Reroll

“So obviously, my name's Joe,” the mermaid begins, “Which clearly tells you I didn't used to have these…” he lifts the two sizeable knockers on his chest, “and I'm used to having more down here…” he slaps… well, a little slot where his skin morphs to scales.

“How did you get this blessing?” Oh, Betty… that could be a little insensitive….

“BLESSING?! Seriously?” Joe's mouth is just hanging open.

I put an arm around Betty, “Look, Betty, not everyone is as happy about that particular change as you are.  I know I'm not.”

“Ah… talking to an empty suit of armor is a little…” Ed starts.

“Oh, that's fixable…” I dismiss my armor, possess Fluffy, take on my social form, and armor up again, “That better?”

Ed nods, “Much, thank you.”

“...what are you people?” Looks like that's a little much for Joe.

“Uh-uh! We did the rescuing! You first!” Betty waves a finger at Joe.

“…fair enough…” Joe pauses, “Okay, so… until about a month ago, I was just a cabbie. Went to a bar, got distracted by a beautiful woman who wanted to take me home for a nightcap.  At the time I thought I got lucky and seduced her, but…” he shakes his head, “She was the cat, I was the mouse.”

I nod, “Continue.”

“Anyways, back at her hotel room she mixed me up a White Russian, came at me in just a bathrobe, so of course I drank it down,” he pauses, “tasted pretty good… went down smooth… and then I got really tired.  She took me to her bed, got me undressed, and I passed out.”

“She slipped you a Mickey?” Ed seems suspicious of this lady.

“Yeah,” Joe confirms, “Dunno why, I was happy to spend the night with her awake.  Anyways…” he pauses, “When I woke up, I was lying in a tub, missing my legs.  I mean, I felt GREAT. Still do.  But I'm not ME, you know?”

“How'd you get caught?” It's an obvious question.

“Ah, that.  Yeah…” Joe shrugs, “I can't exactly walk.  I shouted for a bit… nobody came, so I used my arms to climb up outta the tub, and kinda waddled out the door, looking for.. I dunno. The dame what did this to me?  Help? Food?”

Joe shakes his head, “Anyways, the maid found me flopping around naked trying to get down the hall, called the cops, then these four really big beefy dudes came, picked me up, and put me in an ambulance. I thought I was going to a hospital to get checked out, but…” he shakes his head, “Well.  The rape in a small tank was NO fun.  Bizarrely, the guy doing it didn't really seem to be into it.  Like he was just… following orders, you know? He was banging a beautiful dame like… well, what I am now, minus the wings… and he was about as expressive as a carton of milk.  He wasn't happy.  He wasn't sad.  He wasn't angry.  He just WAS as he kept pressing it in and out of a hole I'm not supposed to even have while his twin held a camera.” He shudders.

Betty’s up, “Do you know why they were keeping you?”

“At first it just seemed to be the videos… they'd rape me one way or another, film it, then they'd leave me alone for a while. About a day after what I call the ‘milk palooza’ where the meatheads sucked my chest until I bled, four more big beefy dudes… how many twins does that guy have, anyways… came by, picked me up, shoved me in a truck bed, drove me to where you found me, and started feeding me, injecting me with… something… and milking me like it was liquid gold.”

Ed crinkles his forehead, and I supply, “Is that why the Guardians at the holding facility grew back from getting blown up?”

“That's what you call ‘em?  Yeah.  Some of the lab coats let it slip while they were directing the brutes through cutting me open and taking samples.  Seems not only am I really hard to kill, but my milk makes monsters like theirs that way too.” He pauses, “Kinda like that old cartoon, what was it… Mermaid's Scar?”

“I… think I've heard of it…” Betty pauses, “That's the one with the immortal child who constantly ‘kills’ his equally immortal mother, right?”

“Yeah, that,” Joe confirms, “Apparently the only way to kill someone after that is a beheading. They certainly tried everything on one of their brutes… they don't seem to care about them at all… the brutes don't seem to care about themselves at all… and that was the only thing they could find that did the job.”

That gives me pause, “How long did you say you were…”

“About a month. They milked me for about a gallon six times a day, every day.  Kept me stuffed full of food and whatever’s in those needles.”

I consider, “Probably a hormone bath intended to make you make more milk.  Which means they'll really want you back…  Oh, and that reminds me…” I let go of my animal companion, causing the armor to dissipate, and use my Mythic ring of X-Ray Vision to look through Joe… should have done that back at the… oh well, too late now.  And… yep, there's an implant. “Ah… you have a little device buried in your neck. Do you mind too terribly much if I remove it?”

“A what?” Joe seems confused.

I shrug, “It's a little big to just be a tracker, and these folks are known to plant bombs in people like us, so… mind if I pull it out?”

“You forgot?” Ed looks at me incredulously.

I shrug… although I'm currently invisible, “I'm not Intelligence based this go round, okay?”

“Yes, pull it, please…” Joe begs, “I don't wanna die….”

I calmly use my incorporeal nature to reach into him, and use a Warp talent to remove the offending hardware, using the sight lines from the screens to pop it outside the ship.  On the roof, because it has to land somewhere it's supported… but we're going like a hundred miles an hour, so the wind whips it right off.

I wonder where the probable explosive device will land? Okay, maybe I didn't think that through as well as I should have.

“Thanks…” Joe pauses, “And ah… as for how I can help… milk. You guys can be your own nigh-unkillable super soldiers, and make more from anyone who wants to join.”

I consider a bit, “What do you think the odds are that you were dosed with… well, mermaid milk… while you were a human?”

Joe shakes his head, “Nah. She had legs.  I don't.”

“Have you tried growing legs?” Betty asks, “It's a pretty common mermaid power in stories for the fishy folks to be able to do that.”

“How could I possibly…” Joe begins.

Ed interrupts, “Just think about it with the intention of making it happen.  That's how all our powers work.”

Joe considers as he hovers there, looks down, and thinks… and we watch as his tail splits into two legs, loses the scales, and forms feet from fins.  “Huh, that's handy,” he blinks a few times.

I consider a moment, “Ah… do we have any spare clothes?”

Betty considers, “No… we've been using magic to… why do you… ah, you want to cover up that beauty?”

Joe looks down, “I suppose I am naked… I think at first it didn't bother me because it wasn't really ME, you know? And then I've been in the altogether with people coming in and out whenever they feel like it and barely reacting for like a month, so… huh. I guess you really can get used to anything.”

I consider as I slip back into a physical body, “Yes, and to be honest, you're QUITE the looker… so if you don't want folks staring once you rejoin the rest of humanity… if you choose to do so… then you'll need to get used to clothes again.”

“But you only have the ones on your backs.” Joe seems confused.

Not that I can blame him, “Right. It's stupid, but we haven't gotten any REAL clothing. I make armor from shadowstuff and cover it with illusions, Ed over there uses Sleeves of Many Garments, et cetera.”

“I can make some temporary clothes,” Betty volunteers.

“She's up to something…” my Sense Motive ‘Al’ informs me.

I consider, “You want to spend your limited Shadow Points to make him something?”

“Yep,” Betty is all smiles, “That's exactly right.”

I consider… it's not like she won't get caught at whatever… “All right then.  It’ll only last… how long?”

“A little over two hours,” Betty supplies.

“...but I guess that's going to be long enough to get to the store for something real,” I finish.

“Great!” Betty smiles, concentrates, and hands Joe a surprisingly modest ensemble: sweater, sweatpants, socks, shoes, a sports bra, and granny panties.  They're even in plain gray.

Joe dresses without fuss… although I do have to help him with the bra… I have no idea how real women manage that clasp behind them, I just make clothing with magic directly on whatever body I'm wearing… and soon enough we're over our house.

We're not the first ones to arrive.