Kaia the Argent Wing

20: Bi-Panic



I was dashing across the rainswept courtyard towards the cafeteria when I spotted a squirrel sitting up in one of the decorative oaks. Taking cover under the tree, I stared up at it in consternation. Why was the squirrel so weird to me? Wait, holy crap! It was an un-monsterified squirrel! Just a regular sized—

Having seen me watching, the squirrel reacted by casting something! Suddenly, its fur was the same colour as the bark around it, and it scampered further up into the branches of the tree. What the heck? Did only some of the local animals get turned into rabid monsters? What was the criteria for becoming a monster or a chameleon like that little critter? I was going to have to investigate, or ask Cynath I guess.

“Hey, Cy—” I began, but a voice cleared behind me and I turned to find Finn the firefighter standing there, shuffling his feet nervously.

“Hey, Kai…” he began, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Okay… what was up with him?

“What’s up?”

“So uh… this is probably super weird or whatever… and like, let me know if I’m wrong—” He babbled, but I cut him off.

“You can just say whatever it is, I won’t bite,” I joked.

His next words came in a rush so fast I almost didn’t catch their individual meaning. “I thought I saw you checking me out a few times, so I was just wondering if you were gay or bi or something…”

Oh. Oh god. I… how did everyone seem to instantly clock me? First April, now Finn. Was I wearing a damn sticker on my forehead or something?

I must’ve been silent for too long because his cheeks began to flush and he bashfully glanced away in just about every direction except at me. “Sorry, I guess that’s a nasty question and… well, I…”

“Chill, chill,” I finally murmured, giving him a wry smile. “I guess I am, yeah. Bi, I mean. I was… look, you’re a firefighter, you have a pretty incredible body and smile…”

Now it was my turn to feel my face heat. Either that, or I stood a little too close to the forge earlier.

“You like my smile?” he asked, looking way too shocked for such an innocuous detail.

Words were beginning to fail me, so I just nodded. I had zero idea of how to navigate this situation.

"I'm gay," Finn blurted after a moment. "I think you're really cute too. Is it weird to say you have tons of twink energy?"

I shook my head. "Nah… it's true."

Why did getting called a twink make me feel uncomfortable, though? Gods I hoped it wasn't more of the gender bullshit from earlier. I wasn't… I wasn't trans.

Ugh. Even though I like, supported them and stuff. Bi people and trans folks got a lot of similar enough inter-queer hate that I couldn't not support them… and yet growing up in this area still made me cringe away from the idea. I just knew my parents would've been cold to the idea. Then I remembered Marc, and I smiled internally. My brother would've supported me. Holy shit he'd turn into the most caring, overbearing protective older brother if he found out he actually had a kid sister. The thought made me feel all warm and bubbly inside.

"So…" Finn said, after I was silent for an awkwardly long period of time.

Like an idiot, I nodded as though we were talking about the weather. "So…"

He cleared his throat. "Should we go get food?"

My brain short circuited. "What, like in front of everyone else?"

"Huh?" He blinked.

Mortified at myself, I asked, "Wait, you didn't mean… like, a date, did you?"

"Oh, oh! Uh… n-no? I mean… like…" he said, rubbing a thumb down his jaw while he stared at the ground again. I watched his thumb with open and excited fascination. Jawlines like his were… yummy.

"Yeah." I nodded, clueless, frazzled, and confused.

He cleared his throat again. "Maybe later? Where there isn't, like… a bunch of bigots around? I just wanted to hang, mostly, and get to know you. You seem smart and cool, so yeah."

“Well, uh… I was going to get some food, so you’re welcome to tag along,” I shrugged, feeling my heart finally slow down a little.

“Yeah, that’s what I was aiming at,” he agreed.

“Alright… uh… let’s go then.”

The cafeteria was exactly as I remembered it, except instead of high schoolers everywhere, you had beefy firefighters and tired families.

Along one wall, there was the huge serving window into the kitchen, while the opposite wall was one big window that gave a view over the courtyard and onto the fields. The usual chaotic arrangement of tables and chairs littered the room itself.

Finn and I each collected a tray and joined the queue for some warm food. Interestingly, there were quite a few tantalising smells wafting out of the kitchen.

"Gosh, what are they cooking in there?" I wondered aloud.

"Really good food," Finn answered, grinning broadly. "It's wild, dude. A bunch of the stay at home moms got cooking-related classes. They can apparently add flavour with magic. Some of them are levelled enough to cook proper buffs into the food."

"Damn, we really are living in a video game world now," I laughed.

As I was collecting a dollop of mashed potatoes, gravy, beans, and a steak that I was certain had to be from a monster, I saw someone in the kitchen. It was the mother I saved at the very start of all this. She was happily dicing onions at a pace that had me fearing for her fingers. Warm triumph spread through me. They survived! Thanks to me!

My mood hit a brick wall when we went to find a table and I saw my friends sitting around the spot we always used to take… minus Ollie and Camillo. They all looked shell-shocked and exhausted.

Terrified over what I would learn, I rushed over and sat down. "Where's Ollie and Camillo?"

Alec waved a hand in a vague direction and tried to give me a smile. "Don't worry, they're alive. Ollie got hurt real bad, though. Camillo healed her enough to get home but she needed the EMTs."

The chair beside me shifted, and I waved for Finn to join us. "Guys, this is Finn. Finn, these are my friends, Alec, Immie, and Scott."

Unsaid was that there used to be two more of us. Estelle and George's seats were left open…

I took a moment to contemplate my grief. Estelle was an extremely special person. She was one of those people who would frequently get into fights defending anyone and everyone from haters. It was crazy how she turned out considering what her parents were like. Ultra religious and hateful to the point of openly advocating for the deaths of gay people, they were the opposite of the fiercely kind girl they created. But now… now she was gone.

I didn't know George as well as I did her, but he was a cool dude too. They were both thick as thieves, and everyone expected them to start dating, but they never did. Estelle said she didn't want to date until she was in college and away from her parents… and George was just kinda awkward with girls.

“What happened out there?” Finn asked while I was busy ruminating.

“Just too many monsters at once. We were grabbing more food from random houses and Ollie got caught in the leg by a woodpecker the size of a cat,” Alec explained without his usual cheer. “Its beak was some sort of black obsidian or something. Cut right through her thigh, all the way to the bone.”

“We killed them though,” Scott added. “Got a load of shit back and Alec managed to carry a mattress back.”

Alec snorted and flashed a weak grin. “Yeah. I figured once Ollie got out of the infirmary she’d want to lay down on something better than the floor.”

“It was a very heroic effort,” Immie said with her signature deadpan. “Nobly carrying a mattress as it flopped about, getting in everyone’s way. It was exactly what we needed.”

We continued to banter as we ate, but in the back of my mind I was beginning to think, and to plan. My friends needed better gear, stuff that would protect them. I needed to get them that gear, and I needed to do it tonight.

Plus, I could use them to prototype stuff that could be easily fabricated so we could mass produce it for everyone else too. I wonder… maybe I could convince Charles to let me work on developing gear for everyone while the others did the mundane stuff. Was that selfish of me? I hope not… because I really didn’t want to make any more candle holders.


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