Novelist Running Through Time

Chapter 45



TL: KSD

Orphanage.

It used to be called Marlon Orphanage.

The term “orphan” came to be used as an insult, so the name was changed, but even now, the two terms are often used interchangeably and mixed together. It’s similar to the way the terms “community service center,” “residents’ center,” and “administrative welfare center” are used.

However, it wasn’t only orphans who entered the orphanage.

Children with parents could also be admitted to the orphanage.

The main reason for this is money.

Parents who absolutely cannot afford to raise their child would leave them at the orphanage and go to work.

As a result, there were quite a few residents who had parents living quite well. These kids, thanks to the allowance sent by their parents, would use smartphones when others had flip phones.

No matter how much love and solidarity the New Light Spring Orphanage had, there was an implicit line drawn between these children and the others. The feelings could be summed up as, “You’re different from us,” “I’m different from you.”

Among the children without parents, those with parents became ‘special’ kids.

In that context, to maintain peace and harmony in the orphanage, teachers paid special attention to ‘special’ kids, making sure they weren’t ostracized.

Therefore, it was necessary to carefully understand the personal details of the children, remembering which children had parents.

So, it wasn’t all that strange for a slip of the tongue like this to happen.

“In this class, you need to pay special attention to Hyung-jin, Min-ji, and In-seop. Their parents are alive. You need to ensure that there aren’t any conflicts among the children-”

“But, Teacher Kim, In-seop is a bit of a special case…….”

“Ah, right, right. I got confused for a moment-”

And I happened to overhear a conversation among the teachers around when I was in the second year of middle school.

The truth arrived too unexpectedly, suddenly, and abruptly.

EP 4-Red Hunter

The mistake of an orphanage teacher.

The curiosity of a teenager going through puberty.

The kindness of Teacher Bang Jeong-ah, who always made sure to give transportation money to a child who frequented poetry competitions. The sympathy of a community service center employee who helped a crying child.

The subway and bus lines in the metropolitan area that could take you anywhere if you had money. The indifference of a worker who informed a stranger about his colleague’s recent situation. And SNS. Etc.

For various reasons, I finally learned the secret of my birth.

There was no tragic or sorrowful family history that inevitably separated parent and child.

Two immature people got married unprepared, soon grew to hate each other, and both became young widowers and widows, unwilling to spend their lives raising a newborn.

So, during the divorce, both sides gave up their parental rights and sent the child to the orphanage.

That’s the end of it.

That was the whole story of the incident.

However, the storm that struck my heart only began then. Dark and dreadful thoughts stained my soul black.

Life suddenly became filled with pain. The pain I faced was incomparable to being teased in middle school as the kid without parents or getting hit in the back of the head a few times.

The name of this pain was ‘resentment.’

I resented why such a thing had happened to me, resented my parents for abandoning me and living as if nothing happened, resented the orphanage teachers for hiding the truth, resented the people who lived ordinary lives receiving their parents’ love, and resented the world that had created such a situation.

This pain of life made death seem more bearable. Several times a day, I thought about wanting to die. I often stopped myself from throwing my body into the roadway while walking, and whenever I saw a tall building, I would go up to the rooftop to look out over the world.

The pain in my heart was slowly killing me.

So, my fragile self created ‘antibodies’ against this logic, like white blood cells that fend off pathogens.

To survive.

To keep on surviving.

I needed logic that would bring peace back to my heart.

The conclusion was similar to the fable of ‘The Fox and the Grapes.’

The love of parents, after all, wasn’t something particularly precious to begin with.

I shed the sorrow, realizing that maternal love was not sacred amidst the pain of life.

In the end, the parent-child relationship is not a sacred bond that can never be broken but a vulgar one that can be severed at any time depending on one’s circumstances.

Monkeys that protected their offspring preserved their genes, while those that did not, their lineage ended. That’s the reality of maternal love.

There’s no need to resent the parents who abandoned me and live as if nothing happened.

They are not sacred beings but humans acting according to their convenience.

* * *

“It was a naive thought. The written in the process of completing that thought was ‘Red Hunter.’

Just like the parents were not sacred beings who loved me unconditionally but merely humans.

The independence activists revered as heroes in this country were not heroes but humans acting of their own volition…”

Speaking also consumes energy. I paused, exhausted from talking, and poured myself a glass of water.

Glug.

The filming set was so quiet that the sound of pouring water was clearly audible. I had a hunch that I had caused another issue, but what could I do? It had already happened.

I sighed once and concluded my speech.

“Well… that’s the I wrote.”

“……”

“……”

“……”

No response came.

So, I stated a more concrete conclusion.

“Anyway, that’s the reality of the ‘Red Hunter.’ Therefore, it cannot be made into a movie.”

This is not a historical .

It was a personal story.

The hate and resentment of the protagonist, who killed other independence activists just because they were socialists, were not from historical tragedies but resentments from my own heart for resenting my parents.

How could we make a movie out of this and show it to the world when even the protagonist is in such a state?

It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t bear to watch this story being altered and edited in the process of being made into a movie.

It was the deepest wound of my childhood and the very process of overcoming it. This holds significance only when it remains as a itself.

“……”

“……”

“……”

But still, no response came.

Everyone was looking at me with a dazed expression.

Even one of the older guests was dabbing their reddened eyes with a handkerchief.

The situation was the same among the staff lined up. Quite a few people were shedding tears. Even the PD was looking at me with moist eyes and a meaningful smile.

Then.

Professor Gu Hak-jun, with a sorrowful expression and tightly pursed lips, took a few tissues from the table and wiped my cheeks.

My cheeks were already damp with tears that had rolled down from my eyes.

“Huh…?”

Why… are tears…?

* * *

[Shooting paused]

– read the caption, and the screen briefly switched to individual interviews with the cast.

A famous chef, unable to hide his reddened eyes, expressed his heavy heart.

[It was disheartening. In this world created by unworthy adults, how much pain must those young children have endured.]

The physics professor also spoke with a sorrowful expression.

[What can I say? I find it hard to see this as just an individual issue of Author Moon. How many children must be bearing such wounds? It was truly regrettable.]

Then it was Director So Tae-woong’s turn.

He stared at the camera for a long while in silence.

[…I regretted it.]

After another moment of silence, as if he had organized his thoughts, he calmly expressed his reflections.

[I approached Author Moon with the desire to adapt a good work into a movie, but in the end, I ended up probing into a child’s deepest wound… As an adult, as a human being, I truly felt sorry.]

The screen captured the moment Director So Tae-woong apologized to Author Moon during the shoot.

Moon In-seop tried to laugh it off and decline, but So Tae-woong bowed deeply as he apologized.

After that, Gu Hak-jun’s interview followed.

He spoke to the camera with a troubled expression.

[My daughter is the same age as Author Moon. They’re actually school friends as well. Hearing this story really makes me uneasy…]

However, Gu Hak-jun did not stop there.

He continued with a statement of his beliefs.

[But… ‘Red Hunter’ is not a mediocre as Author Moon says.]

The scene then shifted to an interview with Director So Tae-woong.

[People tried to ignore and cover up the internal conflicts and divisions, saying we should first drive out the Japanese colonialists… Didn’t it eventually come and split this country in half, creating scars that still haven’t healed to this day? That’s exactly why I was drawn to the .]

So Tae-woong confessed.

[In fact, my father was from North Korea.]

So Tae-woong briefly let go of his remorseful demeanor and returned to his stance as a creator to speak his mind.

[Why did this happen? I pride myself on having studied this more deeply than others. That’s why I’m convinced that the ideological conflicts during the independence movement, despite their historical significance, are not well known. Yet, that’s where all the tragedy began.]

The scene returned to the shooting location.

So Tae-woong was kneeling on one knee, making eye contact with Moon In-seop, and talking about something.

What they were discussing wasn’t audible, but soon after, So Tae-woong’s interview continued.

[But Author Moon’s precisely highlighted that aspect. I started reading it on a junior’s recommendation, and it felt like it pinpointed thoughts I didn’t even know I had. Now that I understand the reason, throughout the reading, it felt more like a story about people rather than history. About people who were hurt, fought, hated, and tried to mend… It was a story about people struggling against the world, not about heroes driving out a great villain, but about people enduring a cruel reality while endlessly suffering.]

In the scene, So Tae-woong was persuading Moon In-seop. Gu Hak-jun occasionally patted Moon’s shoulder and made gestures to protect him from So Tae-woong’s obsession, but their conversation continued for a long time in the middle of the paused shooting.

Eventually, Moon In-seop shook his head and walked out of the lodging that served as the shooting location, sitting on a bench in the yard and deeply pondering for a while.

The camera captured Moon In-seop pondering alone. The boy thought deeply by himself for a long time. Then, So Tae-woong approached him and took the seat beside him.

* * *

“I said no to making it a movie.”

Director So Tae-woong awkwardly approached and quietly took a seat beside him. It was a truly obsessive persistence.

Just when I was wondering what made this person act so crazily, So Tae-woong spoke up.

“Hey.”

“…!”

It was the first time he had spoken informally to me.

So Tae-woong continued, looking at me with a stern face.

“To be honest, let me tell you. I am… quite a famous film director.”

It wouldn’t have been surprising if he followed that with a warning about how unwise it would be to cross him, but So Tae-woong didn’t seem like that kind of person, so I just stayed quiet.

“From a young age, I was lucky enough to gain fame, knew how to produce a few works that looked good to foreigners, so I had some luck with awards. Then I won a very famous award and became a celebrity. I don’t really worry about movie funding, and there’s hardly any worry about not being able to cast the actors I want.”

“…”

“So, there’s only one thing I really worry about.”

So Tae-woong confessed earnestly.

“Fun.”

He was someone half-mad with the desire to create entertaining stories.

Upon closer inspection, his gaze wasn’t really on me but on something else entirely.

The movie, ‘Red Hunter’.

It had already been completed in Director So Tae-woong’s mind, playing right before his eyes.

Thus, he promised me with a near-mad certainty.

“I can’t guarantee commercial success since the film industry is in shambles these days. But I promise you this one thing. I’ll create a truly, truly entertaining story. I’ll make it so fun that you won’t regret it. Just give me permission once.”

“What?”

“Please.”

So, right now.

He’s asking for permission to make the movie because he thinks it’ll be fun, despite my circumstances?

Really?

For real?

“…Do as you wish.”

I’ve lost.

* * *

On the day of the broadcast.

The whole country was turned upside down.

*****

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