NOVEL SIMPLE Chapter 8 - Bump In The Road
“You got a hole in your right wing!”
“Ryan, we aren’t flying planes.”
“Attention to the map!”
“What map? What are you even talking about?”
“Attack the D Point!”
“Negative!”
Me and Ryan had been galloping through the desert on horses, which didn’t seem right, because who uses horses in a desert? Anyway, our destination was called Shadow Canyon, which doubled as both a mine for crystals to make into magical catalysts, and a research facility dating back to the Kar Noxonorean Empire, which studied these crystals and their effect on the fabric of reality. Anyway, all we had to go off of was a single, sandstone road and a general description of Shadow Canyon.
The description was, and I quote, “pretty fucking big”.
Our plan going in was to sneak past any guards, get inside, then ignite the pipe funneled toxic air out of the crystal storage (unrefined crystals are supposedly volatile, and exude toxic gas) and get the hell out of there.
One expected issue that was told by the lieutenant was that the Repo Noxonorea Authority had recently found a depot full of pre-collapse armor and weapons and had outfitted some of the soldiers stationed at this place with it.
However, Alan was confident his good American-made 5.56 ammunition could penetrate it, though.
“Pay attention to the designated-” Ryan began, but I interrupted him. I swore I heard something. Very faint.
“Hey, shut the fuck up. Ya hear that?”
Ryan went silent and listened. Then his eyes widened and pointed behind me. I looked and was immediately almost thrown off my horse by somebody leaping at me from a horse that was very quiet.
I managed to stay on the horse, but my legs were stuck in the stirrups, or whatever the thing you put your feet in was called. The person slashed a dagger at my face, which I dodged by an inch. Okay Alan, basic training time, I thought to myself. How to peacefully and quickly disarm your-
The dagger, which I had dodged, stabbed into my thigh. I roared in pain, then extracted my feet from the stirrups awkwardly. Okay then, I guess I WON’T be peacefully disarming you, but it sure as hell is gonna be quick. I grabbed my assailant and wrestled with him for the knife. I saw Ryan trying to draw a bead on the attacker with his pistol, but we were moving too quickly for him to get a clear shot without endangering my life in the process.
Holding the asshole back from my left arm, I drew my own combat knife and jabbed it at his torso. They moved just in time, however, and it only sliced him, leaving a deep gash in the skin and cloth. As retaliation, they aimed a slice at the tendons in my left arm, which I deflected with my combat knife. However, that didn’t deter them, as they took a more direct approach and headbutted me, making me see stars.
Their hood fell off, revealing a familiar face. “WHAT THE-”
. . .
“FUCK!” Aris yelled, punching the man, Alan he was called, in the gut. “YOU!” She tried to throw the man off the side, but he reacted in time and, while falling, shoved her underneath him and began pushing her against the sand, while the horse was still running as fast as it could. Goddamn! This fucker was-
. . .
-Fast as shit! I thought. Luckily, I had gained the high ground, which was historically a good advantage against villains. However, my position was not secure. I might’ve had the weight advantage against this crazy bitch who had come all the way from Nicaragua to fight me for some reason (if only the baddies were that committed), but I was just barely balanced on the swaying ropes attached to the saddle. However, If I just-
. . .
-Manage to push this MOTHERFUCKER off of me, Aris thought. Then I can take him by surprise and quickly finish him off! That sounded pretty weird when it was said by her inner voice, but she didn’t care. She was only focused on-
. . .
“-Finish the fight, Alan! Come on, you can take em’! Let's go Alan, Let’s go!” Ryan was acting as the cheerleader due to his inability to help without risking my life, but it still was annoying.
“Can you at least-”
. . .
“-TRY to help me!?” Her target Alan yelled, presumably at his partner, who was now holding a stringed instrument and singing some sort of song about a senator’s son. She took advantage of his momentary confusion to pull herself out of the sand that she was being dragged in and latched a leg on Alan and used that to swing herself up over the man, while untangling herself from the ropes. She then-
. . .
-Started hacking at the ropes that I was balanced on. I couldn’t have that, so I grabbed her by the throat and started choking her out. She tried to stab at my arm, but I used one hand to continue gripping her throat and grab her knife arm. I looked around for my combat knife for a moment, couldn’t find it, then yelled at Ryan, “Throw me your knife!”
. . .
The man yelled at his partner, Ryan, to toss a knife over. Instead, Ryan seemed to mishear, and said something that endangered both Aris and the man.
. . .
“You want me to shoot the horse that both of you guys are on so that I can go on and complete the mission? How selfless of you! Whatever you say Alan! I’ll comfort your sister about your death too!” Ryan aimed at the horse's head.
My eyes widened in horror. “Do-”
. . .
“-on’t!” Aris and Alan yelled at the same time. But, the FUCKING DUMBASS that was the man’s partner, with his nearly life-threateningly low levels of intelligence, ignored them, and activated his boomstick, and the horse continued running for a moment. Aris thought they were, somehow, miraculously, going to be fine, but-
. . .
-Like I said earlier, American bullets can pierce anything. However, for me and I guess this bitch, this was bad. The horse collapsed after the brief moment and we were both sent flying. We landed hard in the sand, with me just missing the edge of the hard sandstone road, and the cat bitch somehow landing on her feet. Unfortunately for her, my pack hit her in the face and brought her down too.
I lay in the sand for a moment, watching Ryan disappear into the distance while yelling, “Don’t worry! Your sacrifice will not be in vain! And neither will the loss of your sister’s virginity! And your mom’s!”
Damn. He was gonna fuck my sister. AND my mom.