Naruto: Did i Just Get Reincarnated as Gojo?

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Kakashi, looking perplexed, was whisked away by the film crew from the Land of Snow to various locations around Konohagakure for filming. Judging by the length of the movie, Gojo Kaigetsu likely wouldn't see his prized subordinate again for the next ten days to half a month. Hatake Kakashi, officially making his debut!

After handling this matter, Gojo Kaigetsu stretched and left his workstation. Two more tasks required his attention today.

“Kobori Taiten and that big-shot businessman from the Land of Water are really disrespecting me, the advisor~”

First, there was Kobori Taiten. Gojo Kaigetsu had tried both gentle persuasion and stern warnings, and Kakashi had even attempted to intervene several times, but to no avail. Taiten refused to cooperate with the publicity stunt, claiming his kunai were washed seven times a day with water. He kept ranting about honesty and integrity in business.

The next issue of *Iki III* was about to be released, and as the owner of Konoha's currently most successful and influential ninja tool shop, Kobori Taiten's participation was crucial.

However, his stubborn refusal was irritating Gojo Kaigetsu.

Then there was the businessman from the Land of Water. If his honey wasn't selling, shouldn't he reflect on his own shortcomings and efforts? He had only been in Konoha for a few days and was already complaining that it wasn’t what he had imagined… Wouldn’t he eventually flee back to the Land of Water and have a sudden epiphany?

Action was needed.

Gojo Kaigetsu first went to Taiten Ninja Tool Shop and settled into a relatively secluded corner.

It was around three in the afternoon, and the shop was bustling with ninjas and villagers. Some were enjoying restorative tonics with friends, while others, fresh graduates from the Academy, meticulously examined the lower-tier ninja tools displayed on the shelves.

Their anxious expressions as they fretted over tools costing only a few hundred to a thousand ryō… Looking at them, Gojo Kaigetsu saw a reflection of his younger self.

He too had struggled to accumulate his initial capital, taking on low-rank missions every day, carefully selecting affordable ninja tools, and steadily climbing to the peak of success through hard work.

If one disregarded the fact that a ninja's profession mostly involved missions against other people, they were quite similar to adventurers in fantasy tales.

Both accepted missions from an adventurer's guild (or the Hokage Tower) and purchased equipment from specialty shops (or ninja tool stores)… The only difference was that adventurers had a touch of romantic fantasy… while ninjas… their stories were filled with blood and tears.

Gojo Kaigetsu, being a benevolent ninja, had quickly implemented a medical insurance system for ninjas after assuming his position as advisor. This allowed ordinary ninjas to afford treatment at Konoha Hospital without hesitation.

He had also intervened in the ninja tool market, using the village's authority to reduce the average price of common ninja tools by a fifth, making them accessible to all ordinary ninjas.

“Excuse me, customer… what can I get for you?”

Kobori Taiten busily greeted customers, and seeing no response, he looked up. His face immediately broke into a smile upon recognizing Gojo Kaigetsu.

“Advisor Gojo, what brings you here?”

Gojo Kaigetsu casually picked up a snack from the table and popped it into his mouth, speaking nonchalantly, “If I didn’t come, Taiten-san, you wouldn’t be so willing to open your mouth, would you~?”

“What are you saying? This isn't the place to talk. Please, come inside.”

Kobori Taiten cheerfully instructed his employees to take over his duties and led Gojo Kaigetsu to the shop's back room.

Once they were settled, Gojo Kaigetsu spoke slowly, “Taiten-san, what do you think of me?”

“A good man! A true blessing!” Kobori Taiten replied without hesitation. Delaying even a second would be an insult to his political instincts.

“Is that so? It seems you misunderstand me. Let me tell you a joke, about me…”

Ignoring Taiten’s hesitant look, Gojo Kaigetsu continued, “I was once at a Land of Hot Water outpost and encountered a Kumogakure elder. Due to the nature of our missions, we didn't argue.”

“We happened to be at the same restaurant. While waiting for our food, both the Kumogakure elder and I were bored, so we decided to see whose bodyguard was more loyal.”

“The Kumogakure elder went first. He called his bodyguard in, opened the window on the 20th floor, and said, ‘Atsui, jump!’ Atsui, in tears, said, ‘Sir, how could you do this? I still have my sister, Samui!’ The Kumogakure elder was moved, apologized tearfully, and dismissed Atsui.”

“Then it was my turn. I also called out to my bodyguard, Uchiha Itachi: ‘Itachi, jump!’ Without hesitation, Itachi was about to jump. Seeing this, Atsui, overcome with emotion, grabbed Itachi and said, ‘Are you crazy? You’ll die!’ Itachi, struggling to jump, replied, ‘Let go of me, you idiot! I still have my parents and a soon-to-be-born little brother!’”

Having finished his story, Gojo Kaigetsu poured himself a cup of tonic, blew on the hot liquid, and looked at the stiff-faced Kobori Taiten. “Taiten-san, is something wrong?”

“Why… such a serious expression?”

Gojo Kaigetsu’s movements were exaggerated. He placed his fingers at the corners of his mouth, stretching them into a forced, unnatural smile.

“Didn’t you find it funny? Are you disrespecting me?”

Kobori Taiten snapped out of his daze, forcing a smile that looked worse than crying. “Ahahaha, of course not. That joke was… very funny.”

“What was funny about it?”

“…Gojo-sama, please spare me.”

“Eh, don’t be so serious.” Gojo Kaigetsu raised a hand. “Let’s play a game~ If I lose, I’ll leave immediately. If I win, you’ll be my bodyguard for a month.”

“You’re joking, Gojo-sama. I don’t have the skills to be a bodyguard…”

“Let’s guess the gender of the next person to enter through that door. If it’s a woman, I win.”

Gojo Kaigetsu raised a finger to his lips, signaling for silence. Kobori Taiten nervously turned his gaze towards the door, filled with regret.

That white-haired ninja who wore his headband askew… Kakashi, was it? Kakashi had approached him multiple times, asking him to cooperate with some false advertising. Kobori Taiten had refused without a second thought.

Even when Kakashi invoked Gojo Kaigetsu's name, Taiten hadn't budged.

Gojo Kaigetsu had a reputation for benevolence in Konoha, and Taiten had even been graciously welcomed by him upon arriving in the village. He had assumed that Kakashi was just trying to extort him, acting like a parasite within Konoha. Who would have thought… that Advisor Gojo was truly such a malicious person!

Judging by the joke he just told, it implied… that if Taiten didn’t cooperate, his family would suffer the consequences.

How ruthless!

It was as if Kobori Taiten was seeing Konoha in a new light, realizing the darkness lurking beneath its glamorous surface, embodied by Advisor Gojo.

After a long while…

“Taiten-san, are you in there?” The curtain of the back door was pulled aside. Seeing the newcomer, Kobori Taiten immediately breathed a sigh of relief. “Advisor Gojo, this is my cousin. So, I win, right?”

“Oh, it really is a man? But I don’t like men!”

Gojo Kaigetsu pulled down his blindfold, revealing his brilliant Six Eyes. Although hand seals weren't necessary, he formed a strange seal with his other hand:

“Domain Expansion! Unlimited Void!”

Invisible ripples of chakra energy spread out from Gojo Kaigetsu, engulfing the entire back room of the ninja tool shop and hitting Kobori Taiten directly.

Taiten’s world seemed to freeze, his body stiffening as his mind completely shut down.

Having activated his Domain Expansion, Gojo Kaigetsu exhaled, unusually rubbing his chest. “The chakra consumption… is truly excessive. Even when limiting the range to just this backyard, it still consumed at least one card's worth of chakra…”

Fortunately, the warmth emanating from his abdomen reminded him that his internal charger, Mahoraga, was working, replenishing his chakra immediately upon detecting significant depletion. At this recovery rate, using his Domain a few times a day shouldn’t be a problem.

“Truly fascinating.”

Gojo Kaigetsu pulled his blindfold back on and waved a hand in front of Kobori Taiten.

He hadn't intended to kill Taiten, of course. He simply wanted to test his new ability on a non-resistant subject within the safety of the village. The clueless Taiten, with his limited understanding of ninjutsu, was the perfect guinea pig.

Thirty seconds passed… one hundred seconds passed…

Finally, losing his patience, Gojo Kaigetsu tapped Taiten’s shoulder, releasing him from the illusion of Unlimited Void.

“Live… live… live…”

Kobori Taiten’s face was pale, his body swaying as his mind frantically processed the overwhelming information crammed into those one hundred seconds.

“Hey, Taiten-san, are you alright?”

“G-Gojo-sama, I was wrong! Please give me another chance!” Kobori Taiten, regaining his senses, pleaded with a tearful face.

He had been foolish, truly foolish… He should have stayed in Kumogakure. At least there, robberies only resulted in financial losses. Konoha was generally pleasant, but in critical moments, it could be deadly…

“Ahem, Taiten-san, don’t be like that. I, the advisor, am not a demon.”

Gojo Kaigetsu patted Taiten’s trembling shoulder, seeing how terrified he was. Enduring a maiden voyage into an S-Rank technique from Gojo Satoru with a mortal body was probably an experience worth cherishing, or perhaps fearing, for a lifetime.

“Look, I won’t make things difficult for you. The village will assign a few Water Style ninjas to you. Just hire them at the normal market rate. Consider it helping the village utilize its surplus workforce and relieving me of my troubles. So many Academy graduates struggle to find jobs these days!”

“You don’t actually have to wash the kunai with water. Use the C-Rank technique I developed, the High-Pressure Water Gun Jutsu, to rinse them. The effect is similar to manual polishing.”

“I-Is that so…” Kobori Taiten’s face was still tearful. Hiring ninjas would significantly increase his costs; it might be cheaper to actually wash them with water. But at this point, what did money matter? His life was on the line.

“Remember, tell everyone that you’ve upgraded from water washing to jutsu rinsing for superior quality.”

Kobori Taiten replied weakly, “Yes… Advisor-sama.”

Seeing Taiten succumb to his might, a bright smile appeared on Gojo Kaigetsu’s face. Such a trivial matter, easily resolved with his intervention. Kakashi was truly useless.

With the cooperation of the Taiten Ninja Tool Shop owner, *Iki III* could now proceed smoothly.

“Don’t be upset, Taiten-kun. I’m doing this for your own good.”

“Tell you what, I was originally planning to feature your cousin’s Ichiraku Ramen as a model example in my publicity. Since you’re being so cooperative, I’ll change my plans and promote your ninja tool shop instead.”

“Huh…? Advisor, what are you talking about?”

Like a fish, Kobori Taiten bit Gojo Kaigetsu’s hook once again.

“This advertisement is also a story, titled-”

“The Explosive Tag on the Wall”

[“Two explosive tags, one on the wall.”]

[One day, I was sitting with a friend at a renowned ninja tool shop in Konoha, enjoying some muscle-boosting tonic. A man entered and sat at the table next to us. He called over the server and said, “Two explosive tags, one on the wall.”]

[Intrigued by his unusual purchasing method, we noticed that only one explosive tag was placed on the wall, yet he paid for two. ]

[As soon as he left, the server placed another explosive tag on the wall with a note: One explosive tag. Then, two more people entered, ordering three explosive tags, two for their table and one for the wall. They took two but paid for three and left. The server, as before, placed another explosive tag on the wall with the note: One explosive tag. This seemed to be a common practice here, yet we found it novel and puzzling.]

[A few days later, we had another opportunity to visit the shop. While we were enjoying our tonic, a man entered, his attire clashing starkly with the shop’s ambiance. He looked like a poor, down-on-his-luck Genin. He sat down, looked at the wall, and said, “One explosive tag from the wall.” The server, with his usual respectful demeanor, handed him an explosive tag. ]

[The man took the explosive tag and left without paying. We watched in astonishment as the server removed a tag from the wall and discarded the note.]

[And the server, throughout his interaction with the impoverished Genin, maintained a friendly smile. The Genin, in turn, didn’t have to lower himself to beg for a free explosive tag; he simply had to check if there were any on the wall.]

[The extra explosive tag paid for is called a ‘pending explosive tag.’ You pay for it, not knowing who will eventually benefit from it. This is the loving and beautiful Konohagakure.]

[Upon hearing about this, the Hokage Advisor of Konoha, Gojo Kaigetsu, personally awarded the shop one million ryō and commented:]

[Respecting others is a quality ingrained in our blood, never forced, always from the heart. Let us celebrate the love and warmth between the people of Konoha! And let us add a degree of love and kindness to the heart of every Konoha villager.]

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