Misadventures Incorporated

Chapter 394 - The Frozen Flame VII

It didn’t take long for Claire to arrive on the dungeon’s fifth floor. Like the third, the fourth had been irritatingly predictable, another endless ocean with everything scaled up and all the monsters’ levels bumped forward. The bump itself was significant—more of the fish were over a thousand than not. Still, the amount of experience they netted was effectively nonexistent.

They were only worth as much as the tiny first kill bonuses they provided. Most of them went into wisdom at first, on account of the magical nature of their deaths, but she stopped squeezing them from afar as she recalled the stat’s efficiency. There was more short term gain in raising her physical abilities, so she resorted to chasing them down as would an ocean predator. They were surprisingly quick to run, but not even their swiftest turns had been able keep up with the mobility provided by her vectors.

The wildlife and magnitude aside, the only major difference between the second and fourth was that the latter came with its rocks already smushed together and its door already spawned. Overall, her progress was much quicker despite the difference in scale.

Upon arriving on the fifth floor, she expected to see something that resembled either the first or the third, but thankfully, it was nothing of the sort.

A bright, starry sky awaited on the other side of the door. And with it, a wall of rolling hills that extended as far as the horizon. They were covered with flowers—bright, white blossoms spread wide beneath the moonlit sky. Though, it was only thanks to her ability to magnify her vision that she was able to see them in the vivid detail she did.

Claire, Boris, and Starrgort, who had managed to tag along despite her best efforts to lose him, stood far beyond the field’s widest reaches. They were so high up in the air that even the volcano beneath them was but a distant speck.

It wasn’t like they stood on an obvious platform. Though they were certainly present in their surroundings, there were no clouds directly beneath their feet, nor any other objects that one could easily observe. It looked like they were floating, even though Claire could feel a distinct something beneath her talons and hooves.

The material was of a rigid construction. It was tough enough that it didn’t crumble when she tapped her claws against it and Starrgort’s feet clacked with every step he took. She tried looking for distortions, reflections, or bits of uncleanliness, as one might see through panels of glass, but there was nothing. The floor remained perfectly invisible even as she dug at it with her talons. It wasn’t like she had failed to destroy the foothold. She could feel its flakes poking into her palms, but somehow, they simply remained unseen.

It was a curious result, but Claire dismissed it with a shake of the head and looked towards her destination.

Like the lyrkress and her companions, the door was floating in the middle of the sky. It was maybe a hundred meters away, and its vibrant glow served to demonstrate that it was already open. At first, she assumed it to be the fault of another person or party. Perhaps someone had come ahead of her and eliminated the boss before she could dig her fangs into its spine, but it didn’t seem likely. There was no blood in the air, nor any of the magical residue a battle was sure to have left.

The clouds, likewise, were too perfect and intact for her to think them damaged by some sort of conflict. It was probably the sort of floor upon which one could easily rest.

Claire, however, had no need for such a facility. She flapped her wings and prepared to depart, only to a particularly curious scenario. She couldn’t lift off the ground. She tried again, throwing her vectors into the mix for good measure, but again, she was denied. Perhaps thanks to the experience derived from the previous four floors, she interpreted the effects almost immediately. The ability was being suppressed. Something, or perhaps someone, had stolen it from under her nose.

It was a peculiar development, but she continued towards the door regardless, taking one small step at a time, with her ears twitching and a fresh set of eyes looking in every direction. Her guard was at its maximum, watching in case the flight negation was sourced from some sort of monster.

That seemed to be the more reasonable explanation. Or at least it would have been had she felt any eyes upon her. But there were none. She couldn’t see, hear, or feel anything else in the space. There was no bloodlust, no malicious intent, no hostile gazes to ever waft in her direction. All she felt was confusion until she took one too many steps and found a hole in the invisible floor.

She barely touched it. Her claws sank maybe a third of a centimetre past the missing ground level before the world began to warp. All of a sudden, the night sky was gone. A creature with no night vision would have found nothing but a veil of darkness, but Claire clearly saw the starry canvas replaced by one of rock and stone. A rubbery sack suddenly formed around her, enclosing her within the space as a strange pink mist flooded through its interior.

Log Entry 856630
You have been poisoned. Your health regeneration has been halved for the next 17 minutes.

Log Entry 856631
You have been afflicted with extreme drowsiness, however your constitution has allowed you to fully resist its effects.

Claire tilted her head before brandishing a claw and tearing open her surroundings. Emerging out the other side, she found herself standing in an oversized corridor with a half-dead mimic flailing in pain behind her.

She managed to stay calm, for the most part, but she could feel one of her eyes twitching as she took a second look at her surroundings and confirmed her position again.

There was a group of unconscious adventurers right by the floor’s entrance, and a series of dead mimics strewn all along the hall. The door at the opposite end of the hallway sported a small, caldriess-shaped hole in it, and with her telescopic eyes, she could narrowly make out the expansive, vertical space that lay directly behind it.

A groan escaped her lips. There was no denying it. She had been warped back to the third floor and shoved straight inside of a mimic.

Still, it was no big deal. Tucking in her body, she flapped her wings and cast her vectors. At her top speed, it wouldn’t be long before she returned to her previous position.

Or at least that was what she thought, before she found the bosses in their pit.

Though none of the other monsters had respawned, the skeletons alone had risen from their graves and prepared to challenge her again.

Then and there, she arrived at an indisputable conclusion.

Ira’s dungeon was nothing if not a pain in the ass.

___

Sylvia sat stock still, her fingers against her lips and her cheeks a glowing red. Her brain had yet to fully reboot—she was still sitting stock still, unsure of what to think or do—but neither was she entirely offline. She had finally recovered enough to form meaningful thoughts, but they continued to go around in circles. No matter how long she pondered, no matter what she considered, she found herself incapable of drawing a decent conclusion.

It didn’t make a lick of sense for her to be so flustered. A kiss was nothing new or surprising. As one of Al’s more complete creations, she had all of the relevant knowledge engraved straight into her soul from the moment of her conception. Simulating the sensation was as easy as accessing the universal records the celestial had crafted for her kind.

And yet, the moment she was touched, her mind was lost to the winds.

Her memory of the event was hazy at best. There were at least three holes with no data recorded and another five or six with a few missing values.

Even just trying to recall them, she immediately began to tremble. Her face grew so hot that steam leaked from all four of her ears. She was assaulted by a dizzy spell, one that rocked her mind and lulled it into a moment of dysfunction.

It was all Claire’s fault. She could still taste her lips. She could still feel the forked tongue that had run against her teeth and the icy cold breath that had invaded her lungs. Data points that Al had neglected to prepare in advance.

Again, she felt her face on fire. The very world seemed to blur as her eyes grew teary, as a strange, tightening sensation assaulted her chest and stole her ability to breathe. 

It wasn't like she was entirely oblivious. Even she had realised, partway through the session, why her body had so desperately begged for more without her explicit instruction. There was something about the lyrkress’ touch that simply drove her crazy. And it was all Al’s fault.

Though she wasn't a catgirl, though she only ever meowed as a means of deception, the catgirl-based skill that Al had forced upon her unwilling pet affected her whenever they kissed. It didn’t make any sense, but it was the only possible explanation. After all, Sylvia had already ruled out all of the other possibilities.

For one, she had never thought of other girls in that way. That wasn’t to say that she disliked them. Though fairly debaucherous and otherwise universal, Al’s programming biased her further towards the sort of relationship that would allow for procreation; there was no point in fertility if no children were made.

Even setting her childhood brainwashing aside, she remained entirely confident in her evaluation. The little Al in her head would occasionally label a male as a potential mate, but no females had ever triggered the response. And though she considered it for a moment, it wasn’t on account of their species. She had seen elves, foxes, and even catgirls engage in such acts with both sexes without finding their mental states infectious. Like the kisses stored in her great-grandfather’s database, the scenes she witnessed passed through her mind as nothing but cursory knowledge. She simply didn’t see them in that way.

It wasn’t like she loved Claire either, at least not romantically. She could say with confidence that she loved her as a pet and a friend, but that was the extent of her affection. The sensation that had accompanied the almost violent kisses had never once attacked her when they just held hands or cuddled. She didn’t even feel flustered when she considered the possibility that she might have felt a lot more strongly than she thought. Thus, the conclusion was made. The loss of her mental functions was tied exclusively to the scenario that had just transpired. It had to be an outside influence at fault—the blame lay with Al and Al alone.

Knowing him, it was probably a prank, a modification that he had installed for the sole purpose of laughing at her. Such pranks were in no way beyond him. He had always been the type to mess around and laugh at everyone else’s expense.

It soon crossed her mind that she ought to complain. Al was likely to leave the modification even though she had learned of its existence. He derived as much fun from her confused reaction as he did the dilemmas sure to follow, but there was still a chance that he was bored enough to put an end to a ruse. At the very least, it wouldn't hurt to try. 

Nodding to herself, she ripped open a hole in the fabric of the world and slipped right into his realm. Another quick warp, and she was in his lab, sitting on the bench and watching as he carried out another one of his experiments. 

He did glance in her direction, but he refrained from offering a greeting post haste. The work at hand demanded all of his attention. He was modifying a genome in real time, tweaking all the cells that made up a creature at once, and twisting its body into the form that he most desired. He hadn’t even put the thing—it looked like a purple blob with far too many human legs—in stasis. It was alive and conscious throughout the process, but its mobility was entirely suppressed. Al had disconnected its nervous system, so that he could continue his operation without any of its unnecessary squirming. Piece by piece, he picked it apart and tweaked its peculiars, until it suddenly came together in the form of a humanoid squid.

It took a few seconds for Sylvia to realise that she was one of Ciel’s relatives. It was difficult to tell because her skin was dark green, while Ciel’s, in her natural form, was much closer to a faint purple. She wasn’t entirely repaired. There were still a few scars scattered all over her body, but Al was satisfied enough to plop himself down in a chair and smirk.

“These abilities of mine are truly god-like, if I do say so myself.”

“Uhmmm… I think that’s ‘cause you’re literally a demigod,” said Sylvia.

“What gave it away? Was it the omnipotence?” Laughing to himself, the old, towering human sank further into his chair and breathed a tired huff.

“Oh, come on, Al. Even I know you’re not entirely omnipotent.”

“Not entirely, no, but I daresay I’m just about omnipotent enough to guess what you’re about to say next.”

“You were literally just spying on us! That’s not omnipotence! It’s voyeurism!”

“That is, in fact, precisely the definition of omnipotence, Child.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s wrong,” said the fox, quietly. “Anyway, that’s not important! We need to talk!”

“About your love life?”

“H-huh? Why would we talk about my love life?” asked the fox, with a blink.

“I was under the impression that it was the purpose behind your visit.”

Sylvia shook her head. “My love life has nothing to do with it. I was just gonna ask you to fix Claire’s stupid catgirl skill.”

Al raised a brow. “I would love to, but frankly, it’s impossible.”

“H-huh? What the heck is that supposed to mean!?”

“She was too stubborn to accept the fetish. It was only really a matter of time before she overcame it. The only way for me to return it to working order would be to destroy her mind.”

“Gosh, Al! You can stop pretending,” said the fox, with a huff. “I’m not talking about the part that affects her! I’m talking about the part that affects other people. I know you made it so it kicks in and messes with my head whenever she kisses me!”

There was a brief moment of silence. Al slowly raised a finger and looked back upon a set of records before breaking into an explosive cackle. Practically choking on his own laughter, he smacked the table as he coughed and wheezed.

“Oh, come on! It isn’t even that funny.”

Her complaints did nothing to silence his hysterics. It wasn’t until he turned blue in the face that he finally managed to regain his composure. Even then, it wasn’t fully restored. He still laughed from time to time, snickering under his breath as he tried and failed to speak.

“It’s very funny,” he finally said, after a solid minute of self-strangulation. “Because I haven’t done anything at all.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?” Sylvia tilted her head. “You’re clearly messing with me.”

“I’ve done nothing of the sort.”

“But I wa—”

“Sylvia.” He clasped his hands in his lap, closed his eyes, and pulled his giant, floppy hat over the top half of his face. “Stop lying to yourself.”

“I’m not lying to myse—”

“She knows it. I know it. And you know it too. I admit, there are many reasons to continue feigning ignorance. The circumstances are far from clear cut, but that does not mean that you have to deny the facts.”

“I’m not.”

“Then why do you care how it feels when you kiss her?”

“Because it’s super weird. And it’s just like, you know, kind of really awkward.”

“You think that was weird and awkward?” There was no energy in his voice. He sounded more tired than entertained, like he was on the verge of falling asleep. “Alright, how about this. Take a second, close your eyes, and imagine how unpleasant and weird it’d feel if you weren’t madly in love with her.”

“H-huh? What are you talking about? I’m not madly in love with her. In fact, I’m not in love with her at all!”

Al pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed a sigh. “Sylvia, child. Do we really need to go through this whole song and dance? Are you so reluctant to admit it, so afraid of the consequences that…” He sighed. “Fine. Here.”

With a snap of the fingers, he summoned a blob of dirt in the space before him. Right away, it took Claire’s shape, perfect mimicking everything from the contours of her body to the complete lack of emotion plastered all over her face. “Try telling her that you love her.”

“I just sai—”

“Sylvia.”

“Ugh… okay, fine.” The foxgirl walked up to the statue and boldly prepared to make the proclamation, only to freeze in place before the words could part from her lips. Her cheeks grew hot and her breath grew ragged. Her heart started to pump as she recalled the sensation of their lips entwined. Suddenly, her mind was blank.

She hadn’t the faintest clue how to form the words on the tip of her tongue, how to push them through her lips and into the world.

“Do you see now, child?” Al yawned. “It is exactly as I’ve said.”

“Only because you’re messing with my head again!” shouted the fox.

“I haven’t done a thing.”

“B-but I don’t like girls that way!”

“That part is true,” said Al.

“Then ho—”

“You don’t like girls that way in general. But that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for you to like a girl that way.”

“That doesn’t make any sense…”

“It makes plenty of sense, but I can’t be bothered to explain any of the mental gymnastics,” said the demigod. “You may as well take my word for it. Need I remind you that I am your creator?”

“Are you sure you’re not just stringing me along ‘cause you wanna watch or something?”

“Well, I guess I can’t blame you for thinking it, but no, I’m not.” Al scratched his beard. “I’m aware that most of the advice I’ve given you so far has been… far from the best. Much of it was entirely for my own amusement.”

“W-wait, really?”

The old human paused for a moment before forcing a bit of a smile. “...But what I say now comes with the best of intentions.”

“Hold on! You can’t just say you were messing with me and move on! What the heck did you mean by that!?”

Al cleared his throat. “It’s often said that happiness comes from following one’s heart, but frankly, the statement is false and irresponsible.”

“Al! You can’t just keep going! Tell me what you meant by the thing you said before!”

“I serve as what is effectively the prime example. My path was carved almost entirely by following through on my whims and hearts’ desires. And as you are well aware, it has gotten me nowhere. The woman I fell for wanted nothing to do with me, not only because her heart was set, but because of the record I held. I failed to consider her feelings.” He pulled his hat further over his face, completely obscuring it from view. “My mistakes cannot be undone. I’ve done too much, committed to do much, and set myself on a course with no correction. I have no other way forward but to stoop to the lowest of the low.”

Sylvia half opened her mouth, but she soon closed it again and nodded.

“But you, child, you have the opportunity to succeed where I failed.” Al placed a hand on her head and lightly ruffled her hair. “Do not repeat my mistake and simply force your love upon her. Think long and hard about your approach. Find compromise, a middle-ground that encompasses both of your needs. But that is not to say you should abide by her wishes alone. There are times to stand strong. You are still your own person with your own needs. I won’t advise you on the particulars. They don’t have meaning if you fail to figure them out yourself.”

Sylvia clenched her fists and bit her lips as she slowly forced a nod.

“Excellent…” Al twisted his lips into a grin. “Now, how about I install a few spells that’ll help you along? Perhaps one that’ll aid you in growing a fully functional pe—”

“I-I think I’m fine without it!” said Sylvia, shouting over him. “Anyway uhmmm, thanks for advice, Al. It helped a lot.”

“Good.” He smiled. “Now off you go.”

With a snap of the fingers, he opened a hole in his realm, a portal that led right back to the place from whence she came.