Reroll

I decide to stay in sparrow form. It's FUN, it's quite defensive, and I can speak when I want via illusions reasonably easily.  So I hover and fly slowly, using an illusion to idly chat with my friends and cover my form as they walk. Someone listening closely could probably hear my wings… but I'm traveling slowly enough to make Stealth skill checks, and this form gets a lot of bonuses to that skill from size and Dexterity, so… I'm pretty sure I'm fine.

Betty frowns as I head to the bookstore first, “I thought we were heading to the computer lab?”

I have my illusion shrug, “We are, but I need a small USB stick first. Sixteen gigs will do fine, they're cheap.”

We check the looted wallets… each one had a nicely organized set of money: Ten each of  hundred dollar bills, fifty dollar bills, twenty dollar bills, ten dollar bills, five dollar bills, and one dollar bills: $1,860… in each wallet.  A bit over three and a half grand total.  Score! Suspiciously standard issue, including the identical credit cards and a lack of id.

Still… the money is what we need for now.  We buy one USB stick and a prepaid phone for each of us.

Then we head to the computer lab, where I resume human form.

Thirty computers, and nobody using one of them. Everyone has laptops and tablets hooked up to the campus wifi, so folks really only come here when they need to print things.

Which is great for us.

I downland Kali Linux (it’s a "penetration testing tool” distribution of Linux… which means “fully functional suite of hacking tools intended for legitimate use”) install it on the USB, and then reboot into the USB.

I then use the Computers skill, using Kali to cover the necessary tools.

We use the phones to take pictures of us… I fill in the background, clean the metadata… setup a few proxies to prevent tracing… upload them… a little hacking… add the appropriate records (retroactively signed off by a now-ex employee so she can't easily be questioned), send it to the DMV print shop… add some supporting records the same way… may as well hit school records while I'm in here… order those shipped as well…. It takes less than an hour to get it all done, because Starfinder's Computers skill lets me cheat. Non-magical magic: The skill says I can do a thing, so the thing happens when I try, even though it makes zero logical sense.

“We'll need to cut the credit cards. They're worse than useless,” I inform folks after faking a transaction against them, “Cashier gets a nice little 'please delay’ message while the police - which I imagine the Guardians are tapping - get an alert with the transaction address.”

“And you know this how?” Betty seems concerned.

“Because the police are on their way to a gas station at exit 97 for a fictitious purchase of a case of beer, ten packages of beef jerky, six bags of chips, and eight point seven six gallons of gas,” I inform her, “The online purchase was particularly interesting; the merchant got a successful result initially, but it was flagged for a shipping address issue… I expect the Alpha Sigma Sigma frat will have a surprise visit soon for their order of twelve kegs of Vodka… I used the other card, but they're set up the same way.”

“Wait… you set up a police raid on them?” Ed raises an eyebrow, “Isn't that a little…”

“Totally justified,” Betty interrupts, “They don't spike the punch with mere alcohol. Nobody's ever managed to prove anything, and they have a lot of lawyers among the alumni, so they're… more expensive to prosecute than anyone's been willing to pay… a raid might do the campus good.”

“Yeah,” I agree, “I can personally confirm it's not just rumors.  My testimony got thrown out in court, and there was a mistrial over some evidence handling,” the whole thing left a really bitter taste in my mouth.

Ed pauses, “Okay then. No using the cards.  They're little bombs we can drop on enemies, though?”

I shake my head, “Not really. After using them this way they'll get wise to the fact that we know and simply block them." I pause, "In happier news, we should be getting our IDs delivered in a few days, we just need to be there to accept,” also, Betty, I'm totally getting you back for naming me Chocolate D. Light, Ms. Hotte Chocolate Milkers.  I'm going to be Kenna Smith, and Ed gets to be Edith Thatcher: Perfectly normal names.

“So what next?” Betty inquires.

“How about we check the eagle?” Ed suggests, "something isn't right there."

“We'll also need to do something about power and water,” I add, “even if that's just getting jobs and paying for it.”

“Why not just…” I know what you're going to say, Betty.

“It's one thing to go extra-legal when it's the only choice for survival,” I stare at Betty, “quite another when it's just to enable laziness.”

Ed chuckles, “We have some money, we have a place to stay, we have sustenance… so you're saying anything beyond that we have to work to get?”

I shrug, “From a philosophical perspective, in order for anyone to have dinner, someone has to prepare it, and nothing anyone does with law or finances will change that basic truth.  As much as is possible, people should be doing useful work… and that includes us, as much as I might like to just kick back and relax and just hack my way into a comfortable retirement.  Society can and should support some folks not working…”

“Can't that be us?” Betty asks ‘innocently’.

“Heh, no…” I shake my head, “because the ‘not working’ folks should be training to work, in reserve for when another job needs to be filled, or legitimately unable to work… and with modern tech, that last pretty much requires significant nervous system issues; a paralytic can answer phones with voice assist, someone stuck with the mental capacity of a ten year old can round up shopping carts and help carry bags, and so on.  There's very few people who actually can't work.”

“Hey now, there's lots of people who aren't given jobs…” Legitimate complaint, Ed.

But I have that covered, “Keep in mind, ‘doing useful work’ isn't actually tied to a specific economic system: This applies just as much to a theoretical money-free socialist setup as it does to a strictly capitalist setup: However you get people working, there will be more food to go around if more people are making food, there will be more toys to play with if more people are making toys, there will be more houses to live in if more people are building houses, and so on."

I continue, "...and it also doesn't mean ‘has a traditional job’: Someone who stays at home to clean house, cook dinner, and raise the kids is ‘doing useful work’ - getting the next generation ready and supporting the people doing other types of work - as is the person who scrounges through garage sales for stuff to resell online - connecting people with the stuff they want."

Ok ay, so I'm a little long-winded, "and as I said: There should be some excess capacity for when there's a need: If everyone is busy, then the only way to get more workers is to poach them from other positions, which causes wages to spiral out of control… but for that to work, those not doing useful work need to be looking for useful work to do.  Well, unless they’ve worked long enough to retire; people need a goal to work towards.”

“But I don't want to work if I don't have to…” Betty whines.

Ed sighs, “but if society allows people in general to not do things, then there's not enough stuff people want to go around. I get it… I don't care for it being enforced, but I get it.”

I chuckle, “Besides, from a practical perspective, the more oddities I introduce in our favor, the more things there are that can be caught by an audit and point us out. It's best if we can get as much as possible ‘normally’.  We can't get ID’s without faking SOMETHING, and we need those to do anything; it's also a database too big to audit effectively, with little pressure for anyone to do so. Get into finances, though, and that changes rather drastically. If I fake us up a bunch of limitless credit cards, we WILL get caught, sooner rather than later.”

“Fine,” Betty pouts.  I think I I'll need to watch her… but she won't be doing this kind of thing herself this roll.

“Great!” I'm glad that conversation Is over, “I also enrolled us as unpaid interns, reporting to a dean currently on sabbatical doing a dig in Europe; our school IDs should arrive in a few days as well.”

“Why unpaid?” Ed seems genuinely curious.

I shrug, “Again: Audits. People pay more attention when money is involved.” I reboot the machine back into the normal operating system, “anyway: Job done; let's go.”

We pack up our purchases, I turn back into a bird, cover myself with an illusion, and we head back to base through the forest….