rest.  We have a mission to complete.  If you wish to ask more about how all the craziness works, I would happily answer any and all questions you have once we are all back home and safe.  Sounds good?”  He asked.

“I, uh… S-si!  That sounds bueno.”

“Perfect.”  Rick said happily and walked over to the furthest bed.  There were thankfully three beds in their shared room, so they could have two people sleep together comfortably while their thief could get one all to herself.  He turned to his three lovers, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.  “So who wants to sleep with me?”