Reroll

The blast is still echoing as I get up off the ground next to my old corpse, grabbing the ‘real’ gear I had on me. And… ugh, milk trails again. But! I'm fine, if a bit exposed.  Self-examination can wait… I glance around, the darkness within sixty feet as bright as day to me, although in monochrome anywhere there isn't actual illumination.

But what do I want to do… I look around.

Ah, there. A white cargo van should NOT have six antennas on top.  That'll be a mobile command center.

I point and shout in Shae (It's a language that's referenced in a single monster entry for a creature with the same name… and a very rare creature at that: We always dump a rank in Linguistics for an uncommon choice, as it's almost as good as telepathy for communicating in combat, and much cheaper), “Field HQ.”

We head straight there, my cat Slicer following me and carrying my gear as Betty and Ed also give chase, calling out to their mutts, who were apparently waiting just outside the building. We converge on the white van, getting it nice and surrounded… and that's about when the guy in the van realizes he's facing a big charlie foxtrot, based on the engine starting up, the frantic look on his face, and how hard he's gunning the engine as it starts to peel out and turn for the gate.

Slicer wrecks his front right tire on my command during the turn, and the van rolls, settling upside down with a loud crunch as the walls buckle and the glass breaks into white stars as the van compresses slightly under its own weight.

We surround him, and Ed has Spike tear through the doors (they’re just fiberglass), exposing a mousy looking man in urban camo unconscious… looks like he was in too much of a hurry to buckle in. Perfect!

I drag him out and tie him to Slicer while Ed and Betty do a quick glance through the van for anything of use… they snatch a few things, I shout “Gym” in Shae, and we skedaddle.  

It doesn't take us long to get to the gym… and oh, man does being undead have advantages: I just ran full out all the way across campus and I'm not even slightly winded.

Left a trail, though. Ugh, that contract.

Oh. I just streaked across campus, didn't I?  Too much going on, and I'm not feeling the cold.  Still…

I unlock the gym, we pile inside, and I lock the door behind us.

About this time our prisoner starts to stir.

“Ugh… what?  Where… ooh… you're…” he trails off.

I roll my eyes, “naked, yes. That's your people's fault.” I start dressing from the gear in Slicer's pack saddle… including another pair of Sleeves of Many Garments, “So let's get down to business, shall we?”

Ed shrugs, and says, “I got this…” and casts Charm Person on the prisoner.

I watch it take hold, and let Ed lead.

“Sorry about tying you like that, but we had to get you out of that wreck fast.  Here…” Ed unties the mind-controlled man and helps him to his feet, “so… remind me of your name, FRIEND?”

“Charlie, and… why can't I remember yours?” He seems puzzled.

“Your van rolled; you took a nasty bump; it’s expected you'd be disoriented,” Ed explains, “I'm Catherine,” I notice Ed cringing briefly, “what were you doing out there anyway?”

“Well… that's classified…” Charlie starts.

“Oh, but we're such GOOD FRIENDS,” Ed counters, “surely it's not a problem to tell ME.”

“Well… okay…” he frowns, but obeys, “There's been a massive amount of aberrant activity that showed up here over the last twelve hours, like someone flipped a switch and opened the flood gates.  Orders were to catch a few, interrogate them, see what's up, and put a stop to it.”

They opened with a grenade.

Ed has about the same reaction, “Capture?”

“Yes,” Charlie continues, “That's why they were loaded down with flash-bangs, beanbag rounds in shotguns, tasers, and tranq guns. I mean, everyone still had their Mr. Smiths in case things went sideways, but when there's a nest like cropped up here the first thing we want is information.”

I can relate.

Ed's not done, though, “Mr. Smiths?”

Charlie seems puzzled, “Yeah. Smith and Wesson model 629's, modded for a twleve inch barrel. They take a .44 magnum round and will put a hole in most things. They have some serious kick to them, but of course they're issued to the Guardians, who can handle them just fine.”

“The Guardians?” Ed probes.

“Yeah. The muscleheads that do the front-line work,” the mind-whammied man answers, “Crews of four, with a controller like me.”

Ed nods as I just watch him go, “and what was going to happen with the prisoners?”

Our captive shrugs, “Oh, the usual: A full evaluation on one, and if we have more than that and they're not too dangerous, we plant exploding trackers in ‘em, explain to them very plainly that they are NOT the top of the food chain, instruct them to play nice with the normies, keep an eye on them, and call them in if we have a use for their specific talents.”

Betty doesn't quite get it, and also apparently forgets how Charm spells work, “Why not the first captive?”

Charlie frowns, “Why am I talking to YOU?” Yeah. He's only ‘best buds’ with the caster - Ed.

Ed interrupts, “Oh, ignore her. I am curious myself, though.”

Charlie shrugs, “The dissection at the end of the evaluation is pretty universally lethal, assuming the aberration survived the gauntlet meant to force them to use their talents to the fullest.”

Ed takes a slow breath, “and what kinds of things make an aberration too dangerous to be a free-roaming slave?”  The questioning is getting to him.

Charlie laughs, “Oh, come on, it's not like aberrations are PEOPLE. Sure, they talk and stuff, but, well… have you ever seen what goes on in a vampire nest, say?” he shudders, “Better if they all just up and die, if you ask me. But the brass know better,” he rolls his eyes, “the stuff that usually make them want to kill them all are mindbenders, sneakers, snatchers, replicants, and breeders.”

“Please elaborate, FRIEND,” Ed calmly asks through gritted teeth.

I'm cringing as Charlie follows orders, “Oh, well, should be obvious, but… most of those are a serious threat to national security: I mean, what happens if a mindbender controls the president to start world war three? Or a snatcher literally crawls into his head to pilot his corpse for the same? Or a replicant makes itself to look just like him and tricks the Secret Service?  That's the big three.  Sneakers are harder to catch and only slightly less of a threat; something that you can't see can walk right through most security… such a pity we didn't catch that THING before it got JFK. I feel sorry for the fall guy, but… national security.” He sighs, “And then there's breeders. Vamps and wolves fall into this category, but so do goblins; if an aberration can make more if it's kind quickly, it has to go before we're facing an army.”

Ed is nicely demonstrating the first category as we speak, Betty was planning on using Invisibility  - a spell that would have her labeled as a sneaker - to get into the admin building before the potty plan, and the build I have is a replicant. Cooperation is off the table, clearly.

I also have a pretty good idea how Betty and Ed would handle this in game, and I can't say I disagree, so I address them in Shae, “I'm playing a goodie two shoes build,” they know what that means: Class behavior restrictions, “so I'm going to go get a first look at my new body.  See you soon.”

Ed answers in the same language, “Understood,” as Betty nods grimly.

I take Slicer with me to the locker room… pause, and use the WOMEN'S locker room. It probably doesn't matter: The place is locked up, so there shouldn't be anyone here, but… may as well be careful.

I take a look in the mirror and… eugh. Undead appearance… yuck. Fox head, clouded hazel eyes, missing patches of fur… yuck. Setting that aside… what skin is showing is a very dark brown, my chest is huge… but not so huge that it couldn't be natural. I take off my shirt for a better look, and feel a warmth building in my middle as I take a look at my taps; a bit larger than normal, but they go well with the fleshy globes behind them. The lack of veins on them is odd… but no pulse, so it makes sense. My hair is quite striking: Metallic blue, and going down to about my upper back. My waist is inhumanly small, then balloons out to some ridiculous hips… I'll need to go through smaller doors sideways… and my rear is quite cushioned. I also look quite fit… sculpted, even… and I'm constantly leaking milk.

Well, I thought that might happen, so I packed the Fastidiousness spell this time: First level, 24 hour duration, keeps me and my gear clean and dry… so the milk just kind of drips off and pools on the floor. I'm still leaving trails, but I'm okay.

Of course, the real gem of this build is the Realistic Likeness feat: It lets me change shape into anyone I've met.  Time to try it….