Melody of Mana

I stumbled up to my room, closing the door behind me. The battle had been long an hard, the aggression, passive. Oh the lessons I'd learned, and how I knew that I'd missed many, from my mother this night on telling someone you were pissed without telling them you were pissed. The repeated constantly, and in oh so many varying ways, how I'd failed to keep her in even a semblance of the loop, even venting a bit on my father for his negligence to inform her of everything. Dad had an excuse for some of it though, as he'd quite literally been on the other side of the nation and out of contact when I'd returned.

My excuses about things like operational security and the like were ignored. Particularly because of how very long I'd waited while still in Durin's home. She felt, and was not wrong, that had I really wanted to, I could have informed her that I was back in the country, if indisposed for the time being.

I lamented the fact that dad had brought me home so quickly after arriving. Had I but a few days after realizing my mistake I might have been able to send a letter ahead and head off just a bit of this disaster. Alas, it was too late for such things.

It even went so far as the food. My plate had been piled high with all the things she knew I liked the least. When I'd been a bit slow to eat she'd launched into a whole grief routine.

"What? Are you not hungry?"

"Perhaps I shouldn't have seen to dinner myself, if you ate before..."

"Did you lose your taste for home cooked meals while wandering the world dear?"

Eventually I'd surrendered and eaten. Most of it was a small broccoli variant that when cooked smelled like death, but was for some reason much beloved by my parents. Normally I'd eat almost anything, a few years of near starvation had convinced me that almost all food was good food, but she knew just the buttons to hit.

She'd even sent me to my room. I'd made a mistake it seemed, trying to claim tiredness when I arrived and hide. That failing had been cruelly exploited at the end of the meal, when mom had declared that I looked absolutely ghastly and should go to my room to rest. Now I was stuck here, in a room that was still in storage mode.

Wait, was I? I was a powerful mage, skilled and vastly experienced. I'd killed monsters, traveled to other lands far abroad. I'd brought military strategy to another level and opened up new avenues to delve even further. Perhaps one day I would be one of the most respected bards in history. I'd come face to face with some of the most powerful archmages both here and abroad and appointed myself well.

I should go down there, tell her that I was an adult, and I would decide when to rest. I could stay up with them if I chose. I rose from my bed, hands on my hips in a power pose and headed to my door.

I'd go down there and tell her that I'd be up to... I had a number of things that needed doing tonight other than sleep, important things, letters to write, spells to practice, a few things to set up for more magical research. Big things that needed doing and I would do them, from my room...

Never-mind, I chickened out halfway to the door. There really was no reason to get in another fight against a force who had a clear advantage against me tonight. No, no, I had lots and lots of things that needed doing here right now, and I could take care of them. Then I might go to bed, because it would be really late and I'd be tired, not because of any other reason.

I spun up a pair of portals on either side of my room. Even when I didn't have anything going through them they were a pretty good mana drain, one that needed to be brought down. The only way to do that unfortunately was practice. So I'd be practicing, ready should I ever need to flee or use them in a real fight.

I then moved to my desk. Luckily it still had a few pens around and a well for ink. The spells for making both that and paper had been drilled into me at school, and practiced enough times that supplying those was no problem.

First I started up a supply order for some mice, and tools for keeping them. This wasn't odd at all, as any bard or priest who needed to practice healing spells would often use mice or some other small animal for that purpose. They were cheap, easy to keep, and nobody really cared if they were hurt or killed. My explanation, should anyone care to ask, would be that after my experiences I wanted to work on some of my more advanced healing spells, particularly those for limb regrowth. That actually wasn't a bad idea, as if things with Durin and the empire went south I might well need those spells.

What I would actually be doing is trying to develop a spell to suffocate them. It was... kinda dark that I was thinking of killing the little furry guys, but I really, really needed more offenses, and I couldn't practice that on humans. Perhaps I could find a way to make them sleep first? So as to not cause undo pain and suffering. Most people in this world didn't really care about animals, so I unfortunately couldn't buy anything to just knock them out. Spells would be used for that, and I was no priest.

I dropped the portals as I finished. The drain on those was still too high to keep them going for long, and I had scant practice at longer ranges. I wasn't immediately passing out like I first had, and could manage them for a bit, but it was still a lot. I also badly needed to secure a new, very, very private, practice area larger than just my room, a problem for later.

Briefly I considered if I should go to develop a spell like Justin had used, but that idea felt bad. I had a working model now, and one I could use for awhile at least, starting over from scratch seemed a bit of an ask. Finding a way to put them in places I couldn't see was added to the list though. Was he using some kind of detection spell? Could I use something like that to see places out of view? Hmm, every issue seemed to add more to my plate again.

I sighed, the methods I'd used to pass my class on battle magic had been effective, but certainly weren't the end-all be-all. Most of what I could do was misdirection and control type magic, which had a place, but I couldn't get complacent. I needed to keep working, to keep developing new tools, to stand still might well be to die.

I had another task to take to first though, one that I dreaded. Going back over the mail I'd received while at the emperors fortress I picked up three of the letters. Regardless of how I felt or what I wanted, something I was a bit unsure of in the long run myself, it would be rude to not respond at all.

Taking my time I composed a letter, telling him that I was well, and glad to hear that he was too. Then I scrapped it, thinking it was too formal. Then I composed another, which felt a little too flirty, something I wasn't going for right now. The fourth, oh the fourth was a disaster that was tossed into my fireplace with extra vigor. This process repeated itself several times until I finally had something that felt right. It was dishearteningly similar to my first attempt, but composed in Atali. I'd spent years learning the language so I was damn well going to keep using it, and he might like that I'd gone through the trouble too.

As the failed letters curled in the fire it occurred to me that I was being a walking trope, something that rankled a bit. What could you do though? Some things just had to be done right, and the right way was often a pain in the neck.

A knock came from the door and after starting a bit I slowly rose to see who it was. Upon opening it I found my mother, a bowl of ice cream in hand and a thoughtful look on her face. How and from where she'd gotten that I didn't know, but with a few magical items it wouldn't be too problematic to make...

"Your father and I had a bit of dessert after you retired. I came to see if you were still up," she declared.

"Yeah, I had some mail that needed getting done." As she offered out the bowl I gave a small, "Thanks."

She hugged me, far tighter and for longer than when I'd first entered. "I am glad you're home Alana," she said, sounding a bit sad. "But I worry. The boys are off to... well war, constantly, and then you disappear for nearly a year again. I'm not even told where you are most of the time you're here."

"Mom, you know I can't talk about a lot of it."

"I do, I do. I don't suppose you'd consider settling down and taking something quiet to do?" She asked, not even sounding convinced herself.

"I'm afraid that option isn't really there for me right now." That got me a frown. "Even if it were though, I'd go nuts if I weren't getting up to something, that would just be... kind of boring I think. Maybe one day..." I had always entertained a few ideas, but this seemed the wrong time. "But not now."

She gave me a big sigh. "Very well, eat your ice cream and go to bed dear. You do really look tired." She wasn't wrong, I was exhausted from the day, and all the mana I'd burned practicing my portals.

"I will go to bed when I'm good and ready," I declared with a huff. "Which, I mean, is actually in just a bit, but because I want to, not because you told me to."

She looked at me dead for a solid ten seconds, then started laughing. "Alright then Alana, do as you please. Tomorrow is going to be busy though, unpacking and all." She turned and started walking down the hall. "Oh, and you've yet to tell me about this nice elven boy your brother mentioned."

I was going to kill him, and it would be justified. That particular point had been avoided all of dinner. Father had kept his mouth shut while I'd similarly studiously avoided the subject like the plague. Had I only known that John had run his big mouth. Maybe running away now would be best.

No, it was too late now at any rate, so I ate my ice cream. It was flavored with the same fruit my brothers had taken me to pick all those years ago, one of my all time favorites. This reminded me of easier times, happy times in the village when there were no wars, no country spanning politics. Just my family, happy and whole. Before the war, and the famine, back when Rod was still alive.

When I fell asleep I dreamed, dreamed of those times. My brothers, dumb as they could be were there with me, roaming the forest once again. We looked for fruit, and gathered mushrooms once more, and I was happy.