Reverend Rizzsanity

While primarily occupied by beast hordes, Qing Mao Mountain houses three Gu Master Clans and tens of mortal villages divided amongst them—Gu Yue, Bai, and Xiong.

Gu Yue Village is at the waist of the mountain, the Bai Clan settles around the pool beside the waterfall behind Gu Yue Village, and the Xiong Clan lives at the foot of Qing Mao. While the Gu Masters protect their homes and ‘rear’ mortals, the menial task of farming and hunting falls on the mortal’s shoulders. Unable to create sweeping farms, the mortals settle for the blocks of steps, using the fertile soil to grow different vegetables and food. Gu Masters from their respective ‘Masters’ overlook the operations, keeping things in check.

*Ting-a-Ling*

*Ting-a-Ling*

*Ting-a-Ling*

A bell’s loud jingle echoes, attracting several mortal farm hands as they look up with surprise and worship. They watch a colorful ‘snake’ slowly slither up the trail to the Gu Yue Village, passing through different mortal settlements under its protection.

*Ting-a-Ling*

Many children find themselves filled with energy as they watch with extreme curiosity.

A giant, 2.5 meters-tall orange-brown toad leaps forward, announcing its presence through the brass bell around its neck. Its exposed back reveals thick warts and lumps similar to an ancient bronze gate’s brass nails. The giant creature carries several large boxes and packages tied to its back using hemp rope.

It’s a Rank 3 Treasure Brass Toad Gu!

Gu Worms possess different shapes and abilities. This giant Toad is a carrier Gu capable of traversing large distances and carrying several hundred kilograms on its back.

An earthen worm as long as 15 meters with its body covered in thick leather follows after the toad, carrying more packages on its long back. A winged, feather serpent blessed with colorful feathers and skin follows after the earthworm. Others watch the robust ostriches walking elegantly and dragging heavy carriages!

The children of the Gu Yue Village laugh and play around these strange creatures fearlessly. A wave of excitement spreads in the Village as other mortals open the windows of their second-story floors to watch the colorful procession as several dozen Gu Masters enter Gu Yue Village, ranging from Rank1-3! Mortal warriors carry themselves in dignity… as they drag shorter carriages.

‘It’s here,’ Lo Jik whistles. His host remembers this scene, but watching it directly fills Lo Jik with an urge to explore the world despite its fatal dangers.

It’s the caravan!

Hundreds and thousands of named mountain ranges occupy the Southern Border, and traversing through various forests and valleys is not a simple task. Qing Mao Mountain itself has multiple restricted and dangerous regions! While a few Legends can explore the world as they see fit, the extensive majority cannot.

Humans are always social, and trade is always attractive.

Different mountains possess various local products that are treasures elsewhere. For instance, Qing Mao Mountain has fertile soil, and Spear Bamboo is a popular local commodity used in fermenting wine, which is popular in other regions. Similarly, other mountains and cultures possess different goods they may trade.

However, trading is difficult given the dangers, and no mortal, not even a Rank 5 Gu Master, can establish safe trade routes throughout the Southern Border! Such need for trade gave rise to Caravans that band together and travel a portion of the region to trade goods from one location to another. Gu Yue Village and similar settlements require a Caravan to import various goods. Meanwhile, Caravans also profit by purchasing local products and selling them for higher prices in different regions.

The Leader of the Caravan catered to Gu Yue Village is Jia Fu. He is a round, middle-aged Gu Master whose eyes naturally seem to squint when he smiles. Dressed in lavish earthen and golden tones, Jia Fu rides the Brass Toad’s head. Even when the ground shakes slightly with each impact, Jia Fu’s body remains stable atop the toad.

Only his Brass Toad enters the village’s heart as the remaining procession settles on the outskirts.

“Brother Gu Yue Bo!” Jia Fu jumps down the toad with an amicable smile. The distinct aura of Rank 4 Gu Master on the Caravan’s leader matches Gu Yue Bo’s cultivation, who cups his hand and greets in return, “Brother Jia Fu! Welcome!”

Other Rank 3 Elders of the clan adopt a more polite stance by bending their waists slightly as Jia Fu and Gu Yue Bo hug each other with laughs.

“You arrived later than usual, Brother Jia. I hope you didn’t encounter any unfortunate situation.”

“Sigh, what can I say, Brother Gu Yue! The weather is harsher than usual, forcing us to delay our travels multiple times. However, it couldn’t affect our goods! Hehe! Let’s have a fruitful trade.”

“Well said!” Gu Yue Bo snickers, welcoming Jia Fu inside the Pavilion.

Other traders work swiftly, setting varied tents and stalls of different sizes, shapes, and colors! A colorful carnival surrounds Gu Yue Village’s outskirts as many businesses close early to enjoy the sights and find a good deal.

After all, the Caravan only stays for three days. They change their goods daily, and prospective buyers enjoy browsing through the exhaustive selection. Even if they don’t buy anything, many Gu Masters won’t mind broadening their horizons.

Lo Jik is among the latter.

His current expenses and earnings from extorting the classroom net him a profit of 5 stones. He currently possesses 215 stones after another week of extortion. His purchasing power is limited, and he wants to scope things for experience. He already owns two rare Rank 1 Gu worms, and feeding the Black Boar Gu is a pain since he has to act for it. He cannot house more Gu worms. An experienced Rank 1 Gu Master will maintain 4-5 Gu Masters, and Lo Jik, a rookie, is already nearing that ‘soft cap.’

A Gu Master can acquire any number of Gu Worms as long as they refine it. However, the cost of their maintenance is what limits a Gu Master’s arsenal. They don’t only think about the expenses but the rarity of a Gu worm’s food, too.

Feeling something, Lo Jik looks back, catching Fang Yuan glancing at him. The Academy Elder promptly excused the classroom at the Caravan’s arrival since he had other duties and wanted the class to make the most of the opportunity. There were other Academy students in the crowd, too.

Nodding at Fang Yuan, Lo Jik continues his way.

Lo Jik admits the boy does freak him out sometimes, but he chalks it out to some psychological trauma. It’s not like Fang Yuan’s life is without issues.

Speaking of trauma—

“Classmate Fang?”

The hair on the back of Fang Zheng’s neck sticks out as the youth feels a chill the second he hears the polite voice calling him. He turns around, glaring at the smiling Lo Jik, growling, “What do you want?”

Lo Jik shrugs, goading the boy and possibly making an enemy out of a future elder for the reward beside Fang Zheng. He looks at the brown-eyed brunette, nodding at her before glancing at Zheng, “The same thing as you want.”

Alarmed, Fang Zhen unconsciously steps between Lo Jik and Shen Cui. He wanted to spend time with Shen Cui. He had to reject his friends’ offers and beg his adoptive father and mother to excuse Cui from her duties for some time. The last thing Fang Zheng wants is to spend a moment longer around Lo Jik.

“What do you mean?!” The genius barks as worry filters into Shen Cui’s gaze.

Chuckling, Lo Jik walks past the defensive Fang Zheng, touching a robe’s hem. “Clothes, Classmate Fang. You blessed me with enough money to purchase new clothes. Hmm, you.”

Shen Cui yelps when Lo Jik’s gaze lands on her. Fang Zheng clenches his fist, ready to fight.

However, Lo Jik points at Shen Cui’s robe, questioning the slick and quiet stall owner. “Do you have something of that color?” He narrows his eyes at Shen Cui, letting his gaze linger thickly. “It looks good on her.”

“Bastard! I’ll gouge your eyes out!” Fang Zheng snarls as Lo Jik raises his hand in surrender.

“Classmate Fang,” he smiles wryly. “I won’t get anything from fighting you. I mean it. That color suits, uh- what’s your name?”

“S-Shen Cui,” the maid stammers as Lo Jik grins at the owner. “I want something that matches Shen Cui.”

“Young Master,” Shen Cui glances away, holding Fang Zheng’s arm, “Let’s leave. Look! There’s a tavern, too!”

“Fine,” Fang Zheng stares at Lo Jik as she turns around, only to find the latter winking at Fang Zheng.

‘You!’

Anger fills his heart as Fang Zheng bites his lips in frustration.

“Hehe, Young Master!” The stall owner snickers. “What a glib tongue you have.” He retrieves a few robes with earthen and green tones as Lo Jik rolls his eyes.

“Forget these. Show me something in red, black, and blue—something that can last long and be worn in winter and summer.”

The stall owner grows speechless at his fucboi behavior.

<<<>>>

‘Sharing fortune and misfortune. Heh. I wonder if Gu Yue Lo Jik understands the depths of that sentiment.’

The evening sun slowly sets past the horizon, shading the sky with a deep amber hue for a few minutes until dusk kisses the clear sky, darkening it in blue. The caravan looks entirely different at night as various lights and lanterns uplift the establishment’s charms. Some utilize decorative Gu worms to cleverly enhance their surroundings. Meanwhile, others use their expert taste in color composition to set pleasing interiors.

‘There are only a few noteworthy benefits I can gain from Gu Yue Village through my knowledge about the future. I already took what’s left of the Flower Wine Monk’s remains, refining the Liquor Gu. I also earned the sum of 30 primeval stones due to Mo Yan’s ignorance. Like my previous life, success is getting to Lo Jik. However, things changed for Lo Jik only after this Caravan the previous timeline.’

Fang Yuan recalls the hilarious tale of Unlucky Stone Throw.

In his frivolous ways, Lo Jik enters the gambling rock establishment in the caravan with a classmate. There, the couple encounters the girl’s father, who grows furious and smacks his gambling rock at Lo Jik’s head. The father takes the girl away, intending to set her straight once they get home. Arrogant and shameless as ever, Gu Yue Lo Jik will pick the free gambling stone.

Nobody could imagine the gambling rock had a precious Gu worm inside it—a Mudskin Toad Gu! Lo Jik immediately sold it for 200 Primeval stones, funding his cultivation. The event made him slightly famous among the villagers, while the girl’s father could only wallow in regret.

‘You are right, Classmate Lo Jik,’ Fang Yuan snickers shamelessly. ‘We will share fortunes and misfortunes. Not to mention, the Mudskin Toad Gu is more precious than 200 stones. Lo Jik was young and didn’t know its correct value, earning a loss instead.’

Fang Yuan makes his way to the gambling den.

<<<>>>

Lo Jik returns for the night after satiating his curiosity and expending 4 stones. He carries packages of clothes under his arm, slowly opening his cabin’s door.

‘Hmm. I’ll try the gambling den tomorrow. Sure, it’s not like my previous world’s casino, but gambling is never honest. Heh. Finding a Gu Worm from a rock sounds like a good video game.’

Lo Jik’s smile fades when he notices a slip on the other side of the door. Frowning, Lo Jik cautiously walks over to the note before depositing his clothes atop his shelf. Observing how it’s nothing strange after pushing the message with his foot, Lo Jik crouches and turns it over to read its contents.

—Tomorrow night. Same place. Midnight.—

Lo Jik works his jaws.

‘It’s a good thing I got new drip,’ Lo Jik muses, returning to his mattress for daily cultivation.

<<<>>>

“I’m so grateful, Young Master!” Shen Cui hugs Fang Zheng’s arms as the morning sun rays shine on the duo. The caravan is packed with customers again as the couple sometimes squeezes through the crowd. Shen Cui trills. “I never got a chance to enjoy the market. But Young Master brought me here twice!”

Fang Zheng blushes as he feels a lump in his throat. His heart madly beats when he feels Shen Cui’s soft and warm breasts press into his arms. He swallows hard, glancing away while Shen Cui looks upto him, veiling her sly gaze with ostentatious sincerity. However, fate plans other things since Fang Zheng’s body freezes. Shen Cui blinks, following Fang Zheng’s gaze and finding a familiar youth chewing on a small loaf of red bread with bean paste atop it.

Shen Cui’s eyes cannot help but light up slightly in appraisal.

The youth’s regrowing brown hair fails to look unflattering in his new clothes since he fills them well enough. However, Shen Cui glances away, unwilling to attract trouble despite noticing a slight ‘spark’ between them from yesterday.

“What a coincidence, Classmate Fang,” Lo Jik smiles. It IS a coincidence since Lo Jik spent his morning strolling the tavern and trying different dishes. The red bread has a chewy texture and is inherently sweet, which compliments the grounded, nutty taste of the bean paste. If anything—the varied cruising makes Lo Jik more appreciative of this world. He also tried different wines for flavor, including monkey wine, sour shell wine, and sweet agate wine!

“We’re leaving!” Fang Zhen utters instantly when Lo Jik clears his throat. “A moment of your time, Classmate Fang,” Lo Jik smirks as he spreads his hands slightly. “What do you think of my clothes? Your opinion is valuable since you DID purchase it for me.”

Fang Zheng grits his teeth, silently leaving as Shen Cui happens to glance back.

Lo Jik merely beams at her, causing her to hurriedly turn away.

‘Okay. I think Fang Zheng DOES hate me,’ Lo Jik muses. ‘He also probably got a reasonable compensation from the Mo Family, so his cultivation must be progressing smoothly, too. Hmm. He’s also smitten by that Shen Cui.’

For Lo Jik, Love is not a complicated topic. He knows his limits and selfishness. For instance, he liked the Priestess from his previous world not because of her Platinum Achievement. She was kind and caring—cannot get better than that. However, Lo Jik refuses to catch feelings for a mortal. He isn’t motivated by discrimination. Mortals are feeble. Lo Jik didn’t know how frail humanity could be until he started using the Black Boar Gu. Gu Masters of higher levels will possess even more benefits. Such monsters can kill Mortals with a tap of their fingers.

What insanity will grip Lo Jik to catch feelings for mortals?! That’s setting oneself up for pain!

He shakes his head. The sweet taste of the bread now feels slightly bitter as he strolls the market with a complicated look.

His afternoon only worsens when he spends 3 stones on a rock, and it has nothing inside it! He figured he’d try his luck since someone got a Gu worm last night.

<<<>>>

She leans against the familiar rock where she once cornered him. Her gaze dazedly lingers on the thin crescent’s reflection upon the shallow spring as the fireflies act as the star’s companion. The chittering of insects is nothing compared to the spring season since many species burrow into the ground to lay eggs at this time of the year, allowing Mo Yan to reaffirm her decision in silence.

‘It was a mistake!’ She grits her jaw. ‘I was panicking. It’s nothing more. I will threaten AND pay him more money to keep it quiet, the old carrot and sticks approach. Hmph! What was I thinking doing that with a guy with no future?!’

Her lips purse together as she involuntarily recalls their kiss.

It… was pleasant.

Mo Yan questioned her female teammates about their first kiss, and their response was questionable.

‘Kissing with the taste of soy and garlic?’ Mo Yan frowns. That wasn’t her experience. He made her feel good, the way his tongue gently moved around and touched mine.’ She feels her throat drying.

*Snap*

Mo Yan hears a twig snap. The clearing is broader than before despite the season of Bamboo’s growth. It’s evident to the battle Gu Master that the youth trained his Moonlight Gu extensively. Staring at the source of the sound since she was already facing that direction, Mo Yan tried calming her pounding heart. There’s barely any light around them. However, his silhouette becomes more visible the closer he gets.

Her eyes cannot help but brighten.

She hadn’t seen him for almost two weeks. Mo Yan can already point out a few differences. His hair is longer, and his body is no longer extremely skinny. His back must have grown broader and firmer, too.

‘Vanquish that thought immediately!’ She berates herself and observes his outfit. Dark-blue, furlined hunter’s robe fits him well. For once, she’s glad his fur-lined boots keep wet mud from his feet.

What she’s here to do is the last thing on her mind as Mo Yan finds herself quietly walking around Lo Jik. She silently stands inches away from him, looking him up and down before her hands reach for his collars.

Surprising Lo Jik, Mo Yan methodically adjusts his collars, straightens the kinks around his sleeves, and adjusts the knot of his belt before tightening his dagger’s strap around his waist.

“You look better now,” Mo Yan mutters once she steps back.

He nods silently.

“H-How are you, Senior Mo—” He stammers after a few seconds before closing his mouth and glancing away, “—Mo Yan.”

Her toes curl in her boots as she nods, “I’m well.”

“Are you unharmed?” Lo Jik takes a deep breath, acting as if he’s regathering wits before questioning her. “I… was worried. I never got to tell you how grateful I am. I promise to pay you back once I graduate… Mo Yan.”

She blinks. An unreasonable emotion fills her chest and makes her almost stammer. Suddenly, she exhales sharply, shouting, “Damn it!”

Her reaction surprises Lo Jik as red freckles her cheeks, and she looks away. “You aren’t supposed to worry for me! You DEFINITELY aren’t supposed to pay me back!” She settles her snappy glare on him. “I didn’t plan to get my team drunk in the wine tent at this hour to talk sweet nothings with you! What we did was wrong!”

Lo Jik blinks before adopting the mask of innocence, “Did I kiss you incorrectly? How can I make it better?”

“N-Not that!” Mo Yan flushes, puckering her lips. “It was… good. No- damn! Stop it!”

‘I’m doing nothing—literally,’ Lo Jik rolls his eyes internally.

“Just take this compensation and keep it speak to nobody about this! If you do—!” She glares with an implied threat as Lo Jik takes a step back. “I refuse. I don’t need more money. I promise to not tell anyone anything.”

“I don’t trust you,” Mo Yan steps forward. “You WILL take it!”

Lo Jik grows silent before glancing back.

“What?” Mo Yan frowns.

“Nothing. I was checking if there was a rock behind me. I don’t want to get cornered like last time.”

Mo Yan scoffs. “Accept the compensation, and we’ll have nothing to do with each other.”

“I don’t want that.”

“You have to!” Anger appears in Mo Yan’s eyes as she snarls. “Just take it.”

Gritting his teeth, Lo Jik snaps, “I don’t want money if it means I can’t meet you!”

‘Ah! Kill me now!’ Lo Jik cries internally. It’s so hard playing an innocent boy. He would instead refine Shen Cui’s snatch Gu and nurture her walls with his essence!

Mo Yan’s expression freezes as she tightly clenches the pouch.

“You won’t accept it?” Mo Yan questions coldly.

“Never,” Lo Jik stands his ground, not backing when Mo Yan steps forward.

“You won’t accept it even if I threaten you?” Mo Yan demands with a half-snarl as she steps forward again.

“I won’t ever let anyone stop me from… admiring you.”

Mo Yan’s lips quiver as she reaches him. The determination in her gaze falters as she questions, “So, it’s not money you desire. Remind me, what was it that you wanted? I can’t remember many things from our previous meeting.”

Her hand presses on his chest. The padded feeling of muscle relieves her—it means he is eating well.

She raises her chin, questioning softly, “I’ll have to compensate you with what you desire to seal your lips shut.”

‘Oh, she’s surprisingly good,’ Lo Jik blinks but doesn’t lose focus as he slowly leans into her lips. His hands reach to grab her hands as they share a passionate kiss under the waning moon and dancing fireflies.

They slowly lean back, staring at each other.

“I remember now, Lo Jik,” whispers Mo Yan.

“I would like the same payment again tomorrow,” Lo Jik whispers with a mischievous smirk, causing Mo Yan to blink before she grins at him. She pinches his cheek, snarking, “Cheeky fellow! Hmph, I can’t move freely every day. I should pay you in advance to protect Mo Family’s honor!”

She leans forward and pecks him again, gently stroking the spot she pinched.

‘No…’ Lo Jik leans into the kiss. ‘I wish you pay me tomorrow because the Achievements will refresh, and I could have gotten something new.’

He shrugs.

Well, he can’t have everything.

[A Taboo Makeout (Bronze/Repeatable): Made out with Mo Yan. Parties Involved—Host, Gu Yue Mo Yan. Rewards Stored.]

Except that~!

***

Alternative Title: The Caravan Arrives; Jia Fu; Toads, Worms, and Snacks; Gu Yue’s Import-Export Initiative; Rank 4 Leader; Classmate Fang, Fufufufu; Fang Yuan’s One Creepy MF; The Lovely Shen Cui; Laying It Thick; Dripping Out; Lo Jik’s Past Legend; Sharing Fortune; Gambling Den; Going on an Eating Spree! Message; Meeting Classmate Fang Again; Shen Cui Likes What She Sees; Making Fang Zheng Hate; The Adorable Mo Yan?; Who Said Mo Yan Can’t Be Cute?; Paying Another Way; Methodical and Kind?; Ahhhh! Cringe!; Repeating Kiss; Lo Jik Would Rather Have a Kiss The Next Day; Bronze Baby!; Someone Won In The Gambling Den?; Know Yourself, Know Your Women, and You’ll Never Know Defeat In Bed!