Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 569



Side Story Chapter 16 – Whispering Wishes

【Who the hell are you?】

The voice that resonated without a quiver was not of this world.

I couldn’t tell if the speaker was old or young.

It was so bizarre that I couldn’t even guess their gender.

It matched none of the descriptions I’d given before.

Yet, it somehow applied to everything.

Moreover, it was just a dry statement, but an indescribable pressure weighed down on me.

The gods I’d seen moments ago were truly nothing.

It felt as though a real god had descended here.

As for the heroines, they were no different than me, each tensing up.

[I have come to grant a wish.]

【You mean me…?】

[Actually, I mean everyone here.]

The only one maintaining composure was Peace.

But perhaps Peace’s words rubbed him the wrong way.

Emotions began to seep into the previously emotionless voice.

It was an elementary feeling called anger.

【Get lost.】

[Listen to the story and then decide. You are a guest, after all.]

Now, anger manifested in his voice as well.

I couldn’t see it, and it wasn’t aimed directly at me.

Yet, it felt as if a knife had been pressed to my throat.

【Guest…? There’s a limit to how much you can babble…!】

I instinctively gathered starlight in both hands without knowing why.

Yet, the god continued speaking, unfazed.

It was as if there was nothing to waste on someone like me.

【What the hell do you mean ‘guest’—】

Then, his voice suddenly cut off.

The sharp atmosphere dulled in an instant.

Finally, the god began to finish his interrupted sentence with different words.

【……You’re not that bastard.】

[Finally recognizing it?]

In a voice that was once again utterly devoid of emotion.

【Where have you thrown that dog?】

[I killed him.]

In the god’s voice was a strong and pure inquiry.

Even the most competent god seemed unable to comprehend.

【……How in the world…?】

Well, if you were in a position to know that bastard, it was a natural reaction.

When I used it, it was omnipotent, but when others used it, it was just plain trash.

Only that son of a bitch had an overwhelming regression.

Of course, it was just a half-hearted regression compared to what Peace has now.

But even that half-hearted regression was a truly tricky and dangerous existence.

Thinking back, I couldn’t even say it was easy, even if it was a lie.

I struggled like hell to escape the realm of death every moment.

I had actually died once, too.

Honestly, if luck hadn’t been on our side, we wouldn’t be here.

We’d either be cold corpses or have vanished in the cycle of regression.

In essence, it was undeniable to call it a miracle.

Meanwhile, Peace nodded towards us, willingly answering the god’s query.

[Everyone here did it together.]

【Ha…!】

A gasp that couldn’t tell if it was admiration or a sigh.

[Were you close with him?]

【No, more like thankful.】

From the sounds of it, it seemed like it was the former.

[Then that’s a relief. Are you ready to make your wish now?]

【……Just this once, I will.】

[Thank you.]

Perhaps Peace’s words pleased the god.

Soon, the god moved only its head from its frozen body.

From the hood emerged a large eye of a mysterious hue, locking onto us.

【Then mortals, speak your wish.】

It was a bold and, at the same time, confidence-stuffed declaration.

Surely the expression ‘competent’ wasn’t just an empty shell.

Furthermore, there was a strong vitality in the voice that made them seem like an omnipotent god.

“Make my chest bigger while you’re at it.”

【…….】

But the moment Hyeji blurted out her wish, she died.

The god’s gaze that had been directed at us.

The voice that pulsed with life.

The atmosphere surrounding us all.

Even the time that flowed continuously.

No, the very space we were in completely died.

In that space of death, the only one free was Hyeji.

She offered a disdainful glance towards the god and quivered her lips.

Tearing through the dead space, as if to breathe life back into it.

“Why is it suddenly quiet?”

【……Make a wish that can be realized…】

Then came the raging anger of Hyeji, entering through the torn gap.

“Why is it impossible to make a wish for just a bigger chest!!!”

【It’s, it’s not just… it’s absolutely impossible…】

“You said you’re a competent god, you son of a bitch!!!”

It hurt.

After realizing that even regression couldn’t fix her chest.

I thought Hyeji had completely let go of her feelings about it.

Yet, I never imagined she would still entertain a wish she couldn’t have, for a chest she couldn’t possibly possess.

However, I thought this was unavoidable.

Hyeji’s flat chest was the immutable truth of this world.

Surgery was impossible, no enhancements were allowed, and even drawing a picture of a chest was not feasible.

Yet how dare a mere god challenge that truth?

“At least give it a try, you bastard!!!!!!!”

【It would be better for you to kill this body!!!】

In the end, we reached a point where we had to dissuade Hyeji, who truly wanted to kill the god.

After a while, when Hyeji calmed down and the god sighed in relief.

Suddenly, a question popped into my mind, and I turned my gaze to the heroines.

“Don’t you all have a wish you want to make?”

Anyone would typically have at least one wish.

Excluding Hyeji, no one else made a separate wish.

Such opportunities were incredibly rare.

“I’m good since I’ve already settled my Elf Coin! As long as my Husband isn’t hurt!”

“My business has already become successful. You only need to recover.”

[From the start, this body has the same wish as you.]

Even so, they each had their own reasons.

Elcia and Ayeon had fully achieved their goals.

Since Peace shares a soul with me, if you think about it, my wish is also hers.

Essentially, we were intertwined in a single fate.

“I’m just a priest serving another god…”

“Oh, right.”

And Caressy had her own professional issues to consider.

Regardless, I was the only one left in the situation to make a wish.

The god fixed its gaze on me, silently urging me.

Hurry up and make a wish.

When I was about to wish upon the god, I suddenly remembered.

Such opportunities won’t come again.

In other words, this was the last chance to make a wish.

So wouldn’t it be okay to try making various wishes?

‘Since you’re competent, I want to see how far this goes.’

[But you must keep it appropriate.]

With that thought in my head, I immediately began spouting various wishes.

“Can I brag in the gacha?”

【Are you crazy? It is impossible.】

However, even if I listed various wishes, the answer remained the same.

“Then, how about turning this story into a webtoon?”

【Do you even know the meaning of ‘appropriate’…?】

The responses were all just variations of ‘impossible.’

“If that’s not possible, then please ensure the Nobelpia server doesn’t crash.”

【Do you dare to insult me!!!】

The moment I made that wish, the god shot up from its seat and grabbed my collar.

I was too dumbfounded, and now I was getting furious.

Didn’t you say you were a competent god?

You even declared to say any wish you wanted.

Yet this bastard was undeniably incompetent.

‘You can’t even make an appropriate wish… you are such an idiot…’

[…..This can’t be happening… damn…]

A pathetic and useless god that could only listen to me.

With this, was it truly possible to grant a single wish?

In a moment of anger, I seized the god’s collar and twisted it.

If I didn’t let this frustration out, I was afraid I might commit some act of madness.

“What can you even do! Just make me the emperor of mankind, you son of a bitch!”

【Finally, you’re expressing a realistic wish.】

“Damn.”

I felt disheartened.

Until now, the empty wishes I had made were surely not simple.

Yet how could they compare to the last one?

But the fact that the last wish was the most realistic left my mind complicated in various ways.

【So you wish to become the emperor of mankind.】

“No, I’ll wish for something else.”

【Speak.】

Even so, it seemed this god wasn’t completely useless.

So, I cautiously made my real wish to the god.

“Can you return my lifespan?”

I wanted to recover the lifespan I lost from the final battle.

It was precious enough to be filled with happy moments.

But it felt so empty as it just slipped away.

I wanted to get back even a fraction of that time.

【So you want to keep your original lifespan…?】

“That’s right.”

【Is that all you’re asking for?】

Fortunately, judging by the god’s reaction, it seemed there was something greater possible.

“Can I be a little greedier?”

【Go ahead.】

I decided to push my not-so-greedy desires to the max.

That was one wish I had always kept tucked away in my heart.

“I want to live a long, long life with everyone and die at the same time on the same day.”

Our appearances are as diverse as our races.

Humans, succubi, elves, and beastkin.

Thus, our lifespans differ from each other.

As of now, we live together, but what will happen later?

One may be gone, or I could end up living entirely alone.

In the end, mortality is something you cannot avoid, even if you wish to.

Of course, I know.

This is a selfish wish that doesn’t care at all about the desires of others.

At the same time, it’s an immature and petty wish that doesn’t want to acknowledge someone’s death.

Still, this was the only wish I had.

I wanted to be with everyone here always.

In the present, future, and until the moment life ended.

That was my only desire and wish.

【It is possible.】

“Thank you.”

Seeing the god’s reaction, it truly seemed like this was not an impossible wish.

Without realizing it, a sigh of relief escaped me.

Just stating my wish made me quite tense, it seemed.

【But it’s not over yet.】

However, the moment I heard the god’s sudden remark.

I inhaled the breath I just released hurriedly.

【Pay the price.】

I didn’t want to hear it, but I had to.

Even if I wanted to avoid it, I couldn’t escape.

It was a phrase I had to face unavoidably.



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