Philstar or Gaju’s Regression

145 Ch 48. Across the Dream

A vaguely distant spirit.

And I feel like I’m floating.

When that strange feeling wrapped around your body,

‘ ……. ’

Loan opens his eyes.

After saving Altair, after visiting Angelina, his consciousness disappeared completely.

That would have been natural, since the situation had already reached its limit.

After that, I don’t remember anything at all, and I feel like I’m drifting around like I’m drifting through an endless black sea.

No, it’s actually more like a night sky than a sea, but it’s true that it floats in the air.

‘Long time no see…. ’

But this was not the first time.

This is a scene that has been experienced by Loan many times in his previous life.

I always dreamed of this strange situation right before I died.

I didn’t know if it was a dream or not.

Kuooooooo.

When you look at the starry night sky,

‘Finally……. ’

There was always something I encountered in the moment just before I woke up.

And at that moment, Loan was a little nervous.

No matter how strong he was, no matter who he fought, no matter how confident he was.

Kuoooooooong.

If anyone saw it, it would be like that.

‘You are here…. ’

It’s a huge space that’s hard to measure.

No, should we call this a space?

Or should we say infinite void?

It was so overwhelming that it was filling the space deeper and bigger than the sea.

Not only Roman himself, but the empire he lives in, as well as the continent, is as small as dust!

Kuooooooooo!

Thanks to that, even breathing was a bummer.

‘Ah, ahhh….. ‘

No, just watching overwhelmed all senses and instinctively provoked fear.

Demon King.

It was the Demon King.

Nothing else came to mind.

That’s the only word that can define its existence.

And it was the pinnacle of all terror.

Square Square Square Square!

And it sounds like you’re eating something that constantly stimulates your ear.

And he turned his head, and felt his whole body trembling,

Shagai

In the void, the odd-looking worm humans raise their heads as if they have detected something.

The moment the human eye touches the insect that looks like it’s carrying that giant demon king.

Shagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagaga.

Along with a creepy feeling, Loan felt an infinite amount of eyes directed towards him.

At that moment, I couldn’t even think about it.

It was an overwhelming horror.

A horror so overwhelming that it won’t even cost you despair!

“Argh!”

When I thought it would be nice not to be crazy with such an overwhelming presence,

– This isn’t where you belong. Go home, Loan.

I heard the voice of him who always sent him back.

‘…… Thank you. ’

I didn’t think I’d see him again after time.

Because of this, Ian thanked him, feeling that he didn’t know how to coexist.

– You have something to keep in mind.

He has sent another message to Loan, unlike before.

“Yes?”

And when he lifted his head like a prodigy,

– There should be no more causality.

He saw a black terra all over, with only a black contour.

– We must stop Nialie.

It’s like looking in the mirror, looking in the sachaman’s eye.

– If we don’t end this now, there will be enormous pain and suffering. We must end this now.

He told Roan.

‘…… greater pain and distress. ’

At the end of the day, Loan was no longer stricken.

Now, the appearance of a new monster named Nialie is enough, but more pain and suffering are coming?

‘…. that’s not going to happen. Never.’

No, you don’t have to.

There should be no such thing.

In response to Loan, who was desperate enough,

– Every past you can’t overcome becomes your greatest enemy. Especially when dealing with Nialie, be careful with that.

He replied with a serious face.

‘…. I understand. ’

At that moment, Loan thought he might be his distant ancestor.

I had no idea who he was, but what Nialie said hit me in the head.

With him behind his back,

– They’re coming.

He turns around and stops the flying worm humans.

– Then.

And he smiled lightly,

– I hope we never see each other again.

I greeted Loan.

‘…… please. ’

When was your last greeting?

Lightning!

And a bright light wrapped around Loan.

Next, he knows it well.

When you open your eyes again, reality begins again with tremendous pain.

I’d rather die than suffer so much.

Perhaps three days have passed.

Usually when you wake up like this, you’re three days behind the scenes.

Glug.

And when the field of vision was restored again.

“…… hmm? ”

Loan felt a little strange.

I had to.

When you open your eyes, the pain you have to inflict will come and go.

“…… what is it? ”

The first place I saw it was right in front of me.

No, it wasn’t exactly the first place I saw it.

“…. Why? ”

Because that’s the Sultanate of the Rosesta Empire.

“… Emilia. ”

It was also the Crystal Palace where Emilia lives.

This is the first time Loan has had this experience, so I looked around with a pretty embarrassed face.

I thought it was an extension of my dream because I still didn’t feel pain.

“… I feel sorry for you. ”

And if you don’t notice Loan right in front of you and see the maids shaking their heads, it’s even worse.

“What do you have to be sorry for? But I was born a royal. ”

“I mean, do you think they’re all the same? There’s no one to serve, not even His Majesty’s daughter, but what’s different about the dead? So today is the birthday of another king, and you’re alone there with no one to look after you. ”

“But you don’t have enough, do you? You’re still young. You’ll enjoy it when you get older. The other lords are pretty, too. They take good care of her, and she’s almost going to marry a nobleman and eat well and live well. I wish I could be alone! ”

As if they were ghosts, in the conversation of the maids passing through Loan,

“… Emilia. ”

Loan instinctively felt it was her story.

And at the same time, I felt embarrassed.

Why?

Why are you having these dreams, as usual?

Maybe there’s a reason for this, too?

In the midst of the questioning,

“Wait a minute.”

One of the two maids stopped.

“…… who didn’t seem to be here just now? ”

And staring back at Hilgum Roan.

“Are you talking nonsense? You have ghosts? ”

But it must still be invisible to the eye.

Let’s get the servant next door.

“Is it your fault? ”

She also scratches her head awkwardly and turns around.

“Anyway, let’s go! It’s Lord Leon’s birthday! ”

“Got it!”

And the maids who turned around and went my way.

Loan, who was constantly watching the back of it,

“… Emilia. ”

After dreaming too vividly, I turned back to the Crystal Palace without even knowing it.

I already think Emilia and myself might not be connected.

“ ……. ”

But I didn’t want to let her go that easily.

If Emilia finds out why she’s different, then won’t she be able to hold her back as she was then?

“… I don’t even know what I want anymore. ”

I think Loan stepped into the Crystal Palace without even knowing it.

Shaking the grass like a breeze, into the Crystal Palace in the most cornered part of the Sultan.

“…… uhhh. ”

There he looked.

A little girl crying alone in a very large palace.

The Crystal Palace is the smallest, but it’s a really big palace for a child to live alone.

I stayed there alone, so it was hard to hold the rabbit doll and cry….

“Emilia….. ”

Obviously she must have been.

That was the smallest thing Loan had ever seen in his entire life.

But he couldn’t recognize her.

Because I know Emily.

White hair and blue eyes in tears didn’t exist anywhere in the world, not her.

“Why is there no one….. ”

She’s crying like a chicken poop, and she’s suffering.

“ ……. ”

Loan choked and felt something rise from the depths of his heart without even knowing it.

No, I felt like I was beating my head with a hammer and making a “Deng” sound.

Just as he did, she was always without a big blur.

It seemed somewhat emotional, but that did not make it easy to reveal the inside.

“I’m scared…! ”

So it’s true that I didn’t expect her to have this past.

“I’m scared! ”

However, she is crying with a tight hug to tear the doll before her eyes.

The child who was crying so hastily was sad enough to be with him, even if it wasn’t Loan Silk.

I’m only four or five now.

She was too small and too young to be alone in this big palace.

“ ……. ”

However, Loan also became a face who did not know what to say about Moore.

I was just staring at her with a frowny, choking face.

“Why isn’t anyone coming…! ”

Even if he cried out in anger, it was just an empty echo.

So it’s a little bit more vague.

“… Emilia. ”

Loan reaches out to her small back with a sad face.

Ugh.

But now he’s in the same state as a ghost.

I couldn’t feel any consolation because I couldn’t reach it.

I couldn’t do anything.

“Argh……. ”

I’m just sad to see the little back crying.

“Emilia….. ”

I never thought there would be such a past for her.

Even though she was a royal without a background, I never thought she’d grow up so carefree.

Even Kara and her form are different, and the depth of the pain she is feeling does not seem to be much different.

“…… what the hell is this. ”

Regrettably, Loan sat down beside her, constantly choking, feeling like tears would burst out.

Ugh.

I couldn’t reach it, but I wanted to comfort him somehow.

Somehow I wanted to be her strength.

“Emilia.”

That was his wish and hope, and it’s the same now.

Please don’t touch this now!

The moment Loan desperately wished for it,

“ ……. ”

Emilia, who was crying, felt something.

Ugh.

I turned my head to Loan.

The face of a child messed up with tears and nostrils, but the original beauty remained.

“Emilia….. ”

Loan looked at her, thinking that she was really lovely.

Glug.

But the more I did, the less I felt sorry for myself.

In the end, when something was flowing hot into the snow.

“… who are you? ”

Emilia looks at him and asks.

“…… why are you crying? ”

And she steals the edge of Ron’s eye with her white, little hands.

As if he knew he was there.

Glug.

A drop of tears left on Emilia’s fingertips like magic at that moment.

“… are you crying for Emilia? ”

And she asked.

Loan in front of her eyes seems to be nothing to her who is a ghost or anything but desperate love.

“…… you are not alone, Emilia. ”

And Loan hugs Emilia, barely bearing the tears that keep bursting out.

I didn’t know if I could hold her or touch her, but somehow I wanted to soothe that little heart.

Glug.

But in the end, a transparent body that does not touch and passes through her.

That was so unfortunate and unfortunate.

Naturally, when Loan’s face was distorted,

“… yes, Emilia is not alone! Because you’re here!”

Emilia comforts him again, forgetting that she was crying until just now.

“Ah……. ”

Did you say that sincerity is a way of reaching out?

Though I couldn’t reach my body, my mind seemed to have passed on to Emilia enough.

I don’t know if this is a dream or a reality, but in any form, Loan wanted Emilia to be happy.

I didn’t want you to suffer or grieve anymore.

“I’m not alone anymore! Thank God!”

Is that what this is about?

Anyway, the heart was told,

“I’m glad!”

Anyway, I was just glad Emilia was smiling.

While he was thinking about it,

“Emilia!”

I heard someone calling her.

And by the sound of it,

“Yes!”

Emilia gets up and starts running hard with her doll in her arms.

It seems like I’ve met someone more than anyone else in the world.

“Ah.”

Soon she stopped running and looked back at Loan.

“Wait a minute. I’ll be right back! ”

Then the world, above all, smiles with a pure face and shakes her hand.

Loan, who was choking and crying again…

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting. ”

I forcefully swallowed my tears and nodded.

Scared to hear his answer,

“Sister!”

Emilia turns around and runs again.

“Sister Angelina! ”

Towards Angelina who came to see her.

It was that moment.

Lightning!

It is the light that rises again.

At the same time, the pain that Loan had forgotten began to be pushed back.

This is proof of a complete restoration of consciousness.

“… I said I was waiting. ”

But even at that moment, Loan could not hide his grief.

I didn’t know if this was a dream or a real dream, but I didn’t want to leave her alone.

I really didn’t want to leave her alone.

So….

Glug.

Along with tears flowing through his eyes, Loan opens his eyes.

I didn’t think I’d be able to stop my tears because I had more pain in my heart than the pain that struck my whole body.

“Loan!”

And the voices that came out of my ear at that moment.

“… Kara. ”

How long you’ve been unconscious, intolerable thirst,

“…… Busha. ”

Loan calls out her name, which she seems to have seen for a long time.

But all that remained in her brain was Emily’s childhood.

He was smiling in pure white, as if he had not been bitten by any color.

“….. Roan, are you crying? ”

“Are you still very sick? ”

And in response to a question from Busha and Kara,

“ ……. ”

Loan swallows the drool and shakes his head.

I’ve experienced this a few times, and it was really a lot of pain.

But I had no way of grieving, no way of grieving.

Thinking about the way Emilia kept hovering like she was stuck in her brain, he said.

“I’m so thirsty right now……. ”

It’s scary to say it.

“Wait a minute!”

“Wait!”

I heard Kara and Busha running outside like they were competing.

And in the static where the two disappeared and came back…….

“ ……. ”

He closed his eyes and swallowed a dry saliva.

I tried to tremble, but it didn’t disappear like a residual.

And what comes naturally to mind is what Emilia looks like now.

Wasn’t she what she really wanted?

Loan sighs deeply in his forward chamber, feeling helpless.

“…… I miss you so much right now. ”