Reroll

All three of us are full casters. In Gestalt, there's little reason NOT to be.

“I suppose I did spend an hour focusing on autopilot…” Jim starts.

“And I did get my concentration in…” Ed adds.

“So just like my prayer hour,” which was WEIRD, to say the least, “So let's start small….” I cast an Osiron (a 0th level Divine spell; they're at will in Pathfinder, as are the Arcane version, Cantrips), specifically Light, which makes the touched object shine like a torch… which isn't much compared to modern electric lights.  But the chair does get shiny… so I reach over and turn off the room lights to confirm… and yes, the chair is glowing like Dad's last birthday cake.

I hear “Cool” in stereo, and then the other dedicated casters get to it; Ed goes wild with Dancing Lights (it makes up to four lights of torch level that all have to stay in close proximity to each other, but can fly around at the caster's direction), while Jim uses Prestidigitation to change the color of things… which is fine, that usage lasts only an hour, so it'll be all back to normal soon enough.

You know, unlike the milk puddling endlessly from my chest.  This is completely crazy, I'm pretty sure I've expelled more volume than I have at this point. Where's it all coming from?

As Ed and Jim play with their new toys, I try Detect Magic (another zeroth level spell, it does what it says on the tin), and look, waiting the three rounds (eighteen seconds) it takes to pinpoint magic and… the milk seems mundane, but the chair, the dancing lights, and the splashes of color Jim is throwing around register as faint magic.

Thinking about it, though, more than anything else, the creepiest part of all this is that I just know how to use it all. I choose to cast, and I do. I recognize my friends despite them looking NOTHING like they used to. I know their pet's names. I can't use their real names. Someone messed with my head, big time.  Given how things line up… “Who wants to go ask Rachel what's up?”

Ed stops, “You realize she's going to be a demon, devil, efreeti, or similar being of extreme power, given that she's giving magic seemingly on a lark, without actually asking for anything in return, right?”

Jim considers, “If she's not asking for anything, she might just be Chaotic and not evil… maybe a fey, protean, or slaad?”

I shrug, “Given…” I gesture at my chest, “I'm leaning more towards Succubus myself. But in stories, people who have bad things happen to them tend to get angry and go get themselves in even more trouble. I am thinking more knock calmly, greet her warmly, and ask VERY politely if we might have some more information on exactly what transpired. I mean, can you think of a single thing she didn't check with us on first, or single direct falsehood on her part?”

Ed considers, “‘Random appearance’ because I didn't want to make a new character description every other session….”

I cringe, thinking about the ‘no brothers’ line, “We all spouted such things.  I'm hoping these… complications… are simple misunderstandings that we can easily clear up by talking to her like calm adults,” emphasis on the ‘calm’, hopefully.

Jim thinks, “Okay, you're right Amanda…. err, Kenny… let's go talk to her… we should clean up first, though….”

Jim uses Prestidigitation's cleaning clause to give us all a good scrubbing; it gets the milk smell off me (well, the spoiled milk smell, anyway, nothing seems to stop my leaky faucets), as well as the smell of mating from Ed and Jim, and off we go.

Also, I feel sorry for whoever needs to clean up that room. Seriously, a good inch or two of my milk pours out the doorway when we open it to leave. I'm going to give the cleaning crew nightmares… I'm certainly not going to do it… although Cutter appears to be giving it a go. Cats like milk, I guess….

I idly command him to heel with a gesture, and he follows. He's trained on verbal commands as well, of course, but silence is handy far more often than loudness.

We make our way to the Franklin dorm… and I'm feeling the stares, wolf whistles, and catcalls now; I have got to get a skirt or something… not that it wouldn't get soaked to useless in minutes… eugh… and get there essentially without incident. Ed starts to reach for his pack but I hold up my hand and reach for my copied key ring, and just let us all in.

At the front desk, though… “Ah, EXCUSE ME, you can't just pour milk all over for some theater stunt you bimbo!”

I close my eyes briefly, concoct a quick plan, and open them to look right into the eyes of the green eyed vslley girl with blond hair… and brown roots. Oh, those are colored contacts… aha, “This isn't a stunt. I'm just like this. I can't help it.”

And of course, she says her line perfectly, “Then get out of this dorm and don't come back, freak! I'm not cleaning up after you!”

“You are aware of the campus ‘zero tolerance on intolerance’ policy for people with disabilities, right?” Yes, they actually called the stupid policy that in the handbook. I'm pretty sure the senior staff at the college got a bit cooked when they were younger… there's no indication that they see the contradiction.

She puffs at me, “You're hardly…”

I interrupt, of course, “Look down. I don't HAVE legs. And just to prove I'm not joking…” I pull off my armor, letting her see my titanic ta-tas bouncing free, “I can prove that they just do that.” I give one of them a squeeze, soaking her… and revealing that she is NOT wearing a bra under her shirt.

I continue uninterrupted as she sputters, “I obviously have a key; nobody let me in. I have as much right to be here as you do,” Bluff rocks, by the way, “so you can either recognize that I'm just asking for a reasonable accommodation for my condition, and go sit back down, or we can call campus security and have them tell you all about what ‘discrimination’ and ‘persecution’ mean.  Your call.”  I put my armor back on.

And she sputters a bit, and rebounds a bit, “No pets allowed!”

To be fair, those are some big animals… and mine will get bigger eventually… “They're service animals. See how well behaved they are? You're yelling at me and they're not even growling.” Ed and Jim also use hand signals… we've all had to use “down” several times already.

“That's just… they don't have those little coats…”

“They're on order.  Quit persecuting me for being different.”

She pauses, starts to say something more… but she thinks better of it, and goes back to her desk.

All too easy….

As we head up in the elevator, Jim asks me a question, “How come you didn't lock up like you normally do when you see a pretty girl?”

That brings me up short. Why didn't I?

Ed shrugs, “He's got a Charisma-based build, and that kind of stuttering is generally a lack of confidence… which of course, he now has in spades.”

Yes… eighteen base, two points racial from the human floating bonus… we had a generous point buy, so I ran with it.  Great, “So more mind-editing… am I still me?”

Ed shrugs, “Are any of us? That's something I hope to get answered.”

Jim chuckles, “Is anyone? Experience changes everyone constantly; I know I changed a BIT more than usual last night, but I also changed when my grandfather died, when I hit puberty and started liking girls, when I graduated high school… life IS change, isn't it?”

Ed seems annoyed, “This isn't the same and you know it.”

Okay… normally, Ed angry would be a sight to behold - he's a quarterback for crying out loud - but I've got a good foot of height on HER now, so he just looks silly.  Mind you, Jim looks sillier, as Ed has a full foot of height on him in turn….

The elevator door opening interrupts my musings.  The pets lap up some of the milk… but it's definitely best to avoid staying in one place for too long; I'll probably need to sleep in a bathtub or something… ugh. Hopefully we can get this cleared up easily.

We walk through the hallway… oh, linoleum here, that will make it easier on whoever cleans up… unlike that woman at the front desk, who's already soaked and going to be stinky soon… heh… we get to the correct room easily; it’s closed, like all of the dorm rooms are when people aren't in them right then (there's always a mild theft problem).

So we all take a breath, brace ourselves, and knock….