❖ 3 ❖

“A date, you say?” Yamada asked, her expression as blank as ever.

“A day out,” I emphasized. I know how pretty she is, but I wasn’t about to dive into things that quickly. If she really did have the hots for me, then I wanted to get to know her as a friend, first. “I thought I’d show you some of my favorite spots in the city.”

That’ll get you, right? It’s a chance to learn more about me, Yamada!

“And it’ll be just you and me, too. I figured it’d be a little daunting if we went out with everyone, so-”

“Very well,” Yamada curtsied, and I swear, for the first time since I’d met her, her lips curled into something resembling a smile. “I look forward to a pleasant day at your side, senpai.”

Oh shit, she might seriously be into me…

“Perfect!” I grinned. “You’re in for a treat, Yamada!”

❖❖❖

I didn’t really go on many dates these days. Haqua and Mio were homebodies, and Iori certainly liked going out, but anytime we did, we’d be so on top of each other that we’d be lucky if we got through dinner before we both needed to go back to her place and fuck like rabbits.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure where to start when it came to planning something like this out. Karaoke was always fun, Iori and I loved it back in high school, and it was still a good time now, but would Yamada be into that at all?

I pictured her belting out a ballad in her usual near-monotone voice, and immediately dismissed the idea.

No way, she’d hate it. Maybe if she was drunk, though…

That’d probably get a song started on a more enthusiastic note, but in no time at all…

“You’ll let me be your mama, right, wittle Wina? Oh, you’re so precioush!! I’ve jusht gotta keep youuu!”

“Ah! You can’t pounce on me like that, Yamada! No way, you want me to suck your boobs?! I can’t, There’s just no way! But they look soo soft! Ah, I’ve gotta give ‘em a taste!” I cried, wriggling about as the scenario played out in my head, before I opened my eyes to see a crowd of people shooting me the dirtiest looks I have ever seen, and I remembered that I was in public.

“Ehehehe…J-just practicing lines for a play, folks. Sorry for the disturbance…” I muttered, burying my face in my hands as I basked in their scorn.

S-so anyway, I was a little out of my depth here. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d spent a day out in the city without my partners. I didn’t do much of it back in my wage slave era, and now, I really only wanted to be with Haqua and the others, so I didn’t see much need for time away from them.

But still, I’d tried coming up with a plan for a day out that I hoped might get through to Yamada. Even if she didn’t have a thing for me, and it was becoming hard to see it any other way, then I hoped that this’d help her feel a little more at ease in the workplace.

Which had led me to waiting by myself in a café that came highly recommended by Mio. I’d expected Yamada to be the type who’d show up way, way too early for something like this, so I did the same, arriving a full hour before the time we’d agreed upon. God, I must’ve looked ridiculous on my own. I haven’t actually looked like I’m in my thirties ever since Haqua showed up, so anyone who looked at me would see what looked to be a student, sitting totally alone, openly fantasizing about having drunk, sloppy sex. Would that be more or less pathetic if I actually looked my age?

Ah, is she gonna stand me up?! I don’t want that, but at the same time…ohh gosh, everyone’d see me getting more and more despondent as the day goes on, they’d think I’m so pitiable! Ah, then I can really drag it out, stay here til closing time and see the staff looking at me like they’re unsure if they should give me a hand or throw me out onto the street! Ah, humiliate me, Yamada! Now’s your chance!

“Uehehehehe…” I giggled, fully aware that I was beginning to drool.

And just as I’d started to convince myself that I’d be alone for the rest of the day, a handkerchief was pressed to my cheek.

“Do you often get turned on in public spaces, senpai?”

“Y-Yamada?!” I quickly stood up, pulling out a chair for her and smiling as warmly as I could. “T-turned on? Why, I have no idea what you mean! I was just thinking about a joke a friend told me, and-”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“E-ehehe…” I bashfully laughed, sitting down alongside her. We’d barely exchanged a word, and she’d already learned that I’m a gigantic pervert. Shit, this date couldn’t have possibly gotten off to a more humiliating start.

It was perfect.

“Apologies for my tardiness,” Yamada started. “I was simply so excited that I could barely sleep last night,” she said in her usual monotone, ensuring I had absolutely no clue if she was sincere in the slightest.

Still, I checked my watch, and saw that she was…less than a minute late. Hell, by anyone’s standards, that’d mean she was on the dot, if anything. Still, I chose not to question it. She would be the type to hold herself to really exacting standards.

“Oh, you’re fine,” I smiled. “I just got here, so I haven’t been waiting at all, really.”

“...”

Yamada said nothing, just staring at me for a while. Did she know that I was lying?

“So,” I grinned, “I’ve got a few things planned out for the day, but is there anywhere that you’d like to go, Yamada?”

“Anywhere that makes you happy.”

Right, thought so… I scratched the back of my head, letting out an awkward chuckle.

“Alright. Well, I’m a pretty simple woman, y’know? So if it’s ever a little dull, just say the word, and I’ll try to spice it up, OK? I know that’s an odd request, but I wanna make sure we’re both having fun,” I smiled, before adding something that I knew would get her to agree. “Because I won’t have fun unless you’re having a good time too.”

She paused for a moment, then gave a small nod.

“Understood, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

I smiled, and trusted that she'd give it her best shot.

I called over a waiter, and placed an order.

“Can I get a hot chocolate with a little bit of extra milk, and pancakes with cream and syrup?” I ordered, before turning to Yamada. “I know I shouldn't go crazy on sweets this early, but-”

“I'll have the same as her,” Yamada interrupted, addressing the waiter. “To the letter. No discrepancies.”

I let out a small sigh, watching as the waiter shot her an awkward smile, stunned by Yamada’s intensity.

Yeah, shoulda thought so…

It was clear that I had an extremely interesting day ahead, if nothing else.

❖❖❖

“This movie’s been getting great reviews! Are you good with kaiju flicks, Yamada?” I said, pointing at a poster. “I love ’em, but they can be really intense, so there's also this really great drama if you want to see that inst-”

“If you love haiku, then that's what we should watch.”

“K-Kaiju...”

“Mm, that,” Yamada said, nodding before practically dragging me into the theater. I picked a movie first because she seemed like the type who'd be comfortable watching something like that pretty quietly,(and because I secretly hoped she had a cute, easily scared side that I could protect, which…sounds deeply pathetic of me, come to think of it), but of course, every few minutes…

“They hardly seem intimidating,” Yamada commented, blankly staring up at the screen. “I could kill one of them effortlessly. These people should have trained harder.”

“I mean, they're meant to be impervious to most weapons, y'know?” I whispered.

“That just speaks to the poor craftsmanship of the weapons, then.”

“I'll bet it does…” I laughed awkwardly.

You're a hell of a trash talker, Yamada.

“Not that you'd need a powerful weapon. With a carefully placed strike, even a spoon could pierce their hide, and…”

I felt countless burning eyes surrounding us as she continued to speak. A sea of moviegoers, all ready to wring Yamada's neck.

Though if Yamada noticed them, she'd probably say that she could kill all of them effortlessly too.

I'll be honest, I was starting to find this weirdo chuuni side of her extremely cute. She didn't look the slightest bit haughty while she talked about everything she could defeat, but I could tell there was a level of self-satisfaction behind it, like she was certain it was wowing me.

So after a movie that I wasn't given half a second to focus on, I took Yamada to the Sky Tree, wondering if a nice view might move her.

It didn’t.

“Ohh, look, Yamada! There's the office!” I said, pointing at the building that had played host to a massive chunk of my adult life. “It looks so tiny from up here!”

“This city pales in comparison to-”

“Eh?”

“Pay me no mind,” Yamada said, brushing a lock of her long blonde hair out of her eyes. “The office hasn't become smaller, distant objects simply look smaller because…”

I-I know, Yamada. Do you think I don't know how distance works? Is this some kinda new-age humiliation tech?!

…Cuz it's kinda working…

I couldn't help but squirm a little, noticing just how many people were watching me get a basic concept explained to me as though I were a toddler.

“Y-Yamada!” I interrupted, before I could get too turned on. “Are you not from Tokyo?”

“No, I only moved here recently,” she said.

“...”

I waited a second, wondering if she might elaborate, only to be met with absolutely nothing in response.

To be honest, I was starting to find this frustratingly obtuse part of her cute, too.

Still, it wasn’t exactly making for riveting conversation, so I pushed a little harder.

“Oh, where are you from?”

“Somewhere else.”

“...Oh.”

“Indeed,” Yamada replied.

“Well, wherever it was must be pretty amazing, right? If looking down from the Sky Tree doesn’t impress you, then you’ve gotta have seen some amazing sights back home.”

Surprisingly, that got a smile out of her.

“Mm, my home is extraordinarily beautiful. The lo-” she cleared her throat, “mayor who presides over it has done a tremendous job building it in their image, bringing about untold prosperity for its people. I’m tremendously proud of my home, Senpai.”

Oh, we’re getting somewhere!

“That’s amazing, Yamada!” I grinned, just thrilled to see her so clearly happy. “I’ll have to take a trip there someday.”

“Mm, you will,” she nodded and smiled softly, clearly grateful for the compliment.

“But then I guess I’ve really gotta sell you on Tokyo, huh?”

“I’d certainly appreciate it.”

So with a spring in my step, I took her to a nearby park, only to be immediately met with disastrous results.

“Yamada, you wanna try the swan boats? I’ve never used them and-”

“People h-hollow out effigies of birds and use them so dangerously?!” she balked, completely stunned by the sight. “The nerve!”

“Oh, they’re not dangerous. They’re really stable, and you’re moving pretty slow, so-”

“Don’t try to convince me that that isn't a deathtrap,” she scowled, pointing at the still, peaceful waters of the lake. “The madness of this city, no wonder its people seem so miserable!”

“M-My bad!” I hastily apologized. “I didn’t know you were scared of water, I’m sorry!”

“I’m not frightened by it. I simply recognize the dangers it presents,” she huffed.

“Right, well. I’ll make it up to you! You’ll love where we head next!”

Well, that was the hope in my heart as we took a train to a zoo. I hadn’t visited it since I was a teenager, but I’d loved it then, and was sure that if anything could get through to her, it’d be cute, cuddly critters.

Plus, my previous idea of an aquarium was completely trashed. If I took Yamada there, she’d probably try to burn the place to the ground.

“Yamada, look!” I cried, sounding every bit like a child. “Aren’t the pandas adorable!”

I could watch them slowly, sleepily munch on bamboo for hours. I think I’d forgotten just how much I loved animals over the years, but this was reawakening that something fierce. I snapped dozens, maybe even hundreds of photos of the little guys. I couldn’t wait to tell Haqua and the others all about them. I wanted, more than anything, to hop right into their exhibit and give them a huge hug.

Yamada, though, just stared out at them with a completely blank, wholly unimpressed expression.

Pandas aren’t doing it for you?!

Fine! Even if these cuties aren’t landing, there’s gonna be tons here you’ll love! I know it!

“Red pandas!” I squealed once we reached the next exhibit. “Ohhh, they’re so precious! Don’t you just wanna pick ‘em up and give ‘em a big squeeze?” 

“Not particularly.”

“Ah, tigers! They’re so gorgeous, but so ferocious! I can’t help but feel a little excited watching them, y’know? You never get the chance to be close to something so dangerous!”

“They seem weak to me.”

Everything seems weak to you!!!

Lemurs, giraffes, bison, bears, even the cutest, tiniest, fluffiest little bunnies all got met with the most flat, bored reactions I’d ever seen anyone wear. It was starting to break me down a little, wondering how anyone could be so completely unmoved by all of this.

So imagine my surprise when I caught her stopped in her tracks, gazing at a sign pointing to the zoo’s walk-in bird house intently.

Is this it?! Did we break through?!

“Something catch your eye, Yamada?”

She looked away, and blushed softly.

“...Not particularly.”

Ah, you’re getting all cute!

I fought the bratty urge to tease her a little, and instead tried to give her a little push.

“So you like birds?”

“...”

“Ahaha, it’s OK! I do too!”

Her eyes slowly found their way back to mine.

“...Really?”

“Really!” I nodded and grinned. “Let’s go take a look together, huh?”

I stretched out my hand for her, and much to my delight, she gently reached out and took it. For the first time, this really had started to feel like a date.

She looked like a kid on Christmas as she stepped into the bird house, oohing and aahing over every single birdie she could see.

“Look, Senpai! The plumage on this one is stunning! And this one’s just adorable, isn’t she? Ah, this one’s so small! I’d love to pamper them…”

“Mm, they’re amazing!” I grinned, whipping out my phone and taking a picture of her smiling lovingly at a cute little sparrow. I felt like that picture captured the real Yamada. The one behind all the monotonal facade she so often wore.

And while I’d grown to like that side of her a lot, this was the Yamada I most wanted to see. She was so carefree and energetic, so beautiful and warm. Long after we’d left the zoo, as the night started to slowly creep in, she was still gushing about how beautiful she found every single one of the birds to be. I’d even gone ahead and bought her a little owl plushie to commemorate the occasion, and she’d not stopped squeezing it for a second.

“So you had a good time, Yamada?”

“Wonderful. Incredible. I would do it again in a heartbeat,” she insisted. “Thank you, Senpai. I do believe I have a better grasp of what makes you happy.”

“Ahaha, I’m glad. I can say the same for you, too,” I grinned, watching as she snuggled her plushie lovingly. “Can't say I expected it to be birds, though, I'll be honest.”

“I can't say I understand why that might come as a surprise.”

I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. Honestly, with how things had been going, anything getting through to her would have surprised me. Rude as it was, I was starting to wonder if she even liked anything.

Damn if I wasn't happy to be proven wrong.

“It's just really cute, honestly,” I smiled. “You looked so happy with them, you know?”

“Well it's only natural, isn't it?” Yamada asked, clearing her throat. “They're wonderful beings, deserving of everyone's love and adoration.”

“Moreso than kaiju?” I teased.

“Undoubtedly,” she nodded. “Though…if that thing brought you some degree of happiness, then I suppose they aren't valueless. And they're certainly better than peacocks.”

“Ahaha, not a fan?”

“Absolutely not. They're far too ostentatious for their own good. Deeply arrogant creatures that give all of birdkind a bad name,” she huffed.

I couldn't help but chuckle. God, Yamada was starting to seem absolutely adorable.

“I get what you mean! Nobody likes a showoff,” I smiled.

“Indeed, I’m glad you understand,” she nodded.

“But what drew you to birds to begin with, Yamada? Did you have one as a pet growing up?”

“A pet?” Yamada balked, as though she'd never heard such a ridiculous suggestion.

“My bad!” I apologized. “I guess I'm just trying to ask if you grew up around them.”

Yamada paused for a moment.

“It would be more correct to say that we grew up around each other,” she said.

Kinda like a kid with a pet, ahaha…

I kept that thought to myself. I really didn't want Yamada to kill me.

Besides, if she viewed things in a different light, I wasn’t about to tell her off for that when it was clearly important to her.

“I pledged my all to them, tending to their every need and whim day-in, day-out. And I did so with a smile, their happiness was all the reward I could possibly ask for.”

“I get it! I had a hamster when I was little, and just getting to see his cute little cheeks puff up whenever I fed him something yummy really makes me feel incredible,” I grinned.

Yamada looked at me with a confused expression for a moment, before her lips curled into a small smile.

“I always saw them as a dear friend, and in truth, I still do. I'll treasure them for the rest of my days. It's just…”

She trailed off, suddenly looking a little melancholic.

“You kinda wonder if they saw you the same way?”

She gave me a small nod.

“It's impertinent of me to show them even the slightest bit of doubt. I feel foolish for even saying this much. I just…wish I could hear their feelings clearly.”

“Mm, I definitely get that. I wish I could've translated the little guy's thoughts. His squeaks were adorable, but I guess it'd have been nice to hear him tell me he loved me as much as I loved him.”

“Indeed! You understand completely!” Yamada nodded, enthusiastically.

“Well,” I threw my hands up behind my head. “I guess you've just gotta trust that they do, y'know? They might not be able to tell you, and that sucks, but that doesn't mean they're not doing everything they can to show you their feelings. Most animals never let anyone close to them, but that birdie trusted you enough to let you stay by their side. I think that's about the greatest show of love anyone could ever ask for.”

Yamada stopped in her tracks, and tightly squeezed her plushie. She must really love that little birdie.

Beneath all the apparent readiness to kill, Yamada was a far gentler soul than I ever would have expected.

“I'll keep that in mind, Senpai. Thank you,” she nodded and smiled. “Today's been…extremely worthwhile.”

I let out a small laugh, and smiled warmly at her.

“Thank you, Yamada. I had a blast.”

Her cheeks briefly turned pink, before she cleaned her throat, and her usual emotionless expression returned.

“Is this where you planned to part ways for the night, then?” she asked, her usual monotone returning.

“Doesn’t have to be,” I shook my head. “We could go get dinner or a drink, if you’d like.”

Honestly, I really hoped she’d say yes to that. I felt like things were just starting to really go great, and…I really wanted to see what might happen if we took things further. If she held any feelings for me, like Rhody had thought, would she admit them then? I couldn’t even say this was motivated by any sort of pathetic instincts on my end. I wanted her to be able to share her feelings and push past everything that had made being in the workplace difficult for her.

“I was thinking,” she started, “that I might like to show you my home, Senpai.”

Oh shit! Rhody, you were right!

Inviting me back to her place on the very first date was a bold play, but I think you can guess how readily I agreed. Whatever she wanted to do with me, I was so excited that I was starting to vibrate, desperate for her touch.

Not that I let that show.

“Oh, that sounds great, Yamada! My partners are gonna tease me like crazy, but I can’t say that bugs me much.”

“Will they now?” she chuckled.

“Ah, they tease me constantly,” I laughed. “It’s fine, I like it, honestly.”

“Your interests are strange, Senpai. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“You’re getting in on it now, too?!” I asked, as Yamada took me by the hand and led me in what I assumed was the direction of her place. “But yeah, I guess they are.”

“And you know,” she started, “despite my efforts, and all that today has taught me, I still feel as though I don’t have a complete picture of what makes you tick, Senpai.”

“I’m not much of a puzzle, really,” I smiled bashfully. “It’s not like I’m hiding anything special.”

That was a lie, of course. I was hiding my very nature as a demon from her, but, well, if she wanted to start something with me, that’d come out soon.

“You’re a liar, Senpai.”

Yamada stopped in her tracks, squeezing my hand tightly all the while.

“...Yamada?” I asked, tilting my head curiously.

“You’re a greater puzzle than I’ve ever encountered, in truth. There’s still so much I need to grasp.”

“Wait…Yamada, what are you talking about?” I asked, only now noticing that she’d led me squarely into a dark backstreet.

“You, Senpai. Only you,” she said, putting her plushie away into her bag. “No matter how tricky of a puzzle you are, though-”

Yamada slammed her palm against the wall behind me, pinning me in place.

And all the while, her expression was blank, and her eyes completely devoid of emotion.

“-you will be solved.”

I felt ready to crumble right then and there. In that moment, Yamada was more intimidating than Haqua. I’d gone nearly an entire day somehow feeling like a functional person instead of a pathetic, yapping mutt. Only now was I being reminded of my place.

I held back a small, flustered bark, though the beginnings of one that pushed past my lips brought an amused smirk to Yamada’s face.

What happened to you, Yamada?

I held onto the sincere, warm smile she'd shown me at the zoo, and the gentleness she'd shown when she spoke about her pet bird. Even now, I was convinced that was who she really was.

But that was completely out of step with the woman gazing at me hungrily now, licking her lips as she sized up her deeply pathetic meal.

Fuck, even at a time like this, the gap was turning me on like crazy.

“You're excited?” Yamada asked, smirking. “Good, so am I.”

With a snap of her fingers, the moon above us began to shift, and we were bathed in its bright, pale light. In an instant, my glamour faded, revealing the world's most pathetic succubus to my kouhai.

I could feel my brain going into panic mode, trying desperately to spin up potential excuses, but it was all for nothing.

Because as the six silver eyes boring into me proved, I wasn't the only one who'd come out of hiding.

“Y-Yamada?” I squeaked.

She chuckled, and raised a chitinous hand to my cheek. It was smooth and glossy to the touch, yet felt segmented at the joints, as though it were natural plate armor.

“Not hiding anything, hmm?”

“You’re a demon?!” I gasped, watching as a six spider-like legs seemed to unfurl from her back, turning this kabedon into an inescapable cage.

“A Jorōgumo, to be precise. And you, former human, are caught in my web.”

“Wait, Yamada, if you're a demon then you get why I have to hide it, right?! I wasn't trying to deceive you, honest!” I hurriedly explained. “Shit, it's a relief knowing that you're a demon too! I'm the one who asked you out, remember? If things went further, I was going to tell you about myself, promise!”

Her six eyes all filled with something between amusement and pity.

“How cute, you must have thought you were close to feeding on me.”

“I didn't want that at all!”

“Funny, then. I wonder if you imagined that you'd be tonight's prey.”

A pair of sharp fangs pierced my neck, and a shooting pain rushed through me.

“Yama…da…?” I groaned.

“Apologies for the shock, Senpai,” she said, before chuckling and shaking her head. “Listen to me, still calling you that even now. I’ve spent far too long playing at being human.”

“What…did you do…?” I asked. My legs felt as though they were turning to rubber, my whole body felt weak and unsteady, and I knew that I didn’t have more than a minute of consciousness left, if that.

“You’re going to sleep for a while, Rina Saeki,” she spoke coldly, her gaze harsh and icy. I hated that for as shocked and scared as I should’ve been, my mutt’s brain still couldn’t help but enjoy the scorn she was showing me. “But don’t fret, I’ll tend to you til you wake.”

“What are you…?” I groaned, falling against her shoulder.

“A humble maid,” she answered. “Nothing more.”

My eyes were growing heavy, everything around me was starting to fade into darkness, and soon, all I could feel was her embrace. It contained not the slightest bit of warmth, but it was the only source of comfort I had.

What did I do to deserve this…?

“Rest well, Rina Saeki. Lord Suzume will be pleased with my efforts.”

Lord…Suzume?

As the last of my consciousness started to slip away, and I felt Yamada sweep me off my feet, I could only manage a single thought before passing out completely.

Haqua’s…gonna show you hell…

Knowing that, at least, made this easier to bear.