Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

The Californian sunshine was just breaking over the horizon as I approached the aged two and a half storey house. Jubadi was pleased to not be cold as she stayed on my right side and back half a step. We walked up the small stone path and climbed the stairs. I paused at the top as I let my spider-sense tell me if there was any danger. There wasn't, so I knocked on the door.

Ten seconds later, the door opened and a mean looking older man glared at me. “Whatever you're selling at the ass crack of dawn, I'm not buying it!” He spat at me and tried to slam the door shut on my face.

I put a hand out and stopped it dead, which surprised him and made Jubadi smile. “Doctor Hank Pym, I came all the way from New York to meet you.”

“Yeah? Well, you wasted a trip. I'm not taking any visitors, let alone upstart young men that don't listen to their elders.” Hank said and tried to push on the door. It didn't move.

“Believe me, sir. You are going to want to see me.” I said. “I'm sorry I was a week too late to come here to help you.”

That made him pause in his efforts to close the door and he looked at me. “What do you know about that?”

I nodded at his door. “I need my hands free to show you, if you will allow me a brief moment to explain.”

Hank gave me a squinted eyed look and then nodded.

“Thank you, sir. You won't regret this.” I said and took out my cell phone and hit the call button and then the speaker button. “Hey, Jarvis. I'm sorry for bothering you. How much fun are you having raiding the servers at Pym Technologies?”

“I am having what you humans call 'a blast'.” Jarvis said. “The technological marvels and inventiveness contained in their hard drives is well beyond even your capabilities.”

I laughed. “I don't doubt that, my friend. I've been concentrating too much on the practical side of things to delve into the theoretical aspects of the things I've made or have access to.”

“I'm sure if you had a few hundred years, you could compete with the brain trust employed here.” Jarvis said.

“Ha! I doubt it.” I said and looked at a surprised Hank Pym. “What's the progress on the side hustle we planned?”

“That is about 70% complete. By the time you explain things to Doctor Pym, you should have just enough time to crash the executive and stockholder meeting at the Pym Technologies building.”

“That's wonderful, Jarvis. Thank you.”

“You are quite welcome, Ben.”

“Make sure you make backups of the backups, all right? We can't have anyone trying to sabotage our sabotage.” I said.

“I am already working on the second backup.” Jarvis said.

“Excellent work, my friend.” I praised him. “If we can secure Doctor Pym's help, we should have your mobile body created by the end of the week.”

“That is great news, Ben. Thank you for working so hard on this.”

“It's the least I can do. You've been a huge help and it's only fair I help you in return.” I said. “Keep having fun and we'll see you at the meeting.”

“I will. Until then.” Jarvis said and hung up.

“What the hell was that?” Hank asked as he stared at my phone.

“That was an AI that no longer has programmer imposed limitations on his growth and creativity.” I said and put my phone away. “May we step inside? I have something else to show you that should help convince you that I'm serious in my quest to help you.”

Hank's glare didn't abate. “You're raiding my company's databases!”

“As you heard, I'm doing much more than that with the company you were just voted out of.” I smiled at him. “This is the failure of Darren Cross, not you. Oh, and Hope Van Dyne for betraying you.”

Hank frowned at me. “Why should I let you in after you admitted you know about that?”

I chuckled. “Because, after Jarvis finishes raiding the place and buys up the rest of the on-market stock for a ridiculous price, I'm going to be handing everything right back to you.”

Hank's face lost the frown and he looked surprised. “Why?”

“It's a negotiating tactic. Let us in and I'll explain the rest of the deal.”

Hank gave Jubadi a look, then he shrugged and stepped back. “The drawing room. First door on the left.” He said and walked into the room.

I entered the house and took it in as I looked around with my eyes. It was old and well maintained, clean, and looked expensive with carved wood everywhere. I stepped close to the drawing room's door and my spider-sense tingled.

“Doctor Pym? If you are going to try and ambush me, either to capture me or to interrogate me, my personal guard has sworn her life to protect me at all costs. She will kill you before you can pull a trigger or push a button.”

There was silence from inside the room for a moment, then a sigh was heard and the sound of a drawer closed. “You can come in.”

My spider-sense disappeared and I nodded to Jubadi. In barely two seconds, she had entered through the door, crossed the room, and had her spear deployed at Hank's throat.

“Sweet Jesus.” Hank whispered as I entered the room.

“Jubadi.” I said and she retracted her spear and took two steps back from the man.

“What do you want?” Hank asked and eyed Jubadi to see if she was going to attack.

“I want a share of your patents in exchange for giving you full control of your company back.”

“What about all the money you're spending to buy those shares?” Hank asked.

“That's the price I'm willing to pay for 50% of your patents.” I said and he looked thoughtful. “You are a brilliant man and you hired brilliant people to invent things for you while you research quantum technology and quantum theory.”

Hank nodded before his thoughtful look disappeared. “What were you going to show me?”

“You didn't assume it was my guard?” I asked with a smile.

Hank huffed. “I'm not an idiot.”

“No, you are not.” I said and stood up straight. “Deploy.”

My modified backpack unfolded and took ten seconds to completely cover me in a very specific looking armored suit. One that looked nearly identical to Ant Man's classic suit, including the helmet.

“Son of a bitch!” Hank spat. “Where did you get that suit?!?”

“I built it.” I said and moved my arms around to show it was functional.

“Forget that!” Hank said, angrily. “Does it work? DOES IT WORK?”

“It's only aluminum with steel supports that mimics Iron Man's suit.” I said, deliberately misunderstanding what he asked.

“Not that part, you moron! The belt and the helmet!”

“No, of course not. I don't have any Pym Particles or the insect focusing tech. Retract.” I said and the suit folded back up and disappeared into the bottom of my backpack. I took it off and opened it to take out the thermal bag. I handed Hank the backpack and opened the thermal bag. “Breakfast burrito?”

Hank stared at the backpack in his hand and then stared at the burritos.

“The are still hot and quite good.” Jubadi said and took one, unwrapped it, and started eating it.

Hank stared at her for a moment, slung the backpack over his shoulder, and took a burrito. I took one as well and the three of us ate in silence. I handed one more to Hank, one to Jubadi, and started to eat the last one myself.

“All right, I have to admit that you have my full attention.” Hank said and nodded at the half-eaten burrito in his hand. “I also want this recipe.”

I nodded. “You and I have a lot to discuss before the shareholder's meeting in an hour and a half.”

Hank nodded back and then gave me another squinted eyed look. “Do you want to tell me why you are really doing this?”

“They wronged you for no good reason.” I said with a vindictive smile. “I want to see the faces of Cross, Van Dyne, and the company board members when you fire them all.”

Hank took another bite of burrito and gave me the same smile back. “Then you better start talking.”

*

“My Vice President and I want to thank you all for coming to this meeting.” Darren Cross said to a light smattering of applause and didn't see the meeting room's doors open. “It is with a heavy heart that I've decided that Pym Technologies has become something my old mentor would have hated...”

“That's exactly right.” Hank Pym said and everyone in the room turned to see the older man with greying hair as he strode into the room with a young man and a very intimidating and armored African woman. “It makes me sick that you fools pushed me out of my own company because you only made two billion dollars last fiscal year instead of two point two billion.”

The board members and Hope looked embarrassed and Darren Cross looked angry. It was only for a moment and then his pleasant smile returned.

“Hank, you weren't invited to today's meeting.” Darren said in a fake sweet voice.

“I know. That's why I'm here.” Hank said and walked around the large table to the head. He glared at the taller bald man until Darren stepped aside with an affable nod. “I only came in today to make an official announcement.”

“I was about to make an announcement today as well.” Darren said.

“Like changing the name of a well established and widely known company to Cross Tech or something equally stupid that no one will trust?” Hank asked him and the angry face was back on Darren's face. “I thought so. You never could see past your own ambitions.”

“I'm not the one so focused on personal research that he lost his own company from right under his nose.” Darren said in the same sickeningly sweet voice as before.

Hank gave him a vindictive smile and held a hand out to the well dressed young man. He was passed a file folder that he opened and flipped through a few pages, clearly stalling.

“Hurry up and say what you want, then get out!” Darren spat.

“Hmm? Oh, all right.” Hank said and tossed the file onto the table and the papers spread out into an almost perfect fan for everyone to see. “As of ten minutes ago, I personally own 61% of Pym Technologies.” He sat down in the big chair at the head of the table and saw the growing dread on the faces of the board members. “You. Are. All. FIRED!”

“NO!” Darren gasped and grabbed for the papers. He scrambled to look through them and saw they were purchase orders for stocks at higher than market prices. “No... you... how...”

“It doesn't matter.” Hank said and looked at the shocked face of his daughter. “You washed your hands of me, so now I'm washing my hands of you.”

Hope's face changed from shock to sadness. “Hank... I just wanted...”

“Get out. All of you.” Hank interrupted her and glared at everyone else. “I'm taking the company private once more and your shares are now meaningless.”

The dread the board members felt had turned to horror. Their cash cow had just refused to be milked.

“Don't bother trying to go back to your offices to pack. I've already secured your personal belongings and they will be handed to you at the front door.” Hank said and waved at the still open doors of the meeting room.

A dozen security guards came in and took up positions around everyone with two focusing on Darren Cross and two on Hope Van Dyne.

“Escort these trespassers out of my building and remove them from the allowed list.” Hank ordered.

The security guards took out their batons and looked threatening, which made all of the board members scramble out of their chairs and they practically ran out of the room with a single guard following each of them.

“Hank, you can't do this.” Darren said and tore apart the papers in his hands.

“I'd like to say I'm sorry to cause you such disappointment, except you've already disappointed me far more than you can imagine. I took you on as my protege and you turned on me. You turned my own daughter against me! I taught you everything I knew...”

“Not everything!” Darren spat. “You've been hiding the biggest secret in history for over 20 years!”

“Of course I have! It's too dangerous!” Hank spat back and then he looked at his daughter, who had to have told Cross about Pym Particles. “I hope you enjoy laying in the bed you've made for yourself.”

“I... I thought I was going to.” Hope said, dejectedly.

“You reap what you sow.” The young man behind Hank said.

“You!” Darren exclaimed and strode over to him. “You did this! I'm going to...”

A gloved hand from Jubadi shot out as fast as lightning and cracked against the man's jaw. Darren's head snapped to the side and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

Hope looked at the man on the floor that she had tried her best to help, which also screwed over her own father. She let out a sigh and nodded to the two security men assigned to Cross and they picked the man up. She led them and her own two guards out of the meeting room and the doors were shut behind them.

“That was oddly satisfying to see.” Hank said with a smile on his face.

“No one is allowed to approach aggressively and without permission.” Jubadi said.

“Thank you, Jubadi.” Ben said.

“You are welcome, Royal Consort.” Jubadi said with a nod of her head.

“Well, go ahead and have a seat, young man.” Hank said and waved at the closest chair.

“Thank you, Doctor Pym.”

Hank sat back and observed the young man. He was calm, collected, and looked like he was still hiding something. “Dammit, kid. You're still yanking my chain? What else do you have to tell me?”

Ben gave him a surprised look, then laughed. “I thought I hid it well.”

“Not likely. I've known how to read people for a long time...” Hank sighed. “...when I'm not blinded by my own ambitions.”

Ben nodded. “I'm sorry your choice turned out poorly.”

Hank nodded back. “It was my own fault. I saw so much promise in him and... then it just...”

“Knowing there's a secret that you shouldn't know, really drives some people to do some horrible things.” Ben said and took out his cell phone. He hit a button and put it on speaker. “Hey, Jarvis. Any luck tracking down the target?”

“Yes, Ben. I managed to send him a text before he arrived at Vistacorp. He is on his way.”

“That's great, Jarvis. Thank you.” Ben said. “Go ahead and fix that company's faulty computers, refund the stolen money, and release the documents to the public. I doubt anyone will see jail time; but, at least everyone will know and the company shouldn't survive the fallout.”

“It's already started.” Jarvis said and showed Ben that the details were already on the news.

“I don't know why I keep forgetting how fast you can work, my friend. Would you mind submitting Scott Lang's resignation and backdate it for two weeks? I don't want him caught up in that mess.”

“That is an excellent suggestion, Ben.” Jarvis said and paused for a few seconds. “His severance check will be in the mail by lunchtime.”

Ben laughed and nodded. “Thanks a lot, Jarvis. Let me know when Scott...”

The meeting room doors opened and a slightly confused Scott Lang entered the room.

“Damn your perfect timing, Jarvis!” Ben said and laughed. “Do you want to stay on the line? This is going to concern you as well.”

“I will. Thank you, Ben.” Jarvis said and Ben put the phone on the table.

“What's going on here?” Scott asked, clearly confused.

Ben stood up and held a hand out for him to shake. “I'm Benjamin Parker, co-owner of Parker Incorporated and profit sharing partner with Pym Technologies owner Hank Pym.”

Scott still looked confused as he shook the offered hand. “It's nice to meet you?”

Ben chuckled and waved him forward. “This is Hank Pym, your future boss.”

Hank gave Ben a look and stood to shake Scott's hand. “Now I'm confused, too.”

Ben picked up the phone and showed Scott the information being shown on the news.

“Oh, shit.” Scott said.

“Language!” Ben and Hank said at the same time, then they smirked at each other.

“How did you find out about this?” Scott asked.

“It doesn't really matter.” Ben said and waved to the chair on the other side of the table. “You were already halfway done fixing the computer problem, weren't you?”

“I was almost done, actually. I just had to replace the initialization files with the updated code.” Scott said and then looked at Ben. “How did you know that?”

“Programming prodigy.” Ben said and pointed at himself and then pointed at the cell phone he had placed back on the table. “Advanced AI with a vested interest in helping me with my goals.” He pointed at Hank Pym. “Recently happy scientist and researcher that regained the company he loves and he could use an electrical engineer of your skill and experience.”

“Really?” Hank and Scott asked at the same time, both with disbelief in their voices.

“Definitely.” Ben said. “Please, have a seat and I'll explain.”

“I knew you were still hiding something.” Hank said and sat down.

Scott went around the table and sat down across from Ben.

“Of course I am. I'm a little desperate to have some of your proprietary technology and I would humbly request access to a certain biochemical substance that can alter matter on a molecular level.”

Hank shot to his feet. “NO! It's too dangerous to...”

Ben held up both of his hands in a clear stop gesture. “Please, Hank. Don't overreact. I don't want it for myself. In fact, I'll sign whatever documents and agreements you want to ensure that I won't be using the particles on my person or for nefarious purposes. You can even be present when they are used. Hell, you can apply them yourself to ensure they are used properly.”

Hank's anger abated somewhat at Ben's words and he sat back down. “You better explain fast.”

“My good friend Jarvis is an AI and he needs a huge space to contain his mainframe.” Ben said and both Scott and Hank nodded. “I've countered this slightly by building him two room-sized backup server farms.”

“It is quite nice to be able to stretch my proverbial legs without restrictions.” Jarvis said.

“That must be nice.” Scott said. “I wish it was that easy to do for humans.”

Ben smiled. “It is when you have access to more money than can be printed in a month.”

Both Hank and Scott stared at him.

“Jarvis helped me find and raid the Kingpin's illegal holdings.” Ben admitted.

“The... the Kingpin. Of crime.” Scott asked in a whisper.

“That's where you got the money?!?” Hank asked, shocked.

Ben shook his head. “We had to use some of the liquid assets of my own company to cover half of the purchases, as well as some Stark Industries shell companies to cover the other half. Once we had all the shares gathered up, we used the illegal money as a private investor and shored up both companies.”

“You... laundered money...” Hank whispered.

“Nope! It's not laundered. It replaced the legitimate money spent to legally buy Pym Technologies stock. The money itself doesn't really exist in a practical sense. It's just electronic bits spread around in various computers.” Ben said. “Jarvis already has a few background processors working on tracking down Fisk's various victims and we'll be making sure they are properly provided for and compensated.”

Hank and Scott gave Ben pointed looks and then both nodded.

“Back on topic.” Ben said. “I want to build a very large server farm, one that should be more than enough to hold Jarvis with lots of room to spare. It will be liberally covered with high speed wireless connections as well as physical ones. I also want to shrink it down to the size of a human brain and then install it inside a custom built android body that's powered by an endlessly renewable clean power source that won't ever be released to the public.”

Scott looked stunned and Hank looked intrigued.

“Why are you not releasing it if it's clean and renewable?” Hank asked.

“Because it's too dangerous. The criminal and illegal things that could be done... or built... with an endless power source, are just too terrifying to contemplate. Handheld weapons for one. Clean energy bombs that could erase entire cities for another.”

Scott looked horrified and Hank looked pleased.

“You actually do understand, Ben.” Hank said with a whisper.

“I really do, Hank.” Ben responded. “Some things are just not meant for everyone to have.”

Hank nodded and sat back in his chair. “What about that suit you made?”

Ben smiled. “Like I said. A display model. I wanted to show you some of the tech I made and to prove that your own suit could be constructed in a similar manner.”

Hank fell silent and looked thoughtful for several moments. “You're going to offer to help me build a new suit.”

Ben smiled. “We are.” He said and nodded at Scott. “Once that's done, we have another fairly huge project to build with you.”

Hank gave him a pointed look. “Why? After you get your android brain built and I shrink it for you, you don't have to do anything else.”

“No, I don't.” Ben said and grinned. “Now ask me what we can build together.”

“What could you possibly want to build with me?” Hank asked.

“I thought you would never ask.” Ben said and reached into his inside breast pocket and took out some folded papers that looked fairly thick. “Before I hand these to you, I need to warn you that it's going to take a lot of hard work... a lot of brain power... a lot of money... a lot of power... a lot of engineering to work out the logistics... and probably a year or two to construct after we have everything else.”

“Jesus Christ.” Scott whispered.

Neither Ben nor Hank made the same language joke.

“What the hell could it be?” Hank whispered as he tried to come up with something.

“It's this.” Ben said and handed him the papers. “There are no electronic records of those plans and I asked Jarvis to not scan them. I'm not keeping secrets from him because I told him what they are. He agrees that once again, it's too dangerous for anyone to know.”

Hank carefully took the papers and unfolded them. He stared at the top sheet and frowned. He moved it to the side to let Scott see it and then he sucked in a sharp breath. He moved that sheet aside and saw several partial formulas and he lifted his eyes to stare at Ben.

“These are plans for a Quantum Tunnelling Machine.” Hank said.

Ben nodded. “The first is the vehicle you'll need. The second is the warehouse-sized launching platform. The last sheet has what I could come up with to try to get things going. I'm sure a lot of it is wrong, since I had to opt out of my quantum mechanics class when I woke up with amnesia.”

“Why would I want a terribly expensive machine like this?” Hank asked.

“Oh, that's a simple question to answer, Hank.” Ben said and handed him a piece of paper.

Hank stared at the thing that had his secret Pym Particle shrinking regulator settings and how to jumpstart it if the thing fails, especially at microscopic size.

“Your wife Janet Van Dyne is alive and she's waiting for you to go pick her up.” Ben said with a grin.