Magic Murder Cube Marine

Stompy the Chthonic Titan of Devastation was having a great time chasing Francis. His rainbow horse was cool too. Hades had promised Stompy all the fish he could eat if he killed the human. Stompy liked Hades and would do anything for him. (Especially if there were treats involved.)

When Francis decided to play hide and seek, Stompy had been overjoyed. He loved that game, though he was fuzzy on the rules. He always mixed it up with tag.

“I found you!” Stompy roared as he put his mouth over the top of the building and sent a Thermal Lance through the roof of the tower. He got a bonus to damage if he was touching something while he burned it.

Then there was a sharp pain in the roof of Stompy’s mouth as the automatic crit hit him for almost 21,000 Magical Damage. It should have killed him, and it did. But Stompy had a neat ability that let him come back with 1 HP in return for taking a boatload of stress. He wouldn't be able to use it again until he was fully healed and rested.

Stompy backed away from the tower, barely breathing. His mouth was full of fire, and not the good kind. “Time out!” He roared. “I don't want to play anymore!”

Congratulations! You have defeated Stompy, the Chthonic Titan of Devastation. Collect your reward from the local Adventure Guild.

Divine Ascension has reached 5%!

New Divine Perks Unlocked!

Titan Bane: Words of your heroic deeds have spread far and wide. Even the mighty Titans know to fear you.

Cult Following: Word of your new religion has spread. You may begin gaining new followers without having to recruit them.

Francis watched Stompy run away from him as fast as it could. The thudding of the Titan’s footsteps grew fainter by the minute.

“Good riddance.” Said a soft voice from behind Francis. “I thought for sure it would break through.”

Francis turned slowly to see a mocha skinned wizard in powder blue robes. He was holding a giant mug of hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows. The wizard stuck out his hand. “Hi, I'm Cassius Theobroma. But you can call me Cassi.”

He shook the wizard’s hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Cassi. I'm Francis Francis Francis the third. People call me Francis. Is this your tower?”

Cassi nodded happily, his salt and pepper curls bouncing merrily. “Oh yes. It's lovely, isn't it? I just purchased it yesterday.”

“Did you now?” Francis considered this information. “Who from?”

“Well, I have had my eye on it for a while. But that troublesome lich was a deal breaker. When I heard the area was lich free, I snatched it up on Tower Swap.” He patted the stone lovingly. “To think, entering the housing market at my age. Some of my contemporaries don't like prefabricated towers. But I think they are a fantastic bargain.”

“Yeah, I grew up in a double-wide and people always gave me shit for it.” Francis didn't understand house snobbery and Cassi seemed cool. “Actually we're neighbors. I just took over Brexis. The High Priestess and I are going to start fixing it up soon. You should come over sometime.”

“I'd like that.” Cassi smiled. “I can see from your robes you are a fellow practitioner of the arcane arts. May I ask about your specialty?”

“Uh, mostly I blast shit. Technically I'm a warlock sorcerer mix.” Francis didn't see the point in lying. He wasn't sure if the different kinds of casters got along. But he figured he was about to find out. “The robes belonged to the lich I drank.”

“BWAHAHA!” Cassi laughed until tears streamed down his face. “You drank Zed the Undead’s soul jar? That is amazing!”

“Yeah, it was kind of an accident.” Francis admitted. “You see, he had labeled it as pickles. And I really like pickles.”

When Cassi was done laughing he led Francis downstairs to the kitchen and handed him a mug of hot chocolate. “Cheers.” He said as they clinked mugs together. “To new neighbors.”

“To new friends.” Francis replied. “So, what's your magical specialty?”

“I am a confectionary wizard.” Cassi explained. “I can do pretty much anything involving sugar. But chocolate is my passion. That's why I changed my last name to Theobroma. Plus, I hated my old one.” He shuddered at the memory.

Francis considered the implications of a chocolate wizard. “Is racism a thing here?” He asked. “I’m a portal jumper and I just arrived a day ago. Willow explained the whole heritage thing to me. Back where I come from, some people are assholes about dumb shit like skin tone. Is it the same here?”

“Unfortunately.” Cassi replied. “It’s hard being a chocolate wizard sometimes. But things are getting better, little by little.”

“Here’s to things getting better.” Francis raised his mug and took a sip. “Say, Cassi. I need to go back into town and finish my meeting with the local lord. Besides, I need to tell Willow I'm not hurt. Did you want to tag along with?”

“I'd be delighted to.” Cassi said. “It's so nice to get a warm welcome, right out the gate.”

“Well, Lord Kelvin is a piece of shit. So he'll probably say something stupid.” Francis warned. Then an idea came to him. “How much do you charge for assortments? And do you have any of those red heart shaped boxes?”