Scientific Sorcery : Beware of Kittens!

I watched as Cali scurried off to the outhouse, her tail twitching nervously. As soon as she was out of sight, I turned to Stormy.

“Hey Stormy,” I said in English to test if she could understand it as well as the Nordstaii tongue. “Do you understand what I’m saying when I speak to you in a different language? Give me a nod if you do.”

“Mrrow,” the kitten nodded after a moment of pondering.

Hypothesis: Stormy is innately omnilingual. It is possible that Stormy doesn’t actually understand what I'm saying and she is somehow sensing the future-intent behind the words and replying to it.

Decision: only speak with Stormy in English from this point onwards as not to leak information to Cali. Cali’s Tonguemancy, unlike Stormy’s future sense, relies on learning language quickly. From my evaluation of her, Cali has zero precognitive powers, otherwise she wouldn’t stumble right into my liquid floor the way she did.

"So, what do you think?" I asked my feline companion. "Is Cali planning something devious?"

Stormy gave me a look that could only be described as exasperated. "Mrrrow," she replied, which looked like she meant, “Of course she is, you big dolt.”

I smiled, scratching her behind the ears. "Yeah, I figured as much. I can see that her Aura is radiating tiny, thin, silver-blue threads through the Astralscope. I scanned her with the Hexometer too while she slept… her Aura is radiating a rather specific pattern.”

I opened the Codex and showed Stormy what I drew.

“Do you know what this is?”

“Mrro-owl-mrrr,” Stormy said.

I scratched my chin. I got the distinct impression she was trying to convey something complex, but the kitten-human language barrier was proving itself an impediment for both of us.

“Any idea what she’s planning?"

The kitten's eyes narrowed, and she let out a series of chirps and purrs that I couldn't quite decipher.

"Okay, okay," I said. "I get it. Cali is big trouble. But she's also our best source of information about the outside world right now. We need to keep her close, but not too close. Right?"

"Brrrr," Stormy replied.

I pursed my lips. My communication system with Stormy required optimization. Maybe, the kitten could work with basic negative - positive probability stats?

I grabbed the Witch's Codex, flipped it to an empty page, rotated the book sideways and drew a big, basic [YES]<<----[maybe]---->[NO] diagram on the horizontal layout of the page with kitten paws above each.

"Here, why don't we try this?" I asked Stormy.

"Mrrrrw?" Stormy asked.

"Here, let me make it clearer for you," I said.

I drew a happy kitten face above [YES], a neutral face above [maybe] and an angry kitten face above [NO].

"I'll ask you specific questions and you place your paw wherever you feel like the answer belongs. “Yes?"

Stormy tilted her head, considering. Then she put her paw close to the [YES].

Just then, I heard a crash from outside, followed by a string of colorful curses in what I assumed was the Castian language.

I rushed to the window, Stormy hot on my heels. Outside, I saw Cali sprawled in the snow, having apparently slipped on a patch of ice. She was rubbing her backside and glaring at the offending patch of ground as if it had personally insulted her.

I couldn't help but feel a bit of schadenfreude about the Arcanicx's fall from grace.

I placed the conversation diagram on the windowsill beside Stormy.

"Did you see that coming? Did you know that she was going to fall?" I asked Stormy.

Stormy placed a paw on the [NO].

"Huh," I mused, watching as Cali struggled to her feet, still muttering curses. "I guess even future-seeing kittens can't predict everything. Does your prediction operate on a factor I don't know about?"

Stormy placed a paw on the [maybe].

"Okay, let's try some more specific questions. Is Cali planning to escape?" I asked.

Stormy's paw hovered for a moment before landing firmly on [YES].

"Does she have a concrete plan to do it?"

This time, Stormy's paw landed on [maybe].

"Interesting," I muttered. "Is she dangerous to us right now?"

Stormy considered for a long moment, then placed her paw halfway between [maybe] and [NO].

I nodded, processing this information. "But will she be dangerous to us in the future?"

[YES]

"Should I kill her?" I asked.

Stormy's paw hovered uncertainly for a moment, then landed firmly on [NO].

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Really? Even though she'll be dangerous?"

[YES]

I scratched my chin, pondering this. "Is she more valuable alive than dead?"

[YES]

"Interesting," I mused. "Is it because of her knowledge?"

[maybe]

"Her magical abilities?"

[maybe]

"Her Star-Shard?"

[maybe]

"Is there a way to neutralize the danger she poses without killing her?" I asked.

Stormy's paw landed on [YES], but then she let out a soft "mrrp" and shifted it to [maybe].

"Complicated, huh?" I sighed. "Story of my life lately."

I heard the crunch of snow under boots and the groan of the wooden door, signalling Cali's return. I closed the Codex and turned to face the back door.

Cali entered, her face flushed from the cold and her earlier tumble. She eyed me suspiciously, then glanced at Stormy, who was now innocently grooming herself as if we hadn't just been casually discussing murdering her.

"Everything alright?" I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

Cali nodded stiffly. "Fine," she muttered, brushing some snow off her dress. "Your... outhouse facilities leave much to be desired."

I shrugged. "Welcome to Svalbard. We're not exactly known for our luxury accommodations. Population: 3."

The merchant squinted at me, finding no amusement in my jokes.

"I think it's time we had a proper chat about your... unique abilities, Miss merchant,” I said.

Cali's eyes narrowed further, her white tail and ears twitching nervously. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," I said. "But let's start with the basics. How many shards do you have, exactly?"

Her eyes widened slightly, and I knew I'd caught her off guard. "I... err… j-just a big one in my lavalier."

Stormy's paw smacked the word [NO].

I raised an eyebrow at Cali. "Really? Because my feline friend here and I seems to think otherwise."

Cali's ocean-blue eyes darted between me and Stormy. "I don't know what you're talking about," she stammered out.

I grabbed the Codex and walked to sit back against my earth pile. "Look, Cali, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I know you have more than one shard. The question is, are you going to tell me about them willingly, or am I going to have to get creative? I order you to tell me where your shards are." I said.

"T-the b-big shard's in the lavalier," the merchant ground out, her entire face turning red. "Ssssssss... small ones... sss... are home... home in Iridium!"

I squinted at her. Cali's face was contorted in a grimace, tears at the edges of her eyes.

"Home in Iridium, huh?" I said. "Isn't that awfully convenient. And you're absolutely sure there are no other shards on your person right now?"

"I'm ssss-sure" she managed, her voice strained.

I glanced at Stormy, who was giving Cali a look that could only be described as mistrust. I slid the Codex to the kitten. The kitten's paw became firmly planted on the [NO] in our makeshift communication system.

"You know," I said casually, "I'm starting to think you might not be entirely honest with me, Cali. And that's a problem. Because if you can lie despite the blood contract, then I can't trust anything you say."

"I'm not lying!" she protested.

"Two steps back," I barked. Cali struggled with her own feet but eventually took two steps back. I pressed the button on the remote and the floor under her feet turned into a mire.

"N-not again… d-damn you!" she cried.

With a flick of my thumb, I re-solidified the ground, trapping her up to her thighs in the hardened floor.

"Now," I said, my voice firm, "let's try this again. Does your sleigh have any protections against intruders?"

Cali's face contorted, clearly fighting against the magical compulsion. "Ye-yesss," she finally spat out, her tail lashing in frustration. "A ff-field blocks mortals from opening the door!"

"Just that?" I asked.

"Just that!" Cali hissed out.

[NO] Stormy tapped the page.

"I order you to tell me about all of the protections on your sleigh," I said.

"I... I can't," she gasped, sweat beading on her forehead. "The oath I took at the Maggelanum... it prevents me from revealing w-ward ddd-design ss-schemas to ssss-strangers!"

“Oh we’re strangers now are we, Miss first-wife?” I arched an eyebrow. “Is she lying?” I glanced at Stormy. The kitten's paw slid over to [maybe]. A partial lie then. Maybe she did take an oath at the Maggelanum, but it wasn't enforced in any magical manner.

"So there's a comet shard inside of your sleigh protecting it from being robbed?" I asked Cali.

"Y-you already figured that out, y-you b-bastard, s-so w-why in Godara's name m-musst you torture me?" the merchant hissed out, thrashing left and right, but unable to free herself. "If you j-just let me wear my lavalier I can d-disable the ward and ss-show you everything inside my ss-sleigh, d-damn it!"

Stormy insistently tapped the word [NO].

"I know sweetie," I gave the frustrated-looking kitten another pet, speaking to Stormy in English "I'm not going to let her combine her shards to mentally break me again or to trick us."

I ignored Cali's soft whimpers and sat into my meditation pose and cleared my head. As per usual, I didn't see any spirits, didn't feel anything except for two mildly annoying sparks - the lavalier buried in the floor and Glinka's rock sitting in a bucket. I mentally went over my options. If the comet shard was magic, then there had to be a way to screw with it... magically.

From my experiments with copper wire on Day 37 of my life in Svalbard and Glinka's rock, I knew that a foreign spirit, aka Glinka's magic interfered with and slowed down my own magic.

I turned to Stormy.

"If I steal lots of rocks from Glinka, will she attack me?"

Stormy blinked at me, not sure where to put her paw.

"Okay, let's try a different question" I said to the kitten. "If I use Glinka's rocks to interfere with the sleigh's protection, will it work?"

Stormy's paw hovered for a moment before landing between [maybe] and [YES].

I nodded, thinking it through. "Will it be dangerous for me to try?"

[maybe]

That was somewhat encouraging.

"If we both go there, will we be able to invade the sleigh and steal everything of value while Glinka fights with the Star-Shard?"

[maybe]

"If I make... Glinka fight the Sleigh, will it burn out the protection ward?"

[YES] Stormy shuddered ever so slightly as she pawed at the reply.

Now, this answer looked very encouraging. I noticed that Cali was staring at me with wide eyes.

"What are you two planning?" she demanded. “What language are you talking to that cat in?"

I grinned at her, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of a new, dangerous experiment. "Oh, nothing much. Just a little field trip to your sleigh. I think it's time we had a look at what you've been hiding in there."

"What?!" Cali's face paled. "You can't just touch it without me being there to disable the ward! The Star-Shard will either kill you or knock your stupid ass out for a week and then I'm going to starve to death fused in the floor!"

"Oh, don't worry about me,” I grinned, sliding a jug of mundane, non-irradiated witch water to her side. “I've got a plan. You see, Cali… Every rock has a spirit and a name. And we are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a loop that never ends."

"What?" Cali stared at me blankly, clearly not understanding the 90s cartoon reference. "Do... Do you get how insane you sound right now? A loop that never ends? What is that cat even pawing in that book? Are those angry cat faces? Did you draw cat faces for her to paw at?"

She didn't understand the words written under the cat faces in English.

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity, Miss Merchant. And I prefer walking across the tip of the dissection blade between the two,” I said.

“Goldara’s tits,” Cali hissed out. “You are mad!”

"What do you think, Stormy? Am I insane?" I winked at the kitten.

Stormy considered for a moment, then deliberately placed her paw on [maybe].