Misadventures Incorporated

Chapter 361 - The Stifled Sword V

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Dear Diary,

Today I hit level 100! Lina hasn’t levelled much because the bandits we’ve been fighting lately have been kinda weak, so I’ve been mopping them all up by myself.

Master says that I have a knack for hunting them down and that I should make that my job if I ever need money, but I don’t really know what he means. I didn’t do anything special. Their hideout was just super obvious. It was literally a big fort on the side of the road!

Ms. Olga says we’re gonna celebrate as soon as we manage to get to a big town. Apparently there used to be more big towns around, but the queen that took over a while ago is super greedy and annoying. I didn’t get to hear the rest because she started swearing and Lina covered my ears.

Lia

___

A somewhat annoyed Sylvia begrudgingly climbed the stairs and entered the room where Claire was sound asleep. Sighing audibly, she closed the door behind her, approached the bed, and lightly pressed her paws against the qiligon’s face. She shook her as she always did, but while Claire usually sprang up as soon as she was touched, she remained entirely unresponsive.

Thinking nothing of the circumstance, Sylvia shook the lyrkress again. But again, she refused to rise.

She was almost tempted to think that it was a prank. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Claire had pulled something similar, but if that were the case, she would have already sprung the trap and found herself captured between the moose's arms.

She didn't notice anything that seemed off until she thought to examine the lyrkress’ status, at which point she found her missing half her health. It was still going down. Large chunks vanished at a time, only for the total to rapidly recover at random; it was going from near empty to full in a matter of seconds, like it often would when she used her drain. It still wasn't quite as fast as the rate that her countrymen showed, but it was high enough to catch Sylvia off guard; Claire was incapable of rapid regeneration with no target at hand.

What concerned her more than the healing was the damage inflicted. It was almost like she was being struck, rapidly, but her body showed no signs of harm. The symptoms seemed to suggest that it was a status ailment, but with nothing showing up on the panel, Sylvia could only conclude that the lyrkress was cursed.

That did not come as much of a surprise in and of itself. While the god of curses was certainly most skilled at their infliction and removal, he was not the only one with the associated power. Just as anyone could still block out a time slot in their agenda, anyone could cast a curse. It was more a question of when and how. Sylvia had been by her side from start to finish. She had watched over her to ensure nothing went wrong, and she hadn’t sensed any curses.

The half-elf poured her mana into the snake-moose’s body and performed a much deeper scan. But again, she found nothing. Sylvia was left to tilt her head as she stared blankly at the null reference.

“Get on with it already,” grumbled Panda, from the other side of the doorway. “What the hell are you waiting for?”

“I’m trying, but she’s not waking up,” said Sylvia. “And her HP is bouncing all over the place. I’m not really sure what’s going on.”

“Let me have a look,” said Krail. He placed a hand on the knob, but the door refused to budge.

“Nuh-uh, no way!” cried the fox. “She’s basically naked right now and the sheets are only covering her face.”

“Then move them!” shouted Panda.

“That’s not gonna help! She turned back into a longmoose, so she’s way too big. And plus, I’m probably gonna be better at looking than any of you are anyway!”

“Couldn’t you just make a new set instead?” suggested Krail. “The same way you made this building.”

“Oh yeah… good idea,” said the fox. “One sec.” She clapped her paws together and made a massive blanket. She started with one that was perfectly Claire-sized and draped it right over her body, but she changed her mind after taking a second look. She herself wasn’t particularly bothered by the resulting silhouette, but she could have easily seen her great-grandfather getting off on the outline, so she transformed it into a sheet that covered the entire room. “Okay! You can come in now.”

The others streamed into the bedroom in single file, curious looks written upon their faces. It was the blanket’s fault; the massive woolly carpet was three centimeters thick and covered in illustrations of fish. It spanned the entire space, capturing everything from the drawers to the desk to the massive moose.

Claire wasn’t helping. One of the thickest parts of her tail lay by the door, and it was wide enough that it was difficult to step over. Only Krail and his longer legs could make the jump without contact, and the death glare on Sylvia’s face suggested that it was best avoided. It was thanks to the resulting pressure that Panda silently begged the elf to lift him, while Lana remained standing on the other side. Only Boris and Starrgort ignored it, with the former using his mistress as a ladder to climb onto the bed and the latter assuming his usual place on the shelf.

“Anyway, uhmmm, I don’t really know what’s wrong with her, but she’s randomly taking damage and not waking up.” She gave the lyrkress another shake, but it was to no avail. Claire refused to stir.

Krail plodded over to the bed and grabbed the sheets, but he was cut short by a glare.

“What are you doing?” asked Sylvia.

“Examining her,” said the older elf. “Before you ask, I’m not a doctor, but I figure I could do a bit of a preliminary check at least.”

The fox nodded, but remained on her guard. She continuously scanned his mind as he held his hand in front of her face and otherwise touched her body. They still hadn’t identified the informant, and the last thing she wanted was for someone to attack Claire while she was still down.

“I’m pretty sure I see the proble—”

“Don’t be stupid. She’s not dead,” said Sylvia. “She doesn’t need to breathe, and she’s always supposed to be that cold.”

“You sure?” he said, with his brow raised.

“Mhm,” said Sylvia. “Her heart’s still beating and I can see her HP. It’s still being weird, but…”

“Alright, well I’m pretty much out of ideas then.” The elf prodded her with his staff, but she refused to stir.

“I have an idea,” said Lana. “Water.”

“One sec.” Sylvia crafted an illusory bucket in the air and dumped it over her pet. There was enough liquid in the container to half flood the room and send a torrent downstairs, but the results were moot.

“We could hit her,” suggested Panda. “A light slap or two has always worked. I mean, not exactly a fair trade there but we aren’t exactly in a position to negotiate.”

“Mmnnn… Let’s see.” Sylvia lightly smacked Claire in the chin with her tail. The continuous attacks whipped the lyrkress’ head back and forth. “Nope.”

“Well shit,” muttered Panda. “It’s starting to sound like we’ll have to go without her.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Sylvia tapped a paw against her chin. “Wait for me outside. We can go after I do some stuff to make sure she’s gonna be safe.” She wasn’t exactly fond of the idea. Even if Claire had given her the go-ahead, she still wanted to wait for her to wake up before seeing things through. She had the feeling that the lyrkress was hoping for a rematch with the Pollux at least, and it wouldn’t quite be the same if she captured the man and allowed them to fight under her conditions.

“You better be quick,” said Panda. “Time’s wasting and we haven’t got long to begin with. Maybe a few hours at most.”

“Don’t worry!” said Sylvia. “It’ll only take a few minutes.”

She shooed everyone out of the room and started to sing, casting a series of barriers around the upper level that shrouded it in a perfect defence. She pumped several layers of spells on top, namely autonomous drones to detect everything but vector magic. Once she was sure that all sound and sight were cut off, she applied a regeneration buff to her favourite person, shrank her into a tiny bubble, and hid her in her tail.

The pocket dimension was the safest space she had—a place that would remain perfectly protected except from those well-versed in their vectors. Everything else had only been for show—she had even artificially dragged out the process to feign a much lower cast speed.

She teleported out of the barrier once she was done, appearing behind it so she would not be spotted. Another few steps later, and she was on top of the circle, waving as she scrutinized the crowd for a possible traitor. Much to her dismay, no one really stood out, but she slid down the massive shield regardless and planted her feet before the observers.

“Mkay, I’m done,” she said.

“You’re way more than done,” muttered Panda, as he rapped his non-broken paw against the barrier. “This thing’s solid enough to eat an attack from an aspect.”

“Maybe, I dunno,” said Sylvia. “So uhmmm… are we just gonna head there right away, or what?” She took another look at the raccoon before finally healing his wounds. It wasn’t that she had forgotten, but rather that she hadn’t exactly cared for his well-being.

“Thanks,” he said, with a grunt. “We’ll have to head straight over unless anyone has objections.”

“You never gave us an explanation, and we never settled on a plan,” said Krail. “It’d probably be best to do that first.”

“Right, we were supposed to wait for the girl.” The raccoon scratched the back of his head. “So the long and short of it is that your buddies are about to get executed because Porcius is a fucking dumbass. Piece of shit couldn’t tell profit from loss if you hit him in the face with a bag of gold. You’re pretty much going to need to bail them out as quick as you can.”

“That’s all fine and dandy,” said Krail, “but I doubt we can help you with much outside of working out a route. If it wasn’t obvious enough from the way we just got our asses handed to us, we’re too weak, even to serve as a distraction.”

“Right.” Panda sighed. “The fox is the only one that’s got anything going for her, and they’ll be on the lookout now that they know what she can do.”

“Mmnnn, I can probably fix that,” said Sylvia. “I’m a bard, so I’ll just sing a bit and give you some buffs and stuff.”

“I don’t know how much that’ll help,” said Krail. “Unless your buffs can triple all our stats, I doubt we’d stand a chance.”

“I think I have one that’ll probably do the trick,” said Sylvia, “but it’s got a few drawbacks.”

“What kind of drawbacks?”

“Well, I kinda can’t really choose the stat it affects. It’s totally random and lasts for a solid few hours. I kinda can’t really change what you end up getting until it wears off either.”

“Do you have anything else?” he asked, with a grimace.

“I’ve got one that’s like ten times stronger but changes the stat it affects once every two seconds.”

Krail groaned. “I know the exact song you’re talking about, but I don’t know anyone that’s ever put it to good use. You’d have to be clinically insane.”

“Claire seemed to be pretty okay with it when I tried it on her.”

“You’re only proving my point,” muttered the elf. “Anyway, we’ll probably be able to take part if we end up with something decent.”

“Good,” said Panda. “We’re going to need all the manpower we can get if we want to get them out safely,” he paused briefly. “How big is the area on that buff of yours. You think you can nail all our allies?”

“Probably,” said Sylvia. "It'll be applied to everyone that hears it, and I can make them hear me no matter what.”

“You do have the more traditional stuff too, right? Think you can ask everyone what they want and give the grubby little bastards whatever they choose?”

“Yeah. That'd be pretty easy.”

“Alright, in that case…” He tapped a foot against the ground whilst running through his thoughts again. “I might just have a plan.”

___

Arciel lightly tapped her fan against her chin as she followed the discoloured moose. He was leading them to the dining hall back on the fleet’s mothership so they could enjoy their final meal. The atmosphere was tense; her allies had their faces scrunched up in thought as they stealthily tested their restraints and evaluated their conditions. Everyone was looking for an out.

As the scenario was presented, it seemed like death was imminent. Sylvia likely could have bailed them out if she was aware, as she had when they were on the verge of losing the battle, but Arciel had no way of relaying the situation. They had to bank on her checking in, but that was unlikely given the time remaining.

They needed to figure a way out of the situation themselves and put it into action as quickly as they could. Possible solutions raced through her mind as she entered the lord’s guest room; her brain was too preoccupied with working through her options to spare the fancy decorations a second glance. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, it looked like they had reached an impasse. The Cadrians could overpower them in a straight encounter even without their restraints and lack of weaponry. She was confident she could escape by herself if it really came down to the wire—she could avoid physical attacks by jumping from shadow to shadow, and it wouldn’t be too difficult to shake them off her tail—but running away by her lonesome was only her last resort. She didn’t want to be the only one to escape.

“We’ve arrived,” said the warden. He knew what they were thinking. He showed them into the dining room with a grin as wide as the sea. “Please do be quick. The men are itching to see your executions.” Chuckling to himself, he closed the door behind them, his eyes shining through the gap until it was closed completely.

Ciel took a breath, her mind still working as she scanned the dining chamber. There were a few vulnerabilities, such as the glass windows and the door that led into a courtyard garden, but none of them were faulty enough to draw her eyes for long. Her gaze eventually wandered to the lord, who was already seated at the table and awaiting their arrival.

She had expected him to share the carnivorous gaze his servant had worn, but all she got from him was boredom. He was sitting at the table with a hand propping up his chin and not a single hint of dignity anywhere to be seen. Even the way he raised his gaze was slobby; he clearly had no interest in engaging them in conversation. She had known that he was a replacement, and Panda’s documents had confirmed that he was far from celebrated, but she hadn’t understood the reality until she saw it for herself.

Not even his servants seemed to respect him. He hadn’t been served a drink even though he had been waiting for long enough that his face revealed a mark when he lazily removed his hand.

“You’re here,” he said, with a bored grunt.

“Good evening,” said Arciel. She performed the sort of bow that one would expect from a lady in a gentleman’s shirt. “It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Arci—”

“Don’t bother with the bullshit.” The fresh marquis waved his hand dismissively. “I know you don’t want to be here, and honestly, neither do I. How about we get the food out of the kitchen, into our bellies, and go our separate ways, yeah?”

Arciel frowned. “You are aware of what that entails for us?”

“Execution? Yeah, I mean what else do you expect?” he said, with a lazy grunt. “Someone on your side completely annihilated one of our cities. There were basically no survivors. Course the boys are thirsting for blood.”

“What then of your pride as Cadrians? Would you not be condoned for intervening and preventing the battle that we have agreed upon?”

Porcius shrugged. “Honestly, yeah. This stunt is probably going to get me in some pretty deep shit.” The man gave the witch a long, proper look. “But at the very least, I doubt I’ll be coming out of this any worse than you.”

“I suppose not.” Arciel lowered her gaze and took a breath before returning it. “It appears that we remain incapable of negotiating our release.”

“Pretty much.”

“Will you not allow us some time to prepare ourselves at least? If I am to be executed, I would prefer to look my best, so that I maintain my dignity as Queen of Vel’khan.”

The deer took a few seconds to scratch the case of his antlers. “I dunno.”

“It shall provide greater leverage when you negotiate with your king to attest that we were well treated.”

Another brief pause.

“Eh, what the hell. Sure, why the fuck not? Take your time. At the end of the day, nothing’s gonna change.”

“Thank you. I appreciate your leniency and understanding.”

The witch feigned a smile and took a seat. 

Stalling was the best that she could do.