Outgrowing Skyrim

To call the woman who stands before me a muscle mommy would be the understatement of the century. Lydia eats muscle mommies for breakfast and then complains that there's not enough protein. She has a handsome face, large cheekbones, with a beauty similar to Aela but with an earnest, innocent expression that belies her muscle mass. She could likely be in the running for heaviest woman on earth.

 

“So what does that mean in practical terms?” I ask her.

 

 "The Jarl has recognised you as a person of great importance in the hold. A hero. The title of Thane is an honor, a gift for your service. Guards will know to look the other way, if you let them know who you are.” she explains. “As my Thane, I'm sworn to your service. I'll guard you, and all you own, with my life.”

 

You know, she's not wrong. I was hoping for an answer I hadn't heard before but I'll try baby steps to tease out what I need for the housecarl with legs bigger than my body.

 

“So do I have any responsibilities or duties that come with the title or…”

 

“As Thane you're expected to keep a positive presence in the community but other than that no. In terms of rank you’d only answer to the Jarl.” she answers. “You’d need a few more direct permissions from the Jarl before taking control of any day to day responsibilities, but you are expected to take charge in an emergency.”

 

“I'm still fuzzy on the whole housecarl thing. Am I expected to pay you?” I continue.

 

“No my Thane. The hold pays me to protect one of its most valuable citizens. There are some Thanes of less fortunate holds who do sometimes pay for their own protection but it's a small thing to spare one guard for someone so important to Whiterun.” she says, praising me. 

 

“Were you a guard before this?” I press on, trying to ignore the redness in my face. 

 

“Yes my lady.” she says. “Guards are counted as soldiers in Skyrim, not also counting the Legion. Only a handful of the best are considered eligible for higher rank, housecarl being one of them. If a new Thane is chosen we get the chance to swear the oath and become housecarl.”

 

“Was there a lot of competition for me?” I ask, curious.

 

“No actually.” she responds. “No one wanted the responsibility of guarding the Dragonborn. So I got first pick!”

 

“Ah I see…. Well for now follow me I guess.”

I never really used any of the followers in the game much, not even Lydia or Serena. The latter of which was literally unkillable in the game but I still preferred to be alone. Now it feels like negligence to ignore Lydia, literally sworn to follow me. Even if I didn’t ask her too. For now I'll let her fulfill the role of guard until I get something else for her to do that's safer but seems important. 

 

We're headed to the Bannered Mare in the dark streets to see if Camilla and Lucan are still up. Opening the door rings a small bell at the top of the frame but no one is here to greet us in this late night turning to an early morning. I take a few steps inside to get a better view but only embers remain in the fire pit. A guttering candle is the only other source of light by the counter but I'm sure no one else is awake. Lydia and I both have other places we can sleep tonight so I turn around and make for the door.

 

“Shouldn't we get a room, my lady?” Lydia asks, confused at my turnabout.

 

“I don't want to wake the innkeeper. We can sleep-”

 

“Welcome. What can I do for you at this early hour?” a voice interjects.

 

Hulda, the innkeeper, had somehow snuck up on me. Wearing a rustic red nightgown with candle lamp in hand, she made nary a sound as she approached. The innkeepers of Skyrim are not to be underestimated. 

 

“My Thane would like a room please.” Lydia states before I can say anything. Hulda breaks into a wide smile at this.

 

“Certainly housecarl. I'll show you to your room Thane, right this way.”

 

We climb up some steps above the regular rooms to the lifts. This isn't the room I remember being in the game but it is the most luxurious room I've been in so far. A large circular rug with a breakfast table, dressers and even a mirror. The bed is gigantic and for the first time I can't see the raw straw bedding, if the mattress is stuffed with straw at all.

 

“Here you are. Let me know if there's anything else you need.” Hulda says beaming. “I'm very happy for you Lydia.”

 

“Thank you mum.” Lydia replies.

 

Hulda leaves and I immediately realize a problem with the room. There's only one bed. It’s huge to be sure but still. To my horror Lydia is already stripping off to her under armor. She is more thickly muscled than I could imagine while somehow retaining her feminine shape. While her curves are definitely not the largest I've seen, her butt and breasts are still plenty large, pushed out by her insane muscles. 

 

“Oh I'm sorry.” Lydia says, noticing my stares. “Here allow me to remove your armor for you.”

 

“No! I uh… was just thinking. Anyway…” 

 

“Very well then.”

 

She stomps over to the bed, her footfalls just like those of the larger Companions. When she turns around I quickly change into my tunic, desperately trying to keep the fact I don't have underwear a secret. When I'm done I realize she's in the bed waiting for me. 

 

“I'm ready whenever you are.”

 

Is this a Nord thing?

 

I climb into the massive bed that's much less spacious now with Lydia and lay down. She carefully drapes the blanket over me, like a feminine Hulk tucking in a small child and blows out the candle. Lydia moves a bit before sleeping, the bedframe creaks with every motion. Finally she stops and I can pass out.

I wake up to the smell of food. Blearily opening my eyes I see that Lydia is at the breakfast table eating some kind of bread bowl. I stir and my clothes don’t feel right. I immediately adjust my tunic to make sure I’m decent. My housecarl takes notice of my motion immediately.

 

“Good morning or rather good afternoon. I've taken the liberty of ordering some food for us. I hope you don't mind.” she says.

 

I don't mind at all and join her a moment later. The bowl is a large cheese soup and there's somehow warm coffee too. After sharing a few bites Lydia asks me if she could be excused to talk to the innkeeper for a bit and I say yes. She heads down and I take another bite of the bowl. Once I'm sure she’s gone I head to the mirror and strip.

 

Looking down at my crotch I see a full sized dick staring back at me, not the small mirco penis I had earlier. I knew I felt something different with my body when I woke up but played it cool in front of Lydia. It doesn't hurt or anything so it's not really a problem but I also don’t know what's going on with my junk. Which is a problem. 

 

In my modded game penis size could either be chosen or worked for by slaying dragons and looting a potion of increased size. There was even a store that sold only those potions. Maybe the size increase is automatically applied now. Maybe. This jump in size is still pretty dramatic, over three times the previous size. That would normally take multiple potions in the game and a dragon normally only dropped one. I need access to a library that would have notes about this sort of thing, if such work exists. There's also the fact I still haven’t had anything resembling a period yet. It's clear reproductive health must operate somewhat differently here and I need to figure it out fast.

 

I quickly put my dick away and examine the rest of my body. No longer an emaciated stick I have defined muscles now. Enough so that I could be a fitness influencer in the old world. It's not crazy or anywhere close to the mass monster Lydia but I have abs. The rest of my body is relatively unchanged. Maybe my breasts are a touch bigger but that may be due to just eating regularly now. I hear a distinctive stomping that only one person in this inn could make and I redress as Lydia returns.

 

“I’m back my Lady. Are you finished with breakfast?” she asks.

 

“Ah, no I’ll have a few more bites.” I answer. “I just haven’t seen my reflection in awhile.”

 

“Oh, okay.” she says. “It’s a bit early for it but I could have a bath drawn for you if you like.”

 

“There are baths?” I say incredulous. 

 

“Well yes, why wouldn’t there be? We Nords are not nearly as barbaric as some people think we are, my lady.” Lydia explains. “I don’t know if it’s up to High Rock standards but it should be adequate to wash the dirt away.”

 

“I’d love one… but I’ve got things to do. Maybe tonight if I can get away.” I reply sadly.

 

“Very well. May I ask what's on the agenda today?”

 

“You may.” I say inhaling deeply. “I plan on spending a week-ish in Whiterun resting, but if my merchant friends need to go earlier I’ll spend some of that time in Riverwood instead. While I’m here I plan on spending time in Jorrvaskr. I’ll need to visit Dragonsreach again before I go, and get some winter equipment for my visit to the Greybeards. Among other things.”

 

“Very well my lady.”

“I can't believe you're alive!” 

 

“Lucan!”

 

“What?” Lucan says. “Don't act all high and mighty, you thought she was dead too. They told us that most everyone that was involved died. I shoulda known it was you that got Thaned, it was a dead giveaway. Somehow you just keep beating the odds.” Lucan looks bashful for a moment, like he’s remembered himself. “Look… I'm sorry for the things I said before. I guess my merchant cynicism got the best of me. If… if you're still willing I'd like to continue our arrangement on a sixty fourth split in your favor. Uh, if you still want to, that is.”

 

I shake his hand without a second thought. “

 

I think that's a marvelous idea.” I say.

 

“That's great! Because… we were also hoping to ask you for another favor.” Camilla adds with the same bashful look, only it's much cuter on her.

 

“What's up?”

 

“We need to get back to Riverwood.” Lucan explains. “Apparently there’s a skeever infestation that reared its head not a moment after we left Riverwood. The guards are checking homes for nests. If we don't return soon they'll break down our door and probably ransack the place.”

 

“I suppose you'll be wanting an escort then?”

 

“If it's not too much trouble.” Camilla adds.

 

“I think I can manage that.” I say, thinking. “Lydia! I know you can't fit in the room but can you come here and introduce yourself?”

 

“Yes, my lady.” Lydia says, standing in the doorway simply too narrow for her bulk. “I am Lydia, housecarl to Thane Alexandria. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

 

“Lydia will escort you home. She's one of Whiterun's finest warriors.” I explain to the gobsmacked peddlers. “I still have some business left here but after that I'll be headed to Riverwood again. Lydia, do you mind guarding them until I come to pick you up?”

 

“Not at all my lady.”

 

“Excellent. I still have things I need to do in Whiterun so I’ll leave you with Lydia. You’ll probably be safer with her anyway. Also-” I say, dropping dragon parts onto an empty bed, “-I got some new inventory to sell.”

 

“That’s not-” starts Camilla.

 

“I think it is.” ends Lucan.

They left within the hour, grateful yet with a small complication. There was a strange tension between Lydia and Camilla that even I noticed before they left. I asked my housecarl if she was really okay with the escort duty and she assured me she was. It's the answer I expected but I don't think it was the whole truth. Then again I'm probably a fool for expecting something different. I wish women would just say what's on their mind. I wish I could explain half of what goes on in mine. Crazy women aside, Lucan managed to sell my dragon stuffs within the hour, which thoroughly impressed me. Said the apothecary wanted it for a love potion.

 

I'm headed up to Jorrvaskr now, which is where I'll spend most of my time. I'll probably cut my vacation time, if I can call it that, in half so I can pick up Lydia faster. I feel bad for sending her away before even spending twenty four hours with her but I need to take care of myself first. Part of that is training to not die and collecting my job money. I find Farkas to collect my pay for the tavern. 

 

“Oh I remember you. Took you long enough, I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come back.” Farkas says. “Anyway here, payment for a job well done.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You came back at a good time. Eorlund says he’s fixed the hverr and it’ll be the ladies who get first crack at it tonight.” Farkas remarks..

 

“What's a hverr?”

 

“Oh right, it's the best. A big hot bathtub built behind the Skyforge. Apparently whoever built the forge also wanted a bath, which is good for us. Someone dropped a weapon in one of the pipes while they were training and broke it, which is bad for us. But now Eorlund says it's fixed which is good because everyone likes the bath. So don’t break it again.”

 

“K”

 

“Good”

This is exciting news. There’s literally nothing better than a hot bath in the cold air, especially when you’ve gone weeks thinking that they don’t exist. I also get to practice my bathing etiquette without Lydia watching me. I’d rather make embarrassing mistakes in front of these guys than my new bright eyed housecarl. Given that it was her to suggest I take a bath in the first place I must be pretty rank so I should make an effort to get as clean as possible before I hit the road again.

 

There’s still time before sundown, the feast and the promised bath. I don’t wanna train or really talk to anyone but I do leave Jorrvaskr from the back porch, taking a longer route to let my presence be known amongst these goons. I get a few nods, to my surprise, but no one stops me to chat. I wonder if Companions are expected to just disappear for long periods of time before returning home. It makes sense seeing as how we have to walk everywhere.

 

I make the climb again to Dragonsreach. I need to disenchant the two swords I got from Bleak Falls, the elven one especially. I also need to ask someone if there's a way to preserve the ancient Nord weapons I got. I could just buy something better but I need to know if old weapons are actually viable for the future. Their wicked look is a big plus but if I can’t use them for their intended purpose…

 

“How do you do Thane?” a guardsman asks, opening the door for me.

 

“Fine, thanks.”

 

Inside the Jarls hall is also preparing for dinner. I make my way to the lab where I see Farengar working on copying the Dragonstone onto a map of Skyrim. He looks at me and smiles when he sees it's me.

 

“Hello my friend. It's good to see you. The Jarl has told me that you are to have access to anything I can reasonably provide. I am more than willing to help in that regard but I was hoping you might be willing to answer a few questions about your experiences with dragons in return.” he says.

 

This guy's a scaley I swear.

 

“Sure. I have a few questions of my own.”

 

I set to work both disenchanting and answering a billion questions. While I try to stress the practical, like the effectiveness of restoration or the dragon's tactics, he seems much more interested in the physicality and anatomy of the beasts. It frustrates him to realize that I just don’t have the knowledge to be of any more help than anyone else he’s questioned. We hit common ground when I describe the feats it could perform. The dragon surviving the tower collision particularly excited him, like a five year old playing with dinosaurs. Finally I steer the conversation to the old weapons I found.

 

“I'm not an expert but enchanting them is probably the only way to preserve them.” Farengar says, coming down from his dragon high. “As I understand it the ancient Nords had their own version of repair magic tied to their sacred sites. Simply visiting these places may also be enough to save the weapons. Or you could do both to be sure.”

 

“Would even a weak enchantment suffice?” I ask.

 

“I believe so. Although stronger enchantments tend to lead to stronger objects as a general rule.”

 

“Do you mind if I try?” 

 

“Not at all.”

 

I have a few filled petty soul gems from Bleaks I can use to apply the frost enchantment I just learned. They are super weak and Farengar says as much but as long as I keep the weapons charged they should have little chance of breaking from normal wear. After that and answering no less than three more questions about dragon legs I leave the palace.

The feast is delicious. Various bone-in meats, cheeses, and roasted veggies make my acquaintance. Of particular note is the honey lavender bread which pairs wonderfully with salted butter. The meal is pretty heavy but luckily there's a refreshing chilled water soaked in pine needles that helps cut through it.

 

Over dinner the prevailing topic is the dragon attack, mostly theorizing what they would do if they could fight one. It's pointless bravado mostly but it's fun. Half of them would die immediately if they stuck to their proposed plans. The wiser among them realize that archers like Aela would have the best chance at victory since a dragon wouldn't see flying as dishonorable.

 

After dinner it's bath time. It's just behind the great stone eagle, wedged between the forge and the walls. It looks similar to the forge itself only this time having realized its true potential as a hot water bath, swapping coals for water. I use a towel to keep my privates hidden, realizing that having a dick might disqualify me from girls night. The other women don’t bother covering anything but don’t seem to mind me doing so either. My observations, for science, seem to conclude that I am the only one here with a set of male genitalia and that my condition is either rare or simply unique to me. My next hypothesis is that it would be bad to get caught without further information.

 

With nowhere to run I hold my towel lifeline and dip into the bath. It feels almost scaldingly hot but I will myself further in, my body adjusting to the now heavenly heat juxtaposed to the Skyrim chill. The water is waist high near the wall but gets deeper towards the center. I find an unoccupied section of wall and melt while the other amazon warriors get settled. Thankfully none of them approach me which is good because my brain is melting and I don’t think I could talk if I wanted to. I do realize one person is missing. Aela.

 

“Where is she? I thought she wouldn’t miss this.” an athletic Redguard asks.

 

“She went out hunting with Skjor. They left the feast early, remember?” a pale chubby blonde replies.

 

“They really don’t make their relationship a secret do they?” replies the redguard.

 

“Who cares? At least we don’t have to look at her dick this time.” asserts a rough looking nord with silver hair.

 

Well thank the gods for that. It looks like my condition is just uncommon. I really need to find a book that covers sex ed in this world. Looking high I can see one of the moons is full or nearly full, likely explaining the need for a hunt at this odd hour. I can’t be sure though. These moons are super close compared to earths and there are two of them. Even the sun isn't actually a sun in this universe so I have almost no clue how moon phases work here. Another, nother thing to learn about.

 

“Hello, I’m Ria. I hope you don’t mind if I sit next to you?”

 

“No, it's fine.” I say immediately straightening up, my bubble invaded by my worst enemy. A friendly person.

 

“Thanks. I just wanted a little peace. Being new here isn’t easy.” Ria says. “But I’m sure you know that.”

 

Ria is the Imperial woman who achieved flight fighting the giant earlier. Only now she has less clothes. Unique red tattoo lines dashes run from the corners of her eyes and middle of her lower lip to the corners of her triangular face. Her physique is like a mini Lydia but her skin is a very nice bronze as is typical of the Imperial race. As soon as she sits down she starts to melt just like I did, her muscled body pulling her firmly into the water. I can’t even begin to relax like this so I just sit there like an awkward guard dog. 

 

I already wanna get out and leave but I still feel self conscious about my dick and leaving Ria alone so I just wait. Eventually some of the ladies start grabbing soaps and start washing, clouding the water. My knee jerk reaction is to run out of the tainted water but my main goal is to not stand out so I plant myself. The soap seems to be communal as well which is also disgusting. I push those thoughts aside and prepare my mind to use the tainted soap. As long as it's actually soap it should actually be fine, even if someone else used it before me.

 

“Hey, do you think you could wash my back?” Ria asks.

 

“Uh sure…”

 

“Thanks. Ever since I came to Jorrvaskr I’ve had a harder time reaching back there.” she says, flexing her insane back.

 

Using the sponge and a lavender soap bar I scrap and scratch down every crevasse her muscles create. While not the biggest by a long shot she’s still larger than female professional bodybuilders by a mile and now that I’m getting a closer look a fair bit chubbier too. She clearly leads a different life, having to actually fight battles, her muscles are visible underneath simply by virtue of their size alone. Being lean might mean you starve in longer campaigns. When I’m finished she insists on returning the favor, to which I reluctantly allow.

 

“I was the newest Companion until you came along. I thought I was gonna get to show you the ropes but I hardly ever see you.” Ria comments as she scrubs.

 

“Yeah, uh sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to stay very long this time either.” I answer, guilty.

 

“That's okay. I asked Kodlak about it earlier and he told me that you were probably going to be one of the restless, a burning heart that's always on the move.” she continues. “Apparently there's a whole host of Companions that I’ve never met out there somewhere. Kodlak said he used to be one of them before he got old.”

 

“Interesting. Is that a problem?” I ask.

 

“I don’t think so, but sometimes there's tension when they get back, or so I’m told. Someone you’ve never met comes back and some people get ruffled. I think it's fine. Aela always said we spend too much time in the mead hall anyways.”

 

After a while we finish the conversation and our bath and head inside for sleep. Ria seems to be perfectly happy to have found a friend to talk to, or sometimes talk at. Still like my mother used to say I could use the friends.

Today’s the day I try for two handed practice. I wanna get some fundamentals down before I swing at anything that can swing back. I also need to ask a certain archery expert for some tips on moving targets but I don't know if that'll happen given our last exchange. I’m told that Vilkas is the man to see about two handed weapons so I'll find him today at least. I do eventually spot him in the yard with Ria.

 

"Should I be holding the blade further away than I would a smaller one?" she asks, motioning with a large iron greatsword.

 

"If you keep it in close, you'll have more control, but it can be harder to balance a strike." Vilkas instructs.

 

"I guess that comes down to footwork, then." Ria replies.

 

"Exactly. When you have a big heavy weight swinging around your upper body, your lower body has to compensate or you'll fall right over."

 

Welp he’s busy. Guess I’ll read some books or watch Eorlund for a while. Maybe work up the courage to find Aela. When I try to turn away Ria spots me and calls to me.

 

“Oh hey Alex. Did you need something? I was just getting some pointers from Vilkas.” she says cheerfully. 

 

“Actually I was going to ask Vilkas for the same thing.” I say sheepish. “But I’ll come back later.”

 

“Nonsense.” interjects Vilkas. “I could train a whelp in my sleep. Grab your weapon, and swing at that dummy over there. Once I’m done with Ria I just might remember to give you some pointers.”

 

“Right.”

 

I pull out my ancient ax and head for a dummy. Giving it a few test swings I immediately notice a fatal problem. The handle is just awful. Bare metal latticed on top of old wood makes this awkward to hold and painful to swing. I'll have bloody hands before my third attack. I really wanted to employ the cool factor of the ancient weapons but if they are going to fight me this hard I might have to give up.

 

“And where do you think you're going?” Vilkas remarks.

 

“My weapons no good. I can't use it, much less practice with it.” I lament. 

 

“Let me see that.” he says, taking my ax. “Aye, these are notorious for being hard to work with. Better grab something off the rack and come back if you want any skin left.”

 

“Neat. Is there a section for training weapons or do I just grab whatever.” I ask.

 

“There are no training weapons here, whelp. You may grab whatever takes your fancy, of iron make only. And put this-'' he gestures with the ax, “-in its place. It's not a fair trade to be sure but it'll have to do.”

 

Bastard. I take my relic ax and go. Finding one of the racks inside I replace my weapon with a simple iron version, like the kind that Stormcloak had in Helgen who almost killed me. When I get out I am less than pleased at Vilkas’s instruction.

 

“Take this bucket of rotten apples and put a few on that dummy over there.” he says pointing to a icky looking dummy with a bucket for a head. “Come back to me when you can break the apples without breaking the dummy. One more thing- if you break our Garbageman then you are expected to repair him before you can use him again. He needs to be in the exact same shape after you're done. Understand?”

 

“Yes….”

 

“Good. We've got more where that came from, so don't worry about running out of targets.”

 

Garbageman looks worse up close, the two posts that comprise his body look permanently wet. A blackened burlap sack is all that remains of his torso. Really, really wishing I had gloves I set three mushy apples Garbageman, one on his head and one for each arm. 

 

Getting into the swing I don't see what the fuss is. My new ax is the definition of simple and weighs nothing compared to the old one. I slice away at fruit after fruit. The new ax is certainly easier to handle than the old one but without the pressure of battle I could do this with a weapon twice as heavy. Getting bored and at less than half my apples I decide to use the pick end of the ax and end up barely nicking Garbageman in the shoulder. The rotten cordage snaps, his arm pole falls off and shatters on the ground. 

 

“Tough luck, new blood.” Vilkas jeers, munching underneath the shade of the porch. “Make sure to refill your bucket before you start again.”

 

The training takes the whole day, most of it fixing Garbageman. Not wanting me to scum up the glorious hverr I'm directed by some less than sympathetic comrades to a large wooden tub and bucket to clean myself from the gore of Garbageman. Only after I'm clean do they let me back into Jorrvaskr. The feast is waiting and so is Ria, waiting at the end of one table with a seat for me. I've made a friend apparently.

 

“Sorry about earlier, I would have warned you if I had known what you wanted.” she says.

 

“Don't worry about it.”

 

Tonight's feast is mammoth themed, the score from last night's hunt. Bounties of meat are available in ridiculous fashion along with the usual fair. Mammoth cheese is also made available but it's so pungent that it quickly becomes a game to see who can keep it down. Ria swallows a lump easily, earning cheers and respect from the table.I nearly barf when Ria passes the bowl to me.

The next day is much the same. I split goopples apart for the whole morning but by lunch my bucket is finally empty. After that I spend some time up on the Skyforge watching Eorlund and reading. I found another book among my collection that gives me the feeling I described earlier and now I know these are the skill books from the game. Books that enhance your skills just by reading them.

 

This particular book is called Thief, the second in a trilogy if you can believe it. In this one a boy learns how to steal without getting killed. The big trick he learns to do this is how to fall without hurting yourself. Apparently if you fall feet first with your legs loose it helps. I don't know if I want to practice that anytime soon but I'll file it away.

 

At the bath I decide to stop concealing my dick. It gets looks but otherwise it's ignored. Aela is here too this time and her endowment is much more pronounced, being at least a foot long. Despite the apparent acceptance I still have to be careful, I've been getting erections more frequently lately and most everyone here is attractive, and naked. 

I survived the bath without embarrassing myself and wake to my third day in Whiterun. After munching on some bread and cheese I head to the weapon rack. Somethings been bothering me. I’m fine with taking a weapon from the armory, I’m not above it, but if I’m gonna be able to make full use of the shit I find on my adventures I need to figure out how to modify it to be usable. There's probably some really powerful weapons with even less friendly designs. It’s the whole reason why I’m struggling to pick up smithing in the first place, even in my own half assed way. I’ll take the old ax up to Eorlund and see what he thinks.

 

“What brings you to me?” Eorlund asks, heating the forge for the day.

 

“I want your opinion on this ax. I can’t really use it as is.” I say, holding out the ancient battleaxe.

 

“Hmm. Older than dirt but still usable. Impressive. I don’t see a problem with it.” he says, admiring the weapon.

 

“The handle is sharp metal and rough wood.” I say. “Even a seasoned warrior with thick calluses would have bloody hands using this thing. Isn't that an issue?”

 

“Aye, a warrior would have that problem. But you ain't just a warrior, or haven’t you been paying attention?” he says, not even waiting for my response before returning to the Skyforge.

 

He’s right of course. I could have just applied some cordage and leather to the handle from the start, I just didn’t think about it like that. I hadn’t seen myself as capable of actually modifying my own equipment yet. I also don’t think I have to worry about the axe breaking, since Eorlund would have spotted any degradation in the weapon. That should also apply to my ancient bow that went through the same process. Hopefully. Now all that's left to do is pick up a job before I leave. 

 

“Back for more? Good! You might just make it after all new blood.” Vilkas says when he spots me. 

 

“Ah, no sorry. I have to leave soon but I was wondering if there was a job I could pick up on the way out.” I say.

 

“Hmm. That depends. Where are you headed?”

 

“Riverwood first but I’ll end up in Ivarstead at the end. Going to see the Greybeards.” I reply.

 

“Really? That's surprising.” he says with some admiration. “To answer your question I think Aela still has a Riverwood job if you're interested.”

 

“Thanks…”

 

Did I need to talk to Aela anyway? Yes. Did I want to? No. After my abysmal archery against the dragon I desperately need pointers but I didn’t wanna have to explain why I can’t stand up straight when I’m next to her. I watch Ria and some others shadow spar in the yard before heading inside to find Aela. I find her reading at a table in the hallway between her and Skjors respective rooms, nibbling on cheeses. 

 

“Um… Hello.”

 

“What do you want?” she growls. 

 

“I was looking for a job.” I say trying to be calm. “And also maybe get a few pointers on marksmanship if that's okay.”

 

“A job is fine but why should I bother with anyone who can’t follow simple instructions?” she retorts.

 

I look around before saying anything. I've decided to be honest but I still don't want anyone to hear what I'm about to admit.

 

“Listen, I really was trying. I know it didn't seem like it-”

 

“Hm.”

 

“-but it's true.”

 

“If that was true then why couldn't you follow instructions earlier? I'm beginning to think this is a bad joke. A joke that's about to end with you as the punchline.” she growls.

 

“Look,” I say with an exasperated sigh. “It's your voice. I can't think when you talk.”

 

“My voice? Are you serious?” she says doubtfully. 

 

“Only when you talk real low.” I say starting to sweat. “I can't explain it but it sends tingles down my spine and makes my brain go fuzzy.”

 

She continues to look at me incredulously.

 

“You know what nevermind. I'll take whatever job you got and we can pretend this never happened.” I plead.

 

“You mean…when I… talk…like…this?” she says, deliberately using that tone on me. 

 

My eyes involuntarily flutter as my knees give out for a second.

 

“Ah… I see what you mean. I’ve never been quite so… oddly flattered.” she slips into that tone again, this time accidentally but stops once she sees me start to sway dangerously. “Ahem. I see what the problem is. While the circumstances are odd I am also partly to blame in this. Tell you what, let's go to the yard and we’ll pick up where we left off earlier.”

 

“Adsgr” I mumble out.

 

“I thought you might like that.” she says, taking me by the wrist.

 

By the time we make it to the yard I’m coherent again. Aela takes me though the basics again, this time without the sultry whispers that doomed my tutelage earlier. By the end she's throwing apples, fresh ones, into the air for me to shoot since I mentioned I was having trouble with moving targets. By the end it's the afternoon and we have a late lunch while we discuss the job I want to take.

 

“A skeever den has popped up in Riverwood. Apparently there's a whole house infested with them that the guards won’t touch. They say there's a bear in the basement commanding the skeevers.” she chuckles. “Cowards but I don’t blame them. That thing is actually probably a broodmother skeever. Normally they aren't a problem even at bigger sizes because they gorge themselves to immobility with food and brood but if the mommas been starved out by the guards then she’ll likely have slimmed down and be much more troublesome. Still you should have no problem if you keep a calm head.”

 

“All right.” I reply. Immobility you say? 

 

After lunch I head down to Arcadia's Cauldron, the potion shop I visited earlier for Farengar. I ask Arcadia if I can use her alchemy lab. I’d rather use her lab than Farengars for a variety of reasons, mostly so I can experiment in peace but also because Arcadia probably is the better alchemist. I end with some potions both from myself and buy a few higher quality ones, mainly just replenishing potions. I do have to toss more than a few useless potions and posions out though.

 

Tonight's feast is a more local fair, with my favorite honey lavender bread making a reappearance. Ria comments that if I keep eating it as much as I do I’ll get fat, which is a curious notion here in this world. I’ve seen bigger people and definitely fatter people but in a world where getting better at certain things literally puts adipose tissue on your chest or buttocks it begs the question; how does getting fat work? It sounds like it works in a very similar fashion to the old world but I’ve rarely seen anyone here with much more than a gut, definitely no one close to obese or at least obese by chub alone. Still getting a little fat before my long journey can’t hurt so I ignore her.