Madman’s Retirement

Chapter 33: Threats, A Nutritious Part of One’s Breakfeast



"You didn't..." muttered Granite as he looked off into the distance.

"I did, and I must say, quite the hit if you ask me." Grant frowns for a second.

"Perhaps I should've used a baseball bat instead. Could've called it a home run..."

"What did you do?" the minotaur asked, calmly as possible.

Snap

"Well, I hit the head straight into the paladin's room. If I did the math correctly, it should land right in front of him if he dodges properly."

"And if he doesn't" the minotaur asks uneasily.

Grant shrugs. "Then we have just gotten rid of the source of corruption, and no one can trace it back to us."

SNAP

The minotaur felt his rational sense just break.

The minotaur took deep breaths as he had to hold back from screaming.

"If you're right, and you've just dropped a threat straight on the front door of the paladin, you've just put us in the crosshairs of one of the biggest churches in the empire!" He began shaking the man's shoulders.

"What are you thinking! It's one thing to defend ourselves, it's another thing to outright threaten them like that! This has to be the stupidest thing you-"

"I'm telling the paladin to wash his neck." interrupted Grant. "And no, we have not attacked the whole of the church, just this one paladin, and whatever small group he has taken with him."

"He's a paladin, he practically represents the church of Isis' stance on this." The minotaur countered.

"No, he doesn't" said Grant definitively. "The doctrine of Isis is one of kindness and goodwill. The corruption of churches may be an unavoidable thing, but to believe that the whole church would be so corrupt is foolishness. Isis herself would not allow such deep corruption."

Granite wasn't sure where such confidence was coming from, but he saw that Grant would not be swayed in this way, so he decided to argue on the basis of individual identity. The church of Isis was one that advocated kindness regardless of race, so it's not like the point was unfounded.

"That may be," said Granite, "but the paladin in question is believed to be one of the most devout and loyal followers of Isis, to attack him is to attack the church."

Grant chuckled. "Sure, if they can prove it was us. The paladin may know the meaning, but to the average church member or those uninvolved, this will be seen as an unprovoked threat. The paladin can't point at us without admitting guilt."

Granite had to admit this was a good point. This was an unprovoked attack on them with no earlier precedence. If there was no proof they were the ones attacked, then to levy the claim was as good as admitting he was the one behind the action.

And for someone maintaining such a reputation, it was merely stupidity to destroy his reputation for such a minute thing.

But still...

"Don't worry too much about it," said Grant, shaking the minotaur out of his thoughts. "You haven't invoked any more hostility than you would've by surviving such an attack. If anything, I could see him choosing to avoid targeting you as a target when there are others to target."

The minotaur snorted. "That wasn't a helpful thought."

Grant shrugged. "Whatever."

"And you've earned his ire now" pointed out Granite.

Before, Grant had been uninvolved, but now, he was very personally involved.

Grant chuckled, got up and walked to town.

"If I had a nickel for every enemy I've ever made, I would be the richest man alive."

Besides, more enemies was always a good thing.

More enemies meant more fun!

Grant paused for a minute, before twisting back to look at Grant.

"Speaking of memories-"

"We weren't remotely talking about memories-"

"-Speaking of memories," Grant interrupted, "I just remembered something interesting" Pause.

Granite sighed, as he could tell Grant was waiting for something. "And what would that be?" he asked tiredly.

"When minotaurs or other monsters have children with races like humans or elves, or even dwarves, it's recommended that they move into areas with a high concentration of mana to ensure the baby's safe delivery."

The minotaur was taken back. "What memory did you unearth that includes that fact?" he asked, confused.

He wished he could take that mask off as that crow bore holes into him.

Grant twisted back forwards, and as he walked, he gave an almost wistful answer.

" Just a memory."


When they got back, there was quite the commotion in the port.

They got in just fine, but the town was in an uproar thanks to a loud sound that had apparently just happened a few hours before.

Besides that though, nothing else was said, and just as Grant had thought, the rest was covered up.

As Granite and Grant returned to the adventurer's guild, they caused a small commotion as they passed.

"Look, they're back already!? You think they managed to hunt the cockatrice?"

"Doubt it. No way they got back so soon."

"YoU moron! Look at Grant's costume again! He got himself a feathered cloak!"

"Could've been another bird monster."

"The both look fine."

"He looks even more like a bird..."

"Bird is the word?"

As whispers and gossip quickly spread throughout the guild, the two merely waited in line, until they eventually reached the counter.

"Have you completed the request?" asked the guild worker chipperly, and in turn, Granite simply pulled out the cockatrice's head, leading to another round of whispers and even more gossip.

"Wonderful!" they responded, and in turn, they distributed the silver and a few pieces of gold to both Granite and Grant.

Another guild worker came down, as he began calling for the minotaur.

"A-class adventurer Granite? The guild master is calling for you."

Granite nodded in acknowledgement, before turning to face Grant.

"Working with you has been... Interesting."

Grant gave a simple nod. "Pleasure's all mine. Maybe next time, you can show me your terrarium."

The minotaur's eyes widened, before shrinking back to normal. "You surprise me once again Grant."

"Of course. You may have good instincts, but I have good insight."

And thus, Grant and Granite part ways this day.


Granite closes the door behind him as he sits in front of the guildmaster.

Guildmaster Beras was a large imposing man that even a minotaur had to acknowledge as huge, towering over even him, leading many to speculate he had giant blood running through him, and the fact that he was quite the spell caster and warrior merely helped to push this rumor.

Upon seeing Granite, he nodded, and then promptly began activating a magical device of some sorts, seemingly blocking out what they were to say fro any who would dare to listen in.

Granite knew it from his frequent encounters with Beras, a device meant to hinder spies, that worked so well that only scrying artifacts of the divine level could peak in, and the chances of someone having that were slim.

"How was the mission?" asked Beras.

"Good" said Granite. He held up a vial of cockatrice blood mixed with a few other fluids of the cockatrice.

Beras nodded. "Well hopefully things work out for you and Lily.

I do want to see some grandkids after all!"

He chuckled at the very thought of kids in the house again, reminiscing on how much fun Lily was.

Yes, the two were related, as Beras' own daughter Lily was in fact married to Granite.

And the reason in fact for the hunt of the cockatrice was to gain the fluids necessary to increase the chance of conception, which was low between most monsters and humans, with giant blood also causing the problem.

Well, one of two reasons.

Granite on the other hand, was not so happy, holding a grim look on his face.

Noticing this, Beras, turned serious again. "What happened? Are bandits showing up already?"

Bandits could become a major problem at an outpost if not dealt with quickly.

"No, that would've been easy to deal with. traitors."

Beras' laid back eyes hardened slightly, as the aura around the man intensified as he got up.

"Well, I guess I'm going to go have a "Talk" with these suspects-"

"Don't bother; they're dead."

Beras stopped midway through standing, before lurching back down.

"Did you do it?" he asked simply.

"No, he did."

The other reason why Granite had been sent out alongside Grant to hunt down a cockatrice.

"And what are your first impressions of him?"

Granite paused for a minute.

Dancing, golf, threatening a paladin, sex potion dealer, wearing a bird costume with a big fat red x, saying random things for no reason...

"He's unhinged father-in-law. Absolutely nuts."


"Pffft" Grant did a spit take as he burst out in laughter.

"Oh, oh my, how rude Granite, even after the hint I gave you in regard to childbirth for monsters.."

He put his hand to his chest. "You're breaking this old man's heart." he drawled, fake sobbing before diving his hand into the popcorn bowl for another handful.

Munch, munch, munch some more.

Turns out odin's eye was in fact, a divine level artifact, useable to scry and listen in on the show.
And that was what Grant was doing, having rushed into his divine realm to hide somewhere so he could get himself a front row seat to the show.

[System 15 has reported that player 15 has used the lazarus stone.]

"Really? And what has he used it on?" asked Grant idly.

Player 15 wasn't bad, but he felt too reliant on his good luck, and lacking environment. He felt too sheltered for his taste. Player Earl was much more his tempo. Speaking which, should he reward him for that impressive defensive...

[He's used the lazarus stone on an omen dragon]

A flood of information flew through Grant's mind as the omen dragon's status' flew through his mind.

Stop.

Grant's face twitched, as he once more recalled player 15's great luck.

His eye twitched a bit, before he started giggling.

Truly, such wonderful luck. An omen dragon, and based off what the system said, one from the dinosaur age!

At the same time, he rubbed his head, silently cursing Isis for being too soft on her chosen one.

"Remind me once he heads back to civilization in a year or 5." He said, choosing to put it off to the back of his mind.

He was excited by the thought of the omen dragon, but he still very much wanted to see how this played out. Good shows are not to be missed.

The dragon could wait a little longer.


The minotaurs as a race have a weird tradition.

Terrariums. 

Minotaurs quite like their terrariums. 

Apparently its a tradition developed in honor of their great ancestor, the minotaur himself. 

He who once ruled the labyrinth is something they idolize, and thus they develop terrariums in turn. 

Of course, these terrariums are thus shaped like miniature mazes, through which ants navigate, and for the minotaurs, the better designed the maze is, the more impressive it is. 

It's kind of like nobles and their gardens. And like nobles, its about presentation. 

It is a weird way of showing their greatness, but its a result of their environment. 

Minotaurs do not enjoy grandiose mansions, nor any large form of settlement, and thus, it's not to their favor to create huge displays of might. 

Instead, they hand carve their terrariums. The more complicated, the more concise your maze is, the more skilled you are. 

The minotau's are a strong race, of that there is no question. 

But to hand carve such a structure is a demonstration of control, of the ability to restrain, and not release. 

It's a shame I didn't get to see Granite's, but maybe next time he and I can compare terrariums

-Grant

P.s., they like to drop the ant's prey into the middle of the maze where the minotaur once resided, and like the minotaur, the creature is slain by the ants(humans). A bit dark considering the symbolism, but whatever.

 

Potential crossover with the dragon from the other story later on? Stay tuned!


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