Scientific Sorcery : Beware of Kittens!

“No,” I said. “I don’t trust you.”

“Trust,” Mooni tapped her beak. “Trust can be bought and sold, traded and earned. Trust can be won. Trust like friendship, like any relationship archetype, is transactional. What do you want to know? What do you wish me to tell you for the acquisition of your trust?”

I raised the crystal snowflake to the orb.

“Do you know what this is?”

“Tap the orb with it,” she said.

I did.

The Corvix’s yellow eyes grew wide.

“Astra Corvus!” She exhaled. “That… that reads like a primogenitor artifact of the Builders! The purest strata, at least one hundred thousand years old!”

I noticed she was drooling again.

“Sorry, sorry!” Moonalia fished a silk white and gold thread cloth out of her pocket and wiped her face. “I can’t help it. Why do you keep increasing in value? You’re driving me crazy! Just when I assess your value I have to up it again! Ughhh.”

I watched as Moonalia composed herself, her feathers slowly smoothing back down.

"What exactly is a primogenitor artifact?" I asked.

"Incredibly rare and powerful objects, created by the original inhabitants of this world - the ones who came before us. Sort of like Endalaus! Endalaus is defined as the primogenitor artifact zero, the beating heart of all magic on Thornwild!”

“Uh-huh. And how does one use a primogenitor artifact?” I pressed, a bit of hope blossoming in my heart. "How do I turn this thing on?"

“Don’t know,” Moonalia shook her head. “On the account that nobody in their right mind would let a tier five Artificer touch one. I would cut off my arm… no, arms to touch this. Legs too. Just leave me my beak. Please. Just one peck. That’s all I want in life.”

I sighed.

“Oh, wrong answer,” Mooni backtracked quickly with more machine gun stuttering. “Not actually cutting self. Didn’t mean like that, only a turn of phrase! Value. Incredible value. Greatest dream. Solution to many problems! Key to a door of greater knowledge beyond the stars! Door that leads to doors! To endlessness!”

I squinted at her, waiting for her to slow down.

“Am I being annoying?” She asked. “Sorry. I’ll try to stay on track, slow down. Don’t know how to use Builder artifact, but might figure it out in person. Maybe. Can’t guarantee success. Can’t lie. Hi kitten. I see you. I'm not lying! Look at my honest face!”

She waved a ring-covered hand at Stormy, yellow eye zooming in on the kitten.

“Mrrwrl,” Stormy said.

“I am marveling!” Mooni’s gold eyes became even bigger in the orb’s fish-eye view. “Marveling and cherishing. You’re the cleverest kitten I’ve met, not that I’ve met many four-legged kittens… but still. I supposed you’re sort of like my Felix Masters. Listen, I’ll do anything, I’ll bring you anything that I can afford on my tier five salary. I’ll…”

“Hooorrrnnsssttt-rrrreee,” Stormy let out a low, deep growl.

“No, no, no bad thoughts!” Mooni slapped herself. “Extra honest now. Extra hard quadratic honestly. Yes! Just as you desire, your grace!”

I frowned at the increasingly stuttering and fluttering Corvix, not sure if Stormy was breaking her somehow.

“If it was just you, your feline excellence and your gem servant, that would be one story. The wrong kind of story, the kind where I eventually betray you when it's convenient after I’ve wrung everything of value from you…” the crow-girl stammered. “But. But. This. This is real, right? Primo-Builder stuff? It has to be. You know that it is. I know that it is.”

I looked between the kitten and the bird-person.

“Surrnn-brrreeeam,” Stormy said.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Mooni nodded. “I’ll find it for you. The sunniest, beamiest, perfectest… place on Thornwild. Promise, promise. Cross my raven heart.”

She crossed her steel-encrusted talons in a large X across her chest.

Stormy began to purr.

“Deal, deal, deal!” the Corvix clapped.

"What?" I blinked, looking between Stormy and Moonalia. "What deal?"

Mooni’s eyes were wide with exuberant excitement.

"Your owner and I have come to an understanding! I'll help her find the perfect sunbeam spot on all of Thornwild in exchange for meeting you in person."

“Uh-huh,” I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on. "And how exactly do you plan to find this... perfect sunbeam?"

Moonalia's feathers ruffled with enthusiasm. "Oh, that's the easy part! We Corvix have extensive maps and data on Thornwild's geography and climate. I can cross-reference that with solar patterns and..."

She continued on, rapidly explaining a complex process involving magical instruments and calculations. I barely understood half of it, but Stormy seemed satisfied.

"And in exchange for this... sunbeam location," I said slowly, "you want to meet me in person?"

"Yes!" Moonalia nodded vigorously. "Just to observe, of course. No touching, no dissecting. I promise!"

I glanced at Stormy again, who was still purring contentedly.

“My… owner?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Well, uh, uhm,” Mooni stammered. “You certainly don’t see it this way, but your feline Seeker of Knowledge does. This is fairly typical archetype behavior. Sorry, sorry! I’m trying to match both of you and it’s hard to be honest, when there are two truths, two points of view.”

“What?”

"You and your cat are a team, no? She’s the seeker of sunbeams and you’re the Understanding that helps you get there! Like me and Cali! See, once knowledge or a tool is found someone has to understand it. That's us. You and me, right? Right!"

“Hrm,” I rubbed my chin.

“Among us Corvix, there's a theory that we aren't really... sentient in the way that mundane humans are. That we're tools that dissect other tools, knowledge that unravels knowledge. That our personal desires have been bred out of us over generations. So following the lead of a feline doesn't seem strange to me at all. You've been following her guidance, haven't you? Making decisions based on her input? Usually I follow whatever Callista does… did. Uhhh. Yes. She brings me stuff, I understand it. We’re a team. Were. Before she expired. I should really be reassigned to someone else, now that I think about it.”

“Mroooo,” Stormy commented.

“Right,” Mooni nodded, tapping her talons together. “Not expired. Dead and alive. Sleeping? Not sleeping. An unexpected new variable. Where can I meet you? I really need to meet you so as not to get derailed by some other feline’s orders.”

“How do you know where we are?” I asked her.

“Farcast orb Astral triangulation,” Mooni replied.

“Follow the orb then,” I said. “Meet me wherever it ends up. Also, bring something that will help you swim under the North Sea. How long will it take you to get to where I am now?”

“Depends on how lucky I get on Champion rental,” Moonalia sighed. “Ten days minimum… maybe two weeks.”

“Fine,” I sighed. “See you then.”

“I’ll voicecast you again when I’ve completed the sunbeam location mapping, diving artifact and flying Champion acquisition quests, yes?” The Corvix fluttered.

“Sure,” I nodded.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” the bird-girl stuttered out and the Fascast orb dimmed, her image vanishing.

I turned to Stormy, my mind reeling from the conversation with a crow-person. The kitten sat there, looking far too pleased with herself.

"So," I began, trying to keep my voice level, "you're my owner, are you?"

Stormy just blinked at me, her tail swishing lazily.

"Mrrr," she replied, which probably meant "Of course".

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Look, Stormy, we need to talk about this. About our... roles. I've been following your lead because I thought you had some kind of future-seeing ability that was guiding us all to staying alive. But now that there’s just you and me left I'm starting to wonder if I've just been... what? Your servant? Your means to an end? Legs to take you to the ultimate sunbeam?"

Stormy squinted at me and then relocated to my lap, purring loudly. I couldn’t help but pet her and felt as she nuzzled into my fingers. I relocated the Codex closer to the purring kitten.

“Well? Am I important to you?”

The kitten yawned and then tapped [YES].

This confirmation made me feel marginally better.

“Are we a team?” I asked.

Stormy sighed and tapped ‘yes’ again.

"And this sunbeam - it's important somehow? Not just for you, but for all of us?"

Another ‘yes’.

I frowned, trying to piece it all together. "Does this have something to do with saving Teya? Or using that crystal snowflake we took from the Gygr?"

Stormy's paw hovered for a moment before tapping [Maybe].

I sighed. "You know, it would be a lot easier if you could just tell me the whole plan."

Stormy gave me a look that seemed to express, "I just want my damn sunbeam. Lay off me.”

“Do you have a multi-step plan to get to the sunbeam? One that you actually understand?” I demanded. “Do you see a specific path leading to the sunbeam, one that doesn’t get everyone I meet killed in the process?”

The kitten’s paw slid over to ‘no’.

“So… you only see the present choices that I’m offering you?” I asked. “Are you just tapping whichever answer is warmest, sunniest? Is that it?”

‘Yes’.

I rubbed my head tiredly.

Stormy looked up at me with an extremely weary look. “I’m just a scared, cold, miserable, tired, hungry, kitten. Just give me pets so I can feel better, damn it.” Her expression seemed to say.

I resigned myself to petting her, warming her with my embrace. The future seemed uncertain, but at least it would be sunny… someday.