Resequencing DNA

TW: hints of depression, suicide and drug use

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It wasn’t long after the three women were discussing Robyn, that there was a knock on the front door. In an almost carbon copy of when Lucy had arrived, a voice yelled down the hallway, presumably from Emily, who soon appeared in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Hey, everyone!" Emily called out cheerily, her voice ringing through the room like music. She strolled in with an exuberance that seemed to fill every corner of the kitchen.

Joanna and Lucy rushed forward, arms outstretched, and enveloped her in a tight hug. They exchanged playful banter, teasing each other about the latest gossip and the ups and downs of their everyday lives.

Ashleigh meanwhile, remained seated as she took in the appearance of yet another new face. Emily was notably older than both Joanna and Lucy; Ashleigh guessed her to be in her mid-forties. The vibrant woman’s shoulder-length brown hair, interlaced with sun-kissed blonde highlights, framed her face beautifully and glowed in the warm kitchen light. Emily's expressive brown eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, reflecting a spirited personality that seemed to draw people in effortlessly.

The way Emily carried herself spoke volumes about her—she was vibrant, radiating an aura of vitality that could uplift those around her. Her posture was confident, and her smile was infectious, lighting up the room in a manner that made it impossible for anyone to feel downcast. Ashleigh noted that Emily was built similarly to Lucy; she had a naturally curvy figure, complemented by a large bust and a noticeable baby bump that hinted at her pregnancy. It was clear that Emily embraced her body with pride, and there was a certain gracefulness about her that made her presence even more captivating. Emily was dressed in a pale blue, flowy blouse that danced gently around her midsection, perfectly harmonizing with the soft elegance of her maternity leggings.

“I thought you were collecting Robyn?” asked Joanna, sounding an amusing mix of both confusion and excitement at the same time.

“Oh…wait…was I?” answered Emily, attempting to maintain a straight face, but the facade was short-lived. A playful grin spread across her face, betraying her amusement in mere seconds. “I’m joking, she’s outside having a cigarette,” she added, her tone shifting to one that carried a hint of disappointment. This hint of dismay was mirrored in Joanna and Lucy’s expressions as they shook their heads in sympathy at the notion that this young pregnant woman, not much older than twenty herself, was still engaging in the habit of smoking. The sentiment of concern hung heavily in the air, mingling with the laughter and joy that Emily had initially brought into the room.

“Well, Emily this is Ashleigh,” Joanna said, her voice steady but soft as she gestured towards Ashleigh, who remained seated at the table, her demeanour placid yet attentive. Ashleigh, a combination of youthful exuberance and the gravity of impending motherhood, met Joanna’s introduction with a polite smile.

“Oh, how wonderful to finally meet you, Ashleigh!” Emily exclaimed, her voice bubbling with energy and excitement. The warmth in her tone was a stark contrast to Ashleigh’s more reserved nature. Emily's enthusiasm was contagious; her eyes sparkled with genuine delight as she extended her hand, reaching out to bridge the distance between them.

Ashleigh, perceiving the sincerity in Emily’s gesture, shook her hand firmly, feeling a rush of camaraderie in that simple connection. Moments later, as Emily settled into her seat at the table, she continued, “Joanna has told us so much about you, Ashleigh,” her smile stretching wide across her face, illuminating the space around them.

“So I’ve heard,” Ashleigh responded, a playful glint in her eyes as she leaned slightly towards Emily. “All good, I hope?” she added with a teasing lilt, lightening the mood and inviting laughter.

“Of course, my sweet, she has done nothing but tell us all how wonderful you are,” Emily replied, her voice full of warmth and affirmation. Ashleigh felt a warm flush rise in her cheeks at the compliment, a gentle blush creeping across her face as her heart swelled with warmth.

It was as though the atmosphere in the room began to shift, becoming more buoyant and lively as the three older women settled into their animated conversation. Ashleigh quietly sat back and observed, feeling an unexpected wave of contentment wash over her. It was a strange feeling, one that she certainly didn’t anticipate as she awoke that very morning. In her mind, she had envisioned a close-knit group of pregnant women, one that was dubious of outsiders and who would see straight through who she had become, focusing simply on the man she once was. And yet now, it was as though she could tell instantly that these women were mothers, they gave off such a feeling of warmth, acceptance and caring. She was glad to be part of this gathering, even if she hadn’t yet fully found her footing in the flurry of excitement.

They awaited the entrance of Robyn, the fifth and final expectant mother who would be joining them today, and Ashleigh couldn’t help but feel a tingling sense of curious anticipation. The mention of Robyn had sparked whispers of intrigue; she had been described by Lucy as “wayward,” a term that piqued Ashleigh’s interest and left her wondering what that really meant. Was she truly as loud and abrasive as the tales had suggested? Would she come bursting into the room like a whirlwind, dominating the space with her vibrant energy? Or would she be more reserved, perhaps a little unsure of herself, just like Ashleigh felt?

Yet, a part of Ashleigh couldn’t shake the anticipation that bubbled within her. If Robyn was indeed as “wayward” as she had been made out to be, how would she react to having a new member join the group? Nothing like the warm, nurturing demeanour of the three older women, Ashleigh imagined. Would Robyn’s arrival create an upheaval or would it introduce a new dynamic that was equally welcoming?

Ashleigh watched as the three older ladies continued their conversation, even as Joanna got up and switched on the kettle before picking up a tray of cupcakes and placing them on the table.

“Freshly baked this morning,” said Joanna, her eyes gleaming with pride as she carefully placed the tray of cupcakes on the table. The smell of vanilla wafted through the air, enveloping the room in a comforting embrace that instantly made everyone feel at home. Joanna’s expression spoke volumes; her heart and soul had gone into these sweet creations, and she was clearly pleased with the result.

 

The cakes looked beautiful,  appearing to be baby-themed, pink and blue frosted in vibrant, swirling patterns, and Ashleigh marvelled at the effort put into them. The sight of the delicate cupcakes, adorned with tiny icing decorations resembling rattles and booties, somehow softened the anticipation lingering in the air. It was as if they were a tangible representation of the warmth and excitement surrounding the impending arrivals—the births that these mothers were all so eagerly preparing for.

As Joanna proceeded to make coffee for her guests, the sound of the front door being closed caught Ashleigh’s attention and yet it appeared as if the others failed to notice or chose simply to pay it no thought at all. Ashleigh’s curiosity was piqued; unlike the boisterous arrival of Lucy and Emily, full of spirited greetings echoing down the hallway, this new arrival was marked by only the quiet sound of approaching footsteps that hinted at anticipation, perhaps even uncertainty.

Finally, the kitchen door began to open, and Ashleigh felt as though time itself had slowed down, each second stretching out in delicious suspense. In walked a woman who was rather petite in stature, her presence both striking and magnetic. Despite her small frame, the roundness of her baby bump seemed to dominate her figure, drawing Ashleigh’s gaze as it contrasted dramatically with her slender limbs. She had been told by Joanna and Lucy that Robyn was twenty years old, yet given her appearance, Ashleigh would have estimated that she was around eighteen at the most.

The woman was dressed casually in an oversized band t-shirt, the fabric soft and well-worn, emblazoned with the faded logo. Her black ripped jeans were low-slung, hanging comfortably beneath her bump, suggesting a carefree style that somehow exuded effortless cool.

Her bright red hair was tied back in a rather short ponytail, the vibrant colour framing her face and adding to her edgy appearance. Ashleigh couldn’t help but notice the piercings that adorned her features—one in her eyebrow and another in her nose—each adding a layer of personality and rebellious flair. The woman’s forearms were decorated with art; a sprawling tattoo of a rose wound its way from her wrist, climbing halfway up her forearm, its intricate details a testament to both her individuality and the stories woven into her skin.

As she crossed the threshold into the kitchen, a rather strong smell of cigarette smoke wafted in with her, a scent that clung to her like a second skin. It mingled oddly with the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee and baked goods that filled the air.

Joanna turned to look at the young woman as she entered,

“Hey Robyn,” she said with a warm smile.

The young woman returned a small smile in acknowledgement, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of shyness and confidence, her presence filling the kitchen with vibrant energy as she then turned towards the table, her eyes seeming to hone in on the new face of Ashleigh.

“Robyn, this is Ashleigh,” said Lucy warmly as she gestured to the seat beside Ashleigh.

“Hi…Robyn, nice to meet you,” Ashleigh said, her voice warm though tinged with a hint of nervousness. She extended a hand, a friendly smile curving her lips, eager to make a good impression.

“What's up,” replied Robyn her voice was far different to the others, sounding rather low and husky as opposed to uplifting and melodic like the others. Her tone was rather casual as she settled down in the seat beside Ashleigh, instantly reaching in to grab a cake from the centre of the table.

“So Robyn, how have things been?” asked Joanna as she placed steaming cups of coffee in front of each of the ladies. 

“Ya know, same shit different day I guess,” replied Robyn, “Had another visit from that stupid bitch yesterday,” she added rather casually.

“And who would that be?” Lucy enquired with a raised eyebrow, clearly intrigued.

“That fucking landlady, that’s who,” Robyn said, her bite of cake punctuating her annoyance. “You’d think she would have better things to do than check up on me every other week.”

Ashleigh glanced over, curiosity piqued. “What does she do? I mean, is she hard on you?”

“Something about complaints about my music, how I fell short on my rent again and how she’s increasing the rent due to costs or some shit, I don’t know,” answered Robyn, her voice a mix of irritation and resignation as she shrugged her shoulders, dismissing the landlady’s incessant criticisms.

“Wow, that sounds really frustrating,” Ashleigh said, furrowing her brow in sympathy. “It’s not like you’re throwing wild parties or anything, right?”

“Exactly!” Robyn exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “I mean, some wild party huh…me and this little bastard,” she added with a chuckle, gesturing to her baby bump as if it were the most entertaining party guest one could invite.

“She sounds awful,” Joanna chimed in, her tone sympathetic yet resolute. “Maybe one of us should have a word with her on your behalf,” she suggested, the thought of confronting the landlady sparking a fierce protective instinct in her, wanting to defend her friend against what felt like unjust treatment.

“Nah, I doubt it’d do any good,” exclaimed Robyn, “How I haven’t punched the bitch in the face yet is beyond me! But honestly, I don't think she'd take me seriously even if one of you did speak up. She's got this air about her like she can do whatever she wants because she owns the place. It’s infuriating!" Robyn took a deep breath, trying to rein in her temper as she took a sip of her coffee, the warmth calming her nerves just a bit.

“Well, that’s kind of because she does… and I’m sure that wouldn’t help,” said Emily as she sipped on her coffee.

“No,” Lucy added with a light laugh, “punching her would just escalate everything. Just imagine the situation—ending up with a more significant headache than you already have, only to find yourself giving birth in a jail cell after being tossed out of your home!” Her words painted a humorous yet sobering image that brought a smile to their faces, momentarily easing the tension.

Robyn let out a dramatic sigh, leaning back in her chair. “Right? That’s the only thing stopping me. Just dealing with this one is exhausting enough,” she motioned toward her belly with a wave of her hand. Then, with a playful smirk, she added, “But hey, at least I’m throwing the wildest party ever—just me and my little sidekick here!”

Her light-hearted comment drew laughter from the gathered ladies, filling the air with camaraderie and warmth. After a moment, Robyn turned her gaze toward Ashleigh, her expression shifting from frustration to curiosity.

“So, newbie, what about you? Tell us a bit about yourself,” she said, her hand reaching for another delectable cake treat as she prepared to delve into a new conversation, eager to shift away from her troubles and create an atmosphere of friendship and understanding.

Once again Ashleigh found herself under the spotlight as all eyes turned to her.

“Yes, we’d love to get to know you, Ashleigh,” Emily said encouragingly, her warm smile inviting and open as she leaned slightly forward, genuinely interested.

“Erm…what…what would you like to know…exactly?” Ashleigh asked nervously, placing a hand on her own baby bump as if to seek comfort in her unborn children.

Robyn leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “How about the basics? Where are you from, and what brought you to our little slice of chaos?”

Ashleigh hesitated, glancing around the room, feeling both nervous and oddly at home.

Ashleigh went on to explain to give a somewhat edited version of her life, how she had moved here to study before working at a bar and lived not far from where they were.

“Ooh, a barmaid? I bet you have some wild stories!” Emily prompted, leaning in with widening eyes.

“Oh, just your typical mix of drunken antics and broken hearts,” Ashleigh chuckled, finding herself relaxing a little more with each word, yet still maintaining her guard. “But the real adventure started when I attended my friend’s wedding. That’s where I met my fiancé. He’s involved in this whole buying and selling businesses thing, very corporate and suited up. So not my usual type, but, you know, we hit it off!”

Robyn raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh really? What was your first date like? Did you guys do something spontaneous to match the chaos level of your lives? I can just picture you two getting into some kind of trouble together!”

“No…no, it was all…pretty straightforward really,” replied Ashleigh, swallowing hard as she scrambled for a way to change the subject.

“Ashleigh, when we first met, you said this was your first pregnancy,” stated Joanna with a look of curiosity.

Ashleigh felt a knot in her stomach, as she knew where this was heading.

“But then I arrive at your house and meet your darling little girl. And I know she wasn’t adopted as she is almost your own twin,” Joana continued with a light-hearted chuckle, “So how did she come about if this is your first pregnancy you big fibber,” she joked.

Ashleigh felt her cheeks flush as she clutched her baby bump a little tighter, the warmth of the room suddenly feeling a tad too warm. “Well, it’s not exactly a fib…” she stammered, clambering for an explanation as her gaze darted to the supportive looks on the faces of the four women who sat around looking at her expectantly.

“Go on, we’re all friends here!” Emily encouraged, her voice soft and inviting.

Ashleigh took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. “Okay, okay. So, yes, Sofia…Sofia’s not adopted—or anything like that. She’s actually my niece…really,” she muttered, a shy smile spreading across her face.

The room went quiet for a moment as the three women looked at her, mouths slightly agape.

Joanna finally let out a laugh. “Your niece?! I’m sorry, I assumed she was your daughter.”

“Yeah, most people do and in a way…she is really” Ashleigh replied with a sheepish grin. “I’ve been raising her since my sister just… couldn’t manage. It’s been a ride, let me tell you!”

Robyn leaned back a little, her eyes thoughtful. “So you've been a mom of sorts before your own little one comes? That must be a whole other level of preparation!”

“Definitely! I’ve learned a lot from her, and I guess you could say this pregnancy feels like… a bonus?” Ashleigh said, her voice gaining confidence. “Plus, having her around keeps me on my toes. I can’t just sit around and get baby brain!” she added with a chuckle.

Emily grinned, clearly fascinated. “What’s it like to be a ‘temporary mom’ and then expecting your own? Do you feel ready or just terrified?”

Ashleigh let out a laugh, the tension in her shoulders easing. “A mix of both! Being with Sofia has taught me so much, like how to handle meltdowns and the importance of snack time. But I’m also terrified, you know? What if I mess up?” she said,  pleasantly surprised that her explanation seemed believable, more so than the truth anyway. Whilst she felt incredibly bad for lying, how could she tell a bunch of women she had just met that her daughter WAS actually her best friend who used her DNA to become her child, their minds would be blown.

“Well judging by how she was this morning, you’re doing a terrific job, my dear,” said Joanna with a warm smile.

“And to be honest with you, it’s not really temporary,” stated Ashleigh, “The way I see it, she is my daughter and she will be an amazing big sister to these two,” she added it a proud smile as she cradled her bump.

“So you really don’t see a distinction anymore? That’s beautiful, Ashleigh. You’re creating this family of your own in such a unique way,” said Emily.

“Yeah, it feels right. Even if no one really knows the whole story,” said Ashleigh, biting her lip anxiously,  “Sometimes I worry they’d think I’m… I don’t know… weird?”

“Not weird, just brave. You’re building a life full of love and honesty. That’s what matters!” Joanna asserted, shaking her head emphatically.

“And hey, the more love, the better, right? Being a mum is about connection, not just biology,” said Robyn, her voice bright and encouraging.

“Exactly! You’re setting such a beautiful example for them,” Emily affirmed, her tone earnest. “They’ll grow up understanding that family isn’t defined solely by blood; it’s about the bonds we choose to nurture and cultivate.”

“Well, thank you. That means a lot,” Ashleigh replied, her heart swelling with gratitude for the understanding and support surrounding her. “I guess in the end, it doesn’t matter how you become a mum — it’s just about being there, being present, and loving them with everything you’ve got.”

As she looked around at the women who had just embraced her honestly with open hearts, she felt a glimmer of hope that the unconventional path she had taken would only solidify the love her little family shared, despite the peculiar circumstances that brought them together.

“Absolutely, Ashleigh,” Joanna stated, her enthusiasm rekindling the warmth in the room. “And FYI girls,” she added playfully, a mischievous glint in her eye, “Ashleigh’s house is huge! When is it your turn to host?” she chuckled, lightening the mood and sending ripples of laughter through the group. The sound was like a balm, easing any lingering worries and reinforcing the bond they all shared, celebrating each other's journeys and the families they were creating together.

As the coffee continued to flow, so did the conversation, the women seamlessly transitioned to other topics. They shared experiences about their pregnancies, a tapestry of stories vibrant with both joy and struggle. There were tales of morning sickness that seemed relentless, whimsical cravings that took them by surprise, and moments of incredible connection with their unborn children. Each story exchanged was a thread, weaving them closer together, painting a picture of a community that was rich and diverse. 

They laughed together, recalling the silly things they had done to cope with the challenges of impending motherhood—like late-night trips for ice cream or the unintentional nesting that led to a chaotic home makeover. There were also moments of vulnerability, with tears pooling in their eyes as they spoke of fears and worries that often overwhelmed them. The realities of balancing their dreams with the needs of their growing families loomed large, but in each other’s presence, they found solace and strength.

“I’m sorry ladies,” said Robyn, getting up from her seat and stretching her arms, “All of this…emotion sharing, I need a timeout,” she joked.

The other women who sat around the table gave Robyn a discouraging look, knowing precisely what she meant.

“Robyn…you really need to give up the cigarettes,” stated Joanna firmly, her voice gentle yet laced with concern as she met Robyn's gaze with a tenderness that spoke volumes. “For you and your baby,” she added, her words hanging in the air, a heartfelt plea wrapped in love.

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Robyn replied, her voice edged with defensiveness, yet it was tinged with the heaviness of acknowledgement. “Still…you know me, there could be worse shit that I’m doing,” she remarked, a hint of mischief dancing in her tone as she made her way out of the kitchen door, seeking a temporary escape from the heartfelt conversation.

The table, now slightly quieter, echoed with Emily's gentle response,

“She does have a point, I suppose,” her words were a mix of reluctant acceptance and acknowledgement of Robyn's free-spirited nature.

Sensing the need to support her friend, Ashleigh stood up from her seat and decided to follow Robyn outside. As she approached the front door, it creaked open, revealing Robyn standing by the window, leaning against the wall, a small flame flickering as she lit up a cigarette. The smoke curled into the air, a visible manifestation of her conflicted emotions—a comfort and a struggle all woven into one moment.

“Newbie?” said Robyn, acknowledging Ashleigh’s presence, “You smoke too? Did you get the same lecture?”

Ashleigh chuckled softly, shaking her head as she stepped closer.

“No, not anymore anyway. And no lecture for me. I’m just here to keep you company,” she said, her voice light but her eyes filled with understanding. She leaned against the wall beside Robyn.

Robyn took a long drag, the smoke swirling around her like a protective cloak.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m going to stop just because Joanna threw another guilt trip my way,” she replied, a hint of defiance simmering just beneath the surface.

“Hey, I get it,” Ashleigh said, her tone shifting to one of solidarity. “Sometimes you just need to breathe, you know? But…you really should think about what that breathing is doing to you and the baby.Trust me, it took me a while to quit too.”

“Do you miss it?” asked Robyn, flashing a glance Ashleigh’s way.

Ashleigh took a moment before answering, her gaze fixed on the drifting smoke.

“Honestly? Yes,” she responded with a chuckle, “It was my way of handling stress. But then I realised the stress doesn’t go away just because I have a cigarette. You know?”

Robyn nodded, her eyes squinting against the low winter sun as she contemplated.

“Yeah, I get that,” she acknowledged, before letting out a sigh and flicking the ash from her cigarette. “It’s just hard to be perfect all the time, especially when I feel like everyone’s watching me under a magnifying glass.”

Ashleigh smiled sympathetically,

“Robyn, nobody’s expecting perfection. They just want you to be healthy and happy. That’s all,” she stated.

“Yeah, but it’s hard when you feel like you’re teetering on the edge of a breakdown most days,” Robyn admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. The mask of bravado slipped just a bit, revealing her vulnerability.

“That’s why we’re here,” Ashleigh reassured, gently nudging Robyn’s shoulder.

As Robyn took another drag of her cigarette Ashleigh admired the rose tattoo on her forearm. It was the first time she had truly looked at it in detail, and that is when she also noticed was around it. Robyn’s arms appeared to be covered in scars, a number of scars leading up from her wrist, telling signs that at some point in her life, she had battled her own demons in more visible ways than smoking. It struck Ashleigh how easy it was to overlook the silent struggles of others, especially when they wore a mask of confidence and nonchalance like Robyn did.

“Your tattoo is beautiful,” Ashleigh said, breaking the silence, curious about the story behind it. “Does it mean something special to you?”

Robyn glanced down at the ink sprawled across her skin, tracing the rose with her fingers.

“Thanks,” she said, a layer of melancholy lacing her tone. “It reminds me that beauty can come from pain. These scars,” she gestured lightly toward her arms, “they’re reminders too. I used to think they defined me, but I’m starting to see them differently now.”

Each scar told a story of struggle and survival, battles fought and won, albeit not easily.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Ashleigh replied softly. “It’s okay to have scars. They show you’ve lived, you know?”

Robyn chuckled nervously, the weight of Ashleigh's words lingering in the air as she took another drag of her cigarette, the smoke mingling with the cold winter air.

“Yeah, well, sometimes it feels like I’m just stumbling through life trying to hold it all together and not fall apart,” she admitted her voice a mix of vulnerability and frustration. “And these ones, these here are how I used to try and cope,” she added, pointing at track marks further up her arm.

The admission hung heavily between them, a silent acknowledgement of past struggles.

“Oh Robyn…” Ashleigh murmured, empathy pouring from her heart. But before she could continue, Robyn cut her off with a wry smile.

“Let me guess, you’re sorry I had to go through all that bullshit,” she joked, her voice lightening for a brief moment, trying to mask the seriousness of the conversation with humour. But behind her laughter was a flicker of pain, a desire for understanding, and a need to push back against the heaviness of her past.

“Not sorry,” Ashleigh gently corrected, “but I’m grateful you’re willing to share it with me. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things. You don’t have to carry it alone, you know?”

Robyn’s expression softened, and for the first time, she felt a glimmer of hope—that perhaps she could let someone in, that her scars didn’t have to be worn in solitude. The cold winter air enveloped them, but at that moment, their connection felt like a warm flame against the invisible chill.

“Ha, yeah,” Robyn scoffed, her laughter strained as she fought to hide the tears that threatened to spill over. “I’m thinking of getting this tattoo extended, you know?" She attempted to redirect the conversation, plunging back into the familiar territory of humour. “So it goes right up my arm, hiding all of the bullshit, maybe even the name of the baby when it comes,” she added, a spark of mischief lighting her eyes, trying desperately to lighten the mood even if only for a fleeting moment, but Ashleigh’s expression remained the same.

“You have us now, Robyn, all of us,” Ashleigh said gently, her voice imbued with warmth and sincerity. “You aren’t alone in this, not anymore.”

Robyn couldn’t help but let a smirk appear as she replied, “You mean the gathering of mother hens in there?” Her tone was playful, a hint of humour shining through. She gestured back towards the house where Joanna, Lucy, and Emily were. “They’re nice and all. I know they all want what’s best for me, and I appreciate that. But sometimes, they can be quite smothering, you know?”

Ashleigh gave a soft smile, understanding flickering in her eyes,

“They just care about you, Robyn. It’s their way of showing support, even if it might seem overwhelming at times,” she replied.

Robyn rolled her eyes, a light chuckle escaping her lips.

“Support or surveillance? Honestly, you’d think they were guarding the crown jewels with how they hover around me.” She waved her hand dramatically, exaggerating the image of her friends keeping a watchful eye.

“It might feel like that sometimes,” Ashleigh conceded, letting out a small laugh. “But just remember, they’re looking out for you because they believe in you. Just like I do,” she added earnestly. “I mean, I’ve just met you, and I can already tell you’re such a bright, beautiful young woman with so much potential.”

Robyn grimaced slightly, a hint of scepticism tainting her laughter,

“Believe in me? That’s a stretch, Ashleigh. I’m just a hot mess on a good day.” Robyn joked.

“And that’s perfectly okay!” Ashleigh replied, her enthusiasm undiminished. “We all have our messes. It’s how you handle them that truly counts.”

Robyn shook her head, the faintest hint of a smile breaking through the shell of her self-doubt.

“Right. Handle them like a pro, while pretending everything's fine. It’s like putting on a performance every single day,” She stated as she flicked ash from her cigarette, the embers glowing briefly before disappearing into the air.

“As I said, you’ve got more strength than you realise, Robyn. The fact you’re even here, talking about this, shows you’re working on it,” said Ashleigh.

Robyn took a deep breath, allowing the coolness of the wall to anchor her momentarily as she leaned her head against its surface. Her eyes fluttered shut, seeking a fleeting escape from the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in her mind.

“Yeah, well, some days it just feels like people are more interested in the scars than the story behind them,” she uttered with a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of untold tales. The tone in her voice was laced with a mixture of fatigue and frustration, a reflection of her struggle to be understood amidst a world that often seemed fixated on the surface.

Ashleigh, sensing the depth of Robyn's sentiment, tilted her head slightly, her expression softening,

“I get that,” she replied, her voice steady and reassuring. “But the stories are what make the scars mean something. They show you’ve fought battles and come out on the other side.” She paused, her words hovering in the air like a gentle reminder. “Each scar tells a tale of resilience, of moments that tested you and shaped you into who you are today."

“Poetically said, Ash. Maybe I should just get tattoos of all these poetic clichés on me instead,” replied Robyn with a smile, opening her eyes as she took the last few drags of her cigarette before tossing it to the ground.

“If it makes you feel better, go for it! Just make sure to add a little sparkle, maybe a unicorn for good measure, ” joked Ashleigh

Robyn chuckled, wiping away a tear that had slipped,

“Yeah, a unicorn would definitely class up this whole look,” she said before pausing, her expression growing serious. “But in all seriousness, it’s just confusing sometimes. One moment I’m moving forward, and the next… I’m stuck back in that dark place.”

“That feeling is normal, trust me. It’s okay to revisit those emotions as long as you don’t stay there forever,” said Ashleigh, her tone empathetic towards her new friend.

Robyn inhaled deeply, considering Ashleigh’s words, but then a shadow crossed her face.

“Forever… that’s the scary thought. What if I can’t break free?” said Robyn, “I’ve been stuck there a few times before, Ash and trust me, they’re scary as hell. I thought I'd conquered those demons, but they always seem to find a way back in.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine sweetie,” said Ashleigh, “But as I said, you have all of u now, things aren’t the same as they were for you back then. We’ll break free together, I’ll pull you back myself if I have to. But trust me, you have a whole team ready to back you up. We’ll figure it out, one step at a time.”

Ashleigh reached out, placing a reassuring hand over Robyn’s, offering comfort and solidarity. The warmth of her connection was a reminder that Robyn wasn’t facing her struggles alone; there were people who cared and were willing to walk alongside her through the darkness.

Robyn’s eyes softened as she looked at Ashleigh, genuinely touched,

“Okay, that’s a comforting thought. Just promise me you’ll keep your mother-hen instincts at bay sometimes?” she joked, yet it was clear to Ashleigh that she was trying so hard to prevent any further tears from escaping.

At that moment, Ashleigh felt a wave of affection for her friend. She leaned in slightly, her own worries and fears momentarily forgotten, exchanging a look of understanding that spoke volumes.

“Deal. But I can’t promise I won’t cluck a little here and there,” Ashleigh replied, punctuating her words with a playful grin, determined to bring a smile back to Robyn’s face.

She could see a flicker of relief in Robyn’s eyes as the tension began to ease,

“As long as you don’t try to sit on me, we’re golden,” replied Robyn, a smile appearing on her face, one that appeared genuine and not forced. “Now, let’s go back before the hens start wondering where we’ve flown off to,” Robyn added with a chuckle, clearly feeling more at ease. Ashleigh couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, her laughter echoing in the air like a melody.

“Oh my god will you stop,” laughed Ashleigh, shaking her head in mock exasperation even as a smile stretched across her face.

As Ashleigh and Robyn returned to the kitchen, they were still laughing and joking with one another.

“What seems to have amused the two of you?” asked Joanna, curiously.

“Oh nothing, really,” replied Ashleigh, throwing a smile in Robyn’s direction.

“Yeah, nothing to ruffle your feathers over anyway,” quipped Robyn, her eyes sparkling with mischief. The playful banter flowed easily, each word a building block in the atmosphere of camaraderie they had created, one that felt almost tangible and warm, like a favourite blanket on a chilly evening.

Joanna raised an eyebrow, pretending to look sceptical but unable to suppress her own smile at the whimsical exchange between her two friends.

“Well, you two look like you just hatched a plan or something. Spill!” she insisted, a teasing lilt to her voice that made it clear she was both intrigued and entertained.

The moment Joanna said “hatched,” it was the comedic icing on the cake. Unable to contain themselves, Ashleigh and Robyn burst into giggles, their laughter ringing out like the joyous sound of two children who had just formed an unbreakable bond of friendship.

“Oh you know, I just referred to Ashleigh here as a mother hen,” joked Robyn, as Ashleigh threw her a knowing look before shrugging her shoulders, deeming it more acceptable to say it was about her, than telling the truth that Robyn had been referring to the older women, something that may have offended them.

“Oh dear lord, what have we created, getting these two acquainted,” said Emily, unable to contain her own laughter.

However, one feeling lingered in the hearts of Joanna, Lucy, and Emily: a profound relief to see Robyn genuinely smiling and joking with someone, especially if that someone was only a few years older than her—or at least, as she appeared, which highlighted Robyn’s youthful spirit despite the world’s complexities surrounding them.

The light-hearted chatter between the five women continued for a few more hours, carrying with it an infectious energy that created a palpable bond among them. They exchanged laughter and shared their experiences, diving deep into tales that chronicled their trials and tribulations during pregnancy. With each story, a different facet of their lives was revealed—each anecdote a glimpse into the chaotic yet beautiful journey of motherhood.

There was a particularly hilarious recounting of a late-night trip to the supermarket that Joanna shared, where she found herself in a frantic quest to satisfy an inexplicable craving for pickles and ice cream. The vivid imagery of that moment had everyone in stitches, as they pictured her dashing through the aisles, eyes wide with urgency. Lucy chimed in with her own story of a mischievous escapade involving her toddler, who had turned their living room into a blanket fort that rapidly evolved into a full-blown pirate ship, complete with an enthusiastic crew of stuffed animals. The vivid recollections sparked even more stories; they flowed seamlessly like a well-rehearsed play, each woman eager to contribute her own twist on the shared experience of motherhood.

Emily added to the chorus of laughter with her account of the time her oldest daughter, as a baby had decided to make a very public mess during a family gathering, leaving her scrambling for wipes while trying to maintain her composure. The laughter grew to tears as they each recalled similar incidents that, in hindsight, were nothing more than amusing moments in the grand narrative of their lives. The blend of their experiences wove a rich tapestry of shared struggles, joys, and the undeniable bond of sisterhood that motherhood had forged among them.

As the afternoon rolled along, it got to a point where first Lucy said her goodbyes, with promises to see them all again soon. Shortly after, Emily made her announcement that she too had to leave, she had a daughter to collect from daycare. However, this was to bring about Robyn leaving too as Emily had driven her there and yet, this was something she wasn’t quite ready for as she seemed to be enjoying talking to Ashleigh or “Newbie” as Robyn put it. This was soon remedied, however, as Joanna said that she would be happy to give Robyn a ride, or as she and Ashleigh were now dubbed, “The new dynamic duo.” Even if this only extended her time there by an hour.

Joanna made the coffee for herself and the dynamic duo before the three of them settled into the living room.

“You know, I’ve had a wonderful time today, Joanna, thank you,” stated Robyn, a genuine smile lighting up her face as she took a sip of the rich brew.

“You are ever so welcome, thank you for coming, both of you,” replied Joanna, with a smile, one that radiated pride in helping create what looked to be a fairly good friendship. “Truly though Robyn, it’s so wonderful to see that smile of yours. It must be having someone around your own age, not just us older women to talk to.”

Joanna’s words hung in the air, resonating with both Robyn and Ashleigh. Ashleigh, lost in thought for a moment, reflected on the advice her mother and Mrs Henry had given her. They were right; getting out of the house, meeting new people, and building connections outside of family was vital. It was clear to her that establishing a friendship with Robyn would be beneficial for both of them, providing a support system as they navigated the complexities of their shared experiences. The realisation brought a warmth to her heart, as she looked over at Robyn, who was still beaming from Joanna’s kind words.

As Robyn and Ashleigh returned their cups to the kitchen, preparing to leave, Joanna took a last-minute trip to the toilet before they left the house, stating the baby was pressing her bladder. As they did so, Robyn brought up the topic of her baby’s father.

“He is genuinely such a douchebag I tell you,” stated Robyn, her frustration clear in her voice as she placed her cup down with a little more force than necessary, the clinking noise punctuating her annoyance. “Since I told him I was pregnant, I think I’ve seen him like twice…maybe.” Her eyes widened in disbelief at the thought. “He just vanished! One minute he was all excited or so it seemed and the next, it’s like I’m invisible to him. It’s infuriating!”

“My god, that’s awful sweetie,” replied Ashleigh, her voice dripping with empathy, as she stepped closer, leaning against the counter in supportive solidarity.

Robyn took a breath, trying to steady herself, but the irritation bubbled over again.

 “He doesn’t even bother to check-in. No texts. No calls. Just… nothing. I don’t understand how someone can just walk away from responsibilities like that. It’s sad, really," she explained.

“You deserve so much better than that, Robyn, you truly do,” stated Ashleigh, “You don’t need someone who can’t step up.”

“As always he was so…charming when I met him, but all he cared about was partying and the sex,” Robyn continued, “But now, throw a baby into the mix, and suddenly it’s like he goes running for the hills! It’s just... unbelievable.”

Ashleigh listened tentatively as Robyn continued her rant. Soon enough Joanna returned and the trio made their way out to the car.

“What are we discussing, ladies?” Joanna asked with a curious lilt to her voice, trying to catch the tail end of their conversation.

“Just the sperm donor of a man who has no backbone whatsoever,” Robyn replied without missing a beat, the exasperation evident in her tone.

“Oh… okay, this again,” said Joanna with a sigh, her tone decidedly flippant. It was a well-practised response, one that showed her familiarity with Robyn’s grievances, a hint of exasperation mixing with understanding that suggested this was yet another chapter in an ongoing saga they had all heard before.

“I’m sure the guy only cares about his bike anyway,” said Robyn, her voice dripping with disdain, “If I ever clap eyes on it, I’ll straight up smash it to pieces.”

Ashleigh could sense nothing but pure venom in Robyn’s words, yet something piqued her interest—something in the details of her friend’s tumultuous story sounded hauntingly familiar. The charming guy, the motorcycle, the partying lifestyle; it struck a chord deep within her. No…surely not. The pieces began to click in her mind, and worry crept in as she contemplated the implications of her friend’s frustrations.

“I told you, sweetie, he’s no good for you,” Joanna interjected as she turned the ignition, the car rumbling alive beneath them. “Guys like that, they’re really only after one thing.” There was a finality in her voice that hung in the air, underscoring the weight of that truth. Robyn slumped back into her seat, the weight of the conversation settling around them like an oppressive fog.

“I know…I honestly thought he was Johnny was different,” said Robyn, as she cradled her bump, “Well one thing is for sure, you aren’t going to be anything like that,” she whispered to her unborn child.

The mere mention of the name Johnny sent a jolt of surprise coursing through Ashleigh, her eyes widening further as recognition ignited within her. Memories she had tucked away began to surface, swirling like vibrant leaves caught in a storm.

“The only time J.D. cared about me was when we were doing drugs and having sex,” Robyn continued, her voice growing reflective, betraying a deeper hurt that lay beneath her bravado. “In hindsight, he was probably sticking it wherever he could. We never had a proper relationship,” she confessed, the weight of her words sinking into the air, heavy with the burden of lost love and shattered expectations.

Ashleigh felt a knot of anxiety twist in her stomach as she processed her friend’s revelations. There were echoes of the past resonating within Robyn’s story that sent waves of panic coursing through her veins. The implications of their intertwined histories began to weigh heavily on her conscience. She could hardly breathe as the memories of her mistake, her brief encounter with J.D. came rushing back like an unwelcome guest at a party. How could she possibly reveal to her new friends that she not only knew the scumbag but also had engaged in a fleeting, misguided one-night stand with him?