REND

Only the gentle whoosh of the wind answered.

“No need to be scared.” I held my arms wide open. “I’m not going to fight you. We have something to talk about, you know? Come out already.”

The blaring horns of a distant car filled the silence that followed. Someone was having an unpleasant encounter on the road.

I wanted the dramatic confrontation to begin already. Many lines lined up in my head, fake emotions and scenarios. I was excited to use them. The setting and the vibe were already set. But I could see Jubjub hesitant to reveal herself knowing I could kill her.

Hesitant? That was mild a mild way to put it.

She must be shitting herself in the shadows right now. Shadow-shitting. How would that work?

There was no incentive for Jubjub to trust my words. After all, I was an Adumbrae. A real one; an artificial one was bad enough. The best and safest choice for Jubjub was to continue being a shadow until I got tired of this whole gig and returned to the golf cart. Then she’d have more places to hide.

She could also just be by the cart and I was talking to… no one. But I didn’t think she was smart enough to figure out I was going to confront her out here.

Anyway, what next?

I eyed the small magnifying glass I bought. I thought I could intensify the sun’s rays and hurt Jubjub in the shadows. I’ve burned quite a few insects that way as a kid. If a strong flashlight could forcefully reveal Jubjub, then magnified sunlight might too.

A tiny flaw in my plan. The magnifying glass could only concentrate, not reflect or redirect sunlight. My plan wouldn’t work targeting a shadow because, duh, it was the shadow… in the shade. What sunlight would I be magnifying?

Another option was to remove my hat. Would that instantly reveal Jubjub?

Hang on. The shadow of the hat would remain. She’d just follow it. I could fold the hat and make its shadow small. There had to be a minimum area for a shadow that Jubjub could squeeze into. Her only remaining refuge would be my own shadow, right beneath me. Stepping on liquid Jubjub didn’t sound appealing.

Shining the flashlight on my shadow was my best bet. That was my first idea anyway.

“Don’t force me to make you reveal yourself.” I held up the flashlight. “I just want to talk. If you’re not going to answer in the count of three—oh wait, that’s too short. After I count to five and you still won’t show up, then I’ll force you to come out.”

Before I could start counting, the ground about a dozen feet away from me stirred. The dry and powdery soil rose, becoming a small hill the size of a car.

The fuck? Did Jubjub have a power like this all along?

The surface of the mound bubbled and shifted as it grew, looking like it was going to explode. If not Jubjub’s power, then was this a geyser or something? This stupid island could be a volcano for all I knew. I was confident I could survive it, whatever this was, but my outfit wouldn’t. No way I was driving back to civilization with torn clothes.

As I mulled over running away, something burst out of the enormous earthen zit—a reddish hand large enough to completely enclose my torso. Unexpected, but I was expecting the unexpected so I guess I expected this all along.

The hand slammed into the ground. Then another hand emerged from the mound, followed by an arm. The mysterious creature hidden below the earth pushed itself out of the ground.

A giant deformed monkey with a super squat body the size of my golf cart and super long arms popped out. It looked like a spider monkey with its torso squished down.

Sure, whatever. This might as well happen.

I should be surprised, but I found it easy to accept this turn of events. After experiencing so much bullshit coming out of fate’s ass that only a crazy writer could come up with, including the explosion of a Greaves Reactor rivaling that of a small nuke almost killing me, this mishappen monkey monster was… quite tame. Also, I had such a good run of luck lately that part of me expected to run into bad luck soon.

This qualified as bad luck, I think? I couldn’t see how getting accosted by a subterranean primate benefited me.

The monkey dusted itself off—very awkward with its long limbs—and squatted with its long legs folded by its side, looking like a crab would sit. There was something off with its face. Less a monkey and more like those primitive cavemen I saw in the museum in Las Vegas, somewhere in between a modern human and a primate.

And it somehow looks familiar…

“Theo,” I confidently stated, stopping the word from coming out as a question at the last second. Everything clicked. The next scene for my badass Adumbrae face was rolling, and I had a face to portray. New lines cropped up in my head. “This transformation of yours. I can’t say it’s much of an improvement from your former face.”

“I follow… you,” Theo the Trash Monkey said with much effort. I was surprised he could speak. “You know… I follow you.” He pointed to the ground. “You lead me… here.”

“I didn’t know, know, you know?” I had to go with the flow or else this scene would be ruined. “I just sensed something was off. No clue it was you. Heck, I’m surprised this form of yours could travel underground. Nothing about it in the database.”

“I… keep… secret,” Theo said. “No… need to tell… you. No tell… anyone.”

“And we don’t really care,” I said. “It’s not like we verify our customer’s powers if they’re lying or hiding stuff.” I was implying that I wasn’t a customer like him but an actual part of the organization. “You’re not going to fight actual battles anyway—that’s our job. But I always insisted that you guys should’ve been trained to fight. Just look at what happened in Eve. Mark wouldn’t listen though.”

“I can… fight.” He pointed at me with a finger. “I… fight you…”

“Fight? Do you want me to pay for tearing your precious vest? That doesn’t seem to be it. Or perhaps… did I hurt your precious ego at the restaurant because I ruined your image in front of the beautiful ladies?”

Phrasing it that way excluded me from the ‘beautiful ladies.’ I just roasted myself.

Theo the Trash Monkey laughed. His throat inflated like a bullfrog. “Wrong! I want… fight… you.”

“Fight me for what? Don’t be stupid, Theodore Hugh. Didn’t you hear what I said? I just want to talk to convince you not to do something stupid. No need to fight.” I gestured my arms outward. “Rant all you want about how rich you are and more important than me to make yourself better. Berate and belittle me to repair your precious ego. Let it all out. No one’s around to witness your childishness, so you don’t have to be embarrassed.”

His primitive face twisted into fury, just as I intended. After what I said, he could no longer back out. I never said I was good at diffusing situations. Drama was what I craved.  

Theo thumped his chest with his palms. “Fight me! I will… show! I’m… strong!”

“This isn’t about the girls thing then? You just want to show you’re stronger than me? Still a matter of ego. I’m guessing you understated the extent of your powers during the assessment at Red Island, and you’re thinking you can take me on.”

Assessment. Database. I was just guessing. It seemed logical for an organization making monsters to keep track of their clients. Theo the Trash Monkey didn’t call me out for my lies, instead thumping his chest again.

“I can! We. Fight!”

“I assure you, if you fight me, you’ll lose. The gap between us is too large. You should also know that I suck at controlling my strength and I might kill you. Do you want your papa to be sad about losing his son? Let’s just talk about something random to relax. Where’s your leather vest and pants?”

Theo growled and stood up, raising his hands, making himself bigger to look more intimidating. He was anything but. That stout body with long legs made him look like an awkward insect. “Shut up! Strong! I’m… strong!”

“You’re going to throw your life away to prove how strong you are?”

Couldn’t he see how much I cared about his life? Not. This wasn’t a strategy to make him angry to destroy his focus or some Art of War shit. There was a term for this… gas burning or something. It had been ages since I had done this to people, and I missed it. This was an opportunity I couldn’t let pass.

Yes, there was a chance Theo would die, but that was an unintended consequence. I wasn’t a bloodthirsty, psycho bitch, wanting to murder people. I just wanted to have fun on this vacation.

“And you won’t be proving much because I’m way stronger than you,” I continued as I pointed a stern finger at him. I know you’re above most of the rich idiots wanting immortality, so be satisfied with that.”

“Bluff! You’re … bluffing.” He placed his wide palms on his chest. “Important! Important… not kill. But… get hurt… if I lose. Not afraid.”

I smirked. He was right. So long as he wouldn’t die, he could regenerate. There’d be no long-term issue. However, the ‘normal’ Adumbrae client of the 2Ms should still be afraid of getting hurt. Maybe this monkey’s not a generic bad guy after all.

Technically, I was the bad guy. But Theo was a bad guy too.

He was also right that I might not kill him because he was important. Just not in the way he thought. Too much of a hassle if he went missing, especially if he was slated to go to Red Island. I didn’t want to risk changing the schedules or even canceling the trip.

But I was going to play with him a bit before turning to—I forgot about Jubjub!

My shadow! Was she still there? A few feet behind me was a cactus with colorful flowers. I accidentally went near it because of stupid Theo showing up. Beyond that was a patch of shrubs.

Jubjub could’ve already left me… if she was ever here.

Fuck!

Just me and Theo then.

“Look at me!” roared the monkey. “No… one… see us. Not afraid… to fight!” Theo misunderstood why I looked around. “I… force you. Fight!” He reached for a rock half buried in the soil. He gripped it with his long fingers, his sharp nails punching in the soil to dig it out.

He found himself a nice projectile.

Projectile? The best way to fight an Adumbrae was from afar, Myra taught me. Even though all Adumbrae had super strength, the differences could wildly vary. I recalled the 2M’s attack on my condo. There was a small Asian woman—and I forgot her name—who was insanely physically strong. Appearances were no indication of strength. I was also an example of that.

Theo the Trash Monkey didn’t want to risk fighting me up close. Not only was he unsure of my super strength level, but he also had no clue about my actual ability. By throwing stuff from afar, he could stay safe while learning about me. He could whittle me down and maybe even score a headshot.

Or was I giving this monkey too much credit? Possible that this was just the way he fought by default. His transformed body gave this theory credence.

Theo’s long, multi-jointed arms were perfect for throwing stuff—a sling and a catapult combined. He could somehow travel underground even though his form didn’t appear suited for it, another ability I should watch out for. After throwing, he could go underground to flee and keep the distance between us.

So, I’m really fighting him then? Been some time since I had a proper challenge. And this one didn’t seem to be a mindless chore of just crushing faceless grunts. Theo was a grunt, but a named side character. I wasn’t whipping out Blanchette for this one.

“Fight! FIGHT ME!” he shouted.   

I stomped forward, burying my foot in the dirt. This was another of my signature moves, like the head-twisting thing. The soil, though dry, wasn’t compacted. My foot descended about a foot into the ground. Funny.

But Theo the Trash Monkey didn’t think it was funny, mostly because he couldn’t read my mind. He viewed my action as an acceptance of his challenge, swinging his arm back.

I kicked with my buried foot as hard as I could, shoveling the ground upward. Sorry, sandals—another pair ruined.

A wall of scattered earth obscured me. As I kicked, I let myself fall back, using the momentum to fall faster.

Something punched through the floating dirt and passed over me—Theo’s projectile. I wondered how much it’d hurt if I got hit.

As I hit the ground, I rolled to the left, the dust starting to fall. I rolled forward and broke into a sprint, heading to where I last saw Theo. Out of the dust cloud. I wiped my eyes clean, in time to see Theo’s feet slither into the ground.

I stopped.

No bulging dirt or shifting rocks. No sign of where the monkey was going.

He should have a way of navigating underground and knowing what was above, for how else was he able to follow me to this place without getting noticed? He should also be moving quite fast for a large creature tunneling, at least the speed of a golf cart.

Noise behind me! I turned around.

Theo’s upper body had come out of the ground, ready with another rock. I charged at him, zigzagging erratically as I ran. I didn’t actively try to predict the rock’s trajectory. A rock zoomed past, just as I jumped left to change course. Theo grunted in annoyance before twirling down into his hole.

“Is this the way you’re going to prove you’re strong?” I shouted, my eyes darting left and right as I kept watch for his next exit. This wasn’t how I pictured our fight would turn out. “Just throwing rocks? I can also throw rocks. But I sure can’t run away as fast as you do.”

There was a whooshing sound. Instinctively, I wildly whipped my arms. I hit something. Something hit me. Whichever was which, I tumbled back.

I stretched my hand, grabbing onto anything as I rolled. My fingers tangled with a shrub. I pulled my body to it. Another rock hit where I was a moment before. I righted myself and surveyed where the rocks came from.

On top of a small hill maybe ten yards away, Theo pumped the air with his fist, hooting in celebration as his weird throat sack pulsed. Was that some kind of echolocation organ? It must be the way he could ‘see’ underground and detect where I was to know where to safely pop out.

“Strong!” he yelled. “Not stupid! I… continue… this.” He was gone again.

He wasn’t a hot-headed idiot, I’d give him that. He was fine with winning whatever it took. Trying to rile him up with ‘you’re not a man’ talk would go nowhere.

Time for some martial arts master bullshit. Zen. Be one with the world. Detect the rocks. Catch the blade with my bare hands. Perform the secret technique I’d been struggling with for years. The whole setup would be complete with a blindfold, but I wasn’t going to do that.

Half of my surroundings were higher than where I stood, mostly away from the road.

The rest were lower.

I slowly turned in place, craning my head to keep watch of my surroundings. I hoped it wasn’t obvious that I was keeping more watch on the hills.

The whistling sound of a throw!

Theo wasn’t in my view. I ducked. The rock flew overhead. Another rock followed, bouncing off the ground a few feet to my back. Theo was behind me, somewhere lower, and couldn’t hit me since I crouched because of the angle. He returned to the ground with a grumble of curses.

I evaded the next three waves of rocks.

My plan worked somewhat but I was nowhere near defeating this guy.

“You can’t keep this up forever,” I said.

“Same… to you!” he said before going down into his hole.

Fucking bastard. The initiative was on him because I couldn’t catch him. If he found a way to hit me, then he’d break the stalemate. I could just flee this place, but that was admitting defeat. I should think of a way to catch him before he broke the status quo on his terms.

Too bad I couldn’t follow him into his—

Why? What was stopping me from entering his hole?

Awkward phrasing. His tunnels? Nope.

I was going into the holes that he makes. There. That’s the plan!