Misadventures Incorporated

Chapter 373 - Giants, Raccoons, and Giant Raccoons II

“Do you feel like visiting anyone?” Claire asked the question as they entered Sky Lagoon. They had returned to the cliff that overlooked the archipelago, with the citadel floating in the air in front of them and the portal to Mirewood Marsh directly to their rear. Darkwood Hollow—Sylvia’s childhood home—was only a hop, a skip, and a jump away.

“Mmnn…” The fox brought a paw to her face and briefly buried it in her muzzle. “I think I’m gonna be okay. I’m not really in the mood right now, and we can basically visit them whenever we want if we’re gonna start coming monthly. Plus, I’m kinda worried about Ciel.”

“Right.” Claire spread both the wings on her back and the wings on her ankles as she lowered her head right next to her pet. “We should do something for her.”

“I’ve been thinking that too, but I’m not really sure what.” Sylvia climbed aboard without any further instruction, and after assuming her elven form, squeezed her legs around the lyrkress’ neck. “It’s kinda tough. She’s had Matty with her ever since she came out of stasis.”

Claire nodded. She didn’t know what to do or say. Following Lia’s death, her own comfort had been derived mainly from Sylvia’s presence, and she doubted that Arciel would find much solace in either of theirs. Still, she decided that it would be better to hurry over. No matter what, she was better present than not.

The thought lasted until she leapt off the cliff, until the wind rushed by her face and pulled her memories to the forefront. It was precisely because she leapt from that very cliff that she had learned to fly, because she sank into Sky Lagoon’s depths that she had learned to swim, and because she had explored its settlements that she had killed her first thrice-ascended.

Her lips twisted into a smile as she shot across the sky. Rather than taking the straight-line path that she had originally identified, she looped around the dungeon, passing by its floating islands and confronting her old foes. She crashed through them, obliterating a mind-controlling deer, a few stray crabs, and a whole slew of porky hyenas before she dived into the ocean and waved at a pod of manatees.

Though they failed to recognize her, the friendly, confused, Llystletein blobs waved right back, fluttering their flippers as they danced through the sea.

Since she was already present, Claire dove a little deeper, past the layer where the foxes fished, and crushed a monopus with a swipe of the tail. When she rose, she did so with a whole school of edibles in tow. Helpless before her vectors, they could do nothing but splash and flail as she lifted them up beyond the waves.

Her pet got to indulging immediately. Sylvia ate every morsel thrown her way in just one or two bites apiece. Even with only two legs, she caught them like a dog, leaping up into the air to grab them with her mouth.

Giggling, Claire dove again and grabbed another school from the deepest depths. She launched the foxgirl a hundred meters up on her way out of the water and practically pelted her with treats. Right then, as Sylvia’s guard was at its lowest, she turned into a humanoid and caught her with a tackling hug.

They landed in the water together, with the fox getting soaked through and the water washing off the caldriess’ scales. The pair wrestled for control, laughing even as they were eventually washed up on the beach.

“Mmk, that’s probably enough,” said Sylvia, a big smile on her face. “We should really go.”

“Yeah. We should.” The snake-moose’s actions were at odds with her words. She closed her eyes and rolled over, using the foxgirl’s arm as a pillow as she buried her face in her side.

“Uhmmm… Claire?”

“Zzzzz…”

“People who are asleep don’t say ‘Zzzzz!’”

“‘Zzzzz…’ snored the caldriess.”

“Oh, great. Not this again.” Sylvia sighed as she started tickling the lyrkress’ chin with her tail, only to find it captured between the smaller girl’s arms. “Come on, we gotta go.”

Claire slowly opened her eyes and sat up as she released her hostage. “I couldn’t help it. It’s been so long.”

“I know,” said Sylvia. “But Ciel’s gonna start getting paranoid.”

Nodding, the lyrkress rose to her feet and started off towards the portal. Even from far away, it was clear as day, standing almost ten meters tall and four meters wide, the stone construct was at odds with the rest of the tropical paradise. The rock was not the same sandy brown as the cliffs, but rather a deep grey, with carvings and inscriptions all over its frame.

Claire advanced in a straight line. She walked across the water and climbed over the tiny islands. The few monsters that tried to attack her were torn to shreds, ripped in half by her vectors before they could even get close; a few minutes was all it took for them to arrive at their destination.

Grabbing a potion from her pet, Claire raised the test tube to the sun and carefully scrutinized its contents. The dense liquid shimmered in the light. It wasn’t like water. Rather than flowing smoothly in the container, it glopped around as would a clot of blood. She shuddered as she imagined its metallic flavour. Putting it in her body seemed like a terrible idea, but when combined with Sylvia’s lack of caution, the seemingly indefinite duration of their contract sufficed to lower her guard.

Magically pulling the cork, she raised the tube to her lips and reluctantly downed its contents. The flavour was not quite as bad as she expected. It wasn’t delicious, by any means. Sickly sweet, the floral liquid reminded her more of pure honey than it did any balanced concoction.

Its effects took hold immediately. Whereas the ether lit her body on fire, the stabilizer induced a sensation she had long lost and forgotten.

It made her body cold.

It almost felt like she was back up on his mountain, stuck in the storm. But rather than pelting her body, the snow wormed its way inside, flooding her circuits with its icy grip. She couldn’t tell if it was because it was the lack of hostility, or if it was thanks to her resistance, but she didn’t mind, even as it spread its way down to the tips of her toes.

A cursory check revealed that her systems were all in order. Her mana flowed with an impossible smoothness, almost as it had before she crushed the southernmost marquis. It wasn’t quite the same. There were still small faults and leaks, losses that she could feel, but she was no longer forcing it through. Her circuits obeyed her commands. And even her divinity regained its function.

The ice came readily, much more readily than it ever had in the past. It flooded from her feet, transforming the island from a summer paradise to a mountain of ice in a matter of moments. Sylvia barely managed to slip away. Half panicked, the fox leapt into the air and scampered away, leaping from bubble to bubble until she escaped its range.

“Claire! What the heck!?”

“Sorry.” The words were heavily muffled, spoken by the caldriess trapped in the mountain of ice. She pushed it apart, peeling the layers like the petals of a flower as she rose from its core. From her place in the air, she stared at the blossom, its petals twisting and turning with each motion of her fingers.

She had only spent a few thousand points. She had only meant to create a tiny patch. And yet, it had exploded into a massive glob. It took a moment for her to realise it, but that was simply how it was supposed to function. She was thrice ascended. Most mages of such a calibre had tools in their kit that would allow them to make their marks on cities. They came just as cheaply as most other spells, simply trading their firepower for a larger area of effect. Claire’s ice magic was no different. If anything, it only made sense for it to be more potent with her shard being what it was.

It should have been a point of pride to see her magic so efficient, but Claire was just left bitter. All it really did was drive home the idea that she was entirely dysfunctional. There was still much room for improvement.

Sighing, she got to work on her half of the bargain. She carefully twisted the ice, forcing it into the image of a very specific immortal. Capturing the deity’s sparkling, galactic eyes was more or less impossible, but she did at least manage to emulate the eternal frown that accompanied her eternal flow.

Claire nodded in satisfaction when she was done. The goddess was depicted almost exactly as she recalled her, albeit with a fancy-looking beard upon her lips and a nose three times its actual size. Her divine dress had also been swapped for an outfit that disguised her as a pine tree with a face, which was to say that, frown aside, the sculpture looked nothing like the goddess at all.

“Uhmmm… Claire? Weren’t you supposed to like, you know, make the goddess of the flow?”

“I was, and I did,” said the lyrkress. “This is just,” she paused for a moment, “an artistic rendition.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s just gonna blow it up the moment she sees it,” giggled the fox.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Claire pinched the half-elf’s nose and tickled the bottom of her chin as the icy structure fixed itself. The tree-shaped shell turned into a beautiful dress wrapped around a delicate figure, the beard moved up to unravel into her hair, and her nose dissolved, filling out her face with a set of divinely beautiful features. There was even a signature woven into the hem of its dress, albeit a small one unlikely to be spotted.

“See? It’s fine.”

“You can’t say that after I watched you fix it, silly.”

“Too bad.”

Whipping up another portal, Claire grabbed Sylvia, who returned to her usual fox-like shape, and made her way back to Skarnia. They were back up above the clouds, but she folded her wings in and allowed gravity to do its thing.

She fell like a missile. The wind rushed by her face and through her hair as she plummeted towards the city. She guided herself only the tiniest bit, steering with her tail so she fell towards the inn. Exactly twelve centimeters from its roof, she came to a sudden stop; every vector that affected her was instantly dispelled by her magic, gravity’s pull included.

A cursory stretch of the ears revealed that some of the others were up, so she hopped down from the three-story building and moved towards the window from which she had escaped. Magically flipping the lock, she opened the makeshift door with another and slipped her way inside.

Surely enough, the others were awake. Arciel, the reigning queen of Vel’khan, was the only one still in bed. She remained under the covers, face up with her crimson eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling above. She was not disguised in the usual, humanoid form, but rather the half squid-like shape that had been her original prior to her third ascension.

Her legs had unravelled into a series of long, purple tentacles and her skin had turned a shade of bright blue. The same could be said of her hair, which had gone from its usual murky green-black to a dark violet shade. Even that was apparently a disguise, though the queen refused to reveal or describe exactly what it was disguising. In all likelihood, not even her maid was aware.

The maid in question was sitting at the desk, repairing the expensive dress shirt her mistress had worn into battle just a few days prior. Though a bloodsucker like her mistress, Chloe shared little beyond the kraken’s eye colour. In fact, despite having transformed into a lewd ancestor—a creature half between a succubus and a vampire—she looked almost exactly as she had in her human days. Her only racial features were her pointed fangs, her blonde hair, her tiny hip wings, and the heart-tipped tail growing out from behind her hips.

She sat across from Lana, a tiny wolfgirl who doubled as one of the two of Vel’khan’s nationally sanctioned pirates. The canine in question, who was at least three times as old as she looked, was silent as ever, staring out the window as she ate her breakfast.

“Uhmmmm… hey everyone, we’re back!” Sylvia lifted one of her fuzzy mittens and spoke in a cheery tone.

There wasn’t much of a response in spite of her best efforts. Lana nodded and Chloe smiled, while Arciel whispered a quiet “Good Morning.”

The queen turned over when the fox approached and gave her head a scratch. Like Chloe, she forced a smile, but the cracks were clear from the hesitant motion of her hands.

“Have you enjoyed your morning flight?” she asked.

“Yeah, it was great!” chirped the fox. “We decided to head back to Llystletein for a bit and say hi to my great-grandpa.”

“That does seem like a fairly entertaining way to spend the morning,” said the squid, weakly.

“Y-yeah,” agreed Sylvia.

There was an awkward pause, a moment of silence where no one said anything else.

“Mmmnnnn… do you want me to sing you a song or something? Will that make you feel better?”

“I require no consolation, Sylvia. You need not concern yourself.”

“Okay, now you’re just lying,” huffed the vixen. “Are you sure a song isn’t gonna make you feel any bet—”

A hand covered the furball’s mouth before she could finish the sentence. When the fox looked up, she found Claire, shaking her head as she squeezed her best friend’s cheeks.

“That’s enough.”

“Mkay.” The fox hung her head with a pout. “Maybe later then.”

“Maybe.” Claire sat down on the squid’s bed with her back towards its occupant. She looked out the window, staring briefly into the city’s streets before she started to speak. “We’ll be crossing the border today. Has Griselda said anything about Zarkaahn?”

Arciel took a breath. “I have heard little from her since we crossed into Skarnia, but I believe we were informed of a creature to hunt in Zarkaahn and another in the nation beyond it.”

“Then we better get going.” Claire got to her feet, but Arciel refused to budge. She continued to sit where she was with her head hung low. “Get up,” said the lyrkress. “He wouldn’t have wanted you to sit here and mope.”

The squid clenched her fists. “I suppose not.”

“Then stop.” Claire magically grabbed the tentacle monster and dragged her out of bed. She levitated her straight over to the table, where breakfast was ready and waiting.

“It is easier said than done.”

“I know. But do it.” Shoving a piece of bread into the monarch’s mouth, she stepped out of the room and knocked on the door across the hall to wake the rest of the party.

They needed to move.

There wasn’t enough time for them to waste. They needed to inflate their levels before the summer solstice fell upon them again.