Primordial Sage: Plight of Immortality

  "Do you think that the right time will come ?" Asked Zephyr, now smile gone as she looked at him.
Stone shrugged once again.

Zephyr narrowed her eyes seeing this.

"You should fight for your future, Stone. Else there will be nothing left once you reach a certain point."

Stone hearing this stopped eating and looked at the girl whose temperament suddenly changed.

"They call me Zephyr because of my desire for freedom, my desire to know what is beyond this place. I don't want to look behind my back or think about useless things. I want to grasp the future itself. That is my aspiration... And so should be everyone else's." Said Zephyr.

Stone who was still trying to understand what she tried to imply with this suddenly felt as if he had a big lump in his throat. He didn't know what to say or think. But Zephyr didn't care and continued.

"That day when my leg got crushed. The day you amputated my leg. I cried. A lot. Not because of the pain, not because of the fear of losing my limb. But because I thought my aspiration, my freedom... will disappear. I wanted to leave this tribe. To travel just like my ancestors did.

For a brighter future. But that day I felt I lost this privilege. I wanted to blame you for this..." When it seemed that the entire atmosphere would turn darker, Zephyr once again smiled like a shining sun and said loudly.

"But in the end I realized something. The future is only in your hands and is to be shaped by your own hands. Just because you lost something doesn't mean that the path you desired disappeared. So, Stone... you should do so too. You don't belong here. You don't belong in the past. You belong in the future. A future decided by you." Before Stone could recover from the shock Zephyr brought him, she already stood up and left with the last few words.

"Remember this."

Stone was dumbstruck by this. He thought this would be just a normal day as any other but this was something completely out of his expectation. He wanted to dismiss her words and just mind his own business but he couldn't.

The words which were suddenly uttered stuck in his head and he couldn't help but think about them.

"Stone heart... Deciding what to do.." Stone knew what she was trying to say. He stopped thinking about the future when he lost everything.

Even after joining the tribe, the only thing he did was try to be stronger and learn. But that was just an act without a goal. Revenge? How laughable.

Will he get back everything if he kills those monster wolfs? Will he be happy once he kills those crazy bastards? Regain peace of mind?

There was no peace to speak of since the beginning. He was empty. If the wounds were fresh then his anger would mask this reality but they weren't. Years passed and he realized that revenge isn't about feeling good or regaining peace of mind.

No. Revenge was about breaking the peace of those who were the target of your revenge. With this realization, he never planned to give up on revenge. Because this wasn't about him but them.

But this revenge was just a fleeting desire of his. Nothing more than just a task to do once he has the opportunity. But can that be called some plan for the future? Of course not.

He never thought about what to do once he grew up and Kaoran and Degres won't have anything to teach him anymore. He can't just leave. Even if he can then where?

He just sat there holding the stick with meat as he watched the crackling fire in a daze. He always felt the respect for fire. It could keep you warm, cook food, give you light during the night, and help you with crafts. But it could also devour everything in its way if it is given an opportunity. It is just like a beast. If tamed it will serve you well but if it isn't...

Stone had a fear of fire. After being almost devoured he knew what it could do even to him. But still, he was attracted to it. Fire is one of the unfettered forces of nature.

How would it feel to be as unfettered as fire? He knew his opinion was skewed by his trauma but he didn't care. Stone never had a need to explain himself to others.

After thinking like this he felt his mind a little cleared and when he looked at the fire he understood its nature a little more.

"Fire of passion. Should I look for something like that? To find some meaning to my current meaningless life? Find the happiness to peel that stone heart? Well, it is indeed a few years already since I smiled let alone laughed..." Muttered to himself Stone as if he turned crazy.

Then he tried to smile. Unfortunately, his facial muscles were stiff since he didn't use them often so his smile didn't look as smile at all.

'Whatever... Smiling is not important... So what should I do? I always thought about traveling and learning as much as possible. Maybe I really should think about it. But... I can't just ditch the tribe after all that care. I was allowed to go through baptizement, got to learn tribe's skills and techniques...' Stone was torn with the situation. Zephyr's words got stuck in his head and he couldn't get rid of them.

'Just thinking about this wouldn't solve anything.' With that, he stood. He wanted to put out the fire but realized the fire already burned out.

It seemed that some time passed since Zephyr left and he was lost in his thoughts. Even the sun seemed to be on its way beyond the horizon.

So he turned around and in a hurry went to his desired destination.

And that was Kaoran's tent where he always found the answer he needed. Soon he intruded on Kaoran's tent. This time without alerting the old man Stone's mind was too thrown off to care about that.

"Hmm? What's the matter, Stone ?" Kaoran was holding the feathers Stone brought in the afternoon and was making something out of them looked at the entrance where he saw his disciple. So he put aside what he was doing and asked. He saw that Stone was acting a little odd. So he took out two hot drinks and handed one of them to Stone as he sipped on his.

"Kaoran.. Do you expect me to become the next Grand Shaman in the future ?" Stone asked with a tone that he usually didn't use when talking to Kaoran. Kaoran guessed that something must have happened but didn't expect that this would be Stone's first question. So he smiled a little and said:

"No."

"What ?"

"The answer is no. I have never thought that you should be the tribe's shaman. In truth, there was already a candidate long before you appeared." Said Kaoran with a shrug.

Stone stopped himself from saying another 'what' as he looked surprised.

"There is someone else? I didn't see anyone learning under you through those years though ?"

Kaoran smiled. "Well, she is in her late 40s. Okal already learned everything from me and just needs experience."

"Wait then why did you take me as a disciple ?"

" I didn't plan at the beginning. I wanted to teach you a little herbalism at a whim but then then thought about it and decided to take you in for several reasons. Some of them were with ulterior motives, some not. That's how it is with most things in the world."

Stone nodded. He knew this since nothing is free in this world. Even kindness has its limits.

"You see, obviously I expect you to pay off everything that tribe has given you with interest. That's the creed that I have warned you since the beginning."

Stone nodded once again.

"But we have never cared in which way you will pay it off. As long as it is beneficial to the tribe it counts. You heal the injured, farm, bring the game, and fight with other tribes. All of that counts and is not forgotten. We are not the kingdoms of the south which force their servants and even descendants to do what they want." Said Kaoran meaningfully.

"For example, their princesses have their marriage arranged by their families for the benefit. Then they use the excuse that the poor girl lived in their family with everything she needed and that there was time to pay off her debt never giving her a chance to pay it off differently."

When he talked about this he felt a little sad for those girls.

Stone felt the same way. Not having the freedom of choosing with whom you live for the rest of your life and with whom you have your children is something he can't imagine. Thankfully he isn't some noble with their quirky responsibilities.

"If there was no need to keep it secret then why so few learned under you?"

"It is obviously hard to learn it all. Not everyone is like you who learns with eager expression and never complains when learning new things.

Some learned only part of the knowledge like the one about medicine but that was their limit. And for some things you needed at least decent talent to be able to learn it."

"I don't have it though," Stone said with a blank look.

"You are a special case." Kaoran shook his head. But before Stone could ask again he continued.

"The most important reason why I decided to take you as a disciple was that despite all of the things that happened, despite your seemingly indifferent nature after we took you in, whenever we showed you something new or taught you a new thing you learned it with mirth in the eyes. With this trait of yours and your gift, I knew that teaching you has a meaning. It was not just teaching you to pass the torch to another shaman but something more meaningful. It is just feeling but I choose to believe in it and still do even after those years."

"You are always talking about my gift... Is that why you don't care that my talent is bad? That it will take 'too long' to learn all of it?" Said Stone with emotion, which was usually absent, in his voice.

How could he not know after so many years of learning the medicine? How the body works. How the aging works. He thought that there could be some difference thanks to his gift but he never delved too deeply about it. But.. Kaoran always talked about it. So he knew.

"That's right. There will be probably times when you will stop aging. I don't know for how long your gift will be able to keep it that way but I know it will be surely far longer than me who is already over 160. That is a long time and could be said to be several generations for a normal person. If you can learn the 'Nature Breath Method' during that time your life expectancy will be even longer... I have never expected you to be the shaman as I knew that this barren land where the weak reside shouldn't be your final destination."

With a firm voice, Kaoran said the hypothesis he had ever since he saw Stone's gift. Kaoran was born with a gift too. A gift that was useful since his birth and made it possible for him to become one of the best Grand Shamans in the tribe's history. But Stone's gift, albeit useful since the beginning, will show its true worth only once Stone grows older.

Stone, who heard this, didn't know how to feel. He wasn't excited at the idea of a long life but at the same time wasn't scared of it. But knowing that people he knows, no matter how small number it was, will die before him was uncomfortable.

"So you always thought I would leave ?" Stone asked in the end.

"Yes. Isn't that the reason why have you come here ?"

"Did you and Zephyr plan this ?" Asked Stone with suspicion in his eyes.

"Zephyr? I see, so that's how it was. I was wondering why you asked so suddenly. To answer you, no, I didn't know. She is too free-spirited and even I can't wrap my head around her." Kaoran chuckled thinking about that girl.

"Oh... Well, what do you think about it? I have never thought about leaving this tribe but her words made me think about it. All those lost dreams and whatnot... I need your opinion on this since I don't know what to do..." Stone sipped his drink as he was at a loss.

"Isn't that obvious? stay." Said Kaoran without a shred of hesitation.

"Ah?" That made Stone startled. Didn't he say otherwise before?

"There is no hurry to go out to see the world no? It is normal for people to grow up properly and only then live in many cultures. You are still a fledgling who didn't learn how to fly. Before mastering everything I and Degres wanted to teach you and before paying off to the tribe, you can't just leave." Kaoran waved his hand with a smile as he found Stone funny.

Stone felt weird. He didn't cry. In fact, he didn't show any emotion he had in his heart. But he was definitely touched. This place wasn't his birthplace, but no matter how short time he spent here, it was his second home.

"By the way, the ancestral spirit already acknowledged you back then and I believe you too but I have to remind you. If you really leave one day, please don't go spreading the legacy I am teaching you too much. At least not in this land so our tribe can stay in their advantageous position. After all, it was originally stolen so forbidding others to pass it down as if it was our tribe's legacy since the beginning is embarrassing. I don't mind you passing it on but in moderation, all right ?"

The atmosphere which was slowly built during the conversation was suddenly trampled upon and disappeared without a trace.

Stone: "...."