Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

Consultation 136.



Consultation 136.

“God, I feel distraught. After that video you previously suggested, I took up writing to further spread the gospel of fishtails. However, recently I’ve been wavering and I’ve just wanted to toss aside my fishtail stories. People around me in real life don't seem to care about my fishtail stories at all.”

Well, yeah, they’re stories about fishtails. What did you really expect? You thought people would go wild about some random niche story revolving around fishtails? Who even cares about stupid dopey looking fish?

“I started publishing online, but very few people showed interest in the masterpiece that I dream of publishing traditionally. I was even told by a professional editor if I ever finished writing one of my drafts online, it would likely mean that it could never be published traditionally. They said it would be because they wouldn’t be the first ones to sell the story. They said traditional publishers are stuck in the past where they think authors are still writing on typewriters, and thus find things like what I'm doing unacceptable.”

Screw them then. Who gives a shit? Tell them to just fuck off if they don’t like it. Seriously, why are you putting those losers up on a pedestal anyway?

“When I posted my story online, I still at the very least got actual feedback from some fellow fishtail enthusiasts who were interested in my writing which made me a bit happy. Seeing that, I decided to not give up, and I’ve had a recent boom in creativity.”

So people with fishtail fetishes really are a thing after all? Who knew?

“But now that reality has caught up with me. I don't see much of a way forward. I don't want to ruin things for the people who read my fishtail fantasies, but I doubt they would follow me if I moved my work elsewhere. I don't think I'd have much will to write stories outside of my fishtail fantasies that I view as utter crap without validation from others.”

What a pain in the ass. Your dumbass chose to write about fishtails which you knew from the very beginning wasn’t something popular and now you want to bitch about how it may never go big? Cry me a goddamn river. Just be glad someone is even willing to read the creepy degenerate shit that enters your head, you whiny ungrateful bitch.

“I never wanted to be a full-time professional fishtail storyteller, but I saw it as something that was going to keep me going in life to spread my gospel to others. I wanted to, in addition to a day job working with my beloved fish, work towards that amazing goal of publishing a best-selling fishtail story like no other, even if it was just one. But now... I just kind of want to give up.”

I nearly rolled my eyes. How naive could someone be? You realized something was harder than you initially thought and because it’s too hard, you want to give up? 

“Some people might say if I enjoy it, that's all that matters. But I enjoy it because I get to share my love of fishtails with people. If all I have is the dead-end promise of ‘maybe a handful of fishtail enthusiasts,’ that feels like a failure to me, even if they are passionate about my work. Keeping it private just makes me feel like some weird lunatic writing stories about fishtails and whatever fantasy nonsense pops into my head.”

Oh, so she is somewhat self-aware after all.

“I just don't know what to do. Traditional publishing is sounding more difficult than I thought it was, and I feel like publishing online will shut me out of the opportunity to traditionally publish it to reach more people who might be interested in fishtails. Self-publishing feels like it would cause a fishtail story like mine to be lost in the shuffle. What do I do, God, is everything I’m doing all just a waste of my time?”

“Just give up. You don’t have the correct mentality to make it.”

“Give up! How could you say something like that?”

“You want some sugar-coated bullshit to make you feel good? Sorry, you’ve booked a consultation with the wrong God. You think writing stories is easy? How many original stories have you actually written?”

“Original… I guess that would just be the one fishtail story I have going so far.”

“Well, this is just for one author I’m close to, but since they started a little over two years ago, they’ve accumulated about sixty plus folders of different original stories. Do you know how many of those stories ever see the light of day? And do you have any idea how many authors there are that have far more than this author?” 

“O-Over sixty stories? How is that even possible! And you’re saying there are more authors like this?”

“Of course there are, you idiot. Writing is just that difficult. As for the number of stories authors write that ever see the light of day, it’s probably less than 10% if I’m being generous. For a really picky one, it’d probably be less than 1%. So now you, who has written a single original story, you want that story to magically blow up? Don’t make me laugh. The writing process isn’t so easy. Certainly, there are cases where authors write one and done to fame, but that’s like winning the lottery. And do you know why they’re winning the lottery?”

“Why?”

“Because they happen to write something they know is popular that people want to read at the right time.”

“You, on the other hand, just want to selfishly write what you want to write and think the world is suddenly going to revolve around you? Grow up. You’re nothing more than a child begging for attention and being ignored.”

“If you want to seek widespread recognition, then just sell your soul to the devil and write what you already know is popular. If you want to spread what you truly desire when you already know it’s not popular, then you must forget about widespread acceptance by the masses. You can choose one, but you must accept that you give up the other in return. Unless you’re willing to make a compromise, then just forget about using writing to spread that fishtail fetish if yours. It’s called equivalent exchange. If you want something, you must be willing to sacrifice something of equal value to you in return.”

“For some, that trade is time; others, that trade may be their values and beliefs. What is traded will vary from person to person and is highly dependent on the niche that person is involved with.”

“Even among the few 1-10% of stories that no-name authors end up publishing, can you imagine how many of them actually find success?”

“How many?”

“Probably about 1-10% if I’m being generous, it naturally varies depending on the author’s own ability, luck, and timing. Meaning you’d have a .01% chance of finding success… IF you were writing something you know is popular that is. Heh. If you’re writing something that you already know isn’t popular, the chances of success are even lower.”

“Now, what sort of ability can you really say you have in writing those fishtail fantasies when you’ve only ever written a single story? You’ve just barely reached the starting line, and you suddenly think you can magically teleport to the finish line? Good luck writing for the acknowledgment of others with that naive sort of thinking.”

“Your first original story, more often than not, will be a big failure. That’s just how the world works. You climb a bit. Then fall. You stand back up with just a little bit more knowledge and experience than before. You adjust, then climb a bit higher using what you learned from your first setback.”

“A person who has never experienced that process is a person who has failed to experience failure. They are someone who hasn’t truly learned anything of substance. Success without failure has no meaning. The path often less traveled, is one wrought with endless unseen hardships. Those hardships are what give value to your creation.”

“If you can’t find the strength to stand back up, then simply be crushed by the weight of reality. Only fools who care little for how many failures they must endure embark on the road of creation. That being said, Gods of creation are the greatest fools of all.”

“Just to give birth to simple microbial life, how many failed worlds do you think Gods created? As for intelligent life, hah! Your little brain can’t even comprehend it. For life to continually exist required constant tweaking of an infinite number of variables. Gods have failed over and over and over again, infinitely many times over! Yet you have the nerve to think you’re special and deserve success your first time around just because you wrote one original story?”

“Go fuck yourself, and stop insulting everyone that has walked the road of creation before you. Success isn’t something that comes easily. Success is something earned, not something handed to you because you put in some half-assed amount of effort and think the little bit you tried is enough to make it in the world.”

“Haaaaaaaaah. Well… all of what I just said is probably what someone else might tell you. Personally, I don’t care. Do whatever you want. If you want to give up, go ahead. If you’re a masochist who enjoys suffering, then keep doing it. The only thing I will say about your question is, it’s not a waste of time if you enjoyed what you did.”

“When you stop enjoying something, just stop doing it for a while, take in a deep breath, and take a good break. Doing something is only a waste of time when you’re no longer enjoying it. There’s no need to force yourself to do something when you’re not enjoying it. When it reaches a point you can no longer take it, change things up and find the next thing that you do enjoy. You can always come back to something at a later date and see how you feel about it then. Just know that things are always fun in the beginning, but the further you get, the harder it becomes to continue.”

“Now scram. Go write your fishtail fetish fantasies or whatever it is you want to do.”

She stood up dissatisfied, then grumbled to herself on her way out, “What a shitty God. Who does he think he is going off on me like that? I’ll show you the true power of my fishtail fantasies. I’ll come back and rub it in your face one day. Just wait and see, I’ll turn everyone into fishtail enthusiasts like me, you asshole. Everyone will preach the gospel of fishtails and proclaim me as the fishtail messiah that enlightened them.”

Please don’t, I’d rather not see a degenerate world like that. The existence of OnlyFans is already too much as it is for me. I’d rather not see FishtailFans pop up one day. Just imaging people asking for fish pics gave me anxiety.


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